


Love Bites

by twentyonetwentyone



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Blood Drinking, Fantasy, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Human!Isak, Humor, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Romance, This Is Really Fucking Angsty, Vampire Bites, Vampire!Even, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-17 07:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 94,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9310388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twentyonetwentyone/pseuds/twentyonetwentyone
Summary: Isak Valtersen is an isolated, closeted high school student, struggling to breathe under water and unceasingly running from his issues, the truth and himself.Even Bech Næsheim lives within the shadows, his existence an ultimately dark, loveless tangle of emotional detachment, eternal loneliness and bloodshed.After a house party brings the two of them together and their lives violently collide, Isak is unable to shake the memory of the beautiful, mysterious and terrifying stranger.*or the vampire au that no one asked for.





	1. "This boy is scared to death of the truth"

Isak sat on the couch, shuffling his beer in his hands awkwardly as he tried to avert his eyes from Jonas and a random first year who were respectively drunk and high and slumped beside him, making out messily, their laboured groans as well as the pumping music of the house party grating at Isak's eardrums. He took a large gulp of his beer- which happened to be his seventh- knowing very well that he was only attempting to drink away the emotional turmoil that perpetually hung over him- but barely finding it in himself to care. This is what he did; he ran away from his feelings. He ran away from his mother and her faltering mind, he ran from that bittersweet pang he got in the pit of his stomach when he stole glances at the other boys, naked and glistening wet in the locker room. He ran from the shame that burned so deeply within him, he ran from the truth. He knew that one day he would have to stop running, that he would become far too exhausted and that his body would give in, the pain he had been pushing to the deep recesses of himself taking over completely and swallowing him whole. He lived in constant fear of that day, the day he knew it would all become too much, the day his intricately crafted armour of lies would crack and crumble around him, leaving him vulnerable and weak under the harsh light of the ugly truth.  


The thought of it propelled him to hastily take another large gulp of beer, turning to find that Jonas and the first year were now scrambling off the couch and disappearing into the sea of sweaty, inebriated teenage bodies, retreating to one of the bedrooms upstairs to have what he assumed would be sloppy, drunken, meaningless sex. He sighed. Alone now, Isak downed the rest of his beer and stood up, shuffling through the mass of intoxicated youths, trying in his tipsy daze to find an exit. His face was hot, his head was buzzing and he needed air. As he neared the back door of the house, he felt the watchful eyes of various girls, staring at him lustfully from underneath their false eyelashes, assuming he was just like all the other boys, that he would return the sexually-latent glances and perhaps dance with them, eventually running off with them upstairs to have some sloppy, drunken, meaningless sex of his own. He didn't return the glances, though. Unfortunately for Isak Valtersen, he was not like all the other boys.  


Outside, the world quietened. Away from the party, in the ice-cold night air, everything felt incredibly still, the clatter of the people inside a distant commotion, a strange sense of peaceful loneliness falling over the boy, his head lifting to look up at the sky, which was almost empty, the stars hiding behind feathery dark grey clouds, his delicate face illuminated by only the faint light of the party going on behind him and the large, stark-white, full moon. 

He didn't know if it was the alcohol or something else within him, but, for whatever inexplicable reason, the young blonde began to feel small tears forming in his eyes. Wiping at them almost frantically, desperate to keep every drop of his suffering safely confined within him, Isak convinced himself that of course it was the alcohol, he had drank too much and that was all. It wasn't like him to be so weak. Except his tears only worsened, soon progressing into a breathless sob. His hands clawed at his face, almost as if he was trying to physically stop his eyes from producing moisture, like he was trying to somehow push the tears back where they came from. He stumbled further into the garden; finding a long bench and sitting himself down on it in an attempt steady his body, his rib cage quivering from the uncontrollable sobs that tore from his chest. With shaky hands he pulled out a joint from his pocket, trying, for a moment to remember the phrase Jonas had once told him. 

Was it _'grass before beer and you're in the clear, beer before grass and you're on the ass'_ or was it the other way around? 

He decided that he didn't care, and lit the joint anyway. If he threw up or bad buzzed that's just how it was going to have to be. His sobs subsided, and he calmed for a moment, taking a drag and coughing slightly, jumping in his place when he heard soft footsteps from behind him. 

_How odd,_ he thought vaguely, he was sure he'd been the only person out there and he hadn't even heard the back door behind him open. He frowned for a moment and then figured he had probably been too distracted by his own pathetic tears to notice. 

Realizing the steps were coming from his right, he turned to them, peering into the blackness of the garden until little by little, the faint moonlight cast from the sky revealed the approaching figure. Isak first noticed that the person was very tall, gracefully built and almost lanky in his physicality, his face becoming apparent as the stranger neared him, Isak letting out a quiet and involuntary gasp at the sight of it. In all his seventeen years, Isak had never witnessed a human being that was so resoundingly captivating in beauty. He was almost too beautiful, too perfect, the strangers skin a porcelain white, his blonde, delicately swept hair catching the light of the moon, his lips, flushed and full and his glinting eyes a sparkling, bottomless blue, their intensity noticeable even in the moderate darkness of the backyard. He was young, probably only a little older than Isak, yet he was dressed rather formally, a well-fitted black coat, an immaculately arranged black scarf and slim tailored black pants sheathing his body, his attire peculiarly sophisticated, given his young age and the fact that he was at a house party. 

Isak just sat there, his joint burning away in his hand, mouth slightly open as he stared at the godlike being before him.  


'Hello.' The stranger said in a velvety deep voice.  


Isak fidgeted at this, intimidated by the other male's presence, letting out a quiet and delayed 'Hi' in response and drawing his eyes sharply to the ground.  


'You were crying.' The stranger stated flatly, walking gracefully over to the bench and hovering around Isak, who sunk back into his hoodie in what almost felt like fear. 

His cheeks burnt in embarrassment.  


'Oh. You saw that.' Isak muttered sheepishly while the older teenager sat beside him on the bench.  


He let out a soft, beautiful laugh and nodded, looking at Isak who refused to meet his piercing eyes.  


'Don't worry. Emotions break even the best of us.' The stranger said simply with a warm, inviting smile, Isak noticing the white glint of the other boy's teeth in his peripheral vision.  


The boy shrugged and took another drag. _Who was this strange and alluring individual?_ Isak had never seen him in his life, that much he was sure. If he had, he would have remembered him, a face like that was unforgettable.  


'Y-you don't go to Nissen...' Isak stuttered, finally looking up at the celestial boy next to him.  


A familiar warmth took over the young blonde's chest and he scorned himself silently for it. The taller boy looked confused for a moment and then his expression smoothed. 

He laughed again, the sound of it like music.  


'No.' He replied in agreeance.  


'Elvebakken?'  


'No.'  


The stranger looked off into the darkness of the garden, as if he was in deep concentration, turning back to the other, a charming smile brightening his features once again. Isak felt his heart race, could feel his blood pumping faster. The other boy's smile widened, as if he could tell.  


'I don't actually go to school. Well, not anymore.' He explained nebulously.  


'Oh.' Isak nodded in understanding 'You've graduated.' He paused, struggling to make small talk under the hawk-like gaze of the terrifyingly attractive male. 'So... Where did you go? B-before you graduated, that is.'  


'Nowhere around here.' Was all the boy said in response.  


'Oh.' Isak repeated sheepishly, looking at the ground again. 

He felt like an idiot.  


'Why were you crying?' The stranger asked suddenly, abruptly. 'If you don't mind me asking?'  


Isak was perceivably jostled at this, overcome by the tone of genuine care in the other boy's voice.  


'I don't know...' He shrugged, flushing. 'I drank too much, I guess...'  


The stranger laughed, the pleasant sound coming out higher now, louder.  


'And now you're smoking weed!?' His tone was jovial and he gestured to the joint, his handsome face lighting up as he spoke. 'You're going to vomit.' He went on with another laugh. 'You never smoke weed after you drink. Everyone knows that. It's an essential rule in the world of debauchery.'  


He shook his head in mock disappointment.  


'Damn it.' Isak muttered, laughing under his breath and looking at his hands.  


He had remembered Jonas's words correctly, after all. _Oh well_ , he thought. He presently felt completely fine, exhilarated, even. Whether that was due to the company of the gorgeous young man beside him, he wasn't sure. A small and unwanted voice within Isak told him that it was.  


'But alcohol, of course, is not an excuse enough for the crying...' The older boy began pryingly. 'Alcohol is supposed to make you happy, or so I remember, anyway...'  


'Well-.' Isak started and then stopped himself. 

He looked the end of his joint in his hands, twirling it in his fingers before realizing that it really didn't matter what he said to the stranger, as he was just that; a stranger, someone he would probably never see ever again. A small part of Isak, however, did want to see the mysterious young man again, but he squandered that feeling and went on.  


'The thing is...' Isak started, gulping and taking one last drag of his joint before dropping it to the ground and swiftly putting it out with his shoe. 'Well, I don't know. I guess...’ He paused again, finding his words. ‘I just feel so alone. Like- kind of like everyone else is above water floating and I'm just drowning.’ He looked off into the nothingness of the night, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. ‘It’s like I can't fucking breathe and-' He laughed at himself then. 'God, I sound like an emo-' Isak looked at his knees, 'I don't know... It's stupid. It's a stupid reason to cry-'  


'No.' The other boy cut him off. 'No, it isn't.'  


There was something unreadable written in the stranger’s voice and printed on his beautiful face. He looked almost as if he felt guilty.  


'It _is_ stupid,' Isak said sullenly, voice breaking. 'I mean, think about Syria...'  


'What about Syria?' Another laugh came from the mysterious boy's lips.  


The two of them had unconsciously edged towards each other as the conversation progressed and Isak could feel the warmth of the other’s breath on his face. Without meaning too, he looked down at the strangers lips. Isak wanted to kiss him. He shook the thought from his mind.  


'Well…’ He swallowed ‘…a lot of bad shit happens in Syria and...' Isak paused. He was becoming more and more distracted by the closing distance between himself and the other boy. 'I think maybe... I shouldn't cry about stupid things like…' The boy noticed Isak's wandering eyes and moved his face even closer. '...like feeling alone.' Isak finished with great difficulty.  


The stranger laughed again and the expression on his face began to darken. Carefully, as if Isak was made of thin glass that could shatter at the slightest mishandling, the taller boy placed his hand on the side of his neck, cupping his jaw as he leaned in to press a soft, warm kiss on the other teenager's lips, electricity shooting through Isak's body as they touched, a slight sense of fear making him hesitant to turn fully into the embrace. 

Fear of who he really was, fear of the truth, fear of himself. 

And fear of something else. 

Deep within his gut, almost intuitively, Isak felt a distinct, primitive fear of the beautiful stranger before him. Fear his soft lips, his rich, intoxicatingly sweet scent, his nightmarish attractiveness and his cold, gentle hands, that were now becoming more demanding of Isak, sliding along his neck, and pulling him greedily to him, his mouth becoming urgent. The fear within Isak entwined with heavy lust, a lust that kept him there, trapped under the boy's control. His mouth trailed down Isak's neck, his hands tangling in the younger boy’s golden hair and roughly bending his head back. Isak let out a choked groan as the stranger kissed and sucked hotly at his tender skin. He felt like he might combust at the sensations, rich and heady, the adolescent becoming so overwhelmed with passion that all fear left his body and he gave in to the moment, pulling the stranger closer to him, wanting more. All fear left his body, that was, until the stranger let out a monstrous groan, sinking his razor-sharp teeth into the younger boy's throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This boy is scared to death of the truth" - Donnie Darko, 2001


	2. "The cry of all the things that are to die"

The reaction of Isak's body was instantaneous, his back arching at the feeling that was coursing through him, his dazed mind unable to register either the immense danger or absurdity of the situation. 

The sensation felt like something between pleasure and pain, splintering through his system, an almost orgasmic euphoria mingling with the sharp ache that ran deep in his veins. The stranger sunk his teeth further into the boy’s neck, Isak so overcome by the intensity of it that he didn’t even try to pull away, instead becoming pliant in the man's arms, letting him pull his head back further, fingers tangled in his hair, claiming him and drawing him closer. The younger boy let out a strangled moan, this encouraging the stranger, who was able to pull the stunned boy roughly by the waist and force him down on his back against the cold bench, climbing to straddle him, pressing himself hard against the smaller teenagers body, an animalistic growl escaping his lips as he hungrily sucked blood from the wound he had created in his prey's tender skin. 

Isak was so lost, his brain ablaze, his physical form almost paralyzed with the exception of his hands that feebly clung to his perpetrator and his hips that ground into him, the boy submitting completely to the violent seduction. He was so lost in the feeling of the other boys lips on his throat, the feeling of the strangers soft hair brushing at his jaw, so lost in the fervent pain that pulsated through him as the young man drove his teeth deeper into his flesh, so lost in it all that he almost hadn't noticed that he was slowly being killed. When he did, however, register the true motives of the handsome boy, the realization hit him hard. Desperate to reclaim the life that was increasingly slipping from his frail body, Isak began to thrash under the stranger’s strong hold, pathetically at first, his struggle becoming more rampant as the severity of everything became clearer to him. He would die, he thought, if the stranger continued, and although Isak Valtersen had often welcomed the prospect of death, his primitive desire to survive kicked in and he felt his blood- the blood that was gradually being drained from his body- become ice cold with fear. 

He didn't want to go, not like this, not in the arms of an obviously deranged stranger, never having lived his truth, never having escaped the cage of deceit he had trapped himself so tightly within. He had suffered in isolation for years, lied to himself and to others, hurt himself and others, all for it to amount to nothing, all for him to be suddenly killed, never understanding what it meant to be free. 

He had barely noticed that pained sobs had begun to tear from him, his body quivering, terrified as all the pleasure he had been previously experiencing faded and the dull ache took over, exacerbated by his cold trepidation. He tried to stop himself, not wanting to let the monster on top of him hear him cry, not wanting to give the murderous stranger any satisfaction. But he cried anyway as he always did, the faintness of his heart betraying him, and found himself pleading softly with the man that was killing him in between sobs, his words coming out low and wavering like the small cries of a wounded animal. 

'Please...' He begged quietly, choked almost by his tears, 'Please... I'm not ready to die... please.' 

And as if his pleas had sent an electric current through him, the stranger jerked back from the crying boy, teeth disengaging from his bleeding throat and hands softening around his fragile body. The attacker hovered there over him for a long moment, staring down at his victim, blood smeared across his beautiful mouth, blue eyes burning with something that looked like anguish as they took in Isak, the smaller boys delicate face streaked with tears, his mouth open and gasping, his neck, bitten and bloodied. Isak stared wordlessly back at him, into those strangely gentle eyes, at that face, that, even while laced in his blood was still strikingly angelic, his tears beginning to fade as he realized that his death was no longer imminent. As they stared silently into each other eyes, an unspoken sense of understanding manifesting between them, Isak was filled with a feeling of deep warmth, a warmth he had no time to process as the strangers weight suddenly lifted from him and the beautiful creature, as if by magic, was gone, becoming one again with the shadows from which he emerged. 

Isak was left, lying on his back, bleeding and confused, his hands curling limply at his chest as he stared into the empty darkness that the stranger had left in his wake. He just stayed there like that, frozen in a state of perplexity for a few drawn out minutes as he caught up with his breathing, before he began to lift himself slowly from where he had been pushed down, his body exhausted from near-death anxiety. It was almost as if the phantasmagorical young man had never been there at all. 

A piercing sting, however, throbbed from the wound on his neck, indubitable evidence of the stranger’s presence and what he had done. 

_Who was this creature, this dreamlike being with his sharp teeth and pale blue eyes?_

Had Isak really just been attacked by what he could only assume was a vampire? Had that really happened? 

He wanted to tell himself it was just the weed and then the drinking, he wanted to tell himself there must have been something else in the drugs, that he had hallucinated, gone mad, imagined it. 

Anything. 

But he couldn't. He couldn't erase the vision of the boy or the echo of the pain. He couldn't erase the residual echo of the pleasure that had rippled through him at the vampire's bite. 

Suddenly, following the creature's prediction, bile washed up into Isak's mouth and the young boy dry retched before leaning forward and vomiting violently on the ground before him. 

Once he was done he sat up, holding his head in his hands, trying to stop the universe from spinning, trying not to descend into complete hysteria. He needed to go home, he thought, he needed to sleep. He needed to leave the party, shower off the blood, take a few of Linn's sedatives to calm his raging nerves and just sleep for twelve hours, hopefully waking up the next day to find that it all had been a nightmare, nothing more than a fucked-up, _homoerotic_ nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The cry of all the things that are to die" - Antichrist, 2009


	3. "One's eyes adjust to the darkness"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter contains reference to sexual harassment as well as brief descriptions of violence.

Isak awoke with what felt like the worst hangover of his life. His face was overwhelmingly hot, his mouth was bone dry and his muscles were languid and heavy, his entire physicality recoiling from the soft light that was filtering through the curtains of his bedroom window. As the weight of sleep slowly left him, he reached for his phone, finding that it was almost midday. He had received a message, a bible verse from his mother, Isak barely looking at the words before letting out a grunt of irritation and closing his phone. 

He felt like shit. 

After lying in his own discontentment for several minutes he wrenched himself from his suffocating bed sheets and staggered lazily out of his room and down the hall to the small bathroom that he shared with his flat mates. 

In the kitchen, he could hear quiet talking and the soft clanking of dishes and cutlery, Britney Spears' 'Toxic' emanating faintly throughout the house. _Eskild's favourite song_ , Isak thought in annoyance, wincing as the relatively low pop music pierced his ears. 

He entered the bathroom, wavering on his feet slightly as he closed the door, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, the sight of it causing him to freeze in his place. 

A cold sweat broke out on his brow and he felt something drop in the pit of his stomach, last night's suppressed memories surfacing as he stared into the wound that had taken over the side of his throat, an array of pink and purplish bruises blossoming from under his jaw all the way down to the base of his neck, thin, reddened veins branching from the two small yet distinct holes that sat in the centre of the infected area of skin. 

Isak's face paled. 

The stranger in the garden, the bite he had given him, it all felt like a nightmare, like a distant bad dream. 

Except it wasn't. Isak's breath came out fast and shallow and he realized that his entire frame was shaking. 

'Fuck.' A small gasp escaped his lips, mind-numbing panic clouding his brain. 

_This can't be real. This can't be real ._

He crouched in front it the mirror and raised a trembling hand to the wound to touch the sensitive skin around the bite marks, flinching at the pain and letting out a sharp breath. 

He wanted to tell himself that even if all of it had really happened and that stranger had actually bitten him, that it didn't necessarily mean he had been attacked by an _actual vampire_. It was quite plausible, he thought, that the boy was a just a psychotic cannibal, like Jeffree Dahmer or Hannibal Lector. He had seen that kind of shit in TV shows all the time, it was probably quite common. It wasn't necessarily like he had encountered some all-powerful, superhuman force of evil. No. The stranger was probably just some crazy sadistic _human_ murderer that Isak had the misfortune of running into. 

Except, the bite of a human could not have caused Isak to feel what he had felt, the overpowering ecstasy, lit by the agonizing pain. A human could not have seduced Isak into his own near-death, willing him into it with a profound, consuming field of magnetism. A human bite would not leave him with a gruesomely infected neck and only two perfectly round incisions, incisions that appeared to be left by _fangs_. Isak felt like he might faint. 

A light knock sounded on the door, and Isak jumped at the noise, falling backwards into the wall behind him. 

'Isak!' Eskild's cheery voice sang. 

Isak tried to answer but couldn't quite find it in himself to utter a sound. 

'Isak!' Eskild continued. 'I know you're probably styling that beautiful hair of yours, but I need to use the toilet...Isak?' 

‘Fuck.' Isak breathed. 

What would his roommate think of his wound, how the _hell_ was he supposed to explain it? 

'Isak, my lovely, you're being a bit of a dick, mother has to use the ladies room!' 

Even in his state of absolute panic the blonde teenager still rolled his eyes when Eskild referred to himself as Isak's mother. His gut instinct was to hide the bite wound from all other people until he figured out exactly what was going on and whether or not he was slowly going to start transforming into a vampire. 

He shook his head rampantly. 

This was crazy. _He_ was crazy. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

'Isak!' Eskild's voice grew impatient. 'How long are you going to take?!' 

In a completely impulsive move, Isak snatched his towel off the rack and wrapped it around his neck before opening the door to a petulant Eskild, who stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the door frame. 

'All done.' Isak announced unsteadily, trying to remain dignified with a towel inexplicably bundled around his throat. 

He told himself that if he didn't act like it was weird, Eskild wouldn't mention it. His roommate looked at him, his arms unfolding and his eyes squinting. He raised a finger. 

'Why do you have a towel bunched around you like that?' Eskild's face scrunched in confusion. 

'My neck is kind of cold.' Isak shot back quickly, trying to seem nonchalant about it. 

'Okay...' Eskild scratched the side of his head. 

Isak nodded one sharp nod before shuffling past his roommate and walking swiftly back into the safety of his room, locking the door behind him and leaning his back against it, sliding down and dropping to the hard-wood floor. _What was happening? Was he going to die? Was he losing his mind to delusions just like his mother?_

His heart raced and his thoughts looped and he felt as if he was on the brink of detaching from reality- that was, if he hadn't already. So, in an attempt to calm himself, Isak did what any millennial did when faced with a serious issue. He braced himself, got up off his floor and sat on his bed, started his laptop and typed in 'have I been bitten by a vampire and am I slowly turning into one?' on google search. 

*** 

Isak wore scarves for the rest of that week. His internet findings had not helped him. All he got were a few blogs about Twilight and a couple of useless informational pages from 2005. He had decided that it would be best for him not to become too panicked until some kind of profound change occurred, such as the wound worsening or him developing a sudden thirst for blood. Those things, fortunately, did not happen. For a straight three days nothing about his state altered. The bite was still a horrifying and grisly spectacle and he still felt drowsy and feverish, this prompting him to stay home on both Monday and Tuesday, bundled up in his room, blinds down, curtains drawn, reading the various vampire-related ebooks he had downloaded for educational purposes. Eskild was becoming increasingly worried about him, he, Noora and even Linn interchangeably bringing Isak food and water, the blonde boy so far gone in his endeavours that he had forgotten the basic fundamentals of living. 

By Wednesday Isak noted that the wound was looking considerably better, the inflamed skin around it calming, only the teeth marks noticeably visible. He kept a low profile at school, only half-involving himself in the conversations between himself, Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi and trying every minute not to think of the creature who had marked him, the seraphic being who had kissed him so tenderly under the pale moonlight. It had been the first time Isak had kissed a boy and although it was followed by otherworldly violence, the teenager would be lying if he said it did not cause his figurative heart to spark, even the memory of it. He was disgusted in himself for lusting after someone who had nearly killed him, he was disgusted in himself in general; for lusting after guys at all. 

He had every intention to continue to isolate himself from all others for another week, when the boys invited him to a pregame at Mahdi's on Friday. He wanted to decline, but after Jonas raised his overly-full eyebrows and said: 'Come on bro, it'd be good to get all the boys back together,' all Isak could do in response was reluctantly comply. 

*** 

The pregame conversation made Isak want to disappear into the ground. He and the rest of his friends were all gathered around the small coffee table, Magnus and Mahdi listening in transfixed admiration as Jonas explained in immense detail the different techniques and moves he employed when going down girls, while Isak squirmed and hurriedly went through beers, the topic a prospect he couldn't quite handle while sober. 

He knew how to pretend though; it's what he did best. He knew to when to nod, knew when to force out a fake laugh, knew how to seamlessly fabricate a small personal anecdote here and there, knew how to seem just like the rest of them. And even though he could never entirely fool himself, fooling them made him feel good, it made him feel normal. And that’s all Isak had ever really wanted to be; normal. Normal like Jonas, the boy who was perpetually chilled out, suave and comfortable in his skin. Jonas, who listened to rap music and went down on girls. _Normal._ But Isak was not normal, not at all. Especially not now, he thought, that he had been bitten by a vampire. The idea of it was so inconceivable that it made him almost want to laugh, and he would have, had he not been resoundingly frightened, frightened to his core of all that he did not know. 

By the time Jonas came to the end of his deep exposition on the female reproductive anatomy, a thick nausea had overtaken Isak, and he knew it was more than just the beer. He wanted to go home, that's all he wanted right then, to hide from the night and return to the sweet ignorance he had once known only a little more than a week earlier. When the boys were heading out to leave for the party Isak told Jonas that he felt ill and thought it would be best if he didn't join them, his best friend seeing something in the young blonde's face that stopped him from making any protests. 

*** 

The air was particularly icy that night, and even bundled in his layered jackets and heavy scarf, Isak was chilled to the bone as he walked hurriedly from Mahdi's to the Kollectivet flat. The moon was completely obscured, eaten by dark, rain-filled clouds, an eeriness hanging thick in the air. Isak had not thought this through, had not realized how petrified he would be walking through the darkness of the evening, having known first hand of the true horrors that the darkness encompassed. He didn't know if it was just paranoia, but Isak was almost certain he was being watched. He kept his head down, looking at the ground, his heart pounding hard against his ribcage, his nerves on fire. 

_Stupid,_ he thought, he was _so stupid._

_Why would he put himself through this? Why didn't he just go to the party with his friends?_ Sure, it would have been a boring time but it would have been a step up from the nauseating fear he was currently consumed by. 

He only lived a few blocks down and if he could just ignore the paranoid apprehension within himself for another ten minutes he figured he could make it home without experiencing a panic attack. The likelihood of that, however, completely diminished, when the boy heard heavy footsteps behind him. 

'Where are you headed?' asked an unfamiliar voice from behind him. 

Isak kept walking, fisted hands in his pockets, praying to a god he didn't believe in that the man behind him was just a drunken loiterer and meant him no harm. The man's voice was not the one he had been expecting, the voice a weaker part of him had _wanted._ It was a gruff, menacing voice, low and gravely from what Isak assumed was a lifetime spent smoking cigarettes. 

'Where are you going?' The repulsive voice asked again, Isak so frightened that all he could do was keep his head down, shaking it slightly, quietly muttering 'Nowhere.' 

He began to pick up the pace of his strides, adrenaline kicking in. 

_How did he manage to put himself in constant danger? How could he get so unlucky? First the vampire and now this._

Every Friday night, hundreds of Norwegian teenagers walked the streets, wandering home from the clubs and the house parties and every Friday, the vast bulk of those youths found their way safely back to their bedrooms. But of course, not Isak, _no,_ he never got to be a part of the lucky majority. 

Isak could feel the man closing in behind him and he walked as swiftly as he could, knowing his attempts were becoming increasingly useless. 

He was alone in the night, only a few blocks away from safety but not close enough, utterly defenseless. This man was not going to leave him alone, this much Isak knew and as he felt the vile stranger lunge behind him and take a hold of the teenagers arm in one hard, bruising grab, Isak felt his heart sink in his chest. Helpless, he didn't even try to scream as he was being pulled like a rag doll into the nearby alleyway. 

'I don't have any money!' Isak gasped fretfully as the man slammed him up against a cold brick wall. 

He was bigger than Isak, a good foot and a half taller and brawny in stature, smelling faintly of urine and tobacco, alcohol on his breath. Isak wanted to vomit, shrinking in on himself as the man’s face came close to his, feeling like a baby bird about to be torn apart by a dog. The attacker was obviously middle-aged, his face indiscernible in the night. 

Isak feeling all hope drain from his body as he heard him snicker. 

'I don't want money.' 

A cold chill ran down Isak spine as he registered what that meant. He let out a single strangled cry as the disgusting stranger's sweaty hands began to slide under the boys clothing, his fingertips calloused and rough against skin of Isak's stomach. The teenager closed his eyes tightly, shuddering in repulsion at the unwanted touch, unable to breathe, unable to face what he was about to be subjected to, when the putrid man was suddenly off of him. Immediate relief flooded Isak's system, but he didn't have it in him to move. 

He was stuck there, back pressed against the brick wall, eyes still closed, stilled by trauma. 

And that's when he heard it. Heard the splintering cries of agony, heard the sound of cracking bones. Isak's eyes fluttered open to see the man who had just been towering over him, lying almost lifeless on the ground, cowering in terror, his arms and legs limp and dislocated around him, twisted in a way that could not have been healthy for a human being. Isak gulped and although he was disturbed by the violent scene before him, his breathing stabilized, his heart pounding in his chest for a different reason as his eyes lifted to the figure who crouched over his whimpering offender. 

_It was him._ The pale-haired stranger with the cerulean eyes, the boy who only a week ago, had irreversibly altered Isak's life. 

Isak knew he should have been scared, knew he shouldn't have felt inexplicably safe in the vampire's presence, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't frightened. He wasn't even frightened when he saw the creature duck elegantly, lifting the middle-aged-man's wrist and biting into it in order to suck him dry of his bodily fluids. Isak just stood there, pressed against the wall, transfixed by the gorgeous but deadly boy before him. 

The vampire winced and pulled the man's wrist from his mouth, blood coating his full lips. He scrunched his face is disgust. 

'He tastes horrible.' The stranger said casually, his voice smooth, laced with humor. 

He looked up and grinned at Isak, blood on his teeth, the younger boy’s eyes widening at the sight of it. He was so breathtakingly beautiful, his smile sincere, warm. Isak was frozen in place. 

'Wh-what are you...' Isak gasped out, not daring to move as the other boy lifted from his crouch and took a few careful steps towards him. 

'My name is Even.' He said, his smile widening as he came even closer and extended a hand between them. Isak just stared at it, stupidly. 

Knowing he wasn't going to be obliged Even let out a light laugh and let his hand fall to his side. 

'Y-you- You're a vampire?' Isak looked at the ground nervously. 

_What a dumb question_ , he thought, refusing to make eye contact with the creature. There was electricity between them that Isak couldn't quite handle. 

'You don't miss much, do you Isak?' Even said playfully with another chuckle, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his sleeve. 

Isak twitched nervously. 

'H-how d-do you know my name?' He asked in a panic. 

Even just raised his eyebrows and smirked. Isak blinked profusely. 

'How- how do you know my name?' He repeated shakily, anxious, wide eyes surveying the vampire. 

Even laughed brightly, the sound of it pleasing Isak more than he was ready to admit. 

'Chill out, Isak. I found you on Facebook.' 

Isak frowned. 

'Oh.' He murmured. 

'What?' Even continued with one of his dazzling smiles, 'Did you think I had telepathic vampire powers or something?' 

'No.' Isak retorted. 

He totally had. 

He let out a shaky breath, peering up at Even's smiling face through his eyelashes, the corners of his own mouth turning upwards. It was strange to think that only a few minutes earlier he had been in a state of utter terror, trapped, helpless and disabled by fear. He remembered reluctantly that he should still be afraid, afraid of this boy who- while charming and amicable at present- had still savagely bitten him, almost taking his life. His hand flew automatically to cup the marks that were still on his neck as he looked into the eyes of the person who had given it to him. 

'I apologize for that.' Even said kindly, his voice tender. 

He came closer to Isak, the smaller boy's body gravitating involuntarily towards the vampire, Even lifting his hand slowly, as if he were going to touch Isak's face, before lowering it abruptly without any contact being made. Isak flinched. 

'Are you alright?' The vampire asked gently, backing away slightly from a clearly overwhelmed Isak. 

The younger boy blinked, becoming lost in Even's liquid blue eyes. 

'No.' Isak murmured quietly. 

Evens face twisted in distress. 

'Did he hurt you?' His eyes were filled with concern, surveying Isak's body as he moved closer again to assess him. 

Isak shuffled from the wall and took a few frantic steps back into the alleyway, putting distance between them. 

'You're scared of me.' The vampire said in a quiet, sombre tone. 

It wasn't a question. 

The truth was, despite his better judgement, Isak was not scared of Even. He was scared of himself and how he felt when the other boy touched him, scared of how much he _wanted_ to be touched. Even looked down, his features cast with vague dejection. 

'You don't have to be scared.' Even said finally, his eyes rising to meet Isak's slowly. 

The younger boy let out a scoff. 

'What do you mean? I think... I think I have every fucking reason to be scared of you.' Isak snapped, Even smiling, taken aback by the sudden assertion in the small boy's voice. 

'I mean, you bit me. You bit me and st-started drinking my blood and you nearly fucking _killed_ me.' Isak could barely believe that it had happened himself. 

_Why was he still standing there? Why hadn't he ran for his life? What was wrong with him?_ Even let out a chuckle, amused at the frustration apparent on Isak's face. 

'You're laughing!?' The smaller boy hissed in disbelief. 'You're actually laughing!?' 

'You're so stressed out, it's quite endearing.' Even murmured between laughs, looking at the human with enamoured, babying eyes. 

Isak's features lit up with rage. 

'Endearing? Is this a joke to you?' Isak paused, all of the anxiety that had been manifesting within him for the past week bubbling to the surface. 'Am I... Am I going to turn into a vampire?' Isak asked in a low, hesitant voice, terrified of what the answer might be. 

Even laughed even louder at is, throwing back his head a little beaming at the utterly confused and unimpressed boy in front of him. 

'No.' He said with a chuckle, turning from the blonde teenager and approaching the corpse in the middle of the alley, crouching again beside it. 'No, Isak, you aren't going to turn into a vampire.' 

Isak exhaled, it felt like he had been holding his breath all week and that oxygen had finally returned to his tired lungs. He watched, suddenly horrified, as Even lifted the mangled remains of the middle-aged man by the leg, hurling the dead body off from the ground. 

'W-what are you doing?' Isak asked timorously. 

'I'm going to dispose of the body.' Even answered, in a matter-of-fact tone. 'Do you think I'm going to leave a mutilated corpse just laying around in the middle of Oslo?' 

Isak blinked. 

'Oh. Yeah.' 

The vampire gave him a warm, closed-lipped smile, his expression indicating that he found Isak's occasional stupidity quite charming. He released another musical chuckle before turning and beginning to walk towards the back of the alleyway, dragging the battered corpse effortlessly behind him. Isak felt hysteria rise in his chest. _Would this be the last time he ever saw him?_

‘Wait!' Isak blurted out, stepping forward as he did. 

The vampire stopped in his tracks, turning slightly, almost hidden completely by the dimness of the lane. 

'I- I didn’t-’ Isak stammered bashfully, playing with his hands. ‘I didn't thank you.' 

'For what?' Even asked in a low, soft voice. Isak swallowed. 

'For... For saving me.’ Isak murmured, his eyes watering a little as he thought about the attacker’s brutalizing hands, about what might have happened if Even had not been there to stop it. 'Thank you.' 

The vampire turned completely to him, his eyes shining amongst the shadows he was bound to. He opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something, but decided against it. Instead, he gave a small, cordial nod before turning and disappearing into the blackness of the alley. 

*** 

Once home safely, Isak was so utterly drained by the tumultuous proceedings of the night that all he could do was crawl into bed, wrap himself tightly under the covers and let sleep take him. His sleep, however, did not last very long, a soft clattering at his window causing Isak to be pulled from unconsciousness in the middle of the night. Isak begrudgingly sat up from the warm comfort of his bed, his golden hair a mess as he pushed the heavy duvet from his body, a slight feeling of unease setting in. It was cold in the room, which was odd, as Eskild - who had a low tolerance to the cold and any discomfort in general - usually kept the flat’s central heating on all night long. Isak turned on his lamp and slowly made his way to the window, trying to stay calm as paranoia took hold of his thoughts. 

_The window was open._

Too tired to wholeheartedly process this, Isak told himself that he must have opened it for whatever reason and forgotten to close it before he went to bed. He promptly shut it, locking it for good measure and not allowing himself to think of the many distressing alternative reasons as to why it had been ajar, turning once again to get settled for sleep. 

He was just getting comfortable, curling to his side and pulling the blankets to his neck when he noticed a foreign piece of paper on his side table. 

_What the hell was that?_

His hand reached to switch on his lamp yet again, the teenager sitting up tensely and unfolding the small sheet of notebook paper in his hands. Perplexed by what he was seeing, Isak squinted, making out the image that had been scribbled there. A small drawing of a boy in a snapback, standing adjacent to a taller boy had been rendered on the paper in pen. Isak felt himself smirk when he recognized the figures as crude depictions of himself and _Even._ The illustrator had accompanied his scrawlings with speech bubbles and Isak felt that familiar warmth in his chest as he read the words that had been printed within them. Isak’s said; **Thanks for saving me** , the caricature of Even replying; **Anytime.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "One's eyes adjust to the darkness" - Hannibal, 2001


	4. "Let lips do what hands do"

History was Isak's least favorite subject. He sat by himself in the back of the classroom, almost falling asleep from utter fatigue, his grey hood drawn over his head, a few of his blonde curls escaping and falling in a soft tangle over his smooth forehead. It wasn't just the lesson that was making him tired - no. Isak hadn't slept properly in over five days. Not since Friday night, that was, not since he had been attacked and rescued. Not since the vampire had broken into his bedroom to leave him what Isak secretly liked to consider a love note. 

The problem with it all was that Isak was not losing sleep due to distress. Isak was losing sleep because every night, he would sit by his open window, looking out into the darkness, hoping and waiting. Why he did this? He wasn't sure. He should have been terrified the night he got the drawing, he should have felt violated and scared at the realization that this monster - this enigmatic, violent being whose true intentions where still completely ambiguous - knew where he lived. He should have felt paranoid, knowing that at any giving time, the creature could be hiding in the shadows, watching him, stalking him in the night, standing over him as he slept. But he wasn't. In all actuality, Isak Valtersen had never felt safer in his life. _He was really, truly, fucked in the head._

*** 

When Isak got home from school that afternoon he walked swiftly past Noora and Eskild, who were bickering quite bitterly in the kitchen about fishcakes, _of all things_ , before locking himself in his room. He did this most nights, isolated himself. He had been avoiding others long before he had been bitten, long before he knew of the existence of vampires. The teenager had always had secrets to hide, in some way or another. He pushed away everyone that tried to reach him, pushed away Eskild and his intrusive yet well-meaning questions, pushed away both of his parents, ignoring his mother's religious ramblings and his father’s consistent dinner invitations, he pushed away Jonas, his best friend. He kept pushing and pushing at everyone, all so no one could come close enough to see him for what he really was, close enough to see the cracks. It was a wonder, really, that Isak did not want to push away Even. In fact, although he would never have admitted, Isak wanted Even closer. Even, the dark angel, the unearthly being who symbolized a fluorescent-lit escape from Isak's dreary, colorless existence. Even, who had kissed him, drawing the truth from Isak's lips. Even, who in that moment, even if it were only for a second, made Isak accept who he was and how he felt. So Isak waited for darkness to fall, only half-watching a few episodes of Narcos on Netflix, moving to his window once the light of day had completely diminished and opening the latch. 

Isak stared into the abyss of the evening, the light of the distant moon caressing the dew-coated leaves of the tree outside of his window, the cold air crawling into his bedroom and making him shiver. _Another night_ , Isak thought, spent waiting for an unknowable boy that was never going to come, waiting for a spark amongst the dull black. He leaned out, his hands gripping the window sill, jumping slightly in his place when he heard a low rustling of leaves in the darkness. 

'E-even?' He stammered quietly into the night, almost in a whisper, feeling stupid as soon as he let the name slide from his lips. 

_What was he doing?_

'Even?' He repeated, a little louder this time, calling out for the vampire with whom he was infatuated. 

Silence ensued. 

He felt pathetic. 

Standing there for a moment longer, grappling with one last strand of hope, Isak sighed dejectedly and turned back to his bed, falling on his stomach onto the mattress, burying his face in his pillow and letting out a small dissatisfied huff. 

_Maybe he would just go to sleep early that night, in order to avoid the existential despair._

'You called?' 

Isak jolted as he heard the velvet-soft voice from behind him, the rapidity of the bodily movement causing him to tumble off of his bed and fall with a loud bump onto the hard wood floor. As he scrambled up, blushing scarlet, his blonde hair ruffled, Isak could see Even sitting casually at his windowsill, leaning against its frame, shaking a little with laughter as he watched the younger boy get to his feet. 

He looked as beautiful as ever, the vampire, his pale skin slightly flushed, his light golden hair swept off his face, his countenance brightened by a grin. Isak was completely lost for words. 

'Y-you came.' Isak murmured lowly, sitting down awkwardly at the end of his bed, scared to approach Even, afraid that he was just a figment of his imagination and would disappear with a puff of smoke at any moment’s notice. 

'Well, not yet.' Even muttered with a small chuckle. 

Isak blinked, bewildered. 

'What?' 

'God Isak.' Even replied clicking his tongue. 'I try to make a dirty joke and you don't even get it. You're humorless, really.' The vampire beamed at the confused human boy. 'Sometimes I wonder why I like you.' 

The blush on Isak's face reddened even further. 

'Y-you like me?' Isak asked quietly, his little heart skipping a beat. 

Even looked off, out into the night, as if the question required deep consideration. 

'Yes... I suppose so.' He murmured finally. 

His piercing blue eyes bore into Isak, who was looking intently at his own knees, trying to avoid the gaze. 

'I- I got your drawing.' Isak muttered shyly, playing with the drawstring of his hoodie in an attempt to look occupied. 

'You did?' Even's eyes became expectant. 

'Y-yes. It was nice.' Isak paused for a second, frowning. 'I mean the home invasion part wasn't- but the drawing was-' 

‘Why did you call for me, Isak?' Even shot abruptly. Isak flinched at this, not quite knowing the answer himself. 

'I'm not sure.' Isak replied quietly, and it was the truth. 

Isak couldn't remember ever _really_ knowing what he was doing or why he was doing it, not in all of his life. 

'Come sit by the window with me.' Even ordered softly after a moment of silence, and as if being pulled by invisible strings, drawing him to the bewitching young man, Isak got up from the bed and seated himself adjacent to the vampire at the windowsill, continuing to dodge even a second of eye contact. 

'Tell me, Isak.’ Even began. ‘What do you like to listen to, when you listen to music?' 

_What an unexpectedly mundane question._

‘I don't know.' Isak began, taken aback. 'I- I'm a pretty big N.W.A fan.' 

Even nodded, raising his eyebrows slightly. 

'So you like 90's hip hop, that kind of stuff?' 

'Yeah.' Isak was surprised that Even knew what that was. 

'I mean, N.W.A are decent, but pretty mediocre when it comes to the hip hop genre as a whole. Have you listened to Nas?' Even was smirking, knowing by Isak's slightly blank facial expression that he had not. 

'Nas? Um... Yeah, I've heard them.' Isak muttered, lying. 

'You mean _him._ It's one guy.' Even shook his head. 'Amateur.' 

'Whatever.' Isak said with dignity. 'Why do you listen to rap music anyway? Don't vampires only listen to like, classical music. Vincent Van Gogh or some shit.' 

Manic laughter began to erupt from Evens chest, his eyes turning into little crescent moons. Isak's brow furrowed in confusion. 

'First of all' Even says between chuckles. 'Vincent Van Gogh was a painter-' 

'Oh.' Isak mumbled in embarrassment. _Fuck._

'Secondly-' Even continued, happy to sever the teenagers wounded ego even further. 'Don't you think assuming that all vampires listen to classical music is a bit of a superficial generalization? I mean, Jesus Isak, humorless and uncultured-' 

'Whatever.' Isak dismissed the amused vampire haughtily. 'At least I'm not a cliché-' 

'A cliché?' Even's eyes blazed. 'Who are you calling a cliché?' 

'You.' Isak said, his green eyes finally meeting Even's challengingly. 'I mean, you're basically Edward Cullen, except blonde-' 

Even cut him off, deeply offended. 

'Do not _ever_ compare me to _Edward Cullen._ ' 

'What?' Isak said with a wide, toothy smile, chuckling at Even's displeased expression. 'There are many parallels between you and Edward Cullen. You're both irritatingly broody and illusive. You're both like, professional-level stalkers, you're both attractive-' 

'You think I'm attractive?' Even teased, raising his eyebrows at the blushing boy. 

'Y-yeah' Isak stammered, before back-tracking. 'Uh, if you like that sort of thing.' 

'What sort of thing?' 

'I don't know. Lanky, effeminate, freakishly tall.' Isak grinned cheekily. 

Evens eyes narrowed, his expression facetiously wounded. 

'Fuck you, Isak. You are not nice.' The vampire paused, smirking. 'I should have killed you when I had the chance.' 

Although it was a joke, the comment felt like a slap to Isak's senses and snapped him abruptly out of his state of giddiness. A silence extended between them. 

'Why...' Isak started, his voice low and hesitant. 

He stopped himself. 

'Yes?' Even asked, his tone becoming serious. 

He looked at the smaller boy with careful and restrained eyes. 

'W-why didn't you?' Isak asked in a small voice, eyes lifting to Even and down to his own lap in one weary flutter. 

'Why didn't I kill you?' Even's voice was objective, void of all emotion. 

'Yeah.' 

Even shifted forward from where he leaned, migrating slowly to the center of the windowpane, his cool blue eyes unusually warm, soaking up every drop of Isak, whose own eyes had reverted back to being plastered towards the ground. 

'I'm not sure.' Even murmured, his voice strangely tender considering the casual nature of the words. 

He continued to inch towards Isak who, without even realizing it, was drifting closer to the vampire in return. The boy didn't dare look up as Even's face came about a foot away from his, words starting to spill from the adolescent's mouth as he tried to breathe amongst the thick, overriding tension. 

'Thanks, I guess... For not killing me.' Even laughed lightly, cautiously removing another few inches from the space between them. 

'I mean... Not that I need to thank you... You... Uh... You shouldn't have bitten me in the first place... But-' 

Even's nose brushed Isak's, softly, tentatively, as if he was wordlessly asking for permission. Isak kept his eyes down, his dark eyelashes touching the tops of his cheekbones, the adolescent turning into the embrace all the same. They sat there, both frozen in time for an elongated moment, cheek against cheek, Isak's heart clambering within him, heat in his chest, palms sweaty. 

The kiss was like a breath of fresh air, Even's soft lips meeting Isak's, almost chastely at first, pecking him gently, before moving with more insistence, prying Isak's hesitant mouth open and tasting him. The human boy's head spun as the vampire’s cold hands flew to Isak's face, pulling him in gently to kiss him deeper. The kiss was not like their first, which, although passionate, made Isak feel as if he was being claimed, devoured. This kiss was different. It made Isak's heart tremble, it made him see stars behind his closed lids, it made the younger boy feel as if he were dreaming. And just as suddenly as it happened, it was over, Even pulling his lips away, pressing his nose softly against the human's, gazing at him adoringly. 

'I have to go.' He whispered, so quietly that Isak almost missed it. 

And with that, the beautiful creature was opening the window and sliding down and out of it, a light thud sounding as he reached the grass covered ground below. Isak peered out after him, barely having recovered from their embrace, watching as the vampire vanished seamlessly into the nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Let lips do what hands do"  
> \- Romeo + Juliet, 1996


	5. "I see you shiver with antici...pation"

Isak tried to avoid Eskild's knowing glances as he completed his designated flat chores, deftly swishing the dishes around in warm, soapy water as his older roommate watched over him, leaning against the kitchen counter, a small and mischievous smile playing on his lips. 

'You're quite chipper today, aren't you Isak?' Eskild observed, smirking. 

'What?' Isak asked, grimacing at him. ‘What do you mean, chipper?' 

'I mean that you're unusually cheery, you've got a spring in your step, you're bright-eyed and bushy tailed. All that.' 

Isak frowned. 

'Um... I'm acting the same way I always do-' 

'No you aren't.’ Eskild snapped. ‘You've been in a good mood for days. You're usually sour and grumpy and just, really lazy. It's honestly a bit of a buzz kill sometimes.' 

The teenager scowled. 

'But lately, my cherub, you've been such a delight. Greeting us in the mornings, doing your chores on time, dancing a little whenever I play Britney Spears-' 

'I would _never_ dance to Britney Spears.’ The teenager asserted. 

'Sure.’ Eskild muttered, raising his eyebrows and dismissing him. ‘Yesterday I was playing Hit Me Baby One More Time while you were making toast and you _definitely_ swayed your hips a little-' 

'Look Eskild, I don't know why you’re analyzing me- I’m not acting any differently than I normally would-' 

'Have you found yourself a girlfriend?' Eskild asked pryingly, his eyes becoming intense with the desire for gossip, his entire face lighting up. 

'What? No! No I haven't found myself a girlfriend.' Isak snapped. It certainly wasn't a lie. 

'You're in a lovesick haze. I can see it in your eyes.’ He winked. ‘I know that look all too well.' 

Eskild smiled teasingly at the younger boy and attempted to knock his shoulder, Isak avoiding the contact as a wild and disheveled Linn stormed into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Her red hair was a mess around her face, sticking up a little, giving her an almost savage appearance. 

She exhaled sharply. 

'Where is my leftover pizza, Eskild.' She said between clenched teeth. 

Eskild fidgeted slightly and looked down at the floor. Linn grunted. 

'God! That was supposed to be my lunch! You're so _fucking selfish!_ ' She spat at him, unadulterated rage taking over her face. 

'She's right.' Noora chimed in, calling out from another room. 

'I swear to god, Eskild-' Linn glowered, looking as if she was going to lunge at him. 

'Look, Linn, I will order you another pizza tonight’ He stuck out his hands in defense. ‘Just chill okay?' 

'Don't tell me to chill! Are you _seriously_ telling me to chill?!' Eskild jerked back, frightened of Linn and her female wrath. 

'This is what you get, Eskild, when you steal other people’s food!' Noora's voice shouted out again from wherever she was in the flat. 

Having finished the dishes, Isak saw this as his opportunity to leave the kitchen, happy to be saved from Eskild and his unwanted questioning. 

The truth was, Isak Valtersen _was_ in a lovesick haze. 

Even had been visiting the teenager in the night for the past several evenings, ever since Isak had called for him, and the boy’s heart, as a result, was in a constant state of fluttering. Nothing typically riveting transpired between the vampire and the human during their nights together; they played video games, listened to Nas' entire discography, discussed irrelevant, trivial things like illuminati conspiracy theories and Nicholas Cage's acting career, stole a few kisses under the cover of darkness. It was all so _ordinary_ , just like any blossoming teenage liaison, the same moments of awkwardness, the same shuffling of clothing and eager, sweet kisses, the same bashful flirting. Neither of them even mentioned vampirism, Isak hesitant to ask questions and Even hesitant to answer them. They simply just enjoyed each other’s company. 

An unusual hunger, however, had been gradually growing within Isak. 

Every time the older boy got close to him - fingers grazing his cheeks, his strong arms pulling him nearer, his commanding mouth opening him up - Isak was taken over by a deep itch, a profound desire, a force that caused a twang in the pit of his stomach that was almost _painful._

Even, for whatever reason, never fully indulged this yearning and always ended up pulling away, running a hand gently through the smaller boys hair and whispering a sweet nothing into his ear before exiting the window and vanishing into the night, leaving Isak all hot and bothered and alone. 

_And it just wasn’t fair._

Isak thought of this injustice as he sat by his open window that evening, watching the stars, the little points of light in the velvet blue sky, waiting for Even, for his prince of darkness. 

*** 

It didn't take very long for Isak to find himself in Even's arms, the two a tangle of bodies on the window sill, Even rested against the frame as the younger boy sat in his lap, straddling him, their chests pressing together as they kissed. Even's hands were at Isak's waist, clutching at his hoodie, taking fistfuls of the fabric and guiding the teenagers body against his, Isak's fingers knotting in the vampire's silken gold hair as his hips ground into the boy beneath him. The human's skin stung with heat, prickling as Even moved one hand to take hold of his jaw, his tongue pushing deep into the teenager's soft and needy mouth, causing Isak to moan with want. _More, more, more_. Isak shuddered as a deep, smouldering desire possessed him, the younger boy pressing himself down on where Even was beginning to harden, grinding rhythmically against him, cursing the clothing that sat as a barrier between their sweltering bodies. The vampire growled and roughly took a hold of Isak's hips, pushing him further onto his hardness, the human dually aroused, consumed by the fire of lust, his lips wandering across Even's jaw and down his neck, soft whimpers and gasps escaping him between the kisses. It was all too much, the sensation, the boy feeling as if he might explode. He panted as his hand mindlessly wandered down Even's body, fingertips lingering boldly at the waistband of his pants, when the vampire suddenly shifted, becoming unresponsive beneath him. 

Isak wavered, confused. 

'Isak...' Even sighed, moving the boys hand and lifting the teenager a little so he was no longer pushed down against his erection. 

'What?' Isak asked breathily, his voice fretful, trying to kiss the vampire once more, only to be hastily dodged. 

'We... We can't.' Even said simply, his head leaning back against the window frame, his face plagued. 

'But- w-why-' Isak whined, not even trying to conceal how much he _wanted it._ He was, after all, a hormonal adolescent. 

Evens eyes softened on the pouting boy in front of him, lifting his hand to the human’s face and running a thumb over his lower lip. 

'It’s not that I don't want to...' Even murmured carefully, reassuring Isak who had become immediately taken by the acidity of rejection. 'It's just that you're a human... and I might lose control and... accidentally kill you.' 

Isak froze. 

_'Oh.'_

Awkwardly moving from Even's lap, the teenage boy was filled with a feeling of sinking disappointment as he sat down beside the vampire, his heart plummeting in his chest. 

For the first time in Isak's life, the boy had found someone that he loved touching, someone who seemed to love touching him just as much in return. Yet here they were, unable to go any further sexually than a bit of rampant dry-humping without Isak's life being at high risk. _What kind of infernal torture was this?_

Isak had never believed in a God above for good reason. 

'Don't look so upset about it.' Even murmured, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on Isak's temple. 

Isak shuddered, blushing pink. 

'I'm not. It's fine.' Isak sighed shakily. 'It's totally fine.' 

'You should go to bed. Isak.' Even said finally, his cool blue eyes drifting out the window and into the unmoving night. 'Get some sleep.' 

'I'm not tired.' Isak muttered sulkily, looking at his knees. 

And suddenly the smaller boy was being wrenched from the window sill, Even standing and scooping a struggling Isak up in his arms and cradling him to his chest, one arm under the bend of the teenager’s knees and the other supporting his back, carrying him as if he were a small child. Isak did _not_ like this. 

'Hey!' He squealed, thrashing a little in Even's hold. 'Don't manhandle me!' 

Even’s arms stayed resilient and unshaken around him, the vampire taking the impudent boy to his bed and placing him carefully on the mattress, ignoring Isak's small protests and pulling the blankets over his body, tucking him in. 

'You have school tomorrow. Sleep.' Isak frowned, trying not to physically show how he internally melted as Even ducked to sweep Isak's fringe off his forehead and kiss him softly at his hairline. 

'Who are you? My father?' Isak complained under the touch, Even pulling the duvet up to his chin. 

'First you won't fuck me and now you're putting me to bed.' Isak went on, the vampire ignoring his words and looking over the human with immeasurable affection, delicately stroking smaller boy’s cheek. Isak pretended he didn't _love _the feeling.__

 _ _'This is just patronizing.' He muttered tiredly in revolt.__

 _ _

Even laughed his beautiful laugh and lowered his head to press his lips to Isak's tenderly, hovering there, nose against nose, forehead rested against forehead, hearts aching. 

'God, you're so beautiful, Isak.' Even whispered, their lips colliding for one more kiss, harder, this time. 

'Tease.' Isak murmured, contemptuously rolling his eyes at the vampire in front of him.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I see you shiver with antici...pation"  
> \- The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 1975


	6. "I want the fairytale"

'She wants my dick.' Magnus announced proudly, as Isak and his friends sat at their usual spot in the cafeteria. 

Magnus had been going on about hooking up with Vilde for the past twenty minutes and the concentration of the rest of the boy's at the table was beginning to wear thin. 

'She wants my dick and I'm going to give it to her.' He went on, taking an enthusiastic bite of the bread roll he was eating, oblivious to his friends' distinct lack of interest. 

'Dude.' Jonas began, shaking his head, his thick, dark curls bouncing slightly as he did this. 'You keep saying you’re gonna fuck her but nothing ever happens. Like, no offense man, but no one’s going anywhere near your dick until you up your game.' 

This pulled a small snicker from Isak, who had been concentrating on his phone, scrolling through the series of texts his mother had sent him, not actually reading them, just looking at the words as if they were nothing but meaningless shapes until a lump had formed in his throat. He swallowed it down. 

'Its true.' Mahdi agreed. 'Like, you have no chill.' 

'I have plenty of chill.' Magnus shot back, however his face was filled with doubt. He looked at Isak with a childish hope in his eyes. 'I have chill, right Isak?' 

Isak shrugged. 'I don't know, man.' He muttered, trying, for once, to spare his clueless friend's feelings. 

'You just come across as a bit desperate sometimes.' Jonas said bluntly. 

'Desperate?' Magnus repeated, obviously stung. 

'Yeah man, you gotta learn play it cool.' Mahdi added. 'Like Isak. Isak has mad game.' 

'Not lately.' Isak muttered bitterly, reflecting on the multitudinous times Even had rejected his advances. 

He knew that the vampire had good reason not to accommodate his desires but it didn't mean it didn't bother him. It bothered him immensely. 

'That’s just because you haven't been coming out with us.' Jonas retorted. 'It’s been like, weeks man.' 

'I told you, I have a lot of homework. I'm trying to maintain a six in biology.' Isak lied smoothly. 

'Nerd.' Jonas muttered, rolling his eyes. 

Isak didn't need to try at all to maintain a six in biology or any subject for that matter. He was just one of those kids that effortlessly rode the school curriculum. It was all he had to say for himself, really. 

If only his friends knew the truth, if only they knew that instead of going to parties or studying or doing anything typical of a teenage boy, Isak spent his Friday nights trying- to no avail- to get into the pants of a male vampire. 

_What the fuck was his life._

'This Friday.' Magnus said after a moment of silence, out of nowhere, nodding his head as he spoke, his shaggy blonde hair flopping over one of his eyes. 'This Friday I'm gonna woo Vilde. This Friday is gonna be my night.' 

'Yeah. Sure it is.' Mahdi said, voice thick with sarcasm, the rest of the boys peppering an overconfident Magnus with little sniggers of discouragement. 

*** 

After much prodding from Jonas and the boys, Isak had reluctantly agreed to go out with them that Friday. The arrangements had been made at the start of the week, however, as the night neared; Isak was becoming more and more hesitant to give up his valuable time with Even, the untouchable vampire that haunted his daydreams. Isak could only ever see the phantasmagorical boy once the darkness of night fell, Even having explained to him that any exposure to direct sunlight would result in the vampire's instantaneous death. And although the creature had gotten into the habit of visiting Isak every night, their time together never felt like quite enough. Isak couldn't get enough of the taller boy with the soft blue eyes and sharp wit, his blurred edges and sweet lips, his romantic whispers and wide, pointed-teethed smile. Isak didn't think would _ever_ get enough. 

So when Jonas texted Isak that Friday afternoon to ask him to purchase beer for the pregame, the teenager speedily backed out of the entire thing all together, quickly devising a deceitful response. 

**Hey Jonas. Sorry. I can't do tonight. I forgot that I have to go to a family gathering.**

It was a pathetic excuse, even for Isak, but it was the only reason the teenager could come up with that would justify him cancelling the plans as last minute as he had. So once again, Isak found himself doing what he was always doing the second the sun went down. Waiting besides the window, looking out into the black night, letting the cold wind pour on his face. Waiting. Waiting for Even. 

Except that night, Even didn't come at his usual time. 

Doubt plagued Isak's insecure conscience as an hour rolled by, then two. 

Never, not even once, had Even been even a minute late to visit him. 

_Had he disappeared forever, faded into the darkness from which he was born? Had he forgotten about Isak?_

The teenager couldn't bear the rapidity of his irrational, weak-minded thoughts, his figurative heart weighted down with dread as he wrapped himself in a thick hoodie and woolen blankets, trying to calm himself into sleep, trying to lessen the dull aching in his chest. 

*** 

Isak awoke in the night to the light pressure of lips on his face. First at his jaw, working up to his cheek, then softly, feather soft, on the tip of his nose, grazing against his forehead and then pressing chastely at his Cupid's bow. Isak nuzzled himself further into the pillow beneath him, relaxing under the affection, happy to slip back into the serenity of unconsciousness, lulled back to sleep by both the comfort of his bed and the light and tepid kisses. 

'Isak.' Even's hushed voice sounded amidst the silence, like a lullaby to Isak in his half-sentient state. 'Wake up, Juliet.' 

Isak groaned an unintelligible protest, the older boy running a cold hand through the human's hair, pulling it gently in order to rouse him. 

'Wake up.' The vampire repeated, softly shaking at Isak's shoulder and planting another kiss at his temple. 

Isak's eyes fluttered open at this, looking at the taller boy in sleepy confusion. Relief washed through his system. _He hadn't been forgotten._

'Even...' Isak whispered coarsely, reaching for any part of the boy, finding his hand and clutching it. 

The vampire beamed, his beautiful features possessing an unusual air of excitement. 

'Finally! He's awake!' Even announced to no one, pulling himself from Isak's weak grip and jumping up hurriedly from where he had knelt at Isak's bedside, hastily dashing to the closet and wrenching it open. 'We're going out.' 

Isak closed his green eyes tiredly and rolled onto his stomach, pressing his face directly into his cushion and letting out a whine. It wasn't that he was bothered by Even's presence, no, there wasn't a single part of him could ever be _bothered_ by the older boy’s company. He was just happy in the warmth of his bed and wanted the vampire in there with him. 

'Come on, baby, I want to take you somewhere.' Even crooned as Isak heard the clanking of metal coat hangers. 

Isak switched his lamp on and sat up slowing, his eyes slitted, adjusting to the light as he leisurely stretched his limbs, only to have a shirt, jacket and pair of jeans lobbed at his face in a rapid procession. 

'Get dressed.' Even ordered, Isak coming to an unsteady stand and beginning to take off his hoodie, a little self-consciously at first. 

The vampire watched him unashamedly as he changed, soaking in the human's undressed form, his pale, lightly muscular torso, his elegant clavicle. Isak was fidgeted awkwardly under the hungry eyes. 

'What time is it?' The smaller boy asked once he was dressed, scanning the floor for his shoes. 

'It’s only 11:30.' Even replied, recovering a pair of sneakers from the end Isak's bed and handing them to him. 

'Oh.' Isak said, he thought it had been much later. 'Where are we going?' 

Even smiled widely, teeth glinting. 'I thought I'd take you on a date.' 

'A date?' Isak scrunched his face. 

'Yes.' Even reiterated. 'A date.' 

*** 

Even and Isak stood in a small cue in the foyer of the independent movie theatre to which the vampire had half-carried, half-dragged the sleep-deprived teenager. It was an old building, probably dating back to the early nineteenth century. The décor held a gothic influence, the floors a polished slate, wine colored, crushed velvet curtains hanging from wide, stain-glass windows, the ceiling and walls adorned with ornate baroque castings and golden sconces that produced a dim, red-tinted glow. An opulent chandelier hung from the center of the darkened room, the crystals catching dull light and reflecting a pale gleam on everything below, the theater possessing a distinct yet attractive eeriness. 

Isak was incredibly drowsy, his human need for sleep overtaking him and causing him to lean subconsciously into Even, who was buzzing with energy, his eyes wide and filled with delight, an arm wrapped around the smaller boys lower back, pulling him close to his side. The few hipster-type individuals that were also gathered for the midnight viewing of the 1935 horror classic 'The Bride of Frankenstein,' stole glances at the two physically affectionate boys, and oddly enough, Isak was not concerned about it at all. Isak, who had denied himself the truth so ardently that it almost killed him, Isak, who had shamed himself into living a lie. He even let the vampire kiss him softly, right there under the chandelier, Isak kissing him back, unbothered, unafraid. 

With Even, the human could be himself. There was something about the older boy that made him feel fearless, impermeable. Even didn't care who looked or who sniggered or who patronizingly whispered _'How cute'_ as they exchanged public intimacy. Even acted as if it were only him and Isak in the whole wide world. 

And a lot of the time, it felt like it was. 

The vampire grinned widely at the lady selling tickets as they approached the box office. His arm was still affixed around Isak, and after engaging in a few words of charmingly enthusiastic small talk with the woman, he kissed Isak on the side of his face right in front of her, leaning over counter as if to let her in on a secret. 

'This is my boyfriend.' He announced proudly, his smile so bright it put the sunlight to shame, Isak's face turning red as he let out a involuntary giggle. 

Isak's mind was stuck on the word. _Boyfriend._

He did not mind at all how that sounded. 

Even then brought his arm up around the human’s shoulders, hugging him close and bringing up a hand to stroke his jaw. 

Isn't he beautiful?' Even murmured, a dreamy quality manifesting in his eyes which he kept steadily on the boy in front on him. 'My beautiful.' 

Isak looked down bashfully, blushing harder. He felt drunk, wavering under Even's loving gaze, lost in those irises, those bottomless orbs of blue that spoke wordlessly to him, drawing him in further and further. 

The woman behind the desk nodded politely and handed them their tickets, Even looping his fingers with Isak's as they walked into the dark, vaguely ominous theatre. 

*** 

Isak was too delirious with want of sleep to really know what was going on in the film. There were monsters and a lot of murder, that much the teenager observed, but he wasn't really paying attention to the movie. His head was rested on Even's shoulder as he leaned over the armrest between them, his eyes fixed on the side of the vampire’s face. He watched, enthralled, as the older boy lit up at the film before him, warmth, excitement, sadness, terror- all of it, morphing into the foundations of his perfect face. His eyes darted across the screen, taking everything in, his attention only being cut every now and again when he leaned down to kiss Isak's hair. Even's pure love of cinema was unspeakably endearing to the human, the vampire noticing the boy's unfettered fascination with him halfway through the narrative. He placed a long finger under Isak's chin, pushing his face so it was facing the screen, only to have the teenager stubbornly push back, eyeing him rebelliously. 

'Watch the film.' He said firmly in a whisper. 'It’s a classic.' 

'You’re a classic.' Isak rebutted with a grin, Even smiling at this, eyes breaking concentration and looking down at the human. 

'Wow, Isak, you're so smooth.' He muttered sarcastically, shaking his head before reverting his attention back to the film. 

'I actually am smooth.' Isak retorted, gaze unwavering. 'I’m the fucking master of being smooth.' 

'Sure.' Even rolled his eyes playfully. 'Watch the movie, Isak.' 

Isak didn't watch the movie. 

Between the extreme exhaustion and Even's distracting face, Isak’s mind was far too clouded for him to focus on anything at all. So instead, he let himself drift off into a light sleep, snuggling into the crook of Even's neck, the vampire snaking an arm around the boy, his fingers lacing in Isak's blonde locks, playing soothingly with the curls as the boy rested. 

When the film had come to an end, Isak was woken by a gentle nudge and a kiss on the bridge of his nose, Even helping the human to his feet and walking him out of the theatre. 

Once out in the biting night air, Even took a hold of Isak's hand, swinging it slightly as they walked through the street and he told the human in a high, agitated register, all about the cultural background of the film they just watched that Isak had already forgotten the name of. He just followed the crescendo and decrescendo of Even's velvety voice, woozy from sleeplessness and the feeling of soft-winged butterflies interspersing within his stomach, happy to be there, under the ethereal glow of the streetlights, hand in hand with the boy he adored. Everything felt perfect - the vampire twirling the human suddenly to give him a small peck - that was, until Isak heard a familiar voice calling his name. 

'Isak...?' The teenager froze in his place, turning rigidly, letting go on Even's hand and shoving both of his the pockets of his jacket, eyes widening in sheer terror as he looked into the eyes of Magnus, Mahdi and finally Jonas, the one who had addressed him. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

Isak felt his face heat, a shot of panic pulsating through his entire frame. 

_It was over. It was all over._

He felt as if all the air had been kicked out of him. 

The boys' eyes looked at Isak for a long moment, each of their gazes gradually drifting to Even in almost flawless synchronization, the vampire staring back at them, eyebrows raised, expression challenging. 

Isak could hear his heart beating in his ears. 

He gulped. He wanted death. 

'W-what are you guys doing here?' Isak asked finally, a deep anxiety prevalent in his voice. 

'We just came back from Emma's party. She lives around the corner.' Jonas muttered, blinking and gesturing down the street, the brown haired boy being the only member of the group that was able or willing to talk. 

Mahdi looked at his phone, his expression slightly confused but mostly apathetic, while Magnus stood, mouth hanging open, wide eyes gaping at Even, glued in an almost enchanted manner to the handsome vampire. 

'I thought you said you were going to a family gathering.' Jonas added finally, after a long painful stare-down between the group of boys and the couple. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

'Uh-um.' Isak stammered, nausea flushing through him. 'Y-yeah. I- I just got back from it.' 

_Who the fuck was he trying to fool? The boys had probably seen everything, seen the soft kisses, the hand-holding..._

Isak suddenly felt naked, the rampant uncovering of his deepest secret making him want to vomit. He tried to scramble for words, but couldn't find any. His world was crashing down around him. 

'Who is he?' Magnus asked suddenly, rather impolitely, pointing a shaking finger at Even who responded with a wide almost menacing smile that caused each of the boys to instinctively step back, subconsciously fearful. 

'Uh-.' Isak mumbled, looking at the ground. He wanted to dissappear, to just vanish into thin air. 

'I'm his cousin.' Even shot out of nowhere, almost jokingly, trying to suppress the small laugh that was escaping his lips. 

Isak's eyes narrowed at the vampire. _He wasn't helping._

'But...' Jonas began, stopping himself and nodding, his eyes on Isak who was steadily avoiding the concerned gaze of his best friend. 

'You guys were just like... kissing.' Magnus interposed in a quiet voice, Jonas glaring at him, all of Isak's worst nightmares confirmed and playing out before him, his head circling. 

'Um... I've gotta go.' Isak said abruptly, turning expeditiously to cross the road, half-running to the other side of the street, leaving his friends standing there, not even looking out for his own safety he did this, his vision becoming tunnelled, the boy trying desperately to get air in and out of his faltering lungs. 

Even followed him, careful not to overwhelm the already panicked boy, staying a few paces behind. 

'I mean... We always knew his family was fucked up... But not _that fucked up _.' Isak heard Magnus say lowly, this the last he heard from the boys as he stormed out of sight, walking down a random darkened alleyway before dropping hard to his knees on the cold cement ground and dry retching, gasping for air.__

 _ _'Hey...' Even cooed, kneeling beside him and taking both of the younger boy’s hands in his.__

 _ _

Isak looked at the vampire in terror, trying to communicate to Even with his eyes the great difficulty it was taking him to breathe. 

'You're okay, baby, you're okay.' Even murmured, squeezing Isak's hands as tears began to spill from the teenager's eyes. 

'Just inhale-' Even breathed in deeply, showing Isak the pace at which he should be taking in air. 'And exhale.' 

Isak mimicked Even, following the vampire's breathing exercise for a few moments, this calming him slightly, the older boy’s fingers brushing under the human’s eyes, trying to dry the tears there. 

After his breathing was regulated, Even pressed his forehead against Isak's, playing with his fingers as he spoke. 

'What was that all about?' He asked calmly, Isak sniffling. 

'I-' the slight, trembling boy began, stopping short. 

'Those were your school friends?' Even guessed, lifting one of Isak's hands to his lips to kiss it gently. 

'They d-don't know.' The teenager snivelled, dry sobs still tearing from his chest, 'No one knows... Except you...' 

'That you're gay?' Even deducted, smoothing back some of Isak's hair which had fallen in his eyes, becoming wet with tears. 

'I’m not gay.' Isak retorted, almost as if the response had been set on automatic. 

'Okay.' The vampire allowed, nodding carefully, a cold thumb touching at Isak's chin. 

'Well... maybe.’ Isak inhaled sharply ‘Maybe I'm a little gay.' The smaller boy admitted, looking down. 'But I never wanted them to know- they'll, they'll think I'm a freak-' 

'You aren't a freak, Isak.' Even told him firmly. 'And from the looks on their faces they just seemed concerned about you. Well, the one with the, uh, prominent eyebrows did, at least-' 

'Yeah. Jonas.' Isak murmured, the name coming off his tongue with an echo of tenderness. Of course, he had no romantic feelings left for Jonas, his childhood infatuation a thing of the past, but he loved the boy dearly, all the same. He missed him. 

'He's your best friend?' Even asked softly. 

'Yeah.' 

The vampire leaned in, kissing Isak's forehead and pulling the shaking boy into his strong arms, sheltering the human in an accepting, warm embrace. 

'He won't care.' Even whispered into Isak's hair. 'He will love you all the same and he won't give a shit.' 

'I just d-don't know.' Isak admitted vulnerably, burying his face into Even's chest, breathing in his sweet scent, his voice breaking. 

'He'll accept you.' The evangelical creature went on. 'He'll love you no matter what. I mean- who could stop themselves?' 

'Who could stop themselves from what?' Isak asked feebly. 

'Who could stop themselves from loving you.' 

Isak pulled back from the embrace to look at that angelic face, into those large, bright blue eyes. 

'Thank you, Even.' He whispered, his voice ragged and low, after a long moment of heartfelt eye contact. 

'I thought I already told you.' The vampire murmured, placing the palm of his cold hand on Isak's cheek. 'Anytime.'

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I want the fairytale"  
> \- Pretty Woman, 1990


	7. "My love, my dark angel..."

The smell of Even lingered on Isak's pillow as he awoke. After the teenager's panic attack the night before, the vampire had stayed with Isak for hours, hushing him, holding him in the gloom, soothing him into unconsciousness. The human had slept with the creature, in the most innocent sense of the phrase, pressed to Even's ribcage, listening to the vampire’s evenly paced breathing as he descended into slumber. There was distinct emptiness to the bed, now, that older boy was gone, gone with the sunlight, to return later, once again, with the darkness. 

Isak sat up with a start as he heard a light knock at his door. 

'Come in.' He muttered groggily, rubbing his eyes with fisted hands. 

'Good morning, Sunshine.' Eskild's voice rang high as he opened the door slightly, half stepping into Isak's room with his usual cheery countenance. 

'It’s almost noon. You've slept all day.' He commented, sounding much like a parent. 

Isak gave his roommate a dismissive little nod, subtly prompting him to leave. 

'Anyway...' Eskild continued, oblivious. 'Jonas is here.' 

The blonde's eyes widened, a sudden panic, a whisper of the hysteria from the night earlier washing over him. 

_Why..._

'N-no.' The teenager said abruptly. 'Tell him I'm not home-' 

'Eh... It's too late for that.' Eskild shrugged, opening the bedroom door wider to reveal that Jonas had been standing next to him, the best friends' expression open, green eyes untroubled, wearing his usual yellow beanie and a navy blue coat. 

Isak's heart quickened, out of pure anxiety. 

_Why was he here?_

Eskild sensed the tension between them and shifted awkwardly, eyes darting to and from each of the boys. 

'Well... I'll leave you kids to it.' He said with a sharp nod, brushing past Jonas and disappearing into the hallway. 

The brown haired boy stood there in the doorway for a moment, almost cautiously, before entering the room, shutting the door behind him. 

'Isak-' 

'Jonas-' 

The two teenagers said each other's names in almost perfect unison and despite the tense atmosphere, a brief bout of laughter escaped from both of them respectively, Jonas' face suddenly turning seriously. 

'Look Isak, I came to check up on you after you ran off last night-' Isak was still clutching to the last strands of his lies, which were unraveling rapidly in his fingers, falling apart and turning to nothing. 

'It’s not what it looked like-' he tried to say, which wasn't at all true. 

_It was exactly what it looked like._

'Isak.' Jonas began, sympathetically, walking over to Isak's bed and sitting down on the end of it, leaving space between himself and the blonde but establishing a sense of physical comradery between them. 

'We all know that guy was _not_ your cousin.' 

Isak swallowed dryly, looking into his best friend's oceanic eyes. He didn't know how, but he was suddenly calm, the panic slowly beginning to flee his body. There was nothing on Jonas' face that denoted disgust, no, only gentle, measured concern. 

'No one cares, man.' He continued, looking Isak right in the eyes in order to add weight to his words. ' _I_ don't care, _Mahdi_ doesn't care. Magnus only cares because he actually believed the whole cousin comment and now thinks you're into incest.' 

'Oh.' Isak said with a small smirk. 

'Yeah. You better clear that up, dude.' Jonas said, chuckling lightly. 

Isak played with the edge of his duvet, looking down at it intently in his hands, a little shell-shocked and lost for words. _What had ever made him think that Jonas would react badly to this? Jonas was literally the coolest person Isak knew._

'I- I'm not gay-' he found himself muttering again. 

_It was beginning to feel like his catch phrase._

Jonas smiled and nodded amicably. 

'No. You just like that guy. No labels needed, bro. You like him. Simple.' 

'Yeah.' Isak murmured. 

_How on earth had he gotten so lucky._

Isak felt as if he had been carrying fifty kilograms of dead weight around with him ever since he reached sexual maturity, Jonas unloading a good majority of that suffocating load with his accepting words. Isak felt as inexplicably light as a feather, relief gracing his long-suffering soul. 

_He was accepted._

'So.' Jonas began, an inquisitive look taking his rustic features. 'Tell me about this stud that you've been skipping all our pregames and parties to hang out with? What's his name?' 

'Even.' Isak mumbled breathily, just saying the name causing the boy's heart to flutter. _He was such a goner._

'Even.' Jonas repeated, nodding. 'Pretty, uh- pretty handsome guy you got there.' 

'What?' Isak asked with a stunned laugh. 

'It's true!' Jonas exclaimed defensively. 'Just cause I'm straight doesn't mean I can't appreciate masculine beauty when I see it.' 

Isak giggled at this. It was true, Even was undeniably breathtaking. 

'Is he treating you right?' Jonas asked, raising his eyebrows expectantly. 

'Yes. He's almost perfect, really.' Isak said, _apart from the whole vampire thing._

Isak's mind began to wander, his brain overflowing with Even and his _blue eyes and liquid voice and warm touch..._

'Well that's good. Cause if he fucks with you I'll kick his ass.' Jonas said self-assuredly. 

Isak laughed even harder at this, touched by his friend's protective stance but also finding comedy in the thought of Jonas even _attempting_ to take the superhuman vampire down. 

'He looks a little older and I've never seen him at any of the gatherings. He's not in high school anymore, right?' Jonas inquired curiously. 

'Yeah, he isn't.' Isak avowed. 

'How'd you guys meet?' The thick-browed boy wondered aloud. 

'It’s a complicated story, man.' Was all Isak said, not even wanting to _start_ to get into the gnarly details of his and Even's origins. His attempted murder, the stalking... 

'Hey Isak?' Jonas murmured after a long moment. 

'Yeah?' 

'I got the new Call of Duty yesterday. You wanna come round and give it a go?' 

Isak felt his heart light up. He nodded eagerly. 

'Absolutely.' The blonde boy replied, content to hang out with his best friend, just like the old times, for the rest of the day. 

*** 

Isak got home that night with a lightness in his heart that he hadn't felt since he was a child. He sauntered past Eskild, Noora and Linn with a wholehearted smile on his face, his roommates huddled around the television in the living room, intently watching 'Notting Hill,' and exchanging lust-filled comments on the incomparable beauty of young Hugh Grant. 

When Isak opened his bedroom door and switched on the light, the teenager jumped in alarm, staggering and tripping quite noisily, nearly falling backwards as he found that Even was already there, waiting for him, sitting cross-legged on his bed and playing thoughtlessly with one of the boy's snapbacks. 

'You okay, Isak?' Eskild called out from the lounge room - his voice tear-filled, presumably due the dramatic conventions of the romantic comedy he and the girls were watching. 

The vampire smirked, chuckling. 

'Yep!' Isak shouted in response. 

Isak was not okay. Even had crawled from the bed, winding his fingers in the front belt loops of the teenagers jeans, pulling the human's body to his and giving him a passionate, open mouthed kiss. Burning heat surged through Isak's torso. 

'Hello, Isak.' Even said in a whisper against his mouth, pulling back and looking at him fondly, eyes sparkling. 

'Hi.' Isak murmured bashfully. 

'How was your day?' Even purred, gently pinching Isak's cheek, much to teenagers dismay. 

'It was great.' Isak began, smiling widely, pleased with his good news. 'Jonas came over and then I went to his to play video games. He was like- well, he was really just amazing about everything. You were right. He didn't care.' 

Even smiled back at the human, warmth playing on his typically cool features. 

'I told you.' Another kiss followed, this one brief, chaste. 

'I'm proud of you.' The vampire said, taking the Isak's face in both of his cold hands and brushing their noses together softly. 'Anyway.' He started, keeping their close proximity, his voice dropping and becoming solemn. 'I'm glad you're dressed. I want to take you out again.' 

Isak frowned. Sure, a part of him liked Even's spontaneous behavior and all that, but the teenager was a typically lethargic individual and would've preferred just to chill and make-out on his bed. Possibly more. 

'Don’t tell me you're taking me to see another film.' He whined, only half-joking. 'I mean, the thought was nice and I enjoyed spending time with you, but I barely remember what that movie was about.' 

Even shook his head disapprovingly. 

'Uncultured.' Even said, touching Isak's nose with his forefinger. 'But don't worry; I'm not taking you to see another film.’ 

'Okay.' Isak murmured hesitantly. 'Where, then?' 

'Just give your roommates some excuse for leaving and meet me outside.' Even muttered, pecking Isak quickly before turning, crossing the room and exiting the window within a matter of seconds. 

Isak shrugged and turned to stumble to his door. In all honesty, he'd probably follow Even into the depths of hell if he asked him to. 

*** 

Isak had not anticipated this. The icy air whipped at his face as he looked on confusedly at cemetery gates, which had been bolted shut for the night, the metal bars appearing black in the darkness, a light glow of moonlight cast on the detained grey headstones beyond, which seemed to almost glimmer in the ubiquitous gloom. Isak frowned, turning to Even who was smiling up elatedly at the crescent moon in the sky. 

'Well. We’re at a cemetery.' Isak stated flatly. 

He was cold and tired and he wanted to go home, but he couldn't help himself from feeling giddy in the vampire's presence, regardless of his vast discomfort. 

'You have amazing observational skills.' Even said with a laugh. 'Come on.' 

Isak watched, scrunching his forehead, as Even strolled forward through the grass, taking a hold of the high gate and beginning to climb it, lifting himself with precise ease. 

'What are do- are you allowed to do that?' Isak stammered. _Was Even expecting him to be able to climb that fence as well? Isak could barely do a push up._

'Of course not.' Even laughed, reaching the top of the fencing and peering down at the boy with a smile. 

From where he was, it looked like he could have touched the moon. 

'I'm a ninety-four year old vampire.' He continued, beginning to lower himself down the other side of the gate. 'Do you think I give a fuck about rules?' 

'You're ninety-four?' Isak asked absently. 

Even got to the ground with effortless grace, standing and looking at Isak expectantly through the bars. 'Are you coming?' 

'Uh-.' Isak looked at the fence with a doubtful expression. 

'I can come back over and carry you, if you like.' Even said with a belittling snicker. 

'Fuck you.' Isak mumbled, placing an unsteady foot at the first vertical bar of the gate, gripping it with two hands and trying to push himself up, only to trip backwards into wet grass. 

Even chuckled. 

'Shut up.' Isak glowered at him, attempting to climb yet again and making _some_ progress. 'You are a vampire. Of course it's easy for you. You have increased agility and strength. It's an unfair, biological advantage.' 

'Oh please, I've seen little girls climb better.' The vampire laughed again, Isak looking down at him in mock-contempt as he got halfway up the gate, wavering slightly. 

Even's smile lit up the whole graveyard, in the human's eyes. 

Isak, after a good ten minutes of struggle and Even’s mean-spirited laughter, finally got to the top of the gate, coming to a stop once he was up there, uncomfortably straddling the cold metal bar beneath him. He looked at Even and then at the far ground next to him. His head spun. 

The boy just sat there, frozen in place, beginning to pant, sweaty hands grasping the fence for dear life. 

'Even...' Isak began shamefully. 

The vampire below began to indiscreetly roar even harder laughter. 

'It’s not funny. I'm really scared.' Isak grumbled, his green eyes burning with embarrassment and rage. 

'Are you stuck, dear?' Even said between his maniacal laughs. 

'Honestly, you are such an asshole.' Isak scowled, trying not to look down. 

'Jump.' Even ordered suddenly, voice amused. 

'What?' Isak let himself look down and regretted it immediately, nausea hitting him. 'I am _not_ jumping.' 

'Jump.' Even repeated. 'I'll catch you.' 

Isak tried to keep his eyes at the treetops across the cemetery, shaking his head rampantly. 

'What if you don't and I like, break my neck and die.' The teenager asked in a panic. 

'Isak.' Even murmured, voice becoming serious. 'I would never let that happen to you. Trust me. Jump.' 

Hesitantly, Isak re-positioned himself on the top of the fence in a state of abject terror, fidgeting awkwardly, his sweaty palms slipping, the boy letting out an involuntary _'Fuck'_ as he closed his eyes tightly and pushed himself off of the top of the gate. Adrenaline ran through his system as he fell, quickly coming to a soft landing in Even's awaiting arms, gasping heavily from fright. He gripped onto the vampire, his own arms flung around the taller boy’s shoulders, clutching him. He could feel Even laughing in his ear. 

'Idiot.' He murmured, lowering the clumsy boy and helping him to his unsteady feet. 

'Suck my dick.' Isak muttered bitterly, voice shaken. 

The vampire raised his eyebrows and smirked. 

'What about a thank-you, for not leaving you up there?' Even requested, challengingly. 

Isak stuck his middle finger up at him. 

They wandered around the graveyard leisurely for a long while, hands slipping together, exchanging sweet laughter and playful banter and ignoring the dense ambiance of death in the air. The cemetery _was_ quite a peculiar place for a romantic outing, however, Isak didn't think much about it, as Even was undead and it was moderately on brand. 

The vampire slowed after a while, taking a seat on a wrought-iron bench that stood in a small clearing in the graveyard in which a little garden had been formed, dew-kissed violets and pastel-hued pansies sprouting from the soil of a roughly paved garden bed. Isak joined him, happy to sit, the two shoulder-to-shoulder in complete silence for a moment, letting the sobriety of the place take them, Isak lifting his head to look at the glimmering stars. 

'Isak.' Even said breathily. 

'Yes?' Isak answered in barely a whisper, eyes still transfixed on the sky above. 

'It’s so strange.' The creature began, Isak looking at him then, the vampire's features made even more heavenly in the light of the moon, shadows bringing out his sculpted face and full, pink lips. 'I haven't seen a sunrise in seventy-five years...' 

Isak nodded, now aware of the prominent age difference between them. 

'And I've always missed it... The sunrise.' Even murmured quietly, Isak's heart breaking a little at the detectable melancholia in his tone. 'But I don't anymore.' He went on. 

'Because of you.' 

The words hung in the air, like a declaration of love, the younger boy breathing them in. 

Isak wanted to tell the other boy a million things. How Even had saved him both literally and figuratively. How much he meant to him. How beautiful he found him. How much the vampire had changed his life, for the better. But something stopped him, an old plug on his emotions he had installed within himself years ago, that still stopped some things from slipping out, even presently. 

So Isak said nothing and just nodded, looking at his hands. 

_Stupid._

'I know you've been careful not to ask me questions about things, in order to avoid being invasive... and it's very sweet' The creature continued. 'But I want you to know me.' 

He looked at Isak now, intensity in his pale eyes. 

'Ask me.' 

'W-what?' Isak stammered. 

'Anything.' 

Isak furrowed his brow, thinking. 

There were many things he wanted answers to, and many things he just didn't want to know. So he went for an easy one. 

'So...' He began dubiously, 'How does someone actually get turned into a vampire?' 

Even laughed at the question as if it were childish. 

'Like... How... Cause that week I thought I was transforming, I read all these books and everyone's got different opinions about it-' 

'You have to be bitten by a vampire, have their venom enter your bloodstream and then you have to drink _their blood_. It's like an exchange of sorts.' Even said informatively. 

'Oh.' Isak murmured with a nod. 'Yeah, a few people were saying stuff like that.' 

Even smiled at him widely, shaking his head. 

'Also...' Isak went on, the vampire having uprooted his curiosity. 'How old where you when you were transformed?' 

'Nineteen.' 

The human nodded in consideration. 

'So it would have been about-' Isak thought for a brief moment. '1941? When you died, that is.' 

'Yes.' Even said with a smirk. 'Those are some impressively quick math skills you have there.' 

'Well, Even, the thing about me is that I'm much more than just a pretty face.' The human said with a laugh, the vampire playfully scoffing. 

'And, are there lots of other vampires?' Isak continued questioning, face afire with curiosity. ' _Who_ turned you,' 

Even visibly flinched at this question. Isak wondered if he had crossed a line. 

'There are others.' The creature said sullenly, after a moment of silence. 'Not many though.' 

'Oh.' Isak said yet again, looking down, not sure that he was going to get the answer to the second part of his question. 

But the vampire went on, clearing his throat. 

'The woman who turned me, uh-' Even started. 'She did it out of _romantic_ motivations. You see, I was very ill, and I was staying at a-' He thought for a moment, looking out into the dull sea of graves before him, eyes contemplative. 'I was put in a hospital.’ He paused, nodding to himself. ‘I was dying, you could say, and the woman, the vampire, she saved my life.' 

Isak felt a sharp pang of irrational jealousy in the pit of his stomach. 

'And you loved her?' He assumed, judging by the emotional strain in Even's voice. 

The vampire shrugged. 

'I suppose so, I felt love for her, or, what I thought was love, at the time.' 

This put Isak at ease. He wondered wryly if this woman was still around, but chose not to vocalize his interest. 

'What were you dying of?' Isak asked softly. 

'Influenza.' Even said the word cuttingly, as if were a full-stop. 

'You're not that old.’ Isak mumbled, coming to a quiet revelation. ‘Like, you would probably still be alive as a human now…' Isak paused. 'I mean, surely, you have some family left.' 

'No.' Even frowned, shaking his head, his eyes becoming pink and glassy. 'No family left.' 

'And you have no other friends?' Isak didn't know why he was pushing, his soul hurting for the vampire who held all of his affection. 

'No.' Even affirmed in a despondent, dry mutter. 'I am quite profoundly alone in this world.' 

The human shook his head slowly. 

'What’s your full name?' The younger boy asked suddenly, perking up a little. 

'Even Bech Næsheim.' The vampire murmured. 

Isak turned his whole body to look at Even with intense, watery eyes, one hand lifting to cup the side vampire’s soft face, the older boy turning his cheek to fill the embrace. 

'Well, Even Bech Næsheim.' Isak started, a new air of authority in his voice. 'That is a ridiculous thing to say. _You are not alone._ You have me.' 

And suddenly Isak felt like he had gotten the message across, like he had properly communicated to the vampire just how important he was to him. Even's face became flooded with what Isak could only read as unadulterated joy as he, too, took a hold of Isak's face and kissed him hard on the mouth, his tongue parting the teenagers lips, his hands shifting to Isak's curls, knotting in them and pulling slightly as he drew the human closer, kissing him in a way that made the boy see fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "My love, my dark angel..."  
> \- Interview with a Vampire, 1994


	8. "Don't ever invite vampires into your house"

Isak had slept curled into Even's body for a second night in a row, the teenager's consistent attempts to seduce the older boy failing repetitively. Sure, Isak knew it was imprudent to try to become sexually intimate with a vampire, hazardous and possibly life-risking, but there was just something about Even Bech Næsheim that made the human unable to see reason, unable to act on anything but the deep, all-encompassing lust he felt for the sirenic young man that occupied the shadows. 

He tried not to think about this at school that Monday morning, as he walked through the halls with Jonas beside him, his best friend encouraging him to talk through what had happened on Friday with the rest of the boys, Isak reluctantly complying, figuring that he'd have to let Magnus know that Even was _not_ his cousin, sooner or later. 

'So you're just a regular fag? Not, like, an incest fag?' Magnus asked, needing further clarification after Isak had explained the situation to him as the group of boys sat in the cafeteria. 

The word 'fag' bit into Isak a little as he heard it, and although he was aware that to Magnus it was just a harmless colloquialism, it still stung. 

'Dude...' Mahdi muttered, unimpressed at how socially inept their dense but mostly well-meaning friend was. 

Jonas just face-palmed, shooting an apologetic glance at Isak and shaking his head in frustration. 

'What?' Magnus asked as a dumbfounded expression played on his oblivious face. 'I think it's great that Isak is a homo. It means we'll have a better chance at getting some action.' 

'Not likely.' Isak interposed suddenly, a lock of his golden hair falling delicately over his brow as he eyed Magnus mischievously. 'I mean, me being uninterested in girls is not gonna suddenly make _you_ appealing to the opposite sex. We'd need magic for that.' 

Jonas sniggered, Magnus' mouth opening slightly, not expecting such venom from the other blonde teenager. 

'And unfortunately for you, Mags, magic doesn't exist.' Isak said simply with a proud smirk, taking a snide sip of his apple juice and flicking the fringe of his hair from his own face with a high level of dignified sass. 'So I guess you're just doomed to stay a virgin.' 

'Brutal, man.' Jonas exclaimed with a laugh, nudging Isak's shoulder in solidarity. 

Magnus just shook his head, unquestionably offended, taking a humble bite of his salad sandwich, silenced, slowly coming to the realization that he had said something wrong. 

'I'm sorry, bro.' He muttered after an extended moment of silence, in a small voice. 'If you're gay, I am- I'm happy for you.' 

It was genuine. Magnus always had good intentions, after all. 

'Thanks.' Isak said with a tiny smile, vaguely warmed by the fact that even his dumbest, most sheltered friend accepted him for who he was. 

*** 

Isak had managed to avoid Eskild that morning - whose increasingly intrusive questions were becoming unbearable - his older roommate having left early for work. Isak was not as lucky that afternoon however, as he arrived home from school, _I'm a Slave 4 U_ blasting through the kitchen, Eskild re-organising the spice rack and grinding to the beat of the classic Britney Spears track as the blonde boy tried to walk past him, looking down. 

'Isak!' Eskild exclaimed turning to the adolescent with a start. 'What's doing, baby Jesus?' 

'N-nothing.' Isak muttered dismissively, heading for the hallway. 

There was something in Eskild's face, a certain complacency that told Isak that his roommate _knew something_. What exactly that _something_ was, the teenager wasn't sure, and he shook the thought as he retreated to his room, getting settled on his bed and starting up his laptop when he heard a knock at the door. 

'What?' Isak snapped, irritated. 

'Can I come in?' Eskild asked from the other side of the door in a cheerful voice. 

Isak groaned. 

'Fine.' He mumbled, and the door flew open, Eskild entering the room wearing a bright but shrewd smile. 

'What do you want?' Isak demanded, annoyed at his roommate’s elusiveness. 

'Oh, nothing.' Eskild said, daintily taking a seat at the foot of the bed and eyeing Isak carefully. 'Just thought, as your guru, I would offer you some... guru-advising.' 

Isak frowned. 

'Firstly-' The teenager muttered. 'You are _not_ my guru. And-' 

'I met that guy, _Even,_ in the kitchen last night-' 

Isak's breathing hitched, eyes widening, his mind short-circuiting at the thought of the two separate worlds he lived within colliding. The world in which he went to school, washed dishes, cringed through the _Sex and the City_ marathons that his roommates forced him to take part in, crashing violently with the other. The world of darkness, soft moonlight and vampire kisses, the world of graveyards and haunted cinemas and _Even._

Eskild looked at Isak expectantly, waiting patiently for an explanation. 

_Eskild had met Even._

'What the fuck.' Isak omitted involuntarily. 

'Even.' Eskild repeated, confused by the teenager’s response. 'I got up to eat some leftover pizza in the middle of the night and he... He was walking around the flat.' 

The roommate scrunched his face in slight bemusement. 

'I think he was _cleaning_.' 

'Cleaning?' Isak asked in confusion. 

Eskild continued, looking tentatively at Isak with a yielding smile. 

'He said he... He said he was your _boyfriend_ , Isak.' 

The blonde adolescent was too baffled as to why Even would ever choose to leave Isak's room and explore the rest of the apartment to really register his roommate's words. 

Eskild just continued to look at Isak carefully, as if trying to pull the truth out of him gently, his expression encouraging. 

'Uh...' Isak muttered. 

He wasn't scared to come out to Eskild, not at all, not after opening up to Jonas and his friends and especially not since his roommate was a loud and proud homosexual himself. He was just extremely taken aback, astonishment causing him to freeze. 

'H-he _is_ my boyfriend.' The teenager confirmed with a small nod. 

It was weird to think of it like that. 

_Boyfriend._

It seemed like such a casual word for what the vampire meant to him. 

'Ah. Isak, that's- that's fantastic.' Eskild murmured, his smile widening, his face becoming warm with pride for the teenager in front of him. 

Isak grimaced slightly. 

'Y-you're not surprised?' The younger boy asked, convinced, for the most part, that he had done quite a good job as coming off as stereotypically masculine and heterosexual. 

Eskild laughed lightly, insultingly. 

'Isak, the first time I met you, you were in a gay club and didn't have any plans of leaving.' The older boy explained, raising his brows. 

'I told you, I didn't know it was a gay club-' Isak began defensively. 

'Honey, there was a guy standing right next to you in latex, ass-less chaps-' 

'Whatever.' Isak cut him off. _The point was irrelevant_

'Anyway...' Eskild went on. 'About this _Even_ guy... He obviously spent the night...' 

Isak winced. He did not want to be having this conversation with Eskild, of all people. The roommate continued, unfazed by the teenager’s obvious discomfort. 

'- And...I just wanted to make sure that you're making the right choices and being safe...' 

'Eskild.' Isak interrupted; face growing hot and reddening in embarrassment. 'You really don't need to-' 

'No I do.' Eskild affirmed. 'It’s my duty. Both as your guru and also, now, as your gay fairy godmother.' 

Isak sighed heavily. ' _Gay fairy godmother?_ ' 

'Yes, Cinderella.' Eskild said with a grin. 'Here.' 

The roommate handed Isak small grocery bag he had produced from somewhere behind him. 

'What is this?' Isak asked, exploring it’s contents. 

Isak's blush deepened as picked up a small bottle of what he soon realized was lube along with a box of condoms. 

'Ribbed for her pleasure.' Eskild noted with a jokey wink. 

'What the fuck, Eskild.' 

Isak wanted to crawl into a hole and die. 

'Hey, hey... I'm giving you what the school system never gave you in sex-ed. I'm the best gay fairy godmother ever.' 

Isak's eyes stayed glued shamefully to his knees as he hesitantly shoved both the lube and condoms into his top drawer, very well intending to make use of them. He would continue to try, at least. 

'Just make sure he's treating you right, okay?' Eskild instructed, standing up. 

He was leaving. Isak exhaled in relief. 

'He is.' The adolescent muttered, sinking into his hoodie. 

'Don’t say yes to anything you don't want.' The roommate continued. 'Like, don't feel pressured into any asphyxiation or BDSM stuff-' 

'Eskild!' Isak stopped him from going on, almost yelling and shrinking back into his pillows in torment. 

'We haven't even done anything yet.' 

Eskild chuckled at Isak's prudery and made his way for the door, before turning with a nod. 

'So he's a romantic then? Good. I'm so glad we had this talk-' 

'Goodbye Eskild.' Isak muttered, turning his and attention to the Netflix homepage on his computer screen and putting in his earphones in order to pronounce the conversation’s end. 

'Have fun.' His roommate sang in reply with another light laugh as he exited Isak's bedroom, the door closing with a soft thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't ever invite vampires into your house"  
> \- The Lost Boys, 1987


	9. "Listen to them, the children of the night"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ; )

Isak sat in the windowsill staring out into the night, into the boundless abyss. There was once a time in the boy's life in which he had been afraid of the dark, scared of the stillness, the nothingness, the all-consuming sense of inescapable loneliness. He would put on a nightlight, break through the quiet darkness, never having to know of its vacant embrace, never having to face himself and his thoughts. Never having to face his reality. Presently, the boys eyes had adjusted to the shadows, the teenager learning to adore the unknowingness of nightfall and it's gloomy romanticism. But above all other things, Isak Valtersen had learned to love the darkness because when it arrived, so did the vampire, the boy that haunted every facet of Isak's consciousness, the boy with the bright smile that cut through the dark better than any fire or man-made lighting device ever could. 

Even Bech Næsheim. 

He had repeated the full name over and over in the back of his head ever since he had heard it. 

_Even Bech Næsheim._

Isak could hear the soft vibration of his phone from across the room on his bedside table, going off with an influx of texts, texts that the teenager did not have the time or emotional strength to deal with. He stood, hesitantly from the window, taking a few steps in the direction of the phone, meaning to reach it and shut it off, when suddenly, Isak felt strong, familiar hands grasp at his hips, pulling him back, the coldness of the fingers noticeable even through the boy's heavy sweater. 

'Isak.' Even, who had slipped into the room soundlessly, murmured in a breath, the vampire pulling the back of Isak's body tightly against his chest, hands exploring the teenager's waist, his mouth kissing at the tender skin below the human's right earlobe, sucking it lightly between his lips. Isak shuddered, tilting his head back into the embrace and leaning into the vampires shoulder. 

'E-even.' He let out in a whimper, overcome with shock as the creature’s hands slipped from his waist, grasping firmly at the place where Isak was already beginning to harden. 

Although the teenager had always wanted this, the forwardness and dominance of the touch caught him off guard and he broke free from Even's claiming hands, turning to face him in astonishment. 

The vampire's blue eyes were wild, glazed over with what appeared to be hunger and lust, his pale hair tousled and messed, his lips appearing blood-stained, a savage look overpowering his features, his angelic face taking on an unhinged, predatory expression that Isak had never seen before. He looked as beautiful as ever, but twice as terrifying, the human becoming unnerved, heart beating in his throat as Even smiled, baring his teeth and nearing him yet again, taking the boy’s face in his hands, fingers threaded in golden hair, kissing the teenager with burning aggression, tonguing Isak's lips open and biting at him gently, the boy feeling as if he had been set on fire. It wasn't long before Isak's lust outweighed his slight trepidation and he grabbed at the back of vampire's neck, melting into the hard kiss. 

'Even-.' He panted, pulling away for air, the creature's face softening as he leaned in to place small kisses along the side Isak's face, taking a strong hold of the teenager's ass as he did this, making the boy squirm, overwhelmed, as he ground the human's groin against his own. Isak was dry throated, his skin hot and itchy, aching to be soothed. 

'Baby...' Even cooed between blistering kisses, moving them to the foot of bed before pushing Isak down roughly onto his back on the mattress, climbing over him and continuing to taste his sweet mouth, this alone causing the teenager to moan, writhing underneath him. 

'I want you.' The vampire growled in Isak's ear, his voice coarse, the boy mewling softly in delight as Even's hands met the hem of Isak's sweater, sinking underneath it, cold fingers running up the smooth flesh of the humans chest, over his abominable muscles and hardened nipples all the way to his clavicle, Isak shivering, his head buzzing, his body so hot with need and want that he thought he might spontaneously combust. 

'Take me.' Isak whispered softly into Even's mouth. 'Take all of me.' 

This offering - this complete submission - evidently excited the vampire, Even hastily wrenching off Isak's sweater and throwing it on the hard-wood floor, his hands digging into the boys bare sides as he kissed down Isak's torso, the human just about seeing stars as the older boy sucked at his milky skin, starting from his sensitive nipples, right down to his lower stomach, planting searing, wet kisses that made Isak cry in pleasure. It wasn't until Even’s mouth had gotten to the waistband of Isak's sweatpants that the boy's rational side began to have doubts. The human scorned the sensible voice within him that forced him to sit and pull back a little under the vampire's hold, resting on his elbows, his body becoming rigid. 

Even groaned as the boy shifted, his fingers becoming tighter and more possessive at Isak's hips. 

'What?' The creature’s eyes glinted, his tone coming across as unintentionally severe, his expression tenderising as he perceived the wariness on Isak's face. 

'What is it, Isak?' He asked, much softer. 

'Didn’t you say that we couldn't do this because you might kill-' 

Even crawled up Isak's body, meeting his lips with an open-mouthed kiss, pushing the boy back down onto the bed by his shoulders. 

'I would never hurt you.' Even whispered, genuine, liquid warmth mingling with the dangerous lust in his eyes, his forehead resting against the human's. 

'I'll be gentle.' He murmured, kissing Isak's nose softly, before moving to his mouth, his body sliding into place with the boy's, their legs entwining, their erections pressed together. Even took Isak's bottom lip between his teeth, grazing it slightly and drawing a tiny amount of blood, which he ardently licked up. Isak's breath hitched. 

'Well, for the most part.' The vampire added seductively, dragging his lips back down a gasping Isak's torso, kissing the flat plane of his lower stomach and yanking at his sweatpants, sliding them down his legs, planting small kisses at the boy's upper thighs, Even's hot lips feeling as if they were burning holes in Isak's fragile skin. Even pulled off the teenager's pants entirely along with his socks, hovering over Isak, his warm breath at the human's groin, his lips ghosting over the teenager's stiff shaft through his underwear, this causing Isak's body to quiver, his brain clouded, his thoughts on nothing but the nightmarish boy and his perfect mouth. 

'Fuck... Even.' Isak whimpered as the vampire removed the boy's underwear and threw it on the floor with everything else. Even stepped back for a moment, removing his own shirt, standing at the foot of the bed and looking down at the soft and pliable human, naked and trembling. 

'Isak...' He murmured, his starved cerulean eyes eating the boy up. 'You're so beautiful, laid out for me... Fuck.' 

Isak felt every inch of his hypothetical soul turn to flames as Even stared at him with those adoring, hungry eyes, lowering himself onto the bed to place himself between the teenager's legs, Isak's back arching even before any contact was made. Keeping eye contact with the human, the vampire ran his warm tongue over the boy's cock, this alone, enough to throw Isak into hysterics, his breath coming out in strangled gasps and his body quaking as Even took him in his mouth. 

'Even... Even...' Isak moaned quietly, his hands over his own face, as if he was trying to stop himself from screaming or falling completely apart. 

_It was all too much._

The vampire stopped suddenly, quickly shifting to wrench Isak's hands away, pinning them together above his head. 

'I want to see your face.' Even ordered firmly. 'I want you to look at me.' 

A cold shiver ran down Isak's spine. He wasn't entirely sure what he had gotten himself into or if he was going to survive it. Isak watched the creature between slitted eyes, head thrown back in bliss. Even took the boy deeper in his mouth, the teenager jerking, overtaken only by intense gratification. 

'Even.' He panted again, his nails digging into his pillow as he tried to stop himself from crying out. Isak wanted to disappear into the moment, the feeling of Even's mouth, loving him, healing him, his hands touching him like no one had ever before. Even licked all the way down Isak's shaft, past his balls and down to his entrance, this coming as a surprise to the unversed teenager, whose eyes widened in abject shock. 

'Oh- ohhhhh.' Isak let out as he felt Even's warm tongue swirling over the sensitive tissue, the sensation immediately pleasing, sending thrills through his stomach. 

'Do you have anything we can use as lube?' The vampire asked suddenly, becoming practical as he lifted his mouth from Isak's ass. 

'Uh... Th-there's some in the top drawer...' Isak panted, not quite able to look the older boy in the eyes. 

'You're prepared.' Even said with a smirk as he got up, leaving the human on the bed, ruined. 

Isak noticed something that bothered him. 

'It's not at all fair that you still have pants on.' The human muttered in complaint, frowning. 

Even fished the bottle of lubricant from the draw and tossed it at his lover, raising his eyebrows and starting to unbutton his black jeans, removing them and then his black underwear in a quick, graceful fashion, standing before Isak, completely naked, kissed by the light of the moon from the window outside, heartbreakingly gorgeous. 

'That better?' Even asked with smug grin, as he watched the human's eyes wander to his groin, the smaller boy blushing heavily, intimidated. 

'Y-yes.' Isak said shakily. 

Even chuckled darkly and joined the teenager on the bed once more, climbing over him and spreading the boy's legs wide apart, Isak blushing even harder, embarrassed. The vampire squeezed lubricant over the teenager’s entrance, the boy jumping slightly at the cold. Isak whined in pleasure as the vampire's fingers moved to caress his hole, circling and rubbing over the outer tissue. 

'You're perfect.' Even crooned, Isak's form twitching in frustration as the vampire began to ease a single finger inside of the human, looking deep into the hazy eyes of the boy who moaned breathlessly. 

Even leaned in to kiss Isak on the lips once more, soft and wet and loving, tentatively adding a second finger and curling them into him, moving them in and out in a slow and hard rhythm, the teenager letting out a wail. 

'Even-' he gripped the vampire’s shoulders for support as the older boy hit the right spot, causing his form to convulse in euphoria. 

It was a wonder Isak had not came yet. 

'Is that alright, baby?' Even asked, nipping gently at Isak's smooth jaw. 

The boy nodded rampantly, gasping. 

'More... Even...' Even slipped in a third finger, Isak's body growing slightly uncomfortable around the girth. 

He let out a strangled wail, stiffening slightly, the vampire sensing that the sound wasn't entirely out of pleasure. 

'You've never been with a man before, have you?' Even asked softly, kissing at his neck gingerly and applying more lubricant to Isak's entrance to eliminate the discomfort. 

'I've never been with anyone before.' Isak admitted in a breath, cheeks reddening, green eyes looking off shyly, avoiding the intensity of Even's gaze. 

The vampire didn't appear to be surprised, the animalistic expression on his face melting down into sincerity. 

'I'll take care of you.' He murmured tenderly, using the hand that wasn't plunging fingers into Isak's ass to gently stroke the boy's soft hair, his thumb grazing at the hollow of the human's cheek. 

'Just tell me if anything becomes overwhelming, alright?' 

Isak nodded. He wasn't afraid. He wanted Even to take him, ravage him. He hadn't wanted anything more in his entire life. 

Even continued to finger Isak's entrance in an increasingly rapid and hard manner, getting the boy accustomed to sensation of being filled. The teenager went wild under him, chest heaving, shallow breathes escaping his lips, Even knowing exactly where to hit, exactly how to make him lose his mind. 

'I want you inside of me...' Isak whispered, the vampire groaning at the soft desperation in the human's choked voice. 

'Please, Even... Please... Please...' The smaller boy begged sweetly, almost crying for it. 

'Well, since you've asked so nicely...' 

Even pulled his fingers out of the boy, squeezing lube into his hand and moving back, kneeling at the end of the bed and gazing downwardly at Isak, stroking at his own cock as he soaked in the human's flushed face and spread, quivering legs, the vampire's blue eyes devoid of light, carnivorous and appearing almost black in the near darkness, a sharp shot of something like fear and desire combined piercing through Isak's gut. 

'Turn over.' Even ordered in an authoritative tone. 

The younger boy did as he was told, scrambling so he was on his stomach, his face in his pillow, his hands fisted in the sheets beneath him, waiting, heart pounding. 

'Fuck, Isak...' Even murmured from behind him, the teenager shivering as he felt the older boy's soft lips at the dip between his shoulders, the vampire running his unsheathed fangs lightly along the human's spinal cord, Isak letting out a cry of pleasure as Even's venom-coated teeth only slightly broke the surface of his skin, microscopic droplets of blood blooming from the scratches, the vampire licking them clean, his attention shifting towards Isak's full ass, moving to take a handful of the supple flesh, pinching at it roughly, causing the teenager to moan in pained delight. 

'My beautiful boy...' Even murmured as he placed a tender kiss at the base of Isak's spine, the vampire working his way back up the human's body, hovering over him, his chest pressed at Isak's back, positioning his cock at the boy's entrance, the teenager inhaling sharply, his skin tingling all over. 

'Please...' Isak wailed when the vampire didn't immediately enter him. 

'Please Even... I need it...' At that, Even placed his hands over Isak's, intertwining their fingers as he pushed in, Isak's entire body tensing around the size of the vampire's shaft, burning pain but also hot, sweet pleasure rippling through him. 

'Oh...' Isak gasped. 

When the older boy pushed in further, a little too roughly, the pain took over Isak completely, searing through him, the teenager releasing an involuntarily whimper into the pillow, small tears sprouting from his eyes. 

'Are you hurt?' Even groaned as he saw them, his mouth at the back of the boy's neck, kissing and nibbling at his skin. 

'No...' Isak lied in a small, wavering voice, the vampire pulling out of him and placing a hand in Isak's hair, his lips moving to brush the parts of Isak's face that hadn't been shoved into the bedding beneath him. 

'Take a moment, baby.' The creature cooed gently, stroking at the human's blonde curls lovingly. 

Isak's body relaxed under the gentle caresses, the human taking in deep, stabilizing breaths of air. 

'Okay...' He murmured quietly after a quarter of minute. 'I'm ready... Please...' 

Isak didn't need to ask twice as Even applied more lubricant to his cock and repositioned himself at the boy’s entrance, his hand that had only seconds earlier been playing softly with the teenager's hair, turning to a fist in the golden curls, pulling Isak's face off the pillow and bending his neck back a bit as he began fucking the human, pressing his lips to the boy's jaw, his thrusts slow and soft, Isak feeling as if he was being torn open, rapturous chills flooding his body. 

'Even... Even...' Isak purred, arching his back up to take the vampire in further, the older boy beginning to pick up the pace. 

'Fuck, Isak. You feel...so... fucking... good...' Even growled between thrusts, teeth scraping at Isak's neck, along his shoulder, biting down softly at the flesh and making the human cry out in delight. 

Isak's body convulsed as the vampire's venom entered his bloodstream, mind-numbing rapture taking hold as Even's body moved against his, pounding hard into him, Isak's entire form buzzing with intoxicating passion. The vampire grasped Isak by the back of his hair, moving his face so that he could kiss the boy's lips as he fucked his body, his tongue, coated in some of Isak's blood, pushing it's way into the boy’s needy and whining mouth, silencing him, the teenager's vision going white as Even pumped into him so hard that their teeth smashed together while they kissed. 

Isak was only an adolescent and therefore did not have it in him to last much longer, the boy soon wailing as tension gathered within him, his body aching, burning, withering, desperate for release. 

'I'm going to-' Isak breathed beneath Even, almost becoming feverish as the vampire tore himself from the boy, his weight lifting from the teenager. 

'Even...' Isak cried, pushing back on him in protest. 

'Do you really think I'm going to let you come so easily?' The creature muttered cockily, taking a hold of Isak's weak arms and flipping him effortlessly so that he was on his back, facing the vampire. 

Even's face was a sight to behold, his lips reddened from blood and kissing, his blue eyes murderous. 

Isak gulped. 

'Please...please... Evy...' He murmured as the older boy teased him, running the smooth head of his cock over the threshold of the human’s entrance. 

'What do you want?' Even asked with a dark smile, his unsheathed fangs glinting. 

'I want you inside of me...Even...please...' 

After giving the whimpering boy a warm kiss he entered him once again in a painfully slow plunge, pressing his forehead against the human's, the intimacy of their eye-contact heightening the experience. 

'So beautiful...' Even let out breathlessly as he fucked Isak savagely, the human's head leaning back into the pillow with a drunk, heavenly expression on his face, letting out masochistic little moans. 

Even pulled out again and chuckled as Isak's eyes became lit with blind hysteria. 

'No...' The boy sulked, hands flying to the vampire's waist, trying to pull him back in. It was absolute torture. _He loved it._

'So pretty... My boy.' Even murmured as he looked down adoringly at Isak, stroking the boy's wet lips with his thumb, the teenager avoiding his gaze, shy. 

'Please...' Isak cried, the human becoming so distressed with yearning that stinging tears began to burst from his green eyes and roll down his cheeks. 'Please... Even... Please... Please.' 

Even couldn't say no to that. Seeming to take pity on the human, he re-entered him with a hard, rough thrust that caused Isak's teeth to clatter, his arms flying protectively around the human as he fucked him forcefully to climax. 

'Come for me.' 

Isak mewled frantically as orgasm took him, absorbed by Even and the thick fire of pleasure, his thin breaths coming out raspily and his entire body shutting down from the intensity of the mind-altering ecstasy that flooded him, a dry moan escaping his lips as he felt Even's hot cum burst inside of him, burning his insides, sending him into a fit of overwhelming and sweet terror as his nails dug into the vampires back, clawing at him and sobbing into his chest, maddened by what felt like sweet poison surging into his body. 

A blood-curdling screech began to tear from Isak's lips that Even silenced with a strong hand over the boy's mouth, Isak screaming into the vampire's palm as he was pushed down flat against the mattress as the creature rode out the waves of his own orgasm. 

'Isak...' Even moaned into the crook of the human’s neck, breathing coarse, biting down lightly into the boy’s buttery flesh, this reanimating Isak's body, which had gone limp, for one more jolt of burning pleasure, the vampire removing his hand from the adolescent’s lips and kissing him tenderly, Isak tasting his own blood. The two of them just lay there for a moment in residual bliss, pressed to each other for a small eternity. After giving Isak another soft kiss, the human boy relatively unresponsive, Even pulled out and rolled off of the teenager, who was in a completely stunned state of existence, the intensity of the sex in junction with the supernatural thrills that his mortal body was not built for, reducing Isak to a condition of only vague sentience. The post-orgasm calm took him over completely, the human feeling himself dissociate from reality, head spinning, his limbs languid and aching, spent and numb. 

That was until Even, the dark angel to which the Isak would always be drawn, carefully pulled the soft and delicate boy into his arms, pressing him into the warmth of his of skin and wrapping the both of them in the stained sheets, planting the gentlest of kisses to Isak’s forehead, cheek and then mouth, the human tilting his face up tiredly to receive them, Even's fingers tracing small patterns on Isak's back, soothing the skin that he himself had left bitten and bruising. 

' _Lille sol*_.' Even cooed gently, Isak's sleepy, dazed eyes looking up at him though heavy lashes, the vampire tenderly running a finger over one of the human’s perfect eyebrows. 

Isak hummed contently in the vampire’s protective arms, nuzzling his face into Even's bare chest, listening out for a heartbeat that wasn't there and slipping into a peaceful unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Listen to them, the children of the night"  
> \- Dracula, 1931
> 
> *Little Sun


	10. "In heaven, everything is fine"

The boy screamed for his mother from across the water, half consumed by the heavy current, struggling to get air to his faltering lungs. She sat like the Virgin Mary above the water's surface, suspended in the distance, golden-grey hair spilling around her worn, colorless face, her green eyes, the same shade as Isak's, vacant and void and unaware of her drowning son, who thrashed about in the thick and encompassing waters, yelling out endlessly, soundlessly, reaching no one. Isak thought maybe if he could make contact with the woman, if he could get to where she sat on the rocks, he would be able to break her out of her cold unconsciousness, bring her back to the living. But no matter how he tried to swim to her, the slow yet powerful waves kept pushing him back, pushing him back. He would get so close, fingers brushing the stone upon which she was seated, only to be dragged back by the waters, shouting out as it happened, his sharp cries affecting nothing, never touching the woman. It always ended the same, the tides building, something from below taking hold of him and dragging the adolescent under, the boy submitting helplessly to the force, accepting his gradual descent into the deep sea, sinking seven miles under, trapped and left to diminish, sharing a grave with the shipwrecks, vacated eternally in the immeasurable darkness. 

Isak Valtersen awoke in a similar darkness, a cold sweat broken out all over him, his entire body heavy, aching due to the excursions of the night as well as restlessness, the teenager gasping for air, his hands flying to his wet face as he realized he had been crying in his sleep. Desperate to forget the horrific nightmare, the nightmare which had been a constant in Isak's subconscious since he was a child, the human reached out blindly for the other body in his bed, for Even. 

Except Even was not there, Isak's search met by cold emptiness. 

_Had he left?_

An unfathomable feeling of despair manifested itself in the teenager's chest as he shifted to turn in his lamp, unable to lay there alone in the still blackness. The sudden light, while dull, stung Isak's sleep-heavy eyes, the boy squinting across the room as his vision adjusted, relief flooding him as he looked up to find Even, devoid of all clothing, sitting on the ground in a cross-legged position up against the door, hunched over and scribbling something into a notebook with unwavering intensity. His eyes were glazed over and blank and didn't lift even as the light turned on, the vampire's body seeming fidgety, on edge, his entire form moving with every pen stroke. Isak frowned, sitting up slightly and wiping residual tears from his face as he stared at the older boy who hadn't even acknowledged his waking. 

'Even...' Isak murmured, voice breathless. 

The vampire's pale eyes rose only for an instance. He smiled at Isak as their gazes met, a soft, loving smile. 

'Isak.' He said, a vague euphoria gracing his vacant countenance. He looked at the teenager, but didn't really _look_ at him, didn't notice the redness of his eyes or the helpless expression on his face. 

He lowered his head and continued to draw. 

Isak squirmed under the blankets. 

'Even, come back to bed.' Isak asked in a quiet voice, wanting the older boy to encase him in his warm arms and kiss away all of the pain. 

'I can't.' Even murmured, not looking up at the boy. 'Not right now, sweetheart. I'm doing something.' 

Isak's face twisted, pained at the dismissal. Even was never like that. He never refused Isak any attention. _Ever._

'But E-even...' Isak stammered 'Ple-ease.' The smaller boy pleaded, voice breaking, croaky from tears. 

The vampire stopped at this, slapped back into consciousness by the desperation in his lover's plea, eyes suddenly widening as if he'd been woken from a dream. 

He gazed at Isak, intently, concern coloring his slightly crazed eyes as he discarded his notebook with a swift toss before lifting himself from the door against which he was leaning, naked-bodied, kneeling at Isak's bedside first, the humans body going lax in alleviation as the vampire leaned down to smooth back the fringe of the boy's hair. 

'What is it, baby?' He asked softly, kissing Isak's temple, the teenagers eyes fluttering at the gentle touch. 

'C-can you lie with me?' Isak asked sheepishly, fresh tears forming in his eyes, his hand subconsciously taking hold of one of Even's wrists, clutching at it lightly. 'Please...' 

The vampires lips came down on Isak's face with urgency, planting excessive kisses at his forehead, jaw and eyes, sweeping away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. 

'Baby...' Even murmured, slipping into the bed and under the sheets, pulling Isak against his naked body, flesh against flesh, rocking the boy in his arms, a little too rampantly for it to be truly comforting, the teenager nestling into the embrace regardless. 

'Why are you crying, Isak? Is it me? Did I do something?' The vampire asked in a hurried, anxious voice, tearing a clinging Isak from him suddenly and pressing the boy down into the mattress, hovering over him and staring with intensity into the human's bewildered eyes. 

'No, Even-' Isak choked out, his words cut off with a wet, hungry kiss on the mouth. 

'Good.' Even affirmed after pulling away for a small moment, grabbing Isak's face in both hands and continuing to kiss him all over, feverishly. 'You're so precious, Isak, so special. My beautiful boy. I never ever want to hurt you.' He exclaimed in a fast, almost unintelligible voice between kisses. 'I just want to make you laugh and smile. I want to make you feel good.' 

Even's lips flew back to Isak's, becoming more urgent, the vampire's tongue exploring the inside of the boy's yielding mouth, his hands beginning to make their way down Isak's naked form, grasping at his hips, the teenager involuntarily recoiling as the creature grabbed at his tender, bruised and bitten skin. 

'Even.' Isak whimpered into the older boy's demanding lips. 

Isak wanted sex. _Of course he did._ He was a seventeen year old boy, he always wanted sex. However, at present, he was sore all over, physically exhausted and on the verge of tears. 

He pulled back. 

'Even- not right now-' his voice was worn, strangled by a lump that had built in his throat. 

The vampires wandering hands immediately stopped in their tracks. 

'What is it, baby?' Even asked, voice cooling, still unhinged, fingers knotting in the smaller boy's golden hair, yet again, another soft kiss falling on Isak's forehead. 

The vampire's affectionate blue eyes searched the human's face, lit with worry. 

Isak winced as his phone vibrated, breaking out into a light sob as it sounded another three times, trembling under Even's hold. 

'You're phone has been going off all night.' Even muttered, coming down from his hysteria for a moment, his hand absentmindedly caressing Isak's tear-stained cheek. 'Is someone harassing you?' The vampires jaw clenched and he fidgeted, irate. 

'No.' Isak murmured, his body weakening, becoming listless. 'Nothing like that. Its just- it's m-my mother.' 

Even frowned, rolling off of the boy and laying down beside him, turning on his side to gaze at the human, Isak mirroring the vampire, the two looking intently into each other's eyes. 

'You've never spoken to me about your mother before.' Even said simply, reaching over to play with a small curl at Isak's cheek. 

'I never speak to anyone about my mother.' Isak responded solemnly, green eyes welling up. 

'You can talk to me, Isak.' Even informed the boy softly, leaning in to brush his lips to Isak's nose. 'You can tell me anything.' 

Isak shook his head. Even's wild eyes becoming tame, trained on the boy. 

'Talk to me, Isak. Then I can help you feel better. I just want you to feel better.' His voice was soft, feather soft, his expression, although denoting instability, resoundingly warm. 

Isak felt his heart twinge. 

The boy inched towards the vampire, timidly, pressing himself into Even, the creature obliging immediately and winding his arms around the human, holding him tight, so tight that it hurt Isak's bruised skin, so tight that he found it difficult to breathe. Isak didn't care. He felt loved. 

The vampire kissed the boy on the crown of his head as he held him close. 

'My love.' Even murmured in a half-whisper. 

For whatever reason, even after all that had transpired between them, the words caused Isak to blush. 

'It's just all so fucked up.' The human mumbled into the vampires chest, referring to the situation with his mother. 

He didn't know why he'd brought it up, he had meant to avoid the subject and the unwanted emotions it uprooted. Maybe deep down, Isak thought, he wanted to tell Even. He wanted to be naked for the vampire in every sense of the word. He wanted to be stripped down to his weakest, broken in pieces so that Even could be the one to gather him up and hold him together. 

He felt pathetic. 

'I've seen, heard and _done_ a lot of very fucked up things.' Even started in a low voice. Isak tried not to think too much about the gravity of the vampire's words. 'So I think I can handle whatever it is that's troubling you... And I hate to see you cry, baby, you should only ever be happy, I wish I could make you happy all the time.' 

Even rubbed Isak's aching back, his body feeling as if it were perpetually buzzing, the vampire's form shaky, high-strung. 

'I don't know...' Isak murmured, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, trying to deny himself any further tears. 'My mother, she's- she's fucking crazy. 

Even's fidgeting ceased, as if some kind of switch had been flicked within him, the creature pulling back slightly to look Isak in the eyes. 

'What do you mean, _crazy_?' 

'Like, she lives in her own world. She's completely fucked in the head. She thinks Jesus is going to come back and send all the sinners to hell- she thinks Armageddon is upon us and sends me, like, passages from the bible every fucking day and I can't- I can't deal with it-' 

Isak stopped himself short. He was crying, acidity in his words. The boy knew he shouldn't, but a part of him really hated his mother. He hated her for switching off and neglecting him and unintentionally terrorizing him. He hated her for driving his father away. Even if none of it was really her fault, Isak couldn't help but hate her a little. 

'Woah.' The vampire whispered, his hold on the human loosening significantly, an esoteric sadness gracing his soft eyes. 'So she's not in your life? You've cut off all contact?' 

'Yeah.' Isak omitted, guilt weighing down his voice. 'I mean, I left her alone- after my dad fucked off. I- I didn't want to... But I couldn't- I just couldn't-' the smaller boy became asphyxiated by emotion, his delicate frame shaking against he vampire. 

'You couldn't...?' Even prompted, eyes blazing, trying to read Isak. 

The human inhaled, steadying himself. 

'I couldn't, I couldn't just sit and watch her mind... _disintegrate_ like that.' Isak's voice was barely above a whisper. 

He was revealing to Even the most vulnerable part of himself, the little boy within him that just wanted a _normal_ mother, a mother that didn't anticipate the end of the world, one that read school reports and held concentration and didn't spend days at a time cleaning the same thing over and over, a mother who didn't speak of monsters and figures and voices that just weren't there. 

The vampire swallowed audibly. 

'She just- it got to the point that she was unreachable.' Isak continued, trembling. 'She could be really fun sometimes, so happy about everything, laughing constantly. She'd take me to random places in the middle of the night and she'd buy useless shit and- and I guess, in a fucked up way, those were some good times, but-' 

Isak flinched, feeling as if he was going to drown in his own rapidly spilling tears if he went on any further. 

'But?' Even prompted, a hand on Isak's face, an expression of unexplained dread playing in the creature's pulchritudinous features. 

'But... But she would always snap.' Isak muttered, his breathing becoming increasingly unmanageable. 'She would snap and she would just start saying the most deranged shit, like, that I was going to hell, that we were all going to hell and that she could hear the fucking devil talking to her... But that wasn't even the worst part...' Isak was far gone now, tears erupting uncontrollably from him, all the pain and hurt and sorrow spilling from him in an influx. 

The vampire, visually stagnated by Isak's words, took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly, indicating the creature's great uneasiness. 

'W-what was the worst part?' Even asked the boy hesitantly, wincing slightly. 

'The worse part-' Isak muttered tearfully. 'Is that after the extreme happiness and then the snapping, she would just disappear all together... She would just... She'd look right through me, some days she wouldn't even know who I was... That hurt the most... I think, yeah... That hurt the most...' 

The boy sobbed quietly in Even's faltering hold, the internal anguish becoming external, stinging his eyes on it's way out. It felt good to cry, in a way, Isak giving into the tears and just letting them take him. 

Silence stretched on, Isak's cries becoming lessened by his soft descent into sleep, shuffling into Even who had come to lay on his back, body tense. 

'Anyway.' Isak murmured, in the thick haze of sleepiness. 'I'm glad I don't have to see my mother anymore. My life is definitely better off without people like her in it.' 

'Mmm.' The vampire replied, almost coldly, letting Isak bury himself into his side but not making any attempts to put his arms around the boy. 

Only when Isak was on the threshold of sleep, did Even pull the adolescent closer, gently hugging the teenager to him, the human limp within his hold. 

'I'm so sorry, Isak.' Even whispered in the gloom, voice low and painted with sorrow. 'I love you.' 

The vampire had thought Isak was asleep, he had thought that the boy hadn't heard the words, the profession of adoration, almost inaudible, as soft as the clouds. 

But Isak had heard. He had heard the admission and even in his daze, his heart ached in response. The boy wanted desperately to be able to find the volume to reply. He wanted to tell Even the truth, to tell him he loved him in return. 

But he couldn't. That old psychological stop setting in, Isak freezing up. So instead of admitting that he loved Even back, the one truth Isak had come to know, the boy merely pretended to be asleep, curling into the twitchy, physically agitated vampire beneath him, nestling into to the older boy that unknowingly and inexorably owned his figurative heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "In heaven, everything is fine"  
> \- Eraserhead, 1977


	11. "A perfect night for mystery and horror"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for for not updating this past week, I have been away from home and staying with friends. I plan to go back to very regular updates, so please comment and let me know if you're interested and would like to see this fic continued. Thank you to everyone who has shown their support, it means a lot to me. <3

The next morning Isak awoke in a world of pain. It wasn't just his stinging, reddened eyes and dull ache that permeated his entire physical form, but also the lack of Even's presence in his bed. Even though the teenager knew it was impossible, a part of him fantasized about a world in which he could wake up in the vampire's arms and open his eyes to that beautiful face, to those sparkling blue irises, lit and illuminated by the morning sun. Instead, all Isak was left with was the creature's sweet residual scent, embedded in both the sheets and in the boy's skin, the purplish blue bruises left by the vampire's unintentionally rough hands, scattered and blossoming along his hips, ribs and waist, a few tender and slightly bloodied bite wounds and a small piece of folded paper on the pillow next to him. Isak shifted, pain shooting up from the base his torso as he did this, his hand reaching for the note undoubtedly left by his undead lover, opening it with subdued eagerness. What he found illustrated there caused his mouth to drop open slightly, the image rendered softly in pen. It was a sketch of Isak, eyes shut, shoulders bare, hair soft and falling around his sleeping face, cross-hatched immaculately on the piece of notebook paper. The way he had been drawn; he looked beautiful. 

Isak knew he wasn't a bad looking guy in general, that much he could gather from the multitudinous young women that consistently became infatuated with him, but he'd never seen himself as _beautiful_ , certainly not in the way Even had depicted him. There was love in the drawing, every tone of shading, every line, every dot indicating that the subject matter was adored by the artist. Isak remembered the vampire's words. 

_I love you._

His heart jolted, a slow lunge in his chest. 

The boy was so enamored by the drawing that he almost neglected to notice the scrawled text that accompanied it, a quotation that Isak assumed to be song lyrics. 

**I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the sun in somebody else's sky, but why, why, why can't it be mine.**

He skimmed over the words, their depth not necessarily sinking in, the boy in a daze, unable to see past his lovesick confusion. 

Isak pulled himself slowly from the tangle of bed sheets, wobbling slightly as he stood, body shaky from soreness. His limbs ached, exerted, his steps labored and difficult. The teenager pulled on some track pants and a high-neck sweater, careful to conceal the teeth marks at his collarbone, before hobbling down the hallway and out into the kitchen. 

Noora stood, making coffee, wearing a pale blue turtleneck tucked into slim-legged, high waisted black jeans, her short white-blonde hair slightly messed around her face, her lips a dark burgundy, the beautiful young woman appearing to be in somewhat of a rush. Linn sat at the small kitchen table in nothing but a hoodie and underwear, lazily eating a piece of toast and staring at Isak with speculative eyes. 

'Wow, man, you looked _fucked_ up.' The redhead said, taking in Isak's decrepit appearance. 

Noora's gaze centered on the teenage boy. 

'Aren't you meant to be at school? It's half past nine.' The blonde girl asked in a parenting voice, eyes softening on the obviously physically run down adolescent. 

Noora was the same age as Isak but she still took on a somewhat governing role when it came to the boy, as taking care of others was simply in her nature. Both her and Eskild were intrinsic nurturers, Isak quite obviously in need of guidance and safekeeping. 

'I-I don't think I'll be going today.' Isak croaked out, voice coarse. 'I'm feeling pretty unwell. I didn't get a lot of sleep.' 

Linn scoffed. 

'Dude, you look like you've done about six hits of meth.' 

Noora sighed sympathetically. 

'I didn't get much sleep either.' She snapped, taking out another coffee cup from one of the high cupboards for Isak, who unsteadily took a seat opposite Linn at the table, the hard wood of the chair uncomfortable against his aching and spent body. 

'Because _somebody_ was up all night having very very loud sex and completely disregarding the fact that the walls are _incredibly_ thin.' Noora's voice rose, indicating that she was accusing Eskild of these disturbances, who was in another room, this denoted by the soft humming of a Beyoncé song in the distance. Isak blushed, heat rushing to his face. 

_That had definitely not been Eskild._

'Who was having very very loud sex?' Eskild called out, waltzing into the kitchen with an enthralled grin, wearing a lady gaga t-shirt and a pair of tiny hot pink boxers that left nothing to the imagination. 

It was Eskild's day off, the young man settled into attire that he always wore when lounging around the house, much to the dismay of his roommates. 

'You.' Noora shot back with acidity, handing Isak the coffee she had made him and crossing her thin arms at her chest, glaring at Eskild whose face was lit with guiltless perplexity. 

'Me?' Eskild exclaimed, offended. 'I didn't have sex with anyone last night, I was doing a deep cleansing face mask and re-watching gossip girl- like seriously, for a long time Blair and Chuck just really couldn't work things ou-' 

'Don't play innocent! We all heard. Poor Isak didn't get any sleep!' She touched the blonde teenager's shoulder lightly, comfortingly, Isak flinched in embarrassment. 'Like, honestly, have some _class_ Eskild, at least put on some music or something to drown it out next time, I could hear like, animalistic groaning-' 

'Th-this coffee is great.' Isak stammered suddenly to cut off her words, choking slightly on his drink, He wanted to disintegrate into his chair. 

'I swear, I didn't-' Eskild started, before his eyes fell on a mortified Isak and a sly smirk took over his face. 'Okay, okay, you got me.' He said suddenly, smile widening as he knowingly eyed the red-faced boy. 'Won't happen again.' 

_Fuck._

Noora rolled her eyes and picked up her handbag from the countertop, ruffling Isak's hair and giving Linn a friendly pat on the shoulder as she left the apartment for work, grumbling about Eskild on the way out. Linn soon retreated to her room, taking the rest of her toast with her, leaving only Eskild and Isak in the kitchen, the older boy leaning against the counter and grinning at the adolescent, almost triumphantly. He shot him a wink. Isak's face fell into his hands. 

'So, animalistic groaning, eh?' Eskild jibed, a strange look of pride taking over his countenance. 

Isak wanted to die. 

'Please, Eskild, don't-' 

'I'm glad to see my guru-advising and gay fairy god-mothering has paid off-' 

'Goodbye, Eskild.' Isak grumbled abruptly, standing suddenly to exit the room, leaving his unfinished coffee on the kitchen table and trying with everything in him not to limp slightly as he did so. 

*** 

The day dragged on and Isak, as always, couldn't scrape the vampire from his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about Even's gentle lips against his, his sharp teeth sinking lovingly into his flesh, the creature's strong hands claiming his hips, his long fingers grazing deep inside of him. 

The boy had loved every second of their intimacy, even when the vampire had accidentally hurt him, pushing in too hard or grappling at him too roughly. Isak loved the pain and the pleasure that the older boy caused him, the smell of his hair and skin and the taste of his tongue. He wanted the older boy to fill his every hole, those of his body as well as those that had been burned into his heart. He wanted Even to pull him in so close that they melded together, becoming one, curing the boy of his inescapable loneliness. It was almost disturbing to Isak, the intensity of the feeling, his chest filled with pressure, like he was going to burst from it, like he might die. 

_Isak loved Even._

And even if he couldn't say it aloud, he couldn't deny it to himself any longer. 

It was all so intense, so strong, so overwhelming and it made Isak feel stupid and weak under it's force. 

The boy sat at his window as he had done so many nights, so many countless times, looking out into the darkness, devoid of all fear, gazing at the splintered moon, searching in the nothingness for a shape or a shadow or any indication of his approaching lover. 

Isak began to grow anxious as the minutes passed, fidgeting with the the hem of his hoodie, yearning for Even and the relief of his touch. 

Minutes slowly morphed into hours. Even didn't come. 

The teenager lost track of how long he sat there at the window, fighting sleep, clutching to hope, his heart sinking deeper and deeper in his chest. It wasn't until dawn approached, the yellow sun kissing the horizon, casting soft lilac and gold light that cut through the darkness, that Isak was forced to accept the unthinkable. 

Dragging his battered and broken form from the window frame that he had almost molded into, the boy drew the blinds down, denying himself the sunrise, shutting out it's spiritual beauty and dropping to his bed, curling in the sheets that still smelt like the boy that had fucked him and then left him. 

Isak cried himself to sleep. 

*** 

Three days passed and Isak barely left his room, the worst heartbreak the boy had ever felt in his life washing over his frail being. Worse than the day he stood, seven years old, scared and crying as his mother scoured the house for the razor blades and knives that her husband had hidden as she let out desperate sobs, his father running after her and swearing at her as she begged and searched listlessly for a way out, dropping to her knees pathetically and clutching to her terrified son, kissing his tears and telling him he was better off without her, that only her death could make him truly happy. 

Worse than what he had felt the day his father finally had enough, the day he left Isak and his mother, the look of pure desolation on her worn-out face, the empty feeling in the boy's stomach, as if he were a fish that had been caught and then gutted, scooped clean of it's entrails. 

He knew that day, far too early on in his life, that he was alone, that everyone was inevitably alone. He knew that there was no mother and no father and no savior for him, that his lifelong sense of security had been nothing but an illusion. Even when Eskild took him in, he still failed to regain that childlike want for other people, for family, untrusting and convinced that his roommate must have had ulterior motives, subscribing to the idea that no one could _truly_ care for him. He promised himself would never love again, that he would never let himself become disillusioned. He cut himself off from his family and Jonas and his truth and his happiness, and he sat in his room and watched Narcos or some other show he didn't even like and just disappeared, letting every facet of himself get sucked up by his thick and unfaltering emotional denial. He became numb. 

That was, until he met Even Bech Næsheim. Even, who drew his emotions from him like blood, who held him close and took him on dates and kissed him so sweetly. Even who shattered the boy's figurative armor, Even who had helped the teenager come to terms with who he was, reconnect with with his friends, become brave enough to love again. Even who had made him smile, actually _smile_ , without feeling an influx of guilt, without wanting to cry a little. Even who had pried him open and then slammed him shut. Even who was gone. 

Isak had failed himself, he had let himself be comforted by an illusory sense of happiness, he had let himself become _weak_. Before Even, Isak had been accustomed to the cold, he was used to it, he could ignore it, he could survive. But when vampire came along and shrouded the boy in care and wrapped him in a metaphorical blanket of warmth, Isak truly realized how terribly cold he had been, how his blood and heart had turned to ice, how frostbite had been eating away at him. But now, the nightmarish boy had left him, waited for him to become helpless under his love and then torn the blanket and the heat it provided from the him, leaving Isak cold again, colder, for having known how it felt to be warm. 

Isak wanted to hate Even, but somehow, he couldn't. 

On the fourth night of the vampire's absence, the teenager didn't even bother with the window, making a point of bolting it shut and drawing the curtains, sinking into his bed, his arms tight and protective around his own chest, as if he was trying to physically keep himself together. 

He slept a light, tear-filled and restless sleep, woken suddenly in the dead of the night by a light clambering sound, the boy, as if electrocuted, sitting up abruptly, something like panic coursing through him. 

'Even?' Isak asked breathily, instantly weakening, ready to forgive the vampire for his sudden depature and pull him into his bed. The boy's heart fluttered. 

All fluttering stopped when he turned on his lamp only to look into the black eyes of the stranger who sat, staring tauntingly back, perched elegantly at the window. 

_A woman._

'W-who the fuck are you?' Isak stammered, scrambling off of his bed and inching towards the door of his bedroom, his body quaking from a fear that turned his blood to ice water. 

The woman smiled, revealing a set of pointed fangs, not dissimilar to Even's, and Isak nearly fainted from the intense terror that coursed through him. 

_This was not good._

She was unmistakably beautiful, the woman, young, her short golden hair falling soft around her striking face, her pale skin glowing, sitting in juxtaposition with her blood-red full lips and dark, deep-set eyes, framed by thick black lashes and soft, delicately sloped eyebrows. She had an almost _kind_ quality to her face, which made her all the more terrifying. Her thin, perfectly proportioned body was sheathed in a white high-necked, long-sleeved dress, that stopped just above her knees, modest but skin-tight, exhibiting perfectly the soft curves of her slight hips. A thick, black, patent leather belt cinched her in further at her tiny waist, the corseted accouterment giving her attire an almost fetishistic element, the sheer black stockings and glossy black thin heels that embellished her legs and feet adding to the aesthetic. 

_She looked like an angel._

 _ _She stood from where she sat, the perfect picture of calm and elegance, making her way to Isak and running her thin, manicured fingers over a few items in his room as she did so, as if she was trying to figure him out, picking up a snapback from his dresser and inspecting it, before tossing it aside with a light scoff.__

 _ _

Her eyes centered intimidatingly on Isak, who could only stare in silence, knowing well that there was no use running or screaming. Her gaze burnt into him. 

Isak wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew, deep within his gut, that this vampire had not come to do him any good. 

His mind flew to his conversation with Even in the graveyard, his thoughts cut off as the young woman suddenly invaded his personal space, backing him into the wall behind him, smiling at him almost maniacally, baring her teeth, titling her head, sizing him up. 

She was the same height as Isak in her heels but the boy felt as if he was at least five feet smaller than her, shrinking back, paralyzed by horror. 

She smelt like roses, roses and blood. 

'Hello, Isak.' She said in a soft, pretty voice, her expression horrifyingly sweet. 

_She knew his name._

Isak gulped. 

She was probably going to kill him, put him out of his misery. He hoped at least she would make it quick. 

'My name is Sonja.' She continued, grinning again as her gentle voice turned to a growl, her hand suddenly grasping Isak by the hair and shoving him brutally into the wall, the boy just about to scream as she held him still and pressed what looked like a small square of fabric over his mouth, muffling his cries. 

Isak's head spun for a long moment, the boy coughing, gasping for breath. 

Then as if the vampire had flicked a switch, everything went black.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A perfect night for mystery and horror"  
> \- Bride of Frankenstein, 1935


	12. "For ever and ever, never growing old"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter contains reference to suicide and mental illness as well as explicit descriptions of violence.

It was cold when Isak came to, the soft patter of rain audible from outside, the thin, oversized shirt and black track pants he had went to bed in doing nothing to shield the boy from the cool, uninviting temperature of the room. As he slowly regained consciousness, the teenager was far too afraid to open his eyes, realizing, with a sinking feeling in his chest that he had been tied to a chair, his wrists manacled in what felt like rope behind him, his ankles secured similarly to the chair's legs, his bare feet touching ice-cold floor beneath him. He shivered, feeling breath on his face, his eyelids involuntarily lifting as he felt the close proximity of another being. 

There she stood, Sonja, the female vampire, ghoulishly striking and craning over Isak, her face inches from his, her expression unimpressed, her black eyes touched by a certain melancholia, glinting angrily. 

The boy tried to avoid making any eye contact with the woman, as looking at her directly caused an icy chill of terror to creep up the adolescent's spine, everything about the vampire from her piercing gaze to her floral scent, utterly unsettling to the teenager. He tried to focus on his surroundings, to make sense of where he was and what was about to be done to him. 

Isak was in the living room of an apartment, a nice apartment, the furniture sleek and modern, the space exhibiting various shades of slate and grey, the couches upholstered in black leather and lined with dark red cushions, a few monotone, impressionistic paintings displayed on the walls, all equally nondescript and dull, the only unique feature within the room being the large, art-deco light fixture that hung directly above the boy, almost like a threat, throwing angular shards of light down on everything in the stylistic yet impersonal living area. 

He pulled his head as far back from the girl as physically possible in his bondage, the vampire only edging closer, irritated. 

'I'm trying to figure out what he sees in you.' The girl began, taking a sudden hold of Isak's jaw, her hands cold, her grip strong. 

The boy squirmed in fear, trapped like a rabbit, constricted in the tail of a python. 

'I don't see much.' She muttered, clicking her tongue and shaking her head with a malicious smile. 

A strangled groan sounded from somewhere in the far corner of the room, Isak's eyes flying to the source of the noise, watching in pure horror as a young, thin, brunette man began to crawl slowly from behind the couch, his face indiscernible, the skin at his neck ripped and bloodied, the human quite obviously hanging somewhere between life and death, leaving a trail of red beneath him as he tried to drag his failing body to the door. 

Sonja's eyes darted to him, sharp, the woman lifting herself from Isak, letting go of the boy's face, heels clicking as she sauntered over to the dying man, smirking for a moment before lowering her stiletto delicately into the wound at his neck, stepping down hard and piercing into him, thick crimson blood spluttering out of the human at a startling rapidity, soiling her ankles, his cries becoming abruptly cut off, his body going limp. 

As much as he wanted to, Isak couldn't tear his eyes away from the horrifically gory scene, his body going numb with terror, tears beginning to sting his eyes and his heartbeat accelerating in his chest. 

_Fuck._

'Shit, I nearly got blood on my Givenchy.' The girl murmured casually, surveying her surprisingly spotless white dress. 

She then shifted her attention to Isak, leering at him, the boy quietly sobbing into himself. 

_What did she want?_

This woman was quite obviously Even's past lover, the one who had turned him, the one that Even had spoken to Isak about only briefly at the cemetery. 

_Was she still bitter about her separation with Even and wanted to kill Isak to eliminate competition?_

Isak swallowed hard. 

_What did it matter to her now? Even had left, he was done with Isak. As far as the boy was concerned there was no longer any competition to be eliminated._

Still, she probably didn't know that and he would die a brutal and gruesome death at her hands, regardless. 

'Don't worry about him.' Sonja said with another chuckle, eyeing the blonde boy and gesturing to the lifeless corpse on the floor with a blood covered foot. 'He's just a _dinner_ guest from earlier.' 

The woman stepped away from the dead body, migrating towards the slight teenager, who twitched in his bonds, sweating in the cold, filled top to toe with splintering dread, unable to inch away from the monster, unable to run. Sonja had a terrifying sensuality about her that Isak, as a full-blooded homosexual, was mostly impervious to. She hovered around his chair, her long body swaying gracefully, her hips shifting with sophistication and ease, the girl seeming much like a cat, tauntingly circling a trapped and dying mouse. Her raucous black eyes shot down at him, void and belittling as Isak continued to involuntarily cry, trepidation getting the better of him. 

_He was practically suicidal at this point in his life. Why was he so scared?_

'Tell me, Isak.' She asked in the gentlest of tones. 'Are you in love with Even?' 

Isak didn't want to speak, he didn't want to utter a sound. The vampire’s eyes, however, were expectant and the teenager knew that if he didn't comply with her demands and answer her questions he would suffer for it. So the boy nodded feebly, blushing scarlet. 

It was the truth. 

Isak _did_ love Even, even though the vampire had left him and shattered him and irreparably broken his heart. He loved Even, he always would. 

The girl laughed. 

'And do you think he's in love with you?' She went on, continuing to surround him, her physiognomy afire with malice. 

Isak shrugged dejectedly, shrinking into himself as she stooped slightly to inspect his eyes. 

The male vampire had told Isak such, that he loved him. 

Still, he really didn't know the answer to that question. The boy didn't really know anything, he was quickly realizing. 

'He isn't.' She snapped harshly, eyes vehement. 'Do you know anything about him at all? What has he told you, Isak?' 

The boy honestly couldn't find it within himself to speak. He just continued to cry, sniffling pitifully as the woman grimaced at him. He was so _weak_. 

'Oh cut it with the tears.' She jeered, as if reading his mind. 'Emotional vulnerability is not an attractive quality in males.' 

With that she let out another belligerent chuckle, crouching down so she was in Isak's eye-line, lowered yet still giving off a superior, dominating air. 

'Did he tell you how he died? Did he tell you the state he was in when I saved him?' She asked, voice caustic, black eyes severe. 'I saved his life, by the way. I saved his life and I've been his partner ever since.' She paused, almost apprehensively. 'Sure, throughout the years he's tried to declare independence, but he _always_ comes back to me... And he will, he'll come back after this...' 

A shade of insecurity began to manifest in her voice and her eyes fluttered to the ground, her brow furrowing, like she was trying to convince herself of her own words. Her perceivable weakness caused Isak to microscopically smirk, even in his situation. It felt almost as if he had scored a point. 

'Don't look so self-assured.' She spat, her fangs extending in antipathy. 

Isak's smirk left his face immediately at her murderous glare. 

'Do you know how he died, Isak? Did he tell you?' 

Isak cowered. 

'Influenza.' Was all the boy could choke out, quiet and doubtful. 

The girl cackled, rising from her crouch to speak down at him again. 

'Influenza!' She exclaimed. 'Influenza! What a fucking liar.' 

Isak frowned, incomprehension overriding fear. 

_Why would Even lie about his cause of death?_

‘I guess he wanted to spare you the gory details.' Sonja muttered, sitting across from the boy and settling into an armchair, crossing one leg over the other, relishing in her freshly re-established high-ground. 

'I don't. I want to give you _all_ the gory fucking details. I think you need to hear them.' 

Isak's sobs calmed, watering down to silent, shaky tears. He wasn't in imminent danger; that much he could gather. The vampire was going to torment him with some ugly truth first. The boy took a deep breath, ready to have to air knocked out of him. 

'I first met Even in 1940, a year before he was turned.' The young women began, her eyes hazy and nostalgic, the vampire folding her hands in her lap, getting comfortable. 

'At that point in my life I was posing as a nurse, it provided an efficient way to get blood, you see. I mean, hunting has always been easy enough, but it was getting so very tiring... and working at a hospital, the patients were all so weak, the blood was basically there for the taking.' She smiled at the memory fondly, Isak's face scrunched, sickened. 'I killed them in the night, the patients that were under my care, telling the doctors that they had merely died of illness in their sleep. There was something about caring for them, the sick people, saving them from near death and then _killing_ them.' She shrugged objectively. 'It appealed to me. Call me sadistic all you like but I quite enjoyed it, the power.' 

Isak shivered at her words, his terror, interestingly enough, declining, the boy looking at the creature before him, really looking at her, truly recognizing then how utterly dead she was behind the eyes, an aura of black hatred emanating from her exquisite form with every word she said. Her energy was so dark, so suffocating, so devoid of love and tenderness and any sliver of humanity. 

Isak almost felt sorry for her. 

_Almost._

'I killed every single poor soul that was assigned to me. All except one. All except Even.' 

The teenager budged in his ties at the name. Sonja continued. 

'I had taken a job at an insane asylum for men. I thought it might be a bit or fun. Even, he was a mental patient.' 

Isak blinked, too stunned by the girl's words to react properly. The vampire leaned forward, eyes boring into him. 

'He was absolutely _insane_ when I met him. Like, bat-shit fucking crazy.' She mused with a acrimonious chuckle. 

The teenage boy looked at his knees, thinking of his last conversation with the vampire, the way Even's arms had loosened around Isak as he spoke about his mother. His _crazy_ mother... 

_Shit._

'He was beautiful, though...' She went on, the tiniest glimmer of faintness taking her features. Isak assumed Even had that tenderizing effect on everyone, even the monster in front of him, as unoccupied and sadistic and hollow as she was. 

'He wasn't like the other inmates in the hospital. They were all disgusting, their mental illnesses driving them to behave like fucking _animals_.' She scowled. 'One guy flung his semen at me, just like that scene in The Silence of the Lambs. It was fine, though, that poor bastard soon realized he had fucked with the wrong nurse.' The girl smiled sinisterly with a laugh. 

Isak almost smiled too, not quite able to, the boy finding Sonja's strength of character somewhat admirable. 

'But Even...' Her cold voice turned to silk. 'He looked just like...' She cut herself off, choking slightly on her words. She rambled. 'I mean, he was incoherent, utterly mad. Nothing he said made any sense and he couldn't focus on anything longer than a few minutes. But he was so _soft_ , chivalrous, in his own way. He'd be so happy to see me, he'd smile so brightly and draw me pictures. None of that shit _really_ mattered, I suppose, he would have caught my eye regardless, but... I don't know. I became infatuated with his purity. And I couldn't kill _him._ Not in the same way I'd killed the others' at least.' 

Isak imagined the human version of Even, the mad, beautiful boy the female vampire had described. The teenager's heart ached. He knew very well, first hand, how sweet Even could be. Even in death, the male vampire seemed bereft of sin, pure, as if he had never killed anyone, never harmed a soul. It was easy for Isak to forget exactly what Even was, easy for him to ignore the fact that the young man he had let into his bed drank human blood... 

'I knew as soon as I saw him that he would be mine, I knew that I _had_ to turn him.' She simpered. 'But I also knew he would hate me if I did it, and I didn't want that. You see, Isak, every one of us hates our creators. So I had my doubts.' 

Isak nodded, abstractedly, drawn into the woman and her recollection, forgetting where he was, taken so completely by the new information, absorbed by it. 

'My doubts ceased once the doctors and his family agreed on going forth with a leucotomy.' 

Isak frowned, confused. 

'L-leucotomy?' The boy asked shakily. 

'It's the surgical cutting of white nerve fibers in the brain.' Sonja murmured, informatively. 'Basically, instead of therapy or oral medication, medical professionals of the early nineteenth century had come to the consensus that the best way to treat mental illness was to sever the frontal lobe of a patient's brain by shoving a thin metal skewer through their nasal or orbital cavity.' 

Isak gulped. 

'L-like a-a lobotomy?' The boy stammered cautiously, remembering a few fragments of information from the Psychology elective he had taken the year earlier. 

'Yes, exactly like that.' Sonja affirmed taciturnly. 'The doctors were still relatively unversed with the procedure, and quite frankly they didn't really take much care. Mental patients were seen as akin to scum back then... they still are, I suppose.' 

Isak balked ruefully, thinking of his mother. 

She wasn't _scum_. 

'They destroyed him. The operation turned Even into a vegetable. He was all gone behind the eyes...' Pain lit her voice, Isak drawn to the emotion like a moth drawn to light, leaning towards her from his place in the chair. 

His chest hurt. 

'His smile was gone, gone forever. He was just...' She swallowed audibly. '...Dead. Living dead. Catatonic.' 

Tears began to gather in Isak's sore, tired eyes, the adolescent breaking within at the thought of his Even in such numbness, such misery. 

Sonja eyed the slow tears that ran down Isak's face, grimacing at him, rolling her eyes, condemning his emotions, his love. 

Her tone hardened. 

' _I_ saved him from that.' She repeated, possessively. 'And he fell in love with me almost immediately.' 

The human could see right through her, could see the uncertainty on her face, hear it in her voice. 

_But does he love you now?_ , Isak wanted to taunt, knowing better, however and swallowing his words. 

_Evidently not._

'He darkened, after that.' Sonja murmured, looking off somewhere in the distance, vacantly. 'He became hateful, angry at the world for what had been done to him. I liked him better that way. It’s always best to be hard inside.' The girl muttered flatly, in continuation. 'He's never been the same as he was when living, he's never drawn pictures or smiled as brightly or even laughed...' She trailed off. 

A soft warmth built in Isak's chest. The vampire had done all of those things in the boy's presence. Hell, every time Even saw Isak a smile brighter than the sun spread across his perfect face. The teenager's heart skipped a beat, the human, despite being tied to a chair, helpless and under the ministration of hostile, blood-thirsty vampire, feeling the happiest he'd felt in days, happy at the thought that he had brought Even joy, that he may have caused the young man's musical laughter to return after all that had happened to him, after all that he'd been through. Isak felt like he could die at peace. 

'He's still fucked in the head.' Sonja uttered with virulence, breaking through Isak's momentary joviality. 'He was cured of the effects of the botched leucotomy, everyone returns to prime health once transformed - but the inconsistency of his personality stuck. That's the thing, we still retain our fundamental characteristics into the afterlife, and unfortunately for Even, his most distinct attribute has always been _insanity_.’ 

Isak's mouth opened, then closed, dumbfounded. 

'He's manic.' Sonja contended sharply. 'He's stuck in an eternal up and down, perpetually fluctuating. He doesn't know what he wants. He's _crazy_.' 

The teenager blinked absently. 

'He doesn't know what he's doing.' She reiterated. 'And you.’ She gestured to Isak. ‘Well, you're nothing. He doesn't love you. He's not capable of love. You're just a distraction.' She glowered at him. 'And a terribly mundane distraction at that.' 

Isak’s face contorted, and while her words stabbed into him, the boy was unable to truly believe her. 

_Not capable of love?_

Such a statement could not be said about Even Bech Næsheim. The older boy who hugged too tightly and played with Isak's hair and kissed him all over his face and ceaselessly told him he was beautiful. 

_Sonja was wrong about him. Dead wrong._

Maybe Even wasn't perfect, maybe he had an evil within him that Isak was not quite willing to acknowledge, maybe be was unstable and maybe he had left. But it was all clear now; the vampire had only abandoned Isak because he thought it would be in the human's best interest. The teenager desperately hoped he could live to see Even again and prove to him that he had it all wrong, that Isak needed him, that they needed each other. 

One look at Sonja's increasingly venomous expression told the boy that his future was not at all secure. The teenager squirmed anxiously. 

She lifted from her seat slowly, floating towards Isak yet again, kneeling before him, getting close to his face, the human jerking back in panic. 

'What makes you think he won't _kill_ you?' She asked in a pestilential voice. 

She snickered, noticing the teeth marks at Isak's collarbone. A cold hand flew to the open neck of his shirt, pulling the fabric so it fell of his shoulder, the boy wincing as her icy fingers grazed his skin. 

'He's bitten you, for fuck’s sake.' 

Isak blushed, the vampire raising her eyebrows knowingly, something in between jealousy and amusement playing in her haunting features. 

'Has he fucked you?' She asked suddenly, teeth glinting. 

Isak didn't answer, looking at his knees, his blush deepening. 

The silence was telling. 

'Oh he _has_.' She sniggered. 'That's just sick. Playing with his food like that.' 

She laughed meanly, Isak feeling quite humiliated, shrinking in on himself. 

He hated hearing the best night of his life be passed off in such a grotesque fashion. 

'I'm surprised you survived it.' Sonja went on, a bitter smile on her face. 'Now he can't love you very much if he's willing to risk your life like that, merely for his own sexual gratification.' _The girl had a point._

Still, Even had clearly not been in his right mind. And nothing bad had happened to Isak. The entire experience had been magical, transformative. The boy couldn't bring himself to regret any of it. 

'What are you doing, you stupid, stupid boy?' Sonja crooned, becoming unexpectedly delicate, stroking Isak's cheek tantalizingly, the teenager stiffening underneath her touch. 'Don't you know how much danger you're in, every second you're with him? You're so young, so naive. Go home, play with your toys, go home to mommy.' 

Isak waned, injured. 

'I don't even speak to my mother.' He muttered quietly in defense. 

Sonja huffed. 

'Spare the sob story for someone who cares.' She retorted in the same babying tone. 'You think being estranged from your mother is difficult?' The girl taunted. 'Getting forcibly turned into a vampire by a creepy old man in 16th century Russia at the age of 19 and having to forget about your husband and two children, now that's difficult.' Her voice became stressed at the last few words, her eyes dropping slightly, only for a second. 

Isak was taken aback by the sudden admission, his view of the girl shifting vividly. Up until that point he had seen her purely as a morally-corrupt, blood-thirsty monster. And while she was still entirely monstrous, her complete disregard for human life and unashamed cruelty became understandable. She had been hurt, she had been stolen from. 

'I-I'm s-sorry.' Isak found himself stuttering. 

Sonja's face twisted, looking angrier than she had the entire time. 

'I don't need your pity.' She spat, enunciating each syllable with poison. 

Her hands enclosed around the boy's face abruptly, roughly. 

'Remember one thing, Isak.' She began, eyes burning with subdued rage. 'You may think Even loves you, and maybe he does, in his own fucked-up way...' She got so close to Isak that their noses almost touched, the boy biting his tongue in fright. 'But Even is a _predator._ We are not like you. We are creatures the night, we lurk in the shadows. Everything about us, our sensuality, our beauty, our scent, our strange magnetism, it's all to pull you in, all so we can kill you.’ She paused, smiling. ‘A part of Even will _always_ want your blood. Surely you can feel that, in the pit of your stomach, the omnipresent, primitive fear. He's sweet, Even, he's probably thinking that maybe there's more to life than murder, isolation and decay. There isn't, not for us. Remember, darling, that no matter what, no matter how much he thinks he cares about you, blood always prevails, blood always wins.’ 

The young woman's punishing words were stopped short, interrupted suddenly by a loud crash from the room behind them, the sound of a window being violently smashed, glass shattering noisily. 

'Isak!' A familiar, velvet-smooth voice growled, panicked, heavy footsteps sounding behind the boy, approaching, the purest relief flooding Isak, his heart, quite stupidly, doing somersaults in his chest, tears, yet again, springing from his eyes, this time out of joy. 

Sonja's eyes widened in fear, the girl letting go of Isak's face and stepping back hurriedly, like she was a child getting caught doing something she had been directly told not to. 

'Even...' Isak whimpered, turning to his lover's voice, crying, as he felt cold, large hands at his wrists, undoing the knots that bound him to the chair. 

_Even had come back to him. He had come to save him._

Isak had honestly not been expecting it, thinking for a moment that Sonja's black, lifeless eyes world be the last thing he would ever see. 

Even darted around to Isak's front, the sight of the vampire after so many days leaving Isak breathless, the older boy's face gaunt and tired, his pale hair windswept, his sparkling blue eyes searching Isak all over for any sign of injury. 

_He was so beautiful._

Isak's unfettered hands grabbed for Even immediately, arms flying around the vampire’s neck and clutching him with desperation, a heavy sob beginning to tear from the boy's chest. Even tried to free the human's ankles as quickly as possible, faltering slightly under Isak's restricting hold, before returning the embrace, pulling the tearful adolescent into him, his strong arms encircling the teenager's waist tightly. 

Isak melted into the young man, breathing in the scent he had missed so much, burying his face into the fabric of Even's soft coat, hurting. 

'Even.' He sobbed powerlessly, the creature coming to a stand, lifting up the limp and clinging boy with him, Isak tripping slightly as bare feet stumbled over Even's shoes. 

'Shhh.' The male vampire cooed, his hand in Isak's hair, fingers running through it soothingly. 'It’s okay… _Lille sol_ … shhhh.’ 

'You left.' Isak cried into the crook of Even's neck pathetically. 

'I had to. I'm sorry.' The creature murmured in almost a whisper, heavy sadness weighting his voice. 

Isak sniffled, the vampire holding him even tighter, protectively. 

'What the _fuck_ , Sonja!?' Even snarled with blood-curdling aggression as he comforted the boy, Isak having all but forgotten about the other vampire's presence, the girl sinking back with a groan into the armchair. 

'Oh for god's sake.' She muttered, obviously stung by the highly ostensible emotional connection between the two boys. 'He's fine. I didn't hurt him. The worst I did was knock him out with some chloroform to prevent any unwanted kicking and screaming while I dragged him here.' 

Isak could feel Even's body go rigid against him. 

'Why _the fuck_ would you do this?' The vampire growled furiously, Sonja rolling her eyes dismissively. 

'Why not?' She snapped. 'The kid deserves to know what he's getting himself into.' 

All of a sudden, Even was prying a resistant and sniveling Isak from his warm body, quite frantically, trying to look the boy in the eyes. 

Isak was devastated by the return of distance between them, thrashing to get back at him. 

'What'd she say to you, baby?' Even inquired gently, holding the human still, anxiety in his cerulean irises, fingertips touching the boy's wet cheek. 

Isak was not in any state to answer this question or even begin to reflect on what Sonja had told him, the boy continuing to shudder with tears, worming his way back into Even's arms, the vampire giving in easily, holding the teenager securely to him once more. 

'He's not going to answer you comprehensively, Even.' Sonja said with a sigh. 'All the boy does is whine. Honestly, you would have been better off just getting a pet or something...' 

'You had no right-' Even glowered at her, Isak continuing to wail quietly, the vampire rubbing his back. 

Sonja scoffed, her face becoming condescending, cold hatred re-surfacing to her features. 

'I had no _right_?' She mimicked him malevolently. 'You want to talk about _rights?_ Tell me, Even, what _right_ did you have to somehow trick that idiotic _child_ into falling in love with you, what right did you have to fuck up his life-' 

'Don't.' Even cut her off, the commanding acidity in his voice causing even Isak to become startled. 'Don't act like you care about his well-being-' 

'Oh don't worry, I don't.' She retorted haughtily. 'Quite the contrary, actually. I'd like to kill him and drink his blood.' 

Although safe, Even shielding him, Isak couldn't help but shudder in distress. 

'I bet he tastes sweet.' Sonja continued in a taunt, smiling callously. 'You would know, wouldn't you- I see you've already taken a few bites-' 

Even hissed lowly, taking the boy's shoulders suddenly and pulling him carefully from him again, Isak mewling in protest. 

'N-no-' the boy cried. 

Isak wasn't sure if it was just that he had painfully missed Even for days or the fact that in this situation, the older boy represented safety, but the teenager didn't want to let go of the vampire, not ever again. 

'Shhhh.' Even hushed him, dragging Isak so that the human stood behind him, the taller boy protectively segregating the adolescent from Sonja, whose black eyes blazed murderously at the mortal. 

Isak clutched onto the back of Even's arm, staying close to the creature, not at all caring how needy and childlike it made him seem. 

'Do you honestly care about this _stupid_ kid?' Sonja muttered between clenched teeth, jealously thick in her countenance and voice. 

'Yes.' Even replied, cuttingly. 

Isak couldn't help but smile a little. 

Sonja's sharp gaze flew to that smile, fury taking over her face. She glared at him. 

'If that's true.' She spat. 'If you really do _care_ for the _human_ , then I think you and I both know that it's in his best interest that you stay away from him.' 

Her eyes were all-knowing, belittling Even just as she had done with Isak. 

The smaller boy shuffled, insecurely. 

'Of course I know that...' Even's voice was low, breathless, inundated by misery. 'I was trying to-' he stopped himself, sighing, chest heaving. 'But if you think my leaving him means that I'll run back to you, Sonja, then it appears that loneliness really _has_ made you dumb.' 

The human's mind faltered. 

_Even had plans of leaving again?_

Isak's grip on Even's arm tautened, unable to even fathom the pain of being left again. 

Sonja recoiled at the male vampire’s words, compressed into the armchair beneath her, quailing in what looked like agony, like he had physically wounded her. 

'I'm done, Sonja, I'm never coming back.' The vampire shook his head, words harsh and slow. 'It's all over. You can stop following me around.' 

Something clicked within the girl; Isak could see it on her face. Her body went listless, pink tears forming in the rims of her black eyes, the blush-toned streams of liquid dwindling down her face, the droplets coating her dense lashes. 

Isak stilled, thinking abstractedly, that he had never before seen someone look so hopeless. 

Her voice was raspy yet soft, so soft, when she finally spoke again, her eyes glossy, looking off at nothing, anything but the vampire in front of her that was undoubtedly breaking her heart. 

'But I thought you loved me...' 

And Isak's own heart couldn't help but sink a little for her. 

_He knew how it felt_. 

'I did.' Even stated, unsympathetic austerity still prevalent in his voice. 'But that was a very long time ago. I can't even _look_ at you now, and honestly, what you did tonight disgusts me.' The girl sobbed, cringing in shame. Even continued, relentless. ' _You_ disgust me.' 

Sonja nodded absently, sitting up a little, trying to wipe away her tears, the pink pigment staining her white dress and white hands. 

Isak thought it might make him feel some kind of gratification, seeing the monster that had so conceitedly tormented him, crying like this. It didn't. 

'So you love the human?' She whispered shakily, barely audible. 

'Yes.' Even answered straight away, voice strong, resolute. 

Sonja shuddered. 

'What's your plan?' She murmured haplessly. 'Are you going to turn him?' 

'No. I would never do that to him. I would never force him to-' 

A cold, joyless laugh escaped the girls lips. 

'Oh Even.' She crooned quietly, eyes distant, the male vampire quaking under Isak’s hands. 'You know how this ends.' 

'It doesn't have to be that way-' Even countered defensively, the morose tone in his voice contradicting his words. 

Sonja's irises, like bottomless black voids in her pretty face, became reflective, the girl having drifted away, her mind somewhere else. 

'I haven't forgotten him...' She choked out. 'Not in three centuries...' 

_Who?_

Isak could hear Even's breath hitch, the vampire turning his face to the look down at the human boy behind him, eyes touching the adolescent only briefly, brimming with sorrow. 

'I had to watch him grow old.' Sonja breathed, white-knuckled hands clutching her stomach as if she had been stabbed there, as if that was where she hurt. 'I had to watch him die.' Her voice broke, becoming even quieter, heavier with sadness. 

'Do you have any idea how painful it is...' She blinked, seeming numb, numb from grief. 'Do you... Do you know how it feels to chase someone's image long after they're dead, running in circles, never growing old, never resting...' 

Her lost eyes searched the room, falling on Even who was turned towards Isak. 

The girl heaved, standing from her seat for the last time, body hunched, deflated, all assertive poise gone, the vampire holding onto her own heart, as if she were trying to keep the unmoving muscle from tumbling out of her chest. 

She neared her ex-lover, an arm extending, Isak's hold tightening around Even in fear, but also in possession. 

When the girl's fingers touched his the older boy's pale cheek, the male vampire didn't move, didn't pull away. 

'...and you look almost exactly as he did.' She whispered tearfully, her hand dropping feebly at her side as Even just stared at her, blue eyes unaffected. 

'Look at yourself.' He tormented, in a soft voice, a whisper. 'You're so fucking empty. So fucking void of light.' 

It was unnecessary cruelty; even Isak thought that, the girl's thin body curling in on itself further. 

'I just really thought.' She whimpered quietly, wincing at the other vampire's venomous unfeelingness. 'I really thought that maybe, just maybe… you and I could have forever.' 

Even laughed darkly, Isak quite taken aback by his savagery, 

'We can't.' He said coldly, emotionlessly. 'I don't love you.' 

Sonja nodded again, one sharp, snapping nod, bloody tears continuing to spill from her. 

'And you don't love me either.' Even murmured, register softening, the girl calming visibly at the pacifying tone within his deep voice. 

'You love him.' Even stated simply. 'You've always only loved him.' 

Isak hadn't the slightest clue who Even was talking about. 

The female vampire shoulders dropped in defeat. 

'But he's _gone_ , isn't he?' She muttered almost without volume. 'It’s so very lonely...' The girl edged forward towards Even again, trembling. 'To live as long as I have.' She faltered, crying out once more before emotion left her body like the light of day leaving the sky, her face and physical form becoming harrowed by emptiness. 

'You don't yet understand that, how isolating it all is... and I hope, my love, that you never have to.' 

Her dark eyes looked up at Even blankly, the woman leaning into him, close to his face, lips parting, seeming as if she was might kiss him, stopping short when met with rejection, the male vampire inching his face ever so slightly away from her, the girl falling back, broken in two, crumbling. 

She turned and walked slowly to the glass table beside the front door of her apartment, stumbling a little in her heels, stepping over the corpse that still lay there, mangled on the ground, reaching for her phone. 

'It's dawn.' She murmured, smiling as she checked the time, the first genuine smile Isak had seen on her face, the soft curve of her lips angelic and beautiful. 

Both Isak and Even's eyes were trained on her, terrified. 

'You know...' She murmured quietly, sadly. 'I haven't seen the sunrise in almost three hundred years.' 

Her words mirrored Even's, profound, miserable. 

And with that, as if it were the most casual thing she had ever done, the old, lonely girl opened the front door, soft daylight spilling into the artificially lit room, Even letting out a dry, sharp hiss, tearing himself from his human and retreating into the far corner of the living room, finding refuge from death in the darkness of the shadows. 

Isak lunged forward towards the female vampire, as if trying to stop her, watching in horror as her golden hair became illuminated by the sun, the image almost biblical, her fly-always lit with white, like a halo around her head, a laugh of pure delight escaping the ill-fated young woman as her body began to take flame. 

Isak could only stare as dazzling fire cut into Sonja's delicate form, eating her up, the red and orange tendrils encasing her amorously, melting her down, engulfing her completely in heat, her limbs falling apart, as if pulled at the seams, the girl, piece by piece, turning to pure white ash, raining down softly on the ground where her feet had been. 

The room went silent. Dead silent. 

After a long moment, Isak could hear Even, from somewhere behind him, sobbing quietly. 

The human just stood at the door, paralyzed, looking down at the small heap of ivory sand that had only moments earlier been a living, breathing woman. 

It all became too much, the boy's head whirling violently before he passed out, hitting the cold slate floor beneath him with a loud thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "For ever and ever, never growing old"  
> \- The Hunger, 1983


	13. "Love me - that's all I ask of you"

Isak was drifting, slipping away, his mind turning to fog, his eyes seeing nothing but darkness, thick, unending darkness that encapsulated his body and made up everything around him. Slowly, like the first rumble of thunder in a storm, soft noise began to cut through the black fog in which he was floating, the sound, first deep and smooth, repeating itself, morphing, developing slowly into a word, a name. 

His name. 

'Isak!' The diluted, panic-lit voice exclaimed, over and over, severing the dreariness, anchoring the boy towards consciousness, dragging him gradually from the dark haze in which he was trapped. Even. 

_It was Even's voice._

Isak thrashed violently in his state of delirium, trying to run towards the velvet-soft sound, letting it tug at him forward, letting it pull him. The vampire was crying, that much was clear, this denoted by the shaky, uneven tones of his speech and audibly ragged breathing. Isak yearned to wake from his transitory daze, to go to Even, to stop his tears, end his pain, try to negate and chase away all that had hurt his lover in his many years of living. 

'Isak!' Even's voice continued in a wail, the black cloud within which the adolescent was bound clenching tighter on the boy, forbidding him to find freedom from its clutches. 

The human fought against its strength, shapes of lights cutting into the blackness, sounds becoming richer, definite, this signaling the boy’s ascent into cognizance. 

'Isak! Isak? Please wake up...' Even sustained, his register strained, sad. 

Isak's eyes fluttered open at this, unexpectedly willed back into wakefulness, his struggle coming to an end, his body feeling like led, confusion taking his brain as he stared at the ivory ceiling before him. He was on the floor, it was cold and hard and his body ached against it. Dull sunlight from an open door poured over him, his eyes straining against its brightness, his head hurting, throbbing. 

_How had he ended up there?_

Isak just lay there, curled into the floor for a long moment, limbs tingling, trying to figure it all out. 

'Isak...' Even's voice repeated, colored by relief, evidently having noticed the adolescents return to consciousness. 

The boy shifted, trying to sit up, his skull stinging due to the impact it had made only five minutes earlier when it hit the ground. Isak wasn't sure exactly what was going on, his thoughts shot and incomprehensible, but he knew one thing; he knew he had to close that damn front door before any sunlight touched Even. Moving slowly, unable to make it to his feet, body heavy with trauma, the boy crawled to the doorway, dragging his own weight awkwardly and staying close to the ground, noticing wryly that there were silent tears gathered in his eyes. Isak stopped when he met the threshold of the apartment, his hand almost making contact with the chalk-like dust that lay there, scattered by the morning breeze, the teenager wincing, and jerking back, thoroughly disturbed. 

_Sonja._

Isak wheezed, feeling as if he was going to vomit but gulping the sensation down, the teenager overcome with a strange calmness, most likely the result of mind-numbing shock. He rose momentarily to a kneeling position, shakily nudging the front door to a close, his head spinning, ringing in his ears. The boy was still afraid to stand, afraid that gravity would have its way with him and he'd only end up falling to the ground again, so he didn't dare attempt to lift himself fully, leaning against the wall for a drawn-out moment, staring back into the bleak living space before him. The room was, once again, devoid of any natural lighting, yet still lit well enough to allow Isak to easily distinguish Even amidst the furniture, the vampire sitting in the far corner, half obscured by the couch behind which he had hidden, concealed from daylight, his thin frame convulsing, sobbing silently into his own knees. 

_Even was in pain._

In that moment, it didn't matter to Isak that he himself was entirely traumatized, scared and drained in both the mental and physical sense. It didn't matter that he felt as if the air had been knocked clean out of him and that he couldn't quite breathe. All that mattered were Even's tears. All that mattered was Isak's desire to wipe them away, to put them to death. 

_He had to hold it together, he had to be strong._

_For him._

Isak braced himself, pushing across the floor, sliding and tripping down on his own body, falling on his torso as he crawled with great struggle toward the creature, the soft tremor of Even's form lessening as the human neared him, as if the teenager's close proximity somehow pacified the enormously distraught vampire. 

'Even.' Isak murmured tenderly when he finally reached him, his hands immediately grasping for the taller boy, the vampire exhaling discernibly through tears, his face concealed, hidden in his knees. 

'Even.' Isak lifted himself to an unsteady stoop, hovering over the creature, desperately trying to stop himself from toppling over and becoming one with the floor, scared that his weakened form might shatter at the impact and crumble to nothing. The boy pulled gently on the vampires arms, which Even had wrapped resolutely around himself, his body turned to stone, shutting off from the outer world. The creature seemed to have let his inner turmoil take him completely, leaving Isak freestanding and locked outside, the smaller boy unable to help him, feeling utterly useless. 

'Even.' Isak reiterated, slightly firmer, green eyes concentrating. 'Look at me.' 

Even did not look at him. He only withdrew, dwindling in on himself further, letting out a muffled cry. 

'Isak?' He sobbed breathlessly, head down. 

'Yes.' The boy affirmed in a whisper, resting a quivering hand on the vampires shoulder. 'Yes, I'm here.' 

At that, little by little, Even unraveled, his arms loosening, knees dropping slighting, his face lifting to meet the teenager's wary yet expectant gaze. Even was a mess. His sallow cheeks were reddened from both the flush of his skin and the pink tears that fell from his eyes, watered-down crimson trailing to the base of his neck and into the collar of his shirt. His lips were swollen and chapped, having been bitten down on, and his blue eyes were glassy, bloodshot and distant. 

He stared at Isak with an expression of pure, listless agony, as if he was being burnt from the inside and could do nothing about it. 

Isak's heart lurched. He hated seeing Even like this, Even, his angel, the charming, gloomy boy who was always so happy and in charge and so ironically _alive_. He hated seeing him so entirely deflated, reduced to rubble, shattered by suffering. 

Isak thought for one intense moment that he would gladly _die_ for Even, if it meant that the vampire’s anguish could be forever put to an end. 

'When you fell to the ground...' Even began voice croaky and choked by tears. His eyes darted aimlessly, focusing on nothing, brimming with anxiety. 'I thought, for a second you had...' He trailed off, his expression indescribably grief-stricken. 

'Shhhh.' Isak hushed him, timidly closing the distance between himself and the vampire, taking advantage of Even's opened posture and weaving his way into him, trembling slightly, arms snaking around the young man's shoulders, sighing in bittersweet contentment as the creature returned the embrace, pulling Isak between his legs and pressing him tight against his chest, clutching the human's waist with one hand and his soft hair with the other, fingers knitting in it almost roughly, the vampire weeping into the teenagers neck, leaving bloodied tear-stains all over the boy's skin and shirt. 

They sat like that for a long while, two body's tangled and pressed into the cold floor, shoved up against the wall, melded together, grasping one and other in desperation, stuck, hanging in the aftershock of all that had occurred. It was Even who spoke first, his tears subsiding, his voice coming out low and soft against the smaller boy's shoulder. 

'I did love her once.' He stated, tiredly. 

Isak nodded. This he knew. Even was full of love, he would have never been able stay with someone as long as he had stuck by Sonja purely out of loneliness or personal gain. Even though the male vampire had treated the girl cruelly, it was apparent that it had been merely due to his anger at her mishandling of Isak and not because he actually maintained a steady hatred for his ex-lover. And although the romantic passion that had supposedly once existed between the two undead beings was evidently gone, there had been a perceivable affinity between them, almost as if they were relatives, joined by blood. Even had lost the last shred of 'family' he had left, not only that but she had killed herself, a tragedy he would undoubtedly blame himself for. 

Isak knew he had to be there for the vampire, that he had to understand. 

'I know.' The boy said gently, squeezing him tighter. 

Even quaked dejectedly. 

'She never loved me though, not ever.' He muttered, voice thinning, darkening somewhat. 'She only ever wanted me because I looked like her first love; the man she was married to when she was human.' Isak wasn't sure what to say, so he just nodded. He didn't know enough of the situation to truly judge whether or not Even's view of his past relationship was accurate, however, judging by the way Sonja had spoken of the vampire, it was clear that she was not quite able to see the boy complexly, wanting him to be something he wasn't, his idiosyncrasies and eccentric characteristics not quite touching her. Isak didn't blame the dead girl for that, he knew very well that sometimes people fell in love when they absolutely shouldn't, that despite having clashing souls, two individuals would often insist on nurturing a relationship rooted solely in mutual infatuation. But that would never be enough, and things would always fall through. Isak's parents had been very much like that, and in the end, the flimsy infatuation between them faded away and all that was left was passionless attachment, numbing disappointment and cold bitterness. For a relationship to work there had to be mutual respect, Sonja clearly having never respected Even, reducing him to his mental illness and regarding him as if he was property to be owned. 

She had her reasons, but it was still messed up. 

_He deserved so much more than that._

'We had some good times, at the start.' Even muttered suddenly, voice flat, drained of emotion. 'But she never really loved me and I don't blame her.' He began to cry again, coldly, like it was simply a robotic function and not the result of pain, his body becoming rigid against Isak's. 'I'm nothing.' He murmured. 'I'm just fucked up, I'm so _fucked up_ , I don't even know who I am-' 

'Shhhhhh....' Isak whispered, trying to suppress his outrage at such an incorrect statement. 'That’s not true.' He cooed. 'You're beautiful, Even.' 

The vampire scoffed, the casual nature of the sound contrasting with the way he still grasped tightly to the human's small frame, clutching him as if he were a lifeline. 

'Yeah, physically maybe.’ He spat, mordant. 

Isak shook his head, pulling back to look the older boy in his raw, mottled eyes. 

'No.' Isak stated steadily, gaze burning. 'You have a beautiful soul, too.' 

Even laughed blackly, like the statement was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. 

And the teenager knew that it probably was. Even, after all, was a vampire, a vampire who needed to kill to survive. 

Still, his soul was the most gorgeous, extraordinary spectacle in existence in the boy's mortal eyes, even if the mortal's vision was mildly compromised by love-induced, rose-colored glasses. 

'I thought you didn't believe in souls.' Even said sardonically, his grip on the younger boy tautening. 

'I also didn't believe in vampires once, but hey, things change.' Isak retorted, trying to lighten the mood. 

That, of course, was an impossible task, Even letting out a shaky breath. 

'You know that I'm _crazy_ ' He asked in a strained, vaguely aggressive voice. 

Isak was blind-sided for a moment, replying hesitantly, eyes drawn downwardly. 

'Sonja told me everything.' 

Even flinched, his form tensing. 

'And?' He said the syllable hard and cuttingly, the venom in his tone stabbing into Isak. 

'It changes nothing.' The boy stated simply, his eyes lifting back to Even's, hoping to convey the depth of the love and acceptance he held for the vampire. 

The older boy's posture softened and he exhaled slowly, his expression becoming sad, guilty. 

The teenager wanted to ask Even more about his illness and what he could do to aid him, how he could reduce the echo of pain that had always been etched in the creature's face, the pain that Isak had been ignorant to until present. 

But he didn't. 

Even was in no state to be questioned. His former partner, creator and friend had just committed suicide right in front of him. He needed time to heal. And although Isak needed answers, he was willing to be patient; he was to give Even all the time he necessitated. 

The human was just now beginning to understand the vampire on a far more complex level, beginning to understand that despite his iron strength, sensual allure and dominant nature, the creature was just as fragile as Isak, with his overwhelming emotions and soft mortal flesh and breakable bones. Even needed to be treated with the utmost of care, he needed to be reassured with soft words and kissed gently and kept safe. 

The seventeen year old wanted to do all of that and more for the fairy-tale boy who had looked after him and kept him from harm’s way from the very start. He wanted to help Even heal just as the young man had done for him. 

The vampire smiled dejectedly, suddenly pulling Isak by the jaw, moving to hold the boy’s face in his large hands, leaning in to plant a tender kiss on each of the teenager's flushed cheeks. 

Isak quivered under the affection. He didn't think he'd ever get over it, the feeling of Even's soft lips on his skin. 

'You're so lovely, Isak.' The vampire murmured, sapphire eyes blazing adoringly at the human before him. 'Why are you so good to me?' He smoothed back Isak's fringe and kissed his hairline, inhaling, whispering sullenly against the boys forehead. 'I'm a monster, I don't deserve it.' 

Isak's face scrunched. He shook his head once again and jerked back to stare at the creature with bleary yet strikingly defiant eyes. 

'You aren't a monster.' 

Even dropped his hands and looped his arms around the boy's waist once again, looking down, concentrating with anguish cast over his divine features, eyes trailing the fading but visibly infected bite marks on Isak's exposed collarbone and left shoulder, red and purple, the epidermis inflamed and angry. 

'Yes I am.' He muttered absently, lifting one arm in order to trace his fingers gently over the wounds. His hands were cold and felt good against Isak's marred skin, the smaller boy sighing at the touch. 

'The worst kind, for hurting you.' Even's voice thickened with torment. 'I promised myself I wouldn't ever bring you pain, but I have, in every fucking way.' 

'No you haven't.' The boy argued indignantly. 

It wasn't entirely true. Even _had_ hurt Isak, he had hurt him immensely. His abandonment of the teenager, even if it was only for four days, had almost completely broken the boy. 

Isak swallowed his complaints. 

_Even had done it for a reason. Isak had to try to understand._

'Yes I have.' Even insisted, blood-tears streaming from his pale blue eyes. He wrenched the boy off of him and sat him against the wall, manhandling the pliant human, Isak allowing it without protest, frowning in confusion as Even carefully lifted the teenager's shirt, exposing his pale, delicately sculpted abdomen, the taught skin adorned with yellowing bruises, the soft, blotchy marks appearing almost aesthetically beautiful, like a hazy floral pattern dusted over his entire torso. 

Isak took in a sharp breath as Even's icy fingers trailed gently over the boy's damaged flesh, the action not inherently sexual but causing the adolescent to shiver in frustration regardless. The vampire took one of the human's small hands gingerly in his, letting the long sleeve of the boy's shirt drop, revealing the considerably severe blue and purplish bruises that encircled his wrist like a shadowy cuff, wincing, disgusted in himself, before ducking gently to press a soft kiss into Isak's palm, lowering his careful lips to the marks, his warm mouth brushing over the mortal's pulse. 

'Look at you.' Even murmured mournfully, moving to softly peck the bite wound at Isak's neck, lips trailing, planting hot, tentative kisses down to the boy's bare shoulder, the adolescent shuddering, the vampire trying to sooth the injuries that he himself had inflicted. 

It was anything but soothing, Isak unable to think straight as the heat of desire engulfed him and clouded his teenage, sex-obsessed brain. 

He let out an involuntarily whimper. 

'You're covered in bruises... And bite marks.' Even went on despondently, ignoring Isak's vague arousal. 'I've made you cry, you're hurting and- and it's all of it because of me...' 

The vampire drew back, carefully lowering Isak's shirt and sitting beside him, legs pulled to himself again, looking up at the ceiling with morose eyes. 

'I've done this to you.' 

'I'm fine.' Isak responded sulkily. 

That also wasn't true. Isak wasn't entirely fine. Not emotionally anyway. 

'I should never have taken your virginity.' Even murmured, the words cutting Isak deep, the vampire looking at his own hands, seemingly sickened by his own actions. 'Forgive me, Isak, I was out of my mind, that's no excuse and it doesn't make up for what I have stolen but I need you to know that I am so sorry-' 

Isak cut off Even's increasingly incoherent rambling. 

'I'm not sorry.' The boy muttered quietly. 

Even continued lamenting, acting as if Isak had never spoken. 

'I was completely manic.' He went on sorrowfully. 'I didn't even know what I was thinking-' 

A cold jolt of pain manifested in Isak's gut. The loss of his virginity was the best thing that had ever happened to Isak in his seventeen years of uneventful existence. The boy knew since it had happened that he would never forsake the memory of Even inside of him, taking him, the creature's soft kisses and unintentionally rough hands, the playful, sensual teasing, the thick, palpable love that emanated from the nightmarish young man, written in his every movement. 

The mere thought that to Even, all of it had been nothing more than a fit of insanity, a mistake, a regret, something to be _sorry_ about, well, quite frankly, it made Isak feel like he had been ripped in two. 

'So it meant nothing to you, then?' The teenager asked in barely a whisper. 

Small tears gathered in Isak's tired eyes, tears he tried desperately to brush away, not wanting Even to notice. 

Even noticed instantaneously, the vampire immediately turning to Isak, pulling the boy into him once again, the teenager hiding his pained expression in the young man's warm coat as strong arms coiled around him. 

'No... It meant everything to me.' Even whispered, his voice solemn, a gentle hand rubbing the human's back in reassurance, his lips kissing the crown of the boy's head as Isak shuddered with tears. 'But I still shouldn't have done it.' He added firmly. 'It was so reckless, so thoughtless. I could have _killed_ you. You're so innocent and I've corrupted you.' 

Isak couldn't help but laugh a little through his tears. A bitter, sarcastic laugh. 

'You haven't corrupted me.' He countered, scoffing. 'I've been addicted to hardcore online pornography since I was thirteen-' 

Even interrupted Isak's halfhearted attempt at easing the tension between them, the vampires tone troubled and unaffected. 

'I took from you, Isak, something you'll never get back.' 

Isak ripped himself from Even's grasp, reluctantly, needing to communicate to the vampire just how ridiculous he was being. 

'This isn't the eighteenth century.' Isak asserted. 'You took nothing from me. I _wanted_ it, Even, I wanted everything you did to me and I'd happily let you do it all again.' 

The vampire blinked, seeming momentarily tempted to take the boy up on his offer, his conscience, however, seeming to set in, his expression becoming stony. 

'You don't know what you want, you're seventeen.' He muttered harshly. 

'Thats not fair-' 

Even, once again, cut off Isak's protests. 

'None of it matters anyway.' He snapped heatedly. 'I'm bad for you. I destroy everything I touch. I've taken the lives of so many innocent people, caused so much fucking bloodshed.' Isak blinked. 'And just look at what I did to Sonja, I made her so miserable that she thought the only way out was to kill herself.’ 

Isak tore from the vampire completely now, enraged, almost standing up in order to properly make his point but stumbling, settling for an assertive crouch instead. 

'No!' The boy exclaimed, brashly taking Even's stunned face in both of his hands and glaring into his eyes. 'No one can make another person kill themselves.' He emphasized each word, wanting them to reach the vampire, wanting them to sink in. 'What she did, it's _not_ you're fault, it was her decision entirely-' 

But Even wouldn't be told. He shrugged off Isak's hands, pinning them to the boy's sides and shaking his head. 

'I'll destroy you too, if I stay.' He murmured, determined to deny himself of all happiness. 'I could never live with myself if I did that.' His voice became weakened by tears, loaded with emotion. Isak's heart was breaking all over again. 'I could never go on if I broke _you,_ the most beautiful boy with the purest heart I've ever known...' 

Even lifted a hand to stroke the boy's hair. Isak swatted it away. 

He was seething. 

'What the fuck, Even-' the teenager was crying now, the few tears he had shed earlier mutating into a fully-formed sob, glistening moisture flowing from his sleepless eyes and sprawling down his cheeks, the boy hiccupping in between like a small child, the teenager unable to stay composed under the sheer hopelessness of the situation. 

Even was going to leave him again. 

He was powerless. 

There was _nothing he could say._

'Baby...' Even murmured gently, reaching for the human again to hold him close, to shroud him in a false sense of hope. 

Isak was having none of it. 

'You can't leave me!' He wailed recoiling from Even like the vampire's comfort would physically hurt him, coughing out dry tears, the creature persistently trying to touch him, sooth him, draw him near, Isak repetitively backing away from the advances. 

The teenager knew he was probably being a brat about it but he couldn't help it. If Even didn't love him then Isak would have had no qualms about him leaving, he would be heartbroken, sure, but he would accept the rejection with dignity, he would let the older boy go. But the vampire did love Isak. Even was just being unreasonable, trying to deny them of something they both wanted, making the decision to rob them dually of love and a tangible chance at happiness. The creature was going to torture himself as well as the boy and he had made the decision to do so entirely on his own, disregarding Isak's opinion on the matter completely. 

It made the human furious. 

'You should hate me.' Even muttered wryly as he watched the teenager fold in two, mirroring the vampire's earlier position, burying his head between his own knees, the boy shrinking and shuddering in on himself, his rage simmering down, turning to pathetic melancholia. 

'I hate myself.' The creature continued in a flat, monochromatic tone. 

'I could _never_ hate you.' Isak sobbed, voice muffled, soaked with hopeless tears. 

'I wish you did.’ The vampire proclaimed unhappily. ‘It would make everything so much easier.' 

Isak didn't look up. 

'Please don't cry...' Even hummed sorrowfully as the boy weeped helplessly. 

Isak's head stayed down even as he found himself being lifted entirely from the ground, the vampire picking him up, cradling him like he had so many times before, carrying the boy to one of the sofas within the desolate apartment and gently lowering him down on the cool, leather materiel, Isak's overworked body curling into fetal position and sinking into the soft and cold cushioning beneath him. Even knelt beside him and played with the boy's hair, trying to fix his hurt. 

'Please stay with me, Even.' Isak whispered, voice small, pleading. 'I'm so scared, I'm so shaken up by everything that has happened just now. You can't leave me alone like this.' He let out a shaky breath before admitting to the vampire something he had been unable to say to anyone since he was a little child. 'I need you.' 

Even continued to pet at Isak lovingly, his tone however, coming out strict and finite when he spoke. 

'I'm the last thing you need.' 

'No.' Isak whimpered his heart shattering into his rib-cage. 'I need you. A-and you need me too, Even. You're grieving.' 

He finally looked up at the vampire, the older boy's face bereft, Isak's sad green eyes almost prayerful. 

'Isak...' Even murmured when the human reached for him, taking a fistful of the creature’s clothing and guiding him onto the couch, the young undead man obliging, climbing somewhat awkwardly beside Isak and letting the boy thread his thin legs with his and nestle into his chest. 

'Please...' Isak begged quietly as he clutched his lover. 'Please, Even.' 

The vampire sighed, his breath catching, distorted by tears. 

'Please stay.' The mortal continued to plead, sobbing into Even's coat, holding onto the creature like he didn't have any intention of ever parting with him. 'Please.' 

Even sighed once again, chin pressed into the boy's hair. 

'Alright.' He said after a long minute, his voice low and gruff and full of guilt. 'Alright, Isak. I'll stay.' 

And Isak should have felt relieved at the surrender, he should have felt safe, comforted, pacified. Except he didn't, because the words had not sounded like a surrender, they had not sounded like Even was giving in at all. They sounded instead like a half-strangled and empty promise and they burned into the human, the vampire silencing him, shutting him up, lying to him in order to calm him down for the time being only to rip his heart out of his chest in the near future. 

Even was so wrong, he was so wrong about it all, all except for one thing. 

Isak _should_ hate him. 

But still, the teenager couldn't, and even though he knew that figurative wool was being momentarily pulled over his tear-stained eyes, he was unable to do anything but snuggle into the vampire as he held the boy close, dreading the day he would be forced to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love me - that's all I ask of you"  
> \- The Phantom of the Opera, 1925


	14. "Blood is life! Blood is life!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

The boy and the vampire waited for the sun to set, curled into each other listlessly, exchanging faint whispers and murmurs before rising to leave the apartment, the room holding a heavy ambiance of despair, a suffocating atmosphere that they were both desperate to escape. As the young men passed through the front door, the human leading the way, Even wavered, glancing down at the girl's desiccated remains with a drawn-out, wistful gaze. 

Isak stopped, turning to the visibly plagued creature. 

'We... We can gather up the ashes, you can scatter them somewhere, somewhere nice.' Isak murmured shakily, eyes tentative. 

'No.' Even muttered, hands in his pocket, jaw clenched, looking down. 'Funereal ceremonies are just a useless human tradition.' He pointed weakly at heavy white dust that had settled into the crevices of the pavement. 'That's not Sonja anymore. What does it matter to her where these ashes go? They're just a part of the elements now. She's gone.' 

Isak nodded, one small nod of understanding before the two continued on their way, hurriedly exiting the desolate grounds on which so much horror and bloodshed had occurred, the residual black energy still thick around the two boys as they ventured into the night. 

*** 

Even fell into a heavy depression after that, the vampire going home with Isak in the aftermath of Sonja's fateful suicide and falling asleep in his bed, despite nightfall, barely moving, barely rising, invisibly bound to the teenager's mattress for almost a week. Even did nothing but sleep, day and night, the human living around him, keeping the blinds down and locking his bedroom door when he went to school, just in case Eskild came in to peruse through Isak's belongings as he often did, the boy protecting his lover, keeping him safe from the light. 

Every time he left the apartment, Isak feared that he'd return to find that the young man had disappeared, diminishing into the sunshine, never to return. But Even was always there when he got back, looking delicate and breakable, twisted under heavy blankets, right where he was when Isak had left him. 

Sometimes the older boy would wake in the night and Isak would turn on his lamp to see that despite his endless slumber, the vampire's face was exhausted, his eyes raw and rimmed with purple, his complexion drained of all colour, his full lips chapped. 

The two would talk quietly, the human attempting to distract him with discussions of Quentin Tarantino films and the mundane happenings of his school day, keeping the discourse light, Even not quite listening, his blue eyes still visibly haunted, the creature seeming to be calmed by the rise and fall of Isak's voice regardless. 

Sometimes the vampire would stir, thrashing a bit in his sleep, and Isak would wake, settle him, wind his arms around the young man and hold him close. 

Sometimes the taller boy would push him away and shift to the edge of the bed, curling in on himself, wanting to be left alone. 

Other times the creature would melt into Isak's embrace and draw him nearer, kissing the boy's forehead and whispering sweet, sad nothing's in the mortal's ear. 

The human tried not to let these inconsistencies distress him. He knew Even needed to heal. 

On the sixth night, when Isak was settled into his pillow, frowning slightly in his sleep, blond curls falling over his furrowed brow, his lips pressed into a thin, tight line, he was woken by a gentle nudge at his shoulder, a small kiss at the space between his eyes followed by a quiet whisper of his name, hushed and strained amidst the gloom. 

'Isak?' The boy's green eyes fluttered open, his sleepy gaze met by the anxious face of his vampire. 

Even was obviously cycling, lost in thought, still looking incurably tired, but determined, irritable. 

'Mmm?' Isak murmured softly, not wanting to startle him. 

'You know that time you asked me why I didn't kill you, that night we first met?' The vampire whispered, Isak balking, not quite expecting _that._

'Yes...' The human answered, voice low, thinking back to the house party that changed everything, the drunken girls, the hazy music, Even appearing, like fire, dangerous yet beautiful, burning through the dimness of Isak's existence. 

Like a dream, he had appeared to the boy, like a nightmare. 

It felt like years ago, decades ago, it was hard for the teenager to believe that it had only been over a month since Even had first sat at his window, smiling brighter than the sun, a smile Isak hadn't seen in far too long. 

_Everything seemed so simple back then, so easy. ___

'And how I said I didn't know why?' The vampire continued, settling onto his side, darkened eyes fixed on Isak, keeping space between them. 

'Yeah...' 

‘I lied. I do know.' The creature paused, deep in thought. 'It all really came down to what you said...' His voice was soft, thinner than silk, reflective. 'About drowning.' 

'Drowning?' Isak blinked, confused. 

'Yeah.' Even affirmed. 'You told me that sometimes you felt as if you were underwater, that you couldn't breath and that everyone else was just swimming.' The vampire extended an arm between them to touch his fingertips to Isak's jaw, so carefully that the boy barely felt it, like the human was a dandelion that might scatter apart at even the softest of breezes. 

'You said you felt completely alone.' 

Isak had no recollection of this. It didn't sound like something he would say, the teenager rarely spoke about his emotions or divulged anything about himself that was particularly deep. Especially not to strangers. 

'Fuck... I really _was_ drunk, man.' 

The vampire nodded, a small, weary smile playing on his pallid lips. 

'And slightly high...' Even muttered, almost lightly. 

He became immediately solemn as his eyes bore into Isak's, the boy squirming slightly under the intensity. 

'... I don't know...' He began. 'There was just something about you, even as inebriated as you were, something that struck me. It was like you understood pain, like you truly understood how isolated you were in the world, how isolated _we all are._ ' 

Even's tone was heavy and forlorn, Isak desperate to lighten it. 

'So it wasn't my dashing good-looks and boyish charm?' He muttered in a halfhearted joke, pulling a quiet, musical laugh from Even, the sound so lovely to the human's ears, albeit tinged with melancholia. 

'I suppose those things might have played a part in it.' The creature agreed, expression quickly darkening once more. 'I mean, even though I thirsted for your blood, I- I just couldn't go through with killing you.' Adoration filled the vampire's pretty eyes as he looked at Isak, adoration and regret. 'You were so beautiful... so sad.' His voice dropped to a whisper, the human's heart fluttered. 'It was jarring to me; I hadn't been so emotionally affected by anything or anyone in half a century. And then I was killing you and you begged me to stop...' Even's speech faltered, words catching. 'All I wanted to do from then on was protect you, save you from all the sadness in your eyes.' 

Stinging warmth spread through Isak's heart, overwhelming his chest, turning him to butter. Love: warm, disabling _love_ was eating him up, taking him over. 'Even...' He whispered breathily. 

But the vampire’s eyes were dark, dejected. 

'I now know I'm not the one who can save you. I'm the one you need to be _saved from_.' He said, visibly affected by his own words, the garnet-toned droplets at the water-lines of his eyes glistening in the darkness. 

The vampire was going in circles, his mind seeming to be fixated on Isak, or more specifically, fixated on _leaving_ Isak. The human knew his departure was inevitable, that Even's fatigued mind was set on it, obsessive almost with determination, and it was almost too painful, too much for the human to bear. 

'Don't say that.' Isak whispered, heart aching. 

'It's the truth.' The creature asserted harshly. 

It wasn't the truth. Even Bech Næsheim knew nothing about the truth. 

'The truth, Even.' Isak stated firmly. 'Is that I don't need saving. All I want from you is... Well, I just want _you_.' 

Isak might as well have been talking to the wall, for all the good his words of reassurance were doing. Even just continued spiraling deeper into despair, unwilling and unable to be pulled from it. 

'Soon, Isak, soon you'll realize how much of a monster I really am.' He whispered somberly. 'Then you won't want me anymore, and I'll be glad for it.' 

Isak groaned in disgruntlement, the boy growing more and more frustrated with Even's inability to see reason. 

'Stop with this shit, Even.' Isak snapped, far too severely, the emotionally-delicate vampire flinching as if he had been slapped across the face. The humans voice softened, the adolescent resting a warm hand on Even's gaunt cheek. 'Just rest. Okay? Please.' 

The taller boy was quiet for a long moment, as if following the order, Isak inching towards him and slinging a careful arm around his bony shoulders, the creature neither pulling away nor moving into the loose embrace. When he spoke again his voice was no longer sorrowful, just flat, empty, drained of all emotion. 

'Sonja had the right idea... Leaving this all behind... killing herself.' Isak froze, recoiling from the vampire, cold panic in his gut as his lover's words sunk in. 

'What _the fuck_ do you mean by that?' Even just shrugged, indifferent. 

'I mean that there is no fucking light in this existence, figuratively and literally.' He clarified, trying to avert his eyes from the abject terror forming on Isak's face. 'Just darkness, that's all there is for monsters like Sonja and I... Darkness...' 

Isak hadn't even realized he was crying until he felt wetness gathering at the hollow of his clavicle, his face and neck sticky with tears. Even could've punched the boy in the face with all of his iron strength, shattering Isak's bones, blinding him with his own blood and tears and leaving him deformed and irreparably damaged, and that, _that_ , would have hurt less than what the vampire was suggesting. 

'Even...' The adolescent sobbed quietly, winded by agony. 'Don't you _ever_ kill yourself... Don't you _ever_ do that to me.' 

The creature squinted, wincing at Isak's apparent distress and talking the boy in his arms, encircling him in a tender hold, forcibly muffling the adolescents cries, pressing the teenager's face gently into his chest and rocking him, stroking his golden hair. 

'Shhh.' He murmured soothingly. 'Don't cry, Isak. I'm far too gutless to pull anything like that off. Sonja used to say I was spineless, weak-willed. That woman was always right.' 

Isak lifted his head from the vampires shirt, wet with the human's tears, his bleary eyes glowering, angry. 

_What the fuck did Sonja know._

'It's not gutless to keep on living despite your suffering, Even.' He said, with as much strength as he could muster in his emotional state. 'That's actually pretty fucking courageous.' 

Even shook his head. 

'Not really.' He argued passionlessly. 'It's easy to numb things, when you live like I do. In the past I would indulge in mindless killing sprees, or the put myself through the odd bit of starvation.' 

_Killing sprees._

Isak shuddered, trying not to let the thought of it get to him. 

'Starvation?' He murmured, ignoring the apprehension that gathered in his stomach. 

'Yes.' Even muttered. 'A vampire doesn't necessarily need blood to live; it's more like we need blood to function. I've chosen to stop feeding before; over time you becoming senseless, you lose complete sight of who you are and what you've done, you turn into a true animal, nothing on your mind except for the dull ache of hunger.' He gulped, countenance morose, mournful. 'It's close to death, so painfully empty...but it's better than trying to keep up with my brain...' His sad eyes drifted. 'Yeah, it's better than that. 

Isak juddered, squeezing the vampire tighter. 

'I don't want to think about that, Even, I don't want to ever think about you hurting yourself.' He murmured through silent tears. 

The creature stiffened in his arms, the way he always did when he was overcome by self-loathing. 

'I deserve to starve and rot.' He said, voice sharp, venomous. 'I'm a fucking killer-' 

But Isak cut him off, refusing to hear any more of it, shushing the vampire and running his small fingers through the older boy's silken hair. 

'Just sleep okay? You can pull yourself apart all you want when you start to get better.' The teenager whispered gently, pleadingly. 'You look so tired, Evy. Just rest. Please.' 

'Fine.' Even muttered, like a stubborn child that had lost in an argument. 

He held Isak back, settling under the human's soft touch, his body relaxing, breathing regulating, his eyes shutting and his tormented expression becoming almost peaceful. 

'You brighten my whole world Isak...' He whispered into the boy's neck, so quietly, his voice almost blending into the silence of night. 'You're like a firework, a spark amongst the black.' 

Isak hummed softly, pulling Even even closer, fingers still threaded in the vampire's pale hair. 

'But I'll only dull your light, baby.' He went on miserably. '.... And...and eventually, you'll burn out, you'll become one with the darkness too, and it'll be all because of me.' 

Isak just shook his head against his pillow, refusing to take in a single world, refusing to feed Even's senseless and unceasing procession of doubt. 

'Shhh.' The smaller boy whispered, trying to will the vampire back into sleep, hoping that when the creature woke again his mind would be cleared, that sweet dreams would chase the demons from his beautiful brain. 'Please... Shhh.' 

*** 

On the seventh night, Even finally left the bed. Isak didn't wake up at first, the boy tossing in his sleep, reaching out for the creature, for the other body that had been a cemented beneath the sheet for days, a presence of comfort, a presence he'd gotten used to. Searching and coming up empty, the human was propelled into alertness, his tired eyelids lifting, the teenager finding the body he was looking for propped elegantly at the open window, Even's face sullen, dressed in his own black, structured clothing, as opposed to the soft sweaters and track pants that the vampire had borrowed from Isak's wardrobe and worn all week. The boy was overcome with anxiety, the reality of the situation dawning over him, a cold blow, the adolescent wrenching himself from the warm blankets and coming to a shaky stand, the cold night air making the hair on his bare legs stand on end, lips parted, eyes wide. 

_This was it. Even was leaving him._

'Don't look so panicked, Isak.' The stony-faced creature muttered, reading the mortal. 'I only need to feed.' 

Isak blinked. 

'Oh' He mumbled. 

He had selectively forgotten all about that. 

The boy winced. 

'You'll come back, won't you?' Isak asked in a small voice, playing with his own hands, hating how needy he sounded, how stupid he was. 

'Yes.' Was all Even said in reply, shooting Isak a long, wistful glance, hesitating slightly before turning to exit the window. 

'Wait.' Isak cried out quietly, crossing the space between them, stopping right in front of the vampire and looking at him directly in his cerulean eyes, Even staring back, eyebrows lifted, vaguely bewildered. 

'What is it, Isak?' The older boy asked, biting him lip, seeming almost as if he was irritated. 

'Promise me.' Isak whispered, feeling small, weakened under Even's cold eyes. 'Promise me you'll come back.' 

For whatever reason, the teenager's fretful vulnerability seemed to strike a chord with the vampire, his face warming, becoming soft. 

'I promise.' Even murmured gently, leaning into Isak, raising a careful hand to take a hold of the boy's jaw and pressing a warm, chaste kiss to the human's sweet mouth. 

It was the first time they'd kissed in nearly two weeks, the contact making Isak's skin tingle, the warmth still on his lips even when the creature pulled away, sticking to him like a stain, like a brand. 

Even thumbed tenderly at the hollow of Isak's cheek, looking at the boy like he was the only thing worth looking at in all existing universes. 

'Tomorrow.' The creature whispered illusively, breaking the heartfelt gaze, his hand dropping, the young man gone within a matter of seconds, slipping gracefully from the window and leaving Isak standing there, alone in his room, heart weighted, fear and uncertainty plaguing his mind. 

*** 

The following day, as Isak entered the scenic grounds of Hartvig Nissen, bundled in a heavy jacket and scarf, the warm, bright sun casting white rays of light down on him, contrasting almost mockingly with the persistent sinking within his chest, the teenager immediately noticed that something was _was not right._

The concreted yard that bordered the school was usually chaotic outside of class hours, scattered with adolescents, a handful of couples making-out messily against the wire fences, some of the students hyper and running amiss, rejoicing in the glory days of their youth, others tired and sticking to the confines of their friendship groups, exchanging scathing bouts of gossip, a few of the more annoying and obnoxious pupils engaging in tactile sports, putting everyone at a disadvantage, soccer balls flying across the grounds like a constant threat, the entire courtyard much like a jungle, filled to the brim with horny, stressed-out teenagers. 

It was not like that today. Today there was an eerie quietness, the bulk of the students gathered around the benches in a large heard, quiet whispers flitting amongst them. A few teachers were present, their faces laced with concern, seeming to be offering authoritative support, grounding words of consolation. As Isak neared the assemblage, he realized that a lot of his peers were puffy-faced, crying, some students holding each other, others looking haunted, cold, the blood drained from their countenances. The blond boy frowned with confusion as he entered the mass of youths, spotting Jonas' yellow beanie amongst the crowd. 

'What's going on? Why's everyone crying?' Isak asked as his best friend pulled him in for a one-armed hug. 

Even Jonas's looked worried, the fine veins in his eyes reddened, raw. 

Jonas never worried about anything. 

_This was bad._

'It's a nightmare, man.' The curly-haired boy murmured, almost breathless. 'Three students were found dead in Stensparken this morning. Police are investigating, but it looks like they were murdered.' 

Icy fear formed in Isak's stomach, creeping slowly up to his throat, forming a lump there that felt like a piece of gravel. 

'W-what...?' The blond boy stammered, his body involuntarily beginning to quake. 

Even after all the horror that Isak had seen and been objected to, the news still sent a cold shiver down his spine, the teenager completely lost for words. His mind raced. 

'Yeah. I know.' Jonas muttered, face grave. 'I thought shit like this only happened in fucked up places like America.' 

The two boys turned as the rest of their squad joined them, Mahdi's brown eyes fearful, Magnus appearing oddly jovial, smiling as he pushed his straight, shaggy blond hair away from his blemished face. 

'I just asked Mrs Larsdon and apparently there's gonna be an assembly because of this last two periods...' Magnus announced, smile widening. 'Guess who’s getting out of maths.' 

The clueless teenager turned to Mahdi, offering an enthusiastic high-five, the other merely looking at the extended hand with an expression of disapproval, slowly shaking his head. 

Magnus just shrugged, oblivious to the procession of judgement he was receiving for his blatant insensitivity, ignorant to the glares he garnered from everyone in earshot. 

'Was it anyone we know?' Isak asked, hands in his pockets, face turned unnaturally white. 

'No.' Jonas answered, shaking his head. 'All third years. Kristoffer Bradt, Astrid Pettesen, Erik Hauden...' 

The names engraved themselves in Isak's consciousness, names of _people_ , people with lives and families and dreams. The boy shuddered, stopping himself from assuming the worst. 

'Astrid Pettesen!?' Magnus exclaimed, shaking his head at the tragedy, his thick pale hair flopping with the movement. 'Damn it, bro. She was hot.' 

Jonas' face fell into his hands, the brunette groaning in annoyance. 

'What the fuck does it matter if she was hot?' He snapped, shooting the idiotic teen a poisonous look. 'She's dead, Magnus. Have some respect.' 

Magnus frowned, offended, guilt setting in his large blue eyes, lips forming a pout. 

'I have plenty of respect.' He countered defensively. 'Being hot is a good thing- how is calling her that disrespectful?’ 

'It’s completely inappropriate.' Jonas muttered, sighing, his facial expression indicating that he was not quite prepared to enter an argument with an imbecile. 

'All I'm saying is that it's a shame that such a fine-looking chick got killed like that-' 

Jonas cut Magnus off, scowling at him. 

'Seriously bro, you need to just shut up.' 

Isak's eyes darted between the boys, his thoughts over-lapping one and other, the hysteria of panic fogging his senses. 

'H-how can people be so sure they got murdered?' He inquired nervously. 'Maybe they all overdosed or were a part of a suicide pact or something?' 

Jonas just shook his head, swallowing audibly, face troubled. 

'Nah man...' He began, taking a steadying breath. 'The chilling thing is, well... their bodies were found like... _completely drained of their blood_.' 

Every muscle, every vein, every fiber of Isak's physical being went numb, every milliliter of his blood stilling. The boy's head spun, vision flecking, his clothing, despite the frigid Norwegian weather, suddenly feeling much too warm, tight and restrictive around him, the adolescent breaking into a sweat, his heart battering against his ribcage as he began to struggle for air. 

'...What?' He managed to choke out, vertigo taking over, blurring his thought-processes. 

_Fuck._

'It's some next level, X-files shit.' Magnus added with a nod and although the comment was joking, offhand, sincere apprehension and compassion showed in the teenager’s face, the imprudent boy, although approaching the situation lightheartedly, clearly grasping the depth of it all. 

Isak wanted to vomit, his empty stomach lurching. 

'What kind of _animal_ does that to innocent people?' Mahdi said solemnly, looking at the concrete ground in saddened disgust. 

Isak tried to get oxygen into his lungs, coughing, his respiratory system strained, the boy stumbling in his place, heading for the ground. 

_Breathe. Just. Breathe. He just needed to breathe._

He steadied himself, focusing on a small leaf that had fallen to the pavement, green and glistening, dusted with dew, the teenager using the piece of foliage as his point of focus, fighting the pull of gravity, grasping to the last fraying threads of reality. 

_It was okay._

_It might not have been Even._

_There were probably other vampires in Oslo._

It was all bullshit. Of course it wasn't another vampire. Right to his bones, the boy knew the truth, it all made perfect sense. The pieces fit together immaculately. 

_Isak felt like he might just pass out and die right there _.__

 _ _'Their poor families.' Jonas murmured lowly, arms crossed tightly to his own chest.__

 _ _

The rest of his friends' conversation went unheard by Isak, the adolescent losing touch, helpless under the full-force his anxiety, dropping to a crouch, his hands clamping over his own ears, trying uselessly to shut off from his loud, racing thoughts. 

_'Soon, Isak.'_

The vampires words repeated in his head, haunting him, causing him to tremble. 

_'Soon you'll realize how much of a monster I really am.'_

The teenager dry retched, soft hands falling onto concrete, skin becoming scraped, the boy coughing violently into the ground, wheezing before nausea took over and he threw up, frozen in his place, unmoving even as concerned faces appeared around him, the echo of Jonas' voice barely touching him in his state of utter shock.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Blood is life! Blood is life!"  
> \- Nosferatu, 1922


	15. "I can't help it... it's in my nature"

In the midst of everything, it had started raining. Isak hadn't noticed the abnormally sunny day transform rapidly into a stormy one, not as he was being pulled from the ground, not as he was ushered to the front office and excused from school, not as Jonas called Eskild, insisting that the blonde teenager was in no state to catch the bus home by himself. He didn't notice as his friends waited with him outside of the school building, not as he was overcome with humiliation when Eskild arrived, the young man getting out of the car and bounding towards Isak, encasing the boy in an unwanted, smothering bear-hug in front of all of his peers, the adolescent protesting like a child getting publicly kissed by his mother, pulling away from the embrace and blushing scarlet, despite everything. 

He sat in the car, watching the rain on the window, the droplets of water gliding lazily down the glassy surface, catching on one and other as they dropped to the rim, pooling, obscuring everything that existed beyond the confines of the vehicle, leaving Isak in a bubble, a capsule, feeling quite removed from the outside world. 

He tried not to cry, to keep it all in until he could be alone in his room, safe to crumble, safe to break apart, but somehow, he couldn't. As if to emulate the rain, small tears escaped Isak's eyes and rolled down his cheeks, gathering at the corners of his mouth until he tasted salt. He swatted them away, hating his life choices, hating himself and still, after everything, unable to hate the boy he was crying about. 

'I know it's hard.' Eskild said sympathetically when he noticed Isak's quiet emotional outburst, turning down the Rihanna album he had started playing on the car speakers and sighing. 

'But, unfortunately, these things happen.' The older man shook his head dejectedly, eyes focused on the road. 'I'll never understand why someone would want to hurt another person.' He said simply. 'It's a messed up world.' 

Isak almost burst out laughing, despite his tears, despite the aching in his chest, despite it all. In the past month alone, the teenager had gotten bitten by a vampire, attacked and almost sexually assaulted in the streets, had been kidnapped, bound, forced to watch someone get murdered with a shoe and had nearly gotten murdered himself at least two, maybe three times. 

Isak Valtersen knew how _messed up_ the world was. _Messed up_ was a fucking understatement. 

*** 

Eskild had only gotten out of work for a short while, having bargained with his boss just so he could pick up Isak, apologizing repeatedly before leaving the distressed adolescent in front of their apartment, the boy letting himself in, kicking off his sneakers and making his way to his room, unable to see anything around him as he did so, his panic having melted into cold sadness, sadness mixed with something else. 

_Anger._

Hot anger pulsated through him, boiling his blood, misting his thoughts. The boy slammed the door of his room, the walls shaking slightly at the force as it shut. 

_He was stupid. So fucking stupid._

He grasped at his face, wanting to drag his nails into it, scorning himself. 

_Even was a vampire._

Isak had known this since the night they first met. He had known what that meant but he had subconsciously chosen to ignore it, caught up in the soft web of Even's kindness, the delicacy of his charm, his sweet kisses, his touch. 

He had been ignorant, compromising his own intelligence, blinded by love and he was so angry with himself, so angry with himself for being such a complete imbecile, for being _weak,_ so _weak_ and so lonely and so entirely desperate for affection and care that he had invited a murderer into his room and let himself become infatuated. 

A murderer that Isak _still_ loved. A murderer, even at that moment, as he was pacing his room, palms sweaty with rage, that the boy still missed. As he shuddered with painful infuriation, shaking with tears, the teenager found himself filled with longing, realizing the only person he wanted comfort from in that moment was Even, _a killer,_ someone who had taken the lives of three students and many many others, the thought unimaginable to Isak. 

How could someone who was so careful and loving and unbelievably soulful ever commit such crimes? How could someone so _human_ and _soft_ and _breakable_ ever bring death to another? Isak couldn't even fathom it, the vampire's hands - so strong yet so gentle with the boy - exacting violence on innocent people. How could those eyes, those liquid-blue eyes, the color of the sky on a clear summer's day, watch the light fade from someone's face as they died, as he killed them. 

It was unthinkable. Inconceivable. But it was the truth, the ugly, ugly truth. 

Even killed people. 

_Innocent_ people. 

Isak had known this fact the entire time, but like all other ugly truths in his life, he had omitted it, ran from it. 

_Pathetic_ , he thought, overcome with the urge to throw something. 

_He was so pathetic._

Isak rashly decided to feed his sudden destructive desire and stormed over to his shelf, coughing out dry tears as he took a hold of a decorative plate that sat there, a present from Germany given to him by some aunt he no longer spoke to, the boy throwing the insignificant item with unrestrained rage, watching as the multicolored disc met it's end, shattering into pieces against his wall, splitting, the thick shards falling around him, hitting the floor like spent bullets. 

He knew it was imprudent, but it made Isak feel strangely better, the boy still crying as he followed the plate with a small ceramic vase his mother had given him, choking on his tears as it endured the same fate, bursting into fragments, a desolate analogy of the teenager and his foolish broken heart. 

'Isak!' He heard a voice shout from the hallway. 

Isak turned to the doorway of his room, realizing he hadn't been home alone as a stunned Linn came staggering in, not quite shocked but concerned, her face baring a look of confusion. 

'You’re throwing plates at the wall!?' She exclaimed, gesturing wildly to the mess Isak had made, the teenager still weeping hysterically, falling back onto his bed, sitting upright, holding his head in his hands. 

_He was fucking insane._

'What the fuck, man?' She complained, her voice becoming gentler. 'Calm down.' 

_Calm down._

He couldn't calm down. His mind was turning on itself. He wanted to throw up again, but didn't have anything left in him, so he just sat there, deflated, trembling as Linn sighed and left the room. His head lifted slightly, watching in numb wonder as the disgruntled red-head returned with a broom and a large rubbish bag, wavering slightly as she cleared up the mess. 

_Why was she helping him?_

'I'm way too cooked for this shit right now.' She muttered to herself, the whole affair taking a good fifteen minutes longer than it should have. 

When the girl was finished she pushed the rubbish bag aside and hobbled over to Isak, sitting down beside him and firmly wrenching his head from his hands, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck like he was a dog and forcing him to face her. 

'Look at me.' She demanded, the boy pulling back in shock as the girl slapped him, right across the face, the blow, not hard, but sharp, alarming his senses. 

Her grey eyes were wide, intense and determined. 

'Why'd you do that?' He asked, no longer crying, coming to his senses and looking back at her with astonishment. 

'Whatever this is, you need to snap out of it.' She exclaimed, the boy flinching as she slapped him again. 

_Why did she keep doing that?_

'What’s wrong?' She asked sharply, interrogating him. 'Are you on something, Isak? Have you started taking hard drugs?' Her eyes burned into the boy, grabbing both of his shoulders aggressively. 'Because it might seem like a good idea when you're at the club and the dealer's hot but it took me like three weeks without sleep and a whole lot of teeth grinding before I got over my ketamine addiction...' 

Isak squirmed; stopping her hand as it flew to slap him again, defending himself. 

'What?' He shrieked, confused. 'No. I haven't started taking hard drugs.' He frowned, her words sinking in. 'Wait- you were on ketamine?' 

The girls’ antagonistic posture loosened, shuffling in her place. 

'Don't worry about that.' She said dismissively, bringing the attention back to Isak. 'What’s your problem dude? You're acting like a fucking spaz.' 

Isak blinked. Although Linn's words and actions were harsh, it appeared that she cared, her eyes tentative, worried. 

'I'm just... I'm confused...' Isak murmured unstably, a few tears returning. 'D-did you know that three students were found dead in Stensparken this morning?' 

'Really?' She said, grimacing, the information obviously news to her. 'Fuck, man.' She exclaimed, letting Isak go and looking thoughtful for a moment. 'What is this, America?' 

I...' The boy began, voice shaken. 'I just can't deal with it.' 

Linn nodded in understanding, dragging herself lethargically from the bed and extending a hand. 

'Come on. I'm sorry for slapping you.' 

For whatever reason, Isak took her hand, letting her pull him from the bed and put an arm around his shoulders, patting him in a stiff, robotic way that denoted how difficult it was for her to show affection. 

'Come sit with me in the living room.' She said, guiding the distrait teenager out of the door. 'You're alright, okay? Just chill, take it easy.' 

Even though Linn's instructions were impossible to follow, the boy being filled completely with the residual remnants of anger and profound sorrow, he let the girl walk him to the lounge room, his tears subsiding completely as she helped him onto the couch and sat beside him, even going to the effort if flinging a little bit of her blanket over his feet. 

'Pizza roll?' She offered, pushing a plate of cold, oven-baked pastries under his nose. 

'No thanks.' Isak murmured, not at all hungry, stomach curling as the smell of cheese and bacon flooded his nostrils. 

'Don't be a little bitch, Isak.' She muttered, brow furrowing. 'You're upset, have a pizza roll.' 

'Okay.' He said in obedience, taking one just to appease her, holding the slightly stale piece of food in his hand. 

The boy let himself sink into the sofa a little, getting comfortable and following the colorful shapes on the television, blinking slightly as he realized what he was watching. The screen was alight, bright magenta and blue filling the frame, various visually-striking women with large, mounted hair and decadently heavy make-up speaking in voices that seemed much too deep, this confusing Isak momentarily before he realized that none of the females shown were _actually_ women at all. 

'What is this?' He murmured absently, confused. 

'Ru Paul's Drag Race.' Linn said flatly, eyes trained on the screen. 

'What?' 

Isak had no idea what that was. He knew about drag racing but from what he could see on the television there certainly weren't any cars involved. 

The boy frowned. 

'It's like America's Next Top Model but with drag queens.' She muttered, like that was explanation enough, her eyes glued to the screen. 

The only thing Isak knew about America's Next Top Model was from an episode of Family Guy in which Tyra Banks turned into an iguana. 

'I haven't seen that show.' He mumbled, taking a bite of the pizza roll that was still in his hand and immediately regretting it, his stomach twisting, the boy gagging a little. 

'You should watch it.' Linn sniggered, not noticing. 'It's just, like a bunch of anorexic basic bitches doing a few photo-shoots and screaming at each other. It's hilarious.' 

Isak just nodded, continuing to watch the television, finding the loud colors weirdly therapeutic, turning to gaze at the red-head as she laughed at a joke, the teenager missing it, far too internally disturbed to get into the program completely. 

'I didn't know you were into shit like this.' He murmured abstractedly. 'Aren't drag queens more of an Eskild thing?' 

She scoffed. 

'Yep. The gay bastard has burned this shit over all of our DVDs.' Linn shoved a pizza roll into her mouth, her words becoming muffled as she chewed. 'I'm so stoned that I thought I was watching A Nightmare on Elm Street for like fifteen whole minutes before I started to wonder why Freddy Krueger didn't have wrinkles or needles for fingers and was dressed like a beautiful woman.' 

Isak almost laughed at that and although he was in a world of emotional turmoil, a small smile played on his lips. _Linn was funny_ , he thought, the boy wondering idly why he hadn't yet realized that. 

*** 

Isak woke up in a daze, not realizing that he had fallen asleep, his hair in his eyes, obfuscating his vision as they fluttered open. He had watched Ru Paul's Drag Race with Linn for a few hours, smoking a small amount of weed with her when she offered it, the girls’ presence oddly comforting, the teenager ultimately not wanting to be left alone. 

It was no longer daytime, the only light in the room produced by the television, a blue glow emanating from the device, Isak's worn-out face resting on something soft, warm, the boy snuggling into it, reminded of when he was five years old and his mother would hold him, calmed by the smell of soap and lavender. 

'I don't want to sound rude...' He heard Linn's voice sound from above him, cutting through his serenity, the comfortable surface beneath him shifting. '...But can you please get off me? Your face is on my left tit.' 

Isak jerked back at this, affronted, embarrassment pulsing through him, face going red. 

'I'm sorry.' He mumbled as he came to a quick stand, like he'd been struck by lightning, shuffling away awkwardly from the confused young woman. 

'T-thanks for everything.' He stammered, too mortified to look her in the eye. 

The adolescent turned, speedily exiting the room, stumbling a little over his own feet. 

'Whatever.' He heard Linn mutter in the background of his tumbling thoughts, the boy regaining full consciousness as he staggered down the hallway. 

It was pitch black when he entered his room, the teenager wavering slightly at the doorway, hand blindly searching for the light switch, finding the nub after a few seconds of frustration, the boy turning as the space became lit, shrieking, his heart jolting in his chest as cold fear manifested in his gut and he stumbled back, his eyes locking on the ominous creature that stood in the center of his room, piercing through the adolescent's momentary distraction, the boy's world morphing from a hazy dream into a vivid nightmare, willed by the vampire and his deadly blue eyes, turned black, pupils blown. 

'Fuck!' Isak screeched, reeling, heart racing as Even stared into him, hauntingly beautiful, his pale hair pristine, his face cold and untroubled. 

'Isak?' Linn called out from the living room, speech muffled by whatever snack she was eating. 

'Everything alright?' 

'Y-yeah... I just stepped on a piece of glass... I'm fine...' He replied, not quite sure if he was fine at all, his body trembling, heart pounding. 

'Okay. Take it easy, man.' The girl shouted, drowned out a little as she heightened the volume of the television. The boy closed the door with unsteady hands, turning to face the vampire again, who just stood there, eyeing him challengingly, the two young men staring at each other for an elongated moment, the creature being the first to speak, breaking the insufferable silence. 

'Isak.' He murmured, register unfriendly, blank, devoid of the usual tenderness he possessed when speaking to the boy, devoid of his velvety undertone. 

'Y-you...' Isak started, recoiling, back pressed against the door, looking steadily at the ground, petrified. 

'Please...' The human's voice shook, dropped to a whisper. 'Please... tell me you didn't do that...' 

'Do what?' Even asked. 

The questioning words should have been a comfort to Isak, however, the vampire's tone was sinister, taunting, the boy wincing, eyes squeezing shut, the creature looming over him, casting a shadow, standing there smiling like a sinister figure from an early nineteenth century horror movie. 

_Even knew exactly what he had done._

Isak was unable to believe it. 

'The three students...' The teenager whispered, frame shaking, eyes cast down, unable to look at Even, at that face that still made his heart ache, at those full, blood-stained lips that had kissed him so many times, lips that the boy still wanted to kiss, behind which sat pointed canines, teeth that had drawn blood completely from three children, teeth that had killed. 

'Even...' Isak gasped breathily, eyes widening at the admission, the nightmare fully formed, the boy shrinking from it, wanting to wake up. 

'What?' Even spat, full of acidity. 'Why are you surprised, Isak?' He took a step forward, measured, calm. The boy slid against the wall, backing towards the corner of the room. 'I'm a vampire.' He pointed out, as if it wasn't obvious. 'What do you think I live on, fucking hamburgers?' 

He laughed darkly, the sound that usually delighted Isak causing the blood to drain from his face. 

'But...' The boy started, tears beginning to sting his eyes. 'They were just innocent kids...' 

Even laughed again at this, his voice coming out solemn, flat. 

'No one is innocent in this world, Isak. Not even you.' 

Anger began to boil yet again within the human, the boy's gaze lifting to the vampire, the teenager shattering inwardly as he was met yet again by a distant, shark-like stare, the boy trying with all the strength he had not to break eye-contact, glaring back at the creature defiantly. 

'Y-you did this on purpose...' The adolescent murmured, eyes darting as he came to the realization. 

'You knew they went to my school. You're trying to scare me away...' 

It was the truth. Isak was sure of it. Maybe Even wasn't good and maybe he was a murderer, but there was no way in the infernal pits of hell that the teenager would ever believe that the vampire didn't love him, didn't care about him. Not after all that he had done for the human, all the times he had saved him, how the creature despised himself, pure pain in his exquisite features when he spoke of hurting Isak, even to the smallest degree. 

The boy might have been stupid but he wasn't stupid enough to fall for Even's facade, as convincing as it was. 

This was all strategic, he was trying to make the teenager hate him and run away from him in fear, and although Isak certainly felt fear, he wasn't running. 

He could never run from Even. 

'Oh, you have me all figured out, do you?' Even mocked, eyes glinting. 'I killed them because they were there, _because I could._ It had nothing to do with _you_.' 

Isak cowered. 

Just because he knew the cruelty was all a part of the performance, it didn't mean it didn't hurt. Because it did, it hurt a lot. 

'I've killed, hundreds, no, thousands of people in my time. You know that, right, sweetheart?' His smile, an expression that always looked so lovely and bright on his face was warped, empty and threatening, the sight that usually made Isak's heart flutter causing it to sink instead, the boy inching back further as the vampire took a few more graceful steps towards him. 

'I'm a fucking monster.' The vampire reiterated, backing Isak into the corner, standing a meter away. 'I've kept trying to tell you, but I guess it's true that you can't form a sound argument without some primary evidence.' 

'Y-you aren't a monster-' Isak stopped himself short, the words having come out on automatic. 

Maybe Even _was_ a monster. But he had a soul, Isak had experienced it first hand, let it become one with his own. 

Maybe Even _was_ bad, but maybe he didn't have to be. 

'What the fuck is wrong with you?' The creature jeered maliciously, the boy becoming small under his lover's stony rigidity. 'You're really still in denial, even now, even when I've given you indisputable proof?' 

'I know you, Even.' The boy whimpered, shaky yet sure of it himself. 'Y-you're not like this.' He gulped, withdrawing. 

'Why are you doing this?' The teenager pleaded in a whisper. 'It's not you, I know you...' 

'No. You don't. You know nothing, Isak.' He said harshly, pronouncing each syllable. 'You're just a kid. A stupid, stupid kid.' 

And even though it was all an act, the words wounded the boy deeply, inevitable tears beginning to burst from his eyes, a sob tearing from his chest, the human heaving, stung. 

'Why would you say that...' He wept quietly. 

If only for a spilt second, something changed in the vampire's face, his eyes becoming indescribably soft, the older boy blinking, hardening again, shutting off his emotions. 

'Because, Isak, it's true.' He went on sadistically. 'You don't know me, I'm psychotic, I'm a killer. That's all I'm ever going to be. The only thing I care about and will ever care about is _blood_.' 

The boy shivered. 

'W-what about me...?' He heard himself ask, even though he knew it was all bullshit, Isak's vulnerability taking over, projecting outwardly. 

'Oh, Isak.' The vampire crooned. 'Are you really so desperate for love that you would accept it from someone who kills people? Someone who has done nothing but hurt you?' 

He really wasn't holding back, trying to do a thorough job, to break the boy down completely. The teenager gripped at his own stomach, pained. 

'Even...' He whispered, wanting mercy. 

'It really is _pathetic_.' The creature hissed, giving none, reducing the distance between them, hands on the wall on either side of the boy, standing over him, aiming to physically intimidate him and succeeding. 

Isak broke again at this, wheezing, the particular choice of word hitting him where it hurt, violently uprooting all of his insecurities and throwing them in his face. 

_Pathetic._

It wasn't inaccurate. 

'Y-you're just trying to make me hate you-' The boy sobbed quietly, desperate to pull Even from the act, not quite sure that he had it in himself to withstand the brutality for another second. 

'Do you?' The vampire jeered bitterly, the same softness flickering over his face, like a glimmer of light in darkness, coming and going even quicker than the last. 

Isak lost all composure, sobbing so hard his shoulders quaked, leaning forward as he coughed out tears, gasping for air, unintentionally pressing into Even's chest as he did so, shifting back quickly, feeling miserably unwelcome there. 

'No...' The human cried helplessly. 'I know I'm pathetic... And stupid... B-but...I can't' He faltered, breath hitching violently. '... I can't hate you.' 

The boy hadn't done it on purpose, but something about his emotional transparency worked, the vampire's armor failing, all astringency leaving his angelic face, his arms dropping. 

'Isak...' He murmured softly, a hand reaching to stroke the boy's tear-soaked face. 

'No.' Isak protested weakly, edging back from the touch, angry at Even for trying to elude him, for his cruel and unnecessary words. 'Don't fucking touch me.' 

The vampire crumpled at this, face riddled with torment, unable to stand the sight of Isak recoiling from him with such venom. 

'I didn't... I didn't mean... I...' The older boy murmured, unable to find the right thing to say, Isak hating to see him so hopeless, giving in, forgiving him and letting the creature pull the human into his arms, the adolescent weeping into Even's shirt. 

'W-why are you being like this?' He asked almost inaudibly, nuzzling into him, inhaling his scent, the young man smelling like lilac, like leather, the mortal wanting to be forever in his arms. 

'I'm sorry, baby...' The vampire purred, chin resting in Isak's hair, hand settled gently at his back. 'I'm the pathetic one... Not you...' 

Even pulled away, carefully plying the boy back to look at him with sincerity, oceanic irises warm as he leant in, resting his nose against Isak's, breathing heavily, the human's hands moving to grip the collar of the vampire's shirt, shuddering. 

'I'm so sorry.' Even's voice fell to a whisper, his warm breath on the teenager's lips. 

Isak knew it was the last thing he should want in that moment, right after being verbally and physically terrorized by the creature, but all the boy desired was Even's mouth on his. Weeping softly as he did so, the human tilted his chin up, as if asking for a kiss, the vampire hesitating, blinking in slight apprehension as he lifted his cold hands to the boy’s jaw, holding the human like he was the most precious jewel in all existence, lips brushing the teenager's, parting them, warm and gentle, Isak's thoughts spinning, heart beating fast at the headiness of it all. 

_What was Isak thinking?_

_What was wrong with him?_

_Why the fuck did he still want this?_

But the boy didn't pull away, not as Even's mouth became demanding, fervent, their tongues grazing, the creature’s hands shifting to the human's hair, tangling into it, pulling slightly, a little too hard, the boy whining, breaking the kiss only to gasp for air. 

'Isak...' Even murmured as the human panted, uncertainty lacing the vampire's pretty features. 

But Isak knew what he wanted, what they both wanted and what he was going to get, even if he had to push and grovel and beg. 

The vampire was going to leave again, this Isak knew for sure and if this was possibly the last time he was going to see him, as much as the thought tortured the boy, then he was going to make it worthwhile, take all that he could from the creature, burn himself into the immortal's memory, leave his scent all over his skin. 

He wanted to make sure that when Even left him, he wouldn't be the only one marred, haunted by the memory of their love. 

If he was going to shatter to the ground, the vampire was going to go down with him. 

Filled with a new level of determination, the human grasped at the back of Even's neck, kissing him with unbridled want, skin buzzing, limbs melting as the creature kissed the boy in return, dominating the embrace, making Isak squeal as he wrenched at the teenager's golden curls, consuming him, drawing out his breaths. 

Every line of their bodies were pushed together, Isak pressed into the wall, the vampire grunting, lifting the boy by the hips and forcing his thighs open, the adolescent wrapping his legs eagerly around the creature's slim waist, grinding down on Even as he held him, both young men hard, tense with arousal. 

It was all becoming too easy, too good to be true, the boy grumbling in frustration as the older male pulled back with perceivable reluctance, looking at the human with conflicted eyes, trying to gather all of his willpower, trying to stop his more primal side from having it's way, trying not to let Isak win. 

_That was just too fucking bad._

'We can't.' He breathed out, attempting to seem firm but failing, the boy frowning, pushing forward in his hold, sliding himself against the vampire's stiffened shaft in rebellion, the creature letting out a dry moan, eyes blackening, incensed by Isak's defiance. 

'We can't.' Even repeated, becoming slightly more resolute. 

The human then realized that brashness was not going to work. 

'Please...' Isak whispered softly, turning submissive, inching back a little in Even's hold, green eyes going big, pleading, still slightly glossy with tears. 

'Please... Evy...' He begged, leaning in, stopping just short of the vampire's face and licking his own lips shyly, baiting him. 

Even visibly liquefied, blue eyes filling with lust, wild. 

'Isak...' He groaned, deep and low. 

'Please.' Isak whined quietly, looking at the vampire through his own eyelashes, voice breaking. 

It didn't take much more than that, the creature closing in on him, their kiss reigniting, hot and sweet and overpowering, the vampire gripping the boy's waist as he ground into his body, the friction reducing them both to nothing, something switching in Even, the vampire dragging Isak from the wall, carrying the boy and throwing him on his back in an unceremonious fashion down onto the bed, well and truly having lost the battle. 

Isak cried for bittersweet joy as the vampire crawled over him, their bodies becoming a tangle of limbs, wasting no time, the creature's eyes turning almost monstrous, kissing ravenously at the boy's jaw and neck, grasping his thin shirt in a fisted hand, the human's eyes widening as Even tore it off of him, the fabric turning to shreds, Isak gasping, his cock throbbing in response. 

The vampire's hot lips came down on the boy's bare chest, tasting him all over, licking and sucking and toying with his nipples, smoldering tongue swirling over the pink, over-sensitive skin, Isak moaning, on fire, overwhelmed with sickening yearning. 

'You're breathtaking...' Even groaned, mouth trailing to the teenager's lower stomach, about to give the teenager's jeans the same treatment as his shirt when the boy stopped him, unbuttoning the pants and sliding them down his legs himself, much to the vampire's dismay. 

They were Jonas', and Isak was not entirely sure that his friend would appreciate his leant clothing getting savagely torn in half. 

Even yanked off the adolescent's underwear, fingers ripping holes in them, the boy kicking them off of his ankles as the creature licked up the teenager's bare thighs, hot breath nearing the space in between his legs, the human quivering as the vampire's wet, scalding tongue reached his entrance, not expecting it, balking as Even caressed the soft tissue, pawing the human's hardened shaft in his hand as he shifted to plunge a single finger into Isak, making him wail in pleasure. 

'Even...' The boy moaned fretfully, wanting more. 'Even...' 

The vampire stalled, leaving Isak, gasping on the bed, legs wide, as he retrieved some lubricant from the top draw, applying the cold solution to the teenager's ass, inserting another firm digit, and then a third, Isak trembling, wanting to skip the formalities, wanting him inside. 

Somewhere in all of the hysteria, Even, too, had lost his clothes, the boy grappling at the young man's naked shoulders as he fingered him, not at all prepped but not at all caring. 

'Inside... Please...' Isak begged, pulling demandingly at Even's hair, angering him momentarily, the creature snarling, his fingers becoming more aggressive inside Isak, twisting into him, causing the adolescent to tremble with stinging euphoria. 

'I... I need you inside of me.' The teenager pleaded in continuation, voice devoid of breath, Even losing it and wrenching his long fingers out of the boy, his face suddenly at Isak's, appearing with lightning speed, forehead pressed against the human's, eyes dark. 

'Now...' The adolescent whimpered as Even's stiff cock throbbed against his hole, Isak's breathing jagged, strained. 'Please...' 

Even obeyed, a hand curling beneath Isak's neck, cupping it gently and lifting his face in order to kiss the human, the softness of the vampire’s lips contrasting with the stiffness of his cock as he entered the thrashing, moaning boy. 

It hurt, almost worse than the first time, Isak's body, although baring the ramifications of arousal, tensed around the girth of Even's length as he pushed into him, the boy stifling a scream, unable to completely relax due to the heavy fear in the pit of his stomach. 

Fear of his lover’s imminent and impending abandonment, fear of the creature himself. 

As Even tore into Isak, baby-blue eyes piercing him, the vampire let out deep, primitive growls, that punctuated every thrust, starting at an easy, unhurried rhythm, becoming increasingly frantic, hitting into the human as his strong arms locked around him, fingernails digging into soft skin, the teenagers half-shut eyes prickling, threatening tears, welling up with the manifestations of both the emotional and bodily agony with which the boy was being inflicted. 

Isak liked the physical pain, he liked the way it seared through him, hot and bold and unforgiving, he liked it because it felt honest, it felt real. He wanted Even to do his worst, pound him harder, bite savagely into his flesh, leave him cut and bleeding all over, he wanted the creature to use him completely, to choke him, gag him, to leave him in pieces. 

But Even would never degrade Isak like that, his hands and movements rough and claiming, although never violent, never disrespectful, the older boy stopping between painful thrusts to place soft kisses in the human’s hair, on his shoulder, his face, his mouth; everywhere, this brand of tenderness hurting more than anything else. 

Each kiss felt like a promise, a promise of love, a promise of protection, promises Even was never going to keep. 

'Even...' Isak cried out quietly, gripping the creature’s shoulders, a delicate whine on his lips. 

'Perfect.' The vampire moaned, leaning down to plant a kiss on Isak's forehead as he fucked him with raw aggression. 'My perfect boy.' 

Isak quivered at this. He wasn't perfect. And he wasn't Even's boy. Even was leaving him. The teenager belonged to nobody, had nobody, all over again. The realization of this fact broke him down, the adolescent breaking into a quiet sob as he was pounded, broiling, silent tears sprawling from his pale green eyes. 

The vampire noticed this almost instantaneously, lips brushing the teenager's throat, dragging himself from the boy's quaking body, pulling out, his angelic features lit with concern. 

'Baby...' Even murmured worriedly, a careful hand moving to caress Isak's wet face, the adolescent lashing out in response, desperate to get the creature back inside of him. 

'No...' The boy sobbed, grasping fretfully at Even's hips. 'No... Don't stop.' 

The vampire's murky eyes were troubled, shaded with worry, his warm mouth pressing soothing kisses onto Isak's stained cheeks, trying to eliminate the tears there, trying to dry them. Isak shuddered. 

'Don't cry, baby.' Even cooed softly, fingers stroking at the boys golden hair which lay strewn across his forehead, tangled and dampened by pain-induced sweat. 'Are you hurt?' 

'No.' Isak lied, sniveling. 

The boy was hurting all over. His bones, his flesh, his soul. He hurt so much he thought he might be dying, but he didn't care. There was nothing to live for, nothing left for him, not without Even. 

'Baby...' The guilt-stricken vampire whispered, groaning as Isak's shaky hand moved to grip the creature's hard, slick cock, the boy growing desperate, guiding his lover back inside of him and rubbing as he did so, this causing Even to lose all resolve, a low growl escaping him as he took a hold of the human’s arms, Isak letting out a triumphant little whine as his wrists were pinned roughly to his sides, the vampire keeping the boy prisoner and gliding his shaft against his sensitive entrance, sinking into the adolescent's nubile body with impassioned force, the mortal's back snapping, shivering with gratification. 

'H-harder...' The boy whimpered shyly as Even began again at a slow, gentle rhythm, the teenager clawing at the vampire's back; wanting to be fucked so hard that he forgot all that was troubling his brain, so hard that he forgot the misery that, much like cancer, was spreading through him, eating up the soft tissue of his mind and body. 

'Harder...' Isak gasped. 'Please.' 

The creature moaned at the request, complying and slamming destructively into the pliant human beneath him, his cock hitting Isak's prostate with such devastating force that it caused the boy to convulse, crying out in agonizing, soul-shattering pleasure, the vampire's blistering mouth at the teenagers neck, sucking and then biting gently into the tender skin there, drawing blood, another screech escaping the adolescent's flushed lips, head bent back in black ecstasy. 

The older boy lapped up every last bit of the thick crimson liquid that seeped from the human, pulling out of him momentarily to lick at the hot blood that trailed in a single line down Isak's sculpted torso, all the way to his naval. 

'N-no.' The adolescent cried out again, squirming under the vampire's warm tongue, needing Even inside of him, needing him to fill him, to rid him of his emptiness. 

'Fuck me, Even...' He clenched at the creature's waist, shuddering with frustration, hot all over with desire. 'Please... Don't stop... please...' 

This wasn't like the first time. Even wasn't playing with him, teasing him, drawing it out. This was raw, unadulterated want, pure passion, this was two bodies crashing together, two hearts colliding and violently breaking apart. This was pain, this was love, this was the bittersweet end. When Isak begged, the vampire obliged immediately, re-entering him with urgent velocity, the boy whining in pained delight, hips lifting to accommodate his lover, wishing he could hold the young man there all eternity, wishing he could stop him from leaving. Moaning and crying as he did so, tears streaming from his burning eyes, the human broke free from Even's hold on his wrists and wrapped his arms weakly around the vampire's neck, lifting his head to kiss the other male hungrily, tonguing him, tasting the blood, the creature reciprocating, his mouth insatiable and all-consuming, finger's threading in Isak's hair as his thrusting became increasingly rampant, the human mewling with every hit, painfully close. 

'Isak...' Even moaned, plummeting into the boy with ferocity, the teenager losing himself, drifting, mind turning to static as he was fucked into orgasm, spasming wildly, flooding tears gathering at his throat, the vampire holding the human still as he came inside of him, hot and burning, sending Isak even higher, the two young men becoming one as they exploded, soaring, reveling in awe of what they did to each other, of what they were letting go of. 

Even, spent, collapsed onto the mortal, weighing him down, kissing him on the fragile skin below both of his eyes, soft hands stroking his jaw, playing with a small curl at his temple, looking deeply into his irises, silently telling the boy how sorry he was, how utterly sorry he was for it all. 

Isak continued to cry quietly, the vampire, again, trying to kiss away his tears, the attempt in vain as they were ever-flowing, the teenager not quite sure if he would ever stop crying, if the profound cuts that Even had left him with, both figurative and literal, would ever completely heal. 

A part of him wanted to emotionally extort Even, threaten his own suicide, scream and yell and kick until he got his way. A part of him wanted to somehow restrain the creature, keeping him hostage, stopping him from leaving, stopping him from making this infernal mistake. 

But even if that were physically possible, the adolescent would never have gone through with it, because love, he had learnt, was not about possession, it was about freedom, and if he truly loved Even, even though he knew the vampire had it all wrong, he had to let him go. 

He didn’t move as the older boy kissed him once more, delicately, fondly, the embrace feeling more like an act of violence, Even’s warm blue eyes burning lovingly into the human, almost ruined by the sorrow that they held, but not quite, still infinitely beautiful. 

He didn’t move as the vampire’s weight left him, as the phantasmagorical young man returning only to clean the boy’s tainted flesh, hands gentle as he dabbed him dry, handling the juvenile as if he were made of fine silk, like he was delicate, precious, something that should be treated with only the utmost of care. 

He didn’t move as the creature pulled the blankets around him, his wails almost silent, the human’s mind going numb as Even encased him in warmth, gathering the duvet up to his bare clavicle, the heat not entirely touching the youth, who was chilled to the bone with grief. 

He didn’t move, still, as Even took one last, long look at the boy whose heart he had so thoroughly broken, as if trying to commit his every feature to memory, Isak turning away in his bed, unable to watch him go, back facing the vampire as he moved to the window. 

‘I’ll never forget you, Isak.’ He heard Even murmur tenderly, voice charged with subdued passion. 

‘Not if I live for a million years.’ 

Isak heard a discreet thud of feet hitting grass, low and muted but sounding like a gunshot to the mortal, signifying an end, a death, an irreplaceable loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I can't help it... it's in my nature"  
> \- The Crying Game, 1992
> 
> I know this is an emotional roller coaster and sometimes a bit dark, but it's very necessary for the genre. If it's getting too much for some of you, I understand completely. Don't worry, I love Evak and want them to be together in every universe just as much as all of you do. I'm not going to give anything away, but I will say, do not stress, I have some cool shit planned and I wouldn't start a thematically layered story if I wasn't prepared to fully explore it, and that's simply what I am doing. Please leave feedback, you beautiful beings, I am sorry for all the pain.


	16. "How beautiful it is and how easily it can be broken"

Getting his heart broken by Even the second time around was different. Instead of pain, instead of crippling despair and stinging tears and shattering agony, Isak just felt numb, almost like his soul had been pulled right from his body. He felt nothing, and somehow, it was so much worse. 

Time lulled by so slowly, every minute torture, drawn out, empty, passing at a harrowingly sluggish rate but passing all the same, two weeks dragging by, the teenager barely leaving his room, only sometimes forcing himself to get up and join the living when he absolutely had to. He missed out on a lot of school, often feeling far too futile to face the day, to face the sunlight, the infernal, blinding sunlight that the adolescent would block out, drawing his blinds, ignoring the world and festering alone in the full and comforting embrace of darkness. When he did attend school, Isak would just sit quietly in class, unable to do so much as pick up a pencil, just staring at the blank screen of his laptop, a shell, shrinking into his seat. At lunch, he barely spoke to his friends, hearing nothing when spoken to, forcing out fake laughs when he found it necessary, but all in all being quite gone behind the eyes, barely even there at all. 

When Isak was home, he just smoked weed, sinking cone after cone from a bong he had fashioned out of a Gatorade bottle, sitting by his window and just letting the short-lived high dull his senses even further, the experience joyless, devoid of the usual buzz he gained from marijuana. Once heavily stoned, the boy would settle on his back, laying on his bed and staring at the blank, white ceiling as his inebriated mind looped, as he tried not to think about Even, as he tried, hopelessly, not to get pulled further and further into the blinding hysteria of nothingness. 

When the teenager did think of his lover, the prospect inevitable, Isak didn't cry, his eyes unable, no tears left to be had. He was empty, squeezed of all feeling, drained of all moisture, desolate and barren, his body used, his heart, scraped clean; a wasteland. 

On a particularly dark night, fourteen days after Even had fucked him and left him and disappeared irretrievably from the dull plane of existence in which the teenager was trapped, Isak was huddled under blankets, not quite wanting to die but not quite wanting to endure the rapidity of his thoughts either, feeling exceptionally sorry for himself when he heard a dull knock at his door. 

'Isak, my love.' Eskild's irritatingly jovial voice called, the teenager groaning and burying himself further into the faint comfort of his duvet, resenting his roommate's boundless mirth. 'I made pasta, come and eat some.' 

Isak's stomach lurched. 

'I'm not hungry' he muttered in reply, flinching as he heard the door to his room open, shuddering, wanting to be left alone. 

'But I even put little pieces of hotdog in it, you love that-' Eskild went on, steps sounding, Isak stopping him short, voice cold, cutting. 

'Please, just leave me alone. I'm not hungry.' He affirmed, his back turned to his roommate, eyes trained on the sliver of yellow light that was cast from the crack of the open door, the boy pulling his quilt over his ears to drown out the light buzzing of music that emanated from the kitchen. 

He heard Eskild waver slightly on his feet, shuffling, Isak hoping this meant he would soon be gone, leaving Isak alone to dwell in the blackness he had grown so strangely fond of. 

'Is... this about the other day when I yelled at you for using my expensive lavender shampoo?' Eskild asked carefully. 'Because I've thought about it and it was silly, you can totally use it whenever you like, I'm sor-' 

The teenage boy was suddenly filled with subdued brackishness, something just short of rage, his words coming out venomous, dismissive. 

'Not everything is about you, Eskild.' He snapped, regretting his tone of voice immediately. 

Eskild may have been self-absorbed at times, but when it all came down to it, the older man was the kindest, most self-sacrificing person that Isak had ever met. The teenager loved his roommate dearly, almost like an older brother, and he knew he shouldn't have spoken to him so harshly, not after everything Eskild had done for the adolescent. 

Isak hated himself more then, curling further into his own foul being and squeezing his tired eyes shut. 

'Okay...' Eskild murmured, painfully understanding. 'Is this about that Even guy? 

Isak winced, the name causing a sharp ache to tear through his figurative heart, re-opening the wound, pulling viciously at the loose stitches that the boy had tried to implement, causing it to bleed afresh. 

'No...' He let out, voice breaking, betraying him. 

'Alright.' Eskild said gently. 'Well, whatever's up, if you need to talk about it, I'm right here.... Okay?' 

Guilt mixed with Isak's heartache, creating a bitter cocktail within him that flooded his body. 

_Why did Eskild care?_

_Why did he care when all Isak did was show him his walls?_

He couldn't fathom it. And even though Eskild deserved the truth, even though he deserved a proper explanation for all of Isak's strange behaviors and radio silence, all the boy could give him in reply was a small sound of agreence, a grunt, an unformed word, wanting nothing more than for his roommate _to just go away._

'You don't have to push me away, Isak.' The older boy murmured in the gloom, voice heavy with solemness, a rarity for Eskild. 'I really do care about you, you know that, right?' 

'Yeah.' Isak muttered. 

He hadn't known that. He had shut off from Eskild, from everyone around him, kept himself in a tight, protective bubble, never wanting to reach out, to let anyone in, never wanting to let anyone make him dependent. 

Then he had met Even and that all changed. He had lit him on fire and kissed his burns and made him feel and want and love. But the enchanting boy, like all good things, was gone now, swept into darkness, and Isak would just have to accept the bitter truth, accept that everyone he had relied on in his life, his mother, his father, Even, would inevitably fail him, leave him, pierce him with the cold hooks of abandonment. 

That was just the way it was and how it would always be. 

'Alright' Eskild said softly, getting the message. 'Well, I'll keep some pasta aside for you in a container in the fridge, in case you change your mind-' 

The boy tried to swallow down the emotion that gathered in he's throat, to smother it, stop it from reaching his lips. But it boiled within him, the teenager lifting slightly from his pillow and turning to his roommate, eyes slitted against the light, strained. 

'Eskild?' He murmured involuntarily, voice laboured. 

'Yes?' The young man said, eyes wide, backlit by the artificial lighting behind him, looking like a spiritual being, quite taken aback by the intensity on Isak's face. 

'Thanks.' The boy muttered, lowering his gaze, a feeling not dissimilar to embarrassment manifesting in his gut. 

He really was grateful. He had no idea where he would be if it weren't for Eskild Tryggvason. Probably wandering the streets, looking for his mother, probably dead. 

'For what?' Eskild asked with a slightly uneasy, slightly bashful little laugh, perceptibly flattered. 

When he spoke, Isak's voice was choked by wistfulness, heart weighted with gratitude. 

'F-for always being so nice to me even when I don't deserve it.' He hesitated, unsure of how to fully express the potency of the sentiment, stammering nervously. 'Th-thanks for caring-' 

Eskild cut him off, smiling widely, a happy grin, albeit shaded with concern. 

'Don't sweat it, baby Jesus.' He hummed tenderly, eyes warm as they centered on the squirming blond teenager before him. 'That's just what guru's are for.' 

Isak smiled at this, a microscopic upturning of his lips, but a smile all the same. 

'Goodnight, Isak.' Eskild whispered, bowing his head lightly before closing the door. 

'Night.' Was all the boy said in response, once again alone, taken by darkness and letting it have him, staring into it's endless depth, unable to calm, unable, yet again, to retreat into the catatonic serenity of unconsciousness, unable to sleep. 

*** 

Heartache wasn't the only thing that kept Isak up that night. 

Every few minutes the boy's phone went off, a small vibration sounding, the noise like a dagger in the teenagers eardrums, disturbing him, making him cringe. It was his mother, he knew that because every so often he checked the phone, only to find an avalanche of bible verses, each slightly more fanatical than the next, each making Isak shudder. 

After a few hours of tossing and turning and searching for solace but coming up empty, the boy finally wrenched himself from his bed and stumbled out of his room to make his way down the hallway. He could hear Noora from somewhere in another room, on the phone, lamenting loudly about William. 

The teenager rolled his eyes. 

William wasn't coming back from London and Even wasn't coming back from the darkness. 

_Love was dead._

Once Isak was alone in the small bathroom, the boy leaned over the sink in order to splash some water on his face, turning the faucet with an effort, his fingers shaky, cold. It was only when Isak looked at himself in the mirror that he realised how much of a mess he really was. 

It was if all of the desolation he felt within himself had manifested outwardly, his skin dry, unnaturally colorless and breaking out slightly at his forehead, his eyes red, veins popping, his dark circles definite, heavy bags sinking to the tops of his cheekbones. He appeared to have lost weight, even in such a short period of time, the boy possessing an unusually fragile quality, looking tiny in his sleep shirt, like he might just snap and fall apart into the floor. Every feature on his burnt-out face reminded him of Even. The lips Even had kissed, the eyes Even had looked into, the hair Even had pulled back fondly, the nose Even had brushed with his own. He appeared to himself only as a wasted echo of someone Even had loved, someone Even had left, someone Even would never return to. He wanted to cry, to feel that old release, but still, even as pain began to pierce through the numbness within him, he couldn't. 

So he just stared at himself, hating himself, feeling ugly and broken and _weak._

That was when something caught his eyes. A small, orange cylinder with a white cap and a little prescription sticker, glinting at him like a way out, like a promise of escape. 

Linn's sleeping pills. 

Time seemed to freeze as he grappled with himself, his hand reaching out almost subconsciously for the little bottle, holding it in his palm and looking at it tentatively, his mind drifting, thinking of sleep, deep unending sleep and refuge from the emptiness, the insurmountable hole that Even had left in his wake. 

He thought of the comfort he would get from simply disappearing. 

Isak jumped suddenly, the pills rattling in his hand as his phone, which had been sitting silently on the bathroom counter-top, gave out one loud, distinct vibration, the boy's attention instantly diverted. 

For a reason unknown to the teenager, he felt strangely compelled to check the text, even though he was sure it would just be another religious rambling from his mother. 

After taking a grounding breath, the boy placed the medication back on the vanity before reaching for his mobile with an unsteady hand in order to view the message. He frowned. 

_It wasn't from his mother. It was from unknown number._

The adolescent squinted as he read through the words that appeared on the fluorescent-lit screen, his heart beginning to pound in his chest, his breathing becoming shallow. 

**I'm not what's missing from your life now**

**I could never be the puzzle pieces**

**They say that god makes problems**

**Just to see what you can stand.**

**Before you do as the devil pleases**

**Give up the thing you love.**

Although baring religious references, this text was not from his mother. 

_Even._

_It could only be from Even._

Just as Isak began to stir with an odd strain of anxiety, sweat gathering at his spine, his dull heart fluttering and his head becoming hazy, his phone let out another sound, this time his ringtone, the flat, prescribed tune engulfing him and filling the small space within which he stood. 

Isak gulped, eyes wide as he realized the caller was also unknown. 

_Even._

With trembling fingers the boy accepted the call and pressed the phone shakily to his face, the cold glass on his cheek making him shiver. 

'Isak.' A deep male voice sounded from the other end of the line. 

Isak felt his heart plummet seven miles deep within his body, felt all feeling leave him in one quick sweep, like an exorcism, the boy feeling empty again, hollow. 

'Oh.' The teenager muttered between clenched teeth. 'Hey, dad.' 

The adolescents father sighed. 

_Why the fuck was he calling?_

'What do you want.' The boy asked with unconcealed acid. 'It's like, two in the morning.' 

He heard his dad take in another sharp breath, the boy blenching at the sound. 

The man always did that whenever something bad had happened. Something he wasn't prepared to deal with alone. 

'Your mother has lost it again.' Terje said simply, sounding more annoyed than worried. 

Isak laughed sardonically, overcome with bitterness. 

This was the first time he had spoken to his father in months. 

'You don't say.' He replied coldly. 

His mother was always lost. Come to think of it, Isak doubted she'd ever been present, not once in his entire tumultuous childhood. 

'No. I mean, she has seriously lost touch with reality.' His father reiterated, his tone plagued. 'She walked out onto a highway yesterday at around 6am- she stopped traffic and got arrested.' He paused, voice lowering. 'She was looking for rubbish, Isak, she said she wanted to clean the world.' 

This was not the most bizarre thing his mother had done but the news still floored him, Isak becoming concerned, fiddling nervously with the hem of his shirt, biting down on the inside of his cheek. 

'Oh.' He murmured. 'W-where is she now?' 

Terje hesitated for a second, sighing again, Isak squirming, hating it. 

'Shes been hospitalized.' He answered plainly. 'She's staying at Gaustad Sykehus.' He gulped audibly. 'She's been asking for you.' 

His father's voice was emotive, guilt-inducing, trying to make Isak feel responsible, shifting the blame as he had done his entire life, always making Isak look after his mother, forcing his son to grow up too soon, forcing the child to make up for all of his shortcomings. 

The teenager simmered with resentment. 

'Yeah?' Isak muttered indignantly. 

'You should visit her, Isak.' Terje went on, continuing the emotional extortion. 'I went this morning and it wasn't like one of her usual fits. She was calm - heavily sedated.' 

Isak's lips turned into a thin tight line as he took in his father's condescending words. 

_Yeah._

The adolescent's thoughts spun angrily. 

_The only way his father ever wanted his mother to be was heavily medicated and quiet._

'I don't know...' Isak murmured, not certain he was stable enough to deal with it. 

'She's your mother.' Terje continued in the same guilt-uprooting tone. 

Blind rage pulsated within the boy, his words coming out sharp and quiet and furious. 

'You were her husband.' 

His father exhaled loudly. 

'Look, I think it's best we put all that behind us, don't you?' He asked, belittling. 'Everyone's settled now-' 

Isak scoffed darkly. 

'Settled? What do you mean _settled_?' He almost laughed again at such a preposterous allegation. 'Mamma's in a psych ward and I'm-' 

He cut himself short. 

Isak Valtersen was many things. 

_Tired._

_Heart broken._

_Vaguely suicidal._

Not that his father needed or deserved to know any of that. The teenager swallowed it all down. 

'What?' Terje asked, his concern sounding like it was almost out of obligation. 

'Nothing.' Isak muttered sorely. 'I'm fine.' 

'Okay.' His father said in a tense voice. 'That's good.' 

A long uncomfortable silence extended between them. 

'How about I pick you up at around twelve tomorrow and-' He paused, register faltering. '-and we'll go together. I haven't seen you in so long, Isak, and you owe it to your mother.' The volume of his speech dropped , his tone becoming somber, manipulative. 'She needs you. It wasn't until you left home that things started getting really bad for her-' 

Isak jolted at this, almost disbelieving of what he was hearing. 

His face became hot. Hot with anger. 

'Until _I_ left...?' He spat, each word riddled with venom, each syllable a sharpened knife. 'You know what, I'll go see her in hospital.' He jeered, unable to contain his fury, keeping his voice low. 'But I'm not going with you. Stop trying to put this all on me, and everyone else.' He paused, taking a deep breath, seething. ' _You_ failed her, dad.' He asserted jaggedly. '-and I'd rather _kill myself_ then spend even a fucking minute in a car with you.' 

Isak didn't wait for a reply, he didn't wait for an accusatory statement or more pathetic rhetoric, he just hung up, letting his father feel cut off, inexplicably isolated, just as he himself had felt when he was left at sixteen with a mentally unwell mother and no exterior support. He knew whatever grievance he caused Terje would never compare to the desolation that had been loaded onto him, but it didn't matter, the teenager would take whatever he could, and even this minuscule incident felt like a declaration of revolt, like a small but righteous victory. 

*** 

Isak walked though the sliding doors of the psychiatric hospital, two days after the argument with his father, making a point of traveling to the ward after school. He had at first thought of not going at all, thinking of just backing out. His mind was already a wreck as it stood, the message that was quite obviously from Even still thick in his brain, terrifying him, the heavy and dull aching in his heart still entirely prevalent. The teenager had contemplated responding to the text, reading it over and over until he memorized every word, even going as far as looking up the passage and discovering it was from a song by an American artist called Elliot Smith, a pleasant, acoustic track that was entirely depressing, the rest of the lyrics only further cementing the hopelessness of their situation. The boy came to the conclusion that there was really no point replying, as he knew for certain it would just go unacknowledged, the vampire seeming to be resolutely gone, final in his departure. 

Isak pushed this all to the back of his conscience as he shuffled through the clinical, white-lit hall, awkwardly approaching the counter behind which a bored, overweight receptionist sat, her large gaudy earrings jingling as she raised her head in the direction of the boy. 

'How can I help you?' She said in a monotone voice, not even looking at him, barely attempting to sound the least bit interested. 

'I-I'm here for a 4:30 visit to see Marianne Valtersen.' Isak stammered timidly, nervous, afraid of his mother and the influx of dejection she would no doubt cause him. 

'And who are you in relation to Ms Valtersen?' The administrator asked tiredly. 

'I'm her son.' 

'Okay.' The woman muttered, staring at the screen of her computer and clicking her mouse a few times, typing lazily, the boy watching her hot pink acrylic nails flit across the keyboard, momentarily distracted from the panic that flooded him. 

'Alright.' She said after a moment, pointing slackly to a set of frosted glass doors to the left of them. 'Just go through there, talk to one of the patrolling nurses and they'll lead you to the visitation area.' 

*** 

His mother was exactly as she was the last time he'd seen her. Her face was pretty yet only a shadow of what it'd been in her youth, the immense beauty she'd once possessed fading into the lines of her worn skin, her pale eyes never quite retaining their youthful glimmer, her golden hair turning silvery, her defined cheekbones sunken, gaunt. 

Happiness lit her features like street lamps lighting a forsaken town as soon as her eyes locked with her son's, which were an identical shade of green, the thin, small woman bounding across the spacious visitation room towards the startled boy. 

Isak had entered with caution, taking in the large couches, small wooden coffee table and muted-blue walls, the boy stifling a sarcastic sneer as he read the large poster that sat as a center feature above everything. 

**Do not give your past the power to define your future.**

Isak rolled his eyes, unable to handle that trite inspirational bullshit, flinching as his mother's bony arms came around him, hugging her back limply, numb to the embrace but letting her kiss his cheek, the woman smiling, looking at him like he was everything, like she could just die happy right then and there. 

'Isak...' She murmured weakly, her voice coming out as a slur, slowed, most likely, by the excessive drugs in her system, the woman kissing the teenager's other cheek as he squirmed uneasily. 'Isak my baby... Oh, your so handsome.' She patted his face lovingly, the boy withdrawing in response, overwhelmed. 'I've missed you so much. How are you, sweetheart? 

Isak shrugged. 

'I'm okay.' He lied. 

He was the furthest from okay he'd ever been in his entire existence. 

'You look tired.' She commented, reaching up to ruffle his blonde curls, her face veiled with worry. 

'So do you.' He muttered back, indifferent. 

'Sit down, love.' She said softly with a sigh, handing him a plastic cup, mothering him even in her subdued state. 'Have some water.' 

Isak did as he was told, sitting across from her in front of the coffee table in an uncomfortable armchair, leaning forward and shaking his knee, already counting down the minutes, anxious to leave. 

'Your father called me this morning...' She began with a heavy sigh, settling into her chair and looking at the boy with a governing expression. 'You've really upset him.' 

Isak just shrugged again, unable to hide his vindictiveness. 

'Good.' He said flatly, looking at his own fingers, tapping nervously at his cup. 

'Look.' His mother began softly, moving a strand of her hair from her aged face. 'I know you're angry at him and I know he's made mistakes. But we all make mistakes. You need to forgive him, Isak. I have.' 

'Yeah... Okay...' Isak muttered, voice grim, eyes steadily glued to the clock, monitoring the time. 

'He's not a bad person.' She continued pleadingly. 'Truly, he isn't. Only human.' She paused, thinking for a moment. 'We are all only human.' 

_She was wrong._ The teenager thought abstractedly. _Some of us were vampires._

'Alright.' Was all Isak said, emotionless, not at all intending to patch things up with his tool of a father. 

'I knew you'd come.' She said suddenly with a bright smile that filled her mousy face. 'I prayed for it and it appears that God has made it so.' 

Isak groaned, shuffling in his place, exasperated. 

'Can you... Can you just stop with the God stuff?' He snapped harshly, the woman recoiling slightly, the teenager immediately feeling like a terrible person. 

_He didn't want to be mean to her._

The woman sighed complacently, straightening herself out and looking at him intensely. 

Isak tried to look away but something in her severity prevented it. 

'But whats the point of living if not for god?' She asked firmly, her green-eyed gaze questioning. 

'Maybe there is no point.' The boy blurted out, knowing he was fighting a loosing battle, knowing he should just let her have it, just grin and indulge her. 

But he couldn't. It didn't seem right to treat her that way, like her opinions were merely crazed novelties to be ignored and humored. It felt wrong, disrespectful, even. 

'Maybe God's not real.' He muttered, eyes quickly casting down, the adolescent taking a small sip of his luke warm water, shoulders dropped. 

'Well maybe you don't believe in God the way I see him.' His mother replied, face surprisingly unaffected, contented, almost, like she enjoyed being argued with as opposed to being patronized and shushed. 'But do you believe in love?' 

Isak faltered at this. 

'Yeah... I guess...' Isak said on instinct. 

It was true. Isak did believe in love - more than anyone with a good sensibility should. 

His mothers face was indescribably warm. 

'Love...' She hummed gently. 'That feeling, _that_ is God.' She looked at her son intently, reading his sorrowful expression. 'It's the inexplicable sense that you are a part of something bigger than yourself, something bigger than us all.' 

Isak's heart twanged. He knew the feeling. He knew the feeling all too well. 

'Yeah...' He murmured, almost whispering. 'I guess I understand that...' 

His mothers head leant to the side, curiosity gracing her delicate features. 

'So...' She said with a closed-lipped smile. 'Who is she?' 

Isak blinked. 

'She?' He muttered, confused. 'What?' 

His mother pressed on. 

'The girl that has made you understand.' 

_Oh._

_Shit. Right. He was meant to be straight._

'Oh... ' Isak stuttered, trying to save himself. 'I mean... She... Uh...' 

His mother stared right into him, as if inspecting his soul, smiling daintily, looking as if she liked what she saw there. 

'Its not a girl, is it, Isak?' She murmured carefully, eyes furtive. 

This blind-sided the boy, whose face flooded with blood, dry eyes blinking profusely, his flustered response extremely telling. 

_Fuck._

He supposed wryly that is didn't matter, that it wasn't a problem if she disowned him, that he barely saw her or wanted to see her anyway. 

'Uh...' He muttered, twirling his thumbs. 

'I know this.' She said with a decisive nod. 'I've always known this.' 

Isak squinted. 

'W-what? How?' He stuttered, dazed. 

_He'd put on such a good show. He even had a fake girlfriend at one point. Poor Sara._

'You are my son.' She said, eyes yielding. 'A mother knows these things.' She went on with a small grin, wryly amused. 'Plus, growing up, you were just way too enthusiastic about the animated Barbie films...' 

Isak frowned. _That was not true._

'What?' He asked confusedly, flushing a little. 'I don't remember that.' 

_He totally did._

His mother clicked her tongue, her expression playful. 

'I do.' She said frankly. 'The Nutcracker was your favorite and you had all the video tapes, much to the disappointment of your father...' 

'Oh.' The boy murmured, mortification creeping over him. 

He wondered if she cared about his sexuality - she didn't seem to. 

The teenager also began to question why his heart rate accelerated, why he suddenly felt as if he wanted her approval, as if he needed it. 

'Do you-' he began, only to be cut off, his mother's face accepting, hazy. 

'I love you, Isak.' She murmured, voice weighted with what only could be described as adoration. 'I've loved you from the very first moment that I saw you and I will continue on loving you for all eternity.' She crossed the room, slow on her feet, dropping to her knees in front of Isak's armchair, taking both of his hands in her cold, slightly wrinkled ones. 'You are my child, my baby.' Her voice fell to a whisper. 'Nothing could ever change that.' 

Isak was almost instantaneously goaded with emotion, the affection that he had always possessed for his mother but kept stifled deep within him coming up at full speed, bursting out of his body and hitting him with force, slapping him clean across the face, the numbness the boy had lived with since Even had left him becoming overridden, sentimentality, thick and sweet like honey, filling the emptiness and coating his throat, dripping into his insides and causing him to cry. 

Hot, wet tears that felt like a liberation rolled down his flushed cheeks, the adolescent feeling as of he had been unchained, freed, let out of his cage of emotional restriction. 

'But what about God?' He heard his own tear-soaked voice sob out, his mother standing and pulling the weeping boy into a warm hug, her head in his chest, her taller son gripping at her like he did when he was a toddler, the woman patting his back softly, hushing him with kindness. 

'God loves all.' She murmured softly, squeezing him tightly. 

She leaned back from the embrace to look her child in the eyes, the boy's face, although relieved, still possessing a whisper of despair. 

'Something is haunting you.' She whispered tenderly. 'I can tell...' 

She was right. 

_Even._

Even was haunting him. The memory of him, the text message, the void of his absence. 

_Even would always haunt him, the questions he'd left unanswered. What could have been, what never will be._

Isak quailed. 

'It's nothing.' He muttered through tears. 

His mother just nodded, smoothing back the soft curls of the boy's blonde fringe. 

'Whatever it is, darling.' She said in a murmur, remarkably sober. 'Go forth always with courage. God will show you the way.' She took her son's hand in hers, holding tight, her words definitive, final. 'Love will always prevail.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "How beautiful it is and how easily it can be broken"  
> \- The Glass Menagerie, 1944


	17. "Seize the moment because tomorrow you might be dead"

Another week passed as Isak, limb by limb, inch by inch, began to regain feeling. Once the initial numbness subsided, dull but pleasant pain returned, pain that the adolescent welcomed, pain that made him feel alive again. The memory of the older boy's face became hazy around the edges, ungraspable, tumbling away from Isak's mind like a fraying piece of ribbon, slipping through his fingers and scattering to shreds, the teenager beginning to wonder if any of it had happened at all, if he'd ever really fallen in love with the ghoulish being or if it was all just a fucked up acid trip or perhaps a dream, a nightmare. 

The only remnants he had left of Even, the only proof he had of the vampires existence apart from the faint pinkish scars that adorned his throat, were a few drawings, sketches the adolescent kept safe under his mattress, viewing them sometimes in the middle of the night, trying not to ruin them with his falling tears. Isak's headspace wasn't ideal, but it was better than the nothingness, and even though his heart was perpetually weighted with aching, it was an ache the teenager was able to smile through, his life once again manageable. 

It was a Friday afternoon and Isak was in his bedroom, his friends having invited themselves over, providing the boy with an ephemeral distraction, the adolescents' passing a bong lazily amongst them, leaving the entire room misted with smoke, Isak's mind heavy with the effects of weed, barely listening to Mahdi, Magnus and Jonas as they chatted about their prospective sex lives, the subject matter making the blonde boy quite ill as his eyes wandered out of the window, tracing the fluffy white clouds and thinking, with a blistering twinge in his chest, about how the blue sky matched the shade of Even's eyes exactly. 

_He was so fucked._

Isak was so caught up in thought that he barely noticed when Magnus meandered aimlessly to his desk, playing mindlessly with the teenagers belongings before picking up a piece of paper that sat there and smiling in bemusement. 

'Oh wow...' Magnus exclaimed, eyes confused yet in awe of what he was inspecting. 

'What?' Mahdi asked absently, Jonas, who had been detailing the story of the best blowjob of his life, glowering at their idiotic friend, irritated. 

Magnus was impervious to this, chuckling, eyes straining before he read the words he was looking at aloud, smirking as he did so. 

'...I know you'll be the sun in someone else's sky...' 

Isak's ears pricked up at this, his head snapping, eyes turning from their gaze outside, the blood draining from his face as he recognized the quotation. 

'No!' Isak shrieked, tearing himself from his spot on the bed with extreme haste, as if he had been electrocuted, scrambling over to Magnus and grabbing at him, his heart pounding in his throat. 

'Stop! Give me that!' The boy lunged forward, snatching the paper frantically from Magnus' hands, holding it to his own chest, his body inundated with anxiety, with the bitter feeling of violation. 

'What is it?' He heard Jonas ask, all three of his friends quite taken aback by Isak's sudden aggressive outburst. 

It was the drawing Even had left for him after the first night they slept together. The boy had been looking at it the night before and had forgotten to put it away. 

His face was hot with mortification. He wanted to disappear. 

Magnus just laughed, somewhat bewildered, eyeing the startled teenager as he fretfully shoved the picture in the top drawer of his dresser, blushing heavily. 

'Why do you have a drawing of yourself sleeping?' Magnus asked casually, his face vaguely confused. 

'It’s nothing' Isak spat, sinking back into his spot on the bed and crossing his arms over his chest, shuddering in embarrassment, trying to figure out a way to talk himself out of it. 'It’s personal, okay?' 

But the other blonde wouldn't let up. _Of course he wouldn't._

'Did your cousin draw that for you?' 

Isak groaned, his heart dropping a little as he remembered the night at the cinema's when he had run into the boys, how gentle Even had been with him, how sweet and reassuring and _perfect_ he was, how he held Isak all night as he fretted, how the vampire had seemed like an angel to the teenager, how stupid the adolescent was at the beginning. 

Stupid but happy. 

Isak gulped, pushing it all deep inside, his expression smoothing, facing Magnus with aggravation. 

'How many times do I need to tell you, Magnus, Even was not my cousin...' He muttered with a sigh, voice puncturing slightly over his lover's name. 

Jonas frowned, raising unexpectedly from his slouch as he placed the bong he had just taken a hit from on the side table, swallowing down the harsh vapor without batting an eyelash like the learned stoner he was, his face dazed yet concerned, thick eyebrows knitted together. 

'Is that why you've been upset recently?' He asked lightly. 'Is it Even?' 

Isak scoffed, trying to seem blasé, shuffling a little and looking at his hands. 

'Upset? W-what do you mean? I haven't been upset at all.' He lied, shrugging awkwardly, his usual knack for deceit failing him. 

'Yes you have.' Jonas shot back, oceanic eyes reddened and glassy yet determined. 'You've taken so much time off school, you've nearly completely fucked up your 10 percent.' 

'Yeah man.' Mahdi chimed in, the other teenager leaning against the wall, only loosely interested in the discourse. 'It's a good thing the principle is giving people special consideration or you'd be so fucked.' 

Isak just shrugged, shaking his head, tingling slightly in his high. 

'It doesn't matter anyway.' The blonde murmured dismissively. 

'I-I'm fine.' 

'No you aren't, bro.' Jonas persisted, drawing a dejected exhale from Isak. 'What's going on with Even?' 

_Why did his friends have to care and make everything so difficult for him?_

'Nothing.' Isak snapped, drawing his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees, his mouth forming into an unintentional pout, his raw eyes miserable. 

'Literally nothing is going on with Even.' 

'Man, I get it.' Magnus muttered suddenly, settling at the foot of the bed with an understanding nod. 'Love is tough... Me and Vilde, for example-' 

Jonas grunted. 

'Jesus Christ, Magnus!' The bushy eyed teenager exclaimed, exasperated. 'Would you just shut up about Vilde for one minute?' He heaved in irritation, resting a hand on Isak's shoulder in comradeship. 'This is about Isak, he's having a hard time.' 

'Yeah man, not cool.' Mahdi added, giving him hype. 

Isak's mind drifted, encouraged to talk about his feelings, his thoughts morphing into words and hastily leaving his lips in his inebriated state. 

'It's just so difficult.' Isak complained, his voice almost comically whiny. 'I- I lov-' He stopped himself abruptly, quailing. 'I mean, I care about him a lot. And we're perfect for each other. It's just that he's a fucking vampire, you know?' 

All three boys stared at the blonde in various stages of confusion. Isak's head was swimming, the confession having tumbled from him thoughtlessly. 

_Great, his friends thought he was crazy._

He opened his mouth to retract the statement, but nothing came out. 

_Fuck it._

Magnus' eyes enlarged with what looked like excitement. 

'A vampire?' He questioned. 'I-I-' Isak stammered, eyes darting. 

He wanted to tell them all the truth. He knew it was inconceivable and he was certain no one would believe him but in that moment he was very high and needed to get it off his chest. Thus far, the boy had suffered all alone, in silence. 

After a long moment, Jonas began to nod. 

'I get it bro.' He murmured, slurring slightly, trying to understand. 'Like, he's a vampire in a metaphorical sense. Like, you feel like he's left you emotionally drained.' Jonas nodded to himself. 'It’s figurative. I know what you mean.' 

'No!' Isak shouted, shaking his head rampantly, eyes wide and urgent. 'I mean... Like, he's a fucking vampire!' 

_What could he say to make them believe?_

The boy frowned in agitation, playing with his hands nervously, letting the onslaught of disturbed expressions roll over him. 

'Dude...' Mahdi mumbled, eyeing Jonas wearily. 

'He drank my blood!' Isak persisted, desperate to get the message across, too far gone to back track now, the teenager trembling all over due to the weight of the admission. 

Jonas grimaced. 

'...Like, b-because he's into that?' The boy's best friend asked, cringing slightly in disgust. 'Like, is it a weird sex thing? That's fucked u-' 

Isak shook his head once again, blonde curls bouncing at the velocity of the movement. 

'No!' He urged. 'He's literally a vampire. He has super human abilities! He's ninety-four!' 

The words just ran from his mouth, spiraling out of control, each sentence causing both Jonas and Mahdi to jerk back further, eyeing each other intermittently in increasing concern. 

'Oh... Um...' Jonas muttered, deep in thought, forehead creased into a frown. 

'Dude...' Mahdi repeated lowly, looking at Isak with vague fear, like he thought the blonde boy was deranged, edging away from him slightly with widened eyes. 

Magnus just stared off into the distance, face overcome with wonder. 

Silence extended, Jonas being the first to talk again, grounding himself and pinching the bridge of his nose, carefully approaching Isak like he was a wild animal that might lash out or run away at any sudden movement, sitting cautiously beside his best friend on the bed and hesitantly returning his hand to the boy's shoulder. 

'Look man.' Jonas started in an even, restrained voice, patting Isak awkwardly, trying to calm him. 'I know it's hard when...' He paused, both his high and the bizarre nature of the situation causing him to struggle for words. 'W-when you’re heartbroken.' The brown-haired boy wavered again, swallowing audibly, bracing himself. 'A-are you on any hard drugs, Isak?' 

'No.' Isak said, flinching at the question, his voice raising. 'No!' He reiterated, desperate now. 'Why does everyone keep thinking that?!' 

Jonas nodded slowly, trying to maintain composure. 

'I just...' He murmured, eyes on Isak again, careful and steady. 'I just think you need to just, take it easy. Take some time off.' Jonas extended an arm out to stop Isak's hand that had moved to reach for the bong on the side table. 'Maybe stop smoking weed for the minute.' He advised cautiously with an uneasy laugh. 'I never thought I'd say this sentence but I don't think the bud is helping...' 

Isak could see it in Jonas' eyes, right there in his grey irises. 

_He thought Isak was batshit insane_. 

'I'm not crazy...' The blonde pleaded, looking at the brunette frantically, just wanting to be heard, to be listened to. 

'Never said you were, bro.' Jonas reassured, the almost condescending tone of his voice not at all helping. 'You’re my best friend man and I'm here for you. I just think you need to relax, okay?' He was worried, it was written in every feature of his face. 

The brunette adolescent cared at the very least, that much was clear. 

Isak's shoulders dropped. A part of him was distinctly disappointed that Jonas didn't believe him, even though he knew he probably wouldn't believe Jonas had the situation been reversed. 

What did he expect? It was madness, it was all utter madness. 

'I have to go now.' Jonas stated warily, patting Isak again with a careful hand before rising to his feet. 'I promised Eva I'd meet her for coffee like, half an hour ago.' His face became sober, voice lax. 'But you can call me any time you like. Even if it's four in the morning, just call me, okay?' 

Isak nodded, defeated. 

Mahdi perked up at this, joining Jonas who had migrated to the doorway. 

'Come to think of it, I gotta go too.' Mahdi mumbled, obviously lying, stumbling a little in his feet. 'Got a lot of... Um... Chemistry homework.' 

Isak nodded again, feebly, recoiling. 

_He had fucked up._

‘Okay...' He muttered pitifully. 'I swear I'm not crazy, like, it's- 

'Just chill, Isak.' Jonas interrupted him, voice consoling. 'It's clear that your mind's just getting a little, uh, confused... Um...' The boy paused, choosing his words. 'My uncle gets like that, he sees this woman, like, twice a week-‘ 

'I don't need to see a therapist!' Isak exclaimed, interrupting his friend, his hands moving to his own face, dragging his fingers down it in frustration. 

_Fuck._

'Just call me if you need me, alright?' Jonas asserted, nodding along. 

'Alright...' Isak mumbled, forsaken. 

As the two boys were leaving, Mahdi turned to Magnus who had moved to the corner of the room and was now sitting on the hardwood floor contentedly, eating Doritos, licking the orange powder off his own hands, his expression strangely untroubled, serene. 

'Coming, Mags?' 

The teenager looked up, shrugging. 

'Uh... Nah...' He muttered, seeming somewhat suspicious, blue eyes casting to the side. 'My bus doesn't come for another hour. I think I'll just hang with Isak for a bit.' 

'Um... Okay dude.' Mahdi said confusedly, frowning in a way that suggested that he thought that being willingly left alone with Isak in an uncontrolled environment was not a very prudent decision. 

The boys hastily left the room, saying quick goodbyes as they went, the door shutting firmly behind them as they shuffled out. Isak huffed, feeling utterly shameful, turning to Magnus with pleading eyes. 

'I'm not crazy or on drugs, I don't need therapy-' 

Magnus cut him off, rising from his seated position on the floor and once again making his way to the bed, crawling onto the mattress with his slightly muddied sneakers still on his feet, sitting adjacent to an astonished Isak and eyeing him with the kind of sincerity that just wasn't like him. 

'Bro.' Magnus began slowly, eyes intense, his straight, blonde hair shimmying as he leaned forward, jerking his head for emphasis. 'I totally believe you.' 

Isak stalled, pulling back and frowning in incredulity. 

'... Wait.' The boy muttered, truly shocked. 'What? Really?' 

Magnus' expression becoming solemn, dead serious. 

'Yes.' He said, his index finger pointing inwardly to his own chest as he scoffed. 'What do I look like to you, stupid?' 

Isak squirmed, unable to truthfully answer that question. 

'Ummm.' He muttered, biting back sarcasm, not wanting to treat the only person who believed him with antagonism, desperately needing someone to talk to. 

'Of course there are vampires among us.' Magnus stated simply, like the point was an obvious fact. 'And aliens.' He added, nearing Isak as if to let him in on a secret, voice dropping. 'And probably, like, a few different species of trolls and shit.' 

Isak nodded in agreement, grateful to have someone who didn't think he had lost touch with reality, not quite registering that last part. 

'The government knows all about it too, man.' Magnus went on, eyes searching the room in a crazed sweep. 'There's a lot they're not telling us.' 

'...Okay.' Isak mumbled, for lack of a better response. 

'And like, I gotta say...' Magnus started, voice reflective. 'That one time we met Even, I could definitely sense it. That dude was throwing off vampire vibes left, right and center.' He scowled, scorning himself. 'I knew there was something funny about him but I was too distracted by the incest.' 

All Isak could do was stare as what felt like a mixture of relief and shock flooded him, green eyes wide, the boy vaguely questioning the mental stability of his friend, yet all in all, just being glad to have someone to open up to. 

'I'm just...' Isak began, breathing rickety. 'S-surprised that someone believes me.' He shivered, pressing his hands to his temples, trying to center himself. 'I feel like I'm going fucking insane.' His tone changed, becoming somber, listless. 'He's gone...' 

The words came out, the first time he had acknowledged the immense loss out loud, the first time he had vocalized it, fully realizing the fact, his entire body withdrawing in despondency. 

'He's gone and... And it's almost like none of it happened...' Isak's voice became strained, labored. 'L-like I imagined him...' 

'Trust me, I believe you, bro.' Magnus murmured, register dropping to a whisper when he spoke again. 'But I think it's probably for the best that we lower our voices, you don't know when they're listening, they could have cameras and little microphones everywhere.' The boy’s eyes surveyed the room once more with an erratic look of paranoia. 'We wouldn't even know, Isak, we wouldn't even know.' 

Isak started, brow gathering in perplexity. 

'Who are you even talking about?' He asked, lowering his volume, going along with it. 

_Of course._ Isak thought sardonically. _Of course Magnus was the only one that believed him._

'The government, man.' He replied breathily, shrugging like it should have been clear. 

Magnus' eyes centered on Isak, becoming unusually docile, brimming a little with curiosity. 

'Now-' Magnus began calmly, still in a whisper. 'What's the problem with you and Even, why didn't shit work out?' 

Isak swallowed hard, the question hitting him, the boy carding an unsteady hand through his own hair, anxious, his eyes almost immediately beginning to prick with the initial workings of tears, his breath coming out thick, his mind rolling. 

'I don't know...' Was all Isak said at first, choked by the violent procession of his emotions. 'H-he was set on the idea that he was ruining my life.' The boy balked slightly, almost forgetting who he was talking to, wincing as he reflected on the nights before Even's final abandonment, the sadness in his lover’s pale irises. 'H-he said some shit about me being a bright light and how he's just dulling me.' The boy shrugged dismally. 'I don't know. That’s why he left.' 

Magnus' eyes were hazy, his face filled with an unexpected wistfulness, the teenager moving a finger over his own blemished cheek to swat away a tear that had formed at his waterline. 

'That sounds like, so fucking romantic dude...' He commented in a ragged whisper, hand on his chest, overwhelmed. 'This is just like Buffy the Vampire Slayer...' 

Isak was pulled momentarily from sadness, his face scrunching in disapproval. 

'Buffy...?' 

Magnus nodded, seemingly affronted. 

'Yeah, of course.' He said defensively, keeping his register low but becoming agitated. 'I've seen all seven seasons like, multiple times.' 

Isak sneered, distracted, finding humor in his friend's effeminate interests. 

'And to think.' He muttered with a dry smile. ‘ _I'm_ the homosexual in this equation.' 

Magnus jerked up at this, the boy's hands lifting, palms outward, his eyes becoming incensed, glaring at Isak as if he'd insulted his very honor. 

'What?' He questioned, voice rising from a whisper, becoming high pitched. 

'What's gay about Buffy? Don't be so closed minded, Isak.' 

Isak just rolled his eyes, scoffing as he did so. 

'It's intended audience is like, sixteen year old girls.' 

Magnus pulled back, frowning, visually wounded. 

'Bro, it's prime television.' He exclaimed, thoroughly offended. 'It's for everyone to enjoy.' 

'Whatever.' Isak muttered, not really caring in the slightest about any of it. 

'But man...' The other blonde murmured after a short moment, deep in thought. 'You're totally like, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Even is... He's like, Angel.' 

'I don't know who the fuck that is.' Isak said flatly, uninterested. 

Magnus explained anyway, face becoming bright as he spoke about the outdated 90's television show with a tone of unbridled enthusiasm. 

'Angel is Buffy's vampire boyfriend. And in my opinion, her one true love, her soulmate.' He outlined with emotional, impassioned eyes. 

'Okay...' Isak muttered, fiddling absent-mindedly with a pen he had picked up from his side table, sighing. 

'It’s beautiful really.' Magnus began, expression awestruck, becoming oddly meaningful. 'Despite the fact that Buffy is a slayer and fucking hates vampires, she finds Angel, who unlike the others, has a soul and is, like, capable of love.' He paused, looking at Isak knowingly. 'I think their pairing ultimately shows that, despite prejudices and stigmatism, if two people have love within them-' His hand returned to his chest, the boy pressing over his own heart, dramatically. '-they can come together and tie the knots between enemies, you know? It shows that love is powerful.' 

Isak blinked, finding himself in a state of agreement, oddly moved by his friend’s words, inclining towards Magnus in astonishment, the teenager's wisdom and unexpected emotional depth surprising him, drawing him in. 

'And...' Isak asked suddenly, overawed with curiosity. 'Did it work out for them?' 

Magnus mired at this, his face becoming inexplicably haunted. 

'Well... No.' He mumbled, looking genuinely upset at the fact. 'I mean she lost her virginity to him and then that broke the curse that gave him his soul and then he attacked her and-' He rambled, stopping himself short. 'Well, it's just a long story bro.' 

Isak's heart sunk. 

Even in fiction, a vampire and a human had no fighting chance at happily ever after. 

The boy supposed that there _was_ Twilight, but that franchise was far too nonsensical and possessed far too many pedophilic undertones for it to be taken at all seriously. 

_He’d watched the films. That shit with Jacob and Renesmee was just fucked up._

'Great.' Isak muttered dolefully, groaning slightly. 'No happy ending. That makes me feel a whole lot better.' 

'But the point is that they should have ended up together!' Magnus exclaimed with a sudden fierceness. 'I mean, I just ship them so hard. They're like my OTP.' 

Isak drew back, dumbfounded. 'You _ship_ them?' He questioned absently. 'What does that even mean?' He scrunched his forehead. 'And what's an OTP?' 

Magnus' face fell, the boy simply shaking his head, dismissing the other. 

'Don't worry, Isak, you simply wouldn't understand.' He mumbled, almost mournfully, his eyes becoming focused. 

'Anyway.’ He muttered, his posture straightening in earnest. 'You sound like you've really fallen hard for this dead dude. What are you going to do to get him back?' 

Isak laughed, the sound devoid of any hint of joy, flat and black, cynical. 

'There’s no point trying to get him back.' Isak replied dryly, breath hitching with threatening tears, expression drained of emotion. 'It's just hopeless.' He shrugged pathetically. 'I have no idea where he is. And, like, he was the one who killed those kids, it's just all so fucked up.' 

Magnus' eyes became wide, the teenager gasping, stunned. 

'Fuck man, really?' He exclaimed, concentrating deeply, making the connections in his mind, brows furrowing. 'Oh shit, yeah, they _were_ found drained of their blood.' He nodded dumbly to himself. 'Makes sense.' 

Isak ignored him, wincing as he thought about the proceedings of the night Even had left, of how he had thrown himself at the vampire, needy and stupid and blinded by lust. 

'Do you think I'm... I'm _pathetic_... for like, still wanting to be with Even even though he's a murderer?' Isak muttered with great difficulty, looking down at his own knees, the question manifesting unexpectedly, tearing out from the most vulnerable part within him. 

'Pathetic?' Magnus asked, cocking his head. 'No. A little fucked up? Yeah, maybe.' 

Isak's head dropped further, ducking, face ashen, each of his feature's imprinted with heavy shame. 

Magnus laughed lightly, leaning over to shove the boy softly at the arm. 

'I'm just joking Isak. You're not pathetic or fucked up.' He reassured, Isak lifting his head to see his friends warm, empathetic smile. 'First of all, to state the obvious, Even is a total hottie-' 

Isak’s face flushed, the boy recoiling from the unanticipated comment. 

'Oh my god, Magnus.' 

Magnus became defensive yet again, raising his hands once more, mostly in jest. 

'I mean, no homo, but if I were gay I wouldn't care who he killed, I'd tap that in a heartbeat.' He said simply, looking quite proud of himself. 

Isak shuddered at the thought. 

'What the fuck...' 

'Alright, I'll be serious.' He said, surrendering, his arms dropping, his face contorting thoughtfully. 'The thing is, Isak,' Magnus started, his speech clear, smooth and logical. 'I mean, it's not like he's a psychopath, he's not killing people because he wants to or because he thinks it's fun, he's killing people because he's a vampire, like blood is his food, bro.' 

Isak's eyes narrowed this. It was true; the only thing that made Even a 'monster' was the fact that he drank blood. All of his other characteristics were remarkably human, remarkably lovable. 

_He wasn't a killer just for the sake of it._

_Magnus had a point._

'Still...' Isak murmured, determined to stay locked within his comfortable depression. 'He didn't need to kill innocent teenagers.' 

_Even had done that on purpose. He killed children just to make a point_. 

Magnus sighed. 

'Yeah well, I'll admit, he fucked up a little there.' The other blonde said decidedly, shrugging. 'But we all fuck up every now and then.' 

'You're acting like he ran a red light or something, Magnus.' Isak exclaimed agitatedly, beginning to rant, eyes welling. 'Three teenagers are dead, the whole of Olso is terrified of a mysterious blood-draining murderer and families are grieving- and- and I still fucking had sex with him after all that. Like, that's just messed-up. And, even now, I still fucking lov- I still fucking care about him and it's just- what's wrong with me-' 

Words spun from him, the boy beginning to shake with panic, his thoughts looping, crashing together and falling to pieces, his mind a mess. 

Magnus reached out, grabbing the boy by both of his shoulders firmly to stop his shuddering and looking into his eyes intently. 

'Jeez man.' His friend murmured, exasperated. 'Take a breather.' Isak struggled under Magnus' hold, aware of the Dorito dust that was staining his t-shirt and not at all welcoming any physical intimacy from the other teenager. 

Magnus just smiled at him, laughing, seemingly trying to ease Isak's apparent anxiety. 

'Firstly, congratulations on the gay vampire sex.' Magnus muttered, grinning cheekily and winking at the fretful boy. 'Getting in.' He added, Isak rolling his eyes in response, blushing yet again, even in his unhinged state. 'Secondly.' The friend went on, face smoothing to sincerity, expression consoling. 'While I agree that what Even did was horrible and I'm not excusing it, it's important to look at this objectively.' Isak smirked slightly, surprised yet again at Magnus' insight. 

'This vampire, he was always good to you, yes?' 

Isak's heartbeat seemed to slow at this question, memories flooding back to him in sweltering waves, making him rein in. 

'H-he treated me like I was the most important thing in his world...' The boy murmured, overcome with tenderness. 'And I think... I think I might have been.' He gulped. 'He certainly became the most important person in mine.' 

'Well, it sounds like true love to me.' Magnus replied pensively. 'True love is unconditional, Isak, so of course you still love him and there's nothing wrong with you because of that.' 

For whatever reason, Magnus, an individual that Isak had exclusively taken for a fool, was able to ease the teenager’s grief, lift the weight from his ailing back, healing him. 

His friend went on, speaking slow, looking at Isak carefully, wanting him to take in every word. 

'And with Even, like, again, he's a vampire. He killed a few people and drank their blood, that's what vampires do. But if he loves you, whom he obviously does, he can change, you know?' 

Isak's temporary relief left as he let out a dry laugh. 

_Change._

_Sure._

'Nothing’s going to stop him from drinking blood, Magnus.' The boy mumbled dejectedly. 'Without it he'll fucking starve...' 

'Yeah, but look at Angel-' Magnus began, Isak cut him off. 

'Not the Buffy shit again...' 

'Hear me out.' The other blonde pleaded, becoming excited again. 'For centuries, Angel was known as one of the most violent, savage vampires in all existence. Buffy still loved him. And Buffy is the smartest, most kick-ass, non-pathetic bitch out there.' 

Isak exhaled. 

'I mean, it is a fictional story-' 

'I'm going to ignore the fact that you said that Isak.' Magnus interjected, truly insulted. '-and continue by also pointing out that there are many ways to get blood without murder. I mean, couldn't Even just use his vampire powers of persuasion and strike a deal with a blood bank or some shit?' 

The other boy blinked. 

_He hadn't thought of that option._

'I guess...' 

'See, Isak, it doesn't have to be so hopeless after all.' Magnus announced triumphantly. 'Now you're gonna find this vampire fuckboy that's got you all stressed and depressed and I'm gonna help you.' 

'Really?' Isak asked, voice almost falling to a whisper, unaccountably bashful. 

'Yes. I want to.' Magnus said with a wide, joyous smile. 

'You guys are like Bangel but gay. It's adorable.' 

'Bangel?' 

'It's Buffy and Angel's ship name.' The other teenager explained with a sigh. 'Keep up man.' 

'Ship name?' Isak was still so confused. 'What's with this _ship_ thing?' 

'Don't worry, Isak, as I said, you'll never understand.' Magnus murmured insistently, standing from the bed, his face lit with determination, finality. 'Now, stop looking so sorry for yourself and put on some deodorant. We are going to get you the happy ending that Bangel were robbed of.' 

*** 

After some deliberation and a much needed snack, the two boys decided that before all else, their best bet was to first revisit all of the places Even had taken Isak, the plan not entirely riveting or inventive, but a plan all the same. They opted to go to the cemetery first, the decision based entirely on the fact that the required travel was shorter than it would have been had they chosen to inspect the cinema, both teenagers being exceedingly lazy individuals. In daylight the graveyard seemed considerably less eerie, large oak trees lining the grounds, kissed by the shining sun, the grasslands quite pleasant, the beauty of the place dampened only slightly by the thick presence of death. 

The adolescents walked amongst the mausoleums, Magnus making light fun of the excursion and reading the names imprinted on the headstones aloud, Isak frowning as he looked about, trying to ignore his impudent companion, his eyes lighting up when he spotted the small flower garden and bench that he and Even had sat at, talking and kissing under pale moonlight. 

Isak's heart sank slightly at the recollection, but also become reinvigorated, the boy certain that the spot was of some significance, the adolescent suddenly bounding through the burial plots towards the opening, Magnus following in his wake, sluggish, continuing to read the names off the plaques, chuckling as he did so. 

'Alexander Cock.' The idiot said with an immature snicker. 'Did you hear that, dude? Do you know what cock means in English?' Isak rolled his eyes, face heated as he raked desperate eyes over the bench before dropping to sit on it. His face fell into his hands and he let out an exasperated grunt. 

_What were they even doing?_

_What were they looking for?_

_This was pointless._

'Sofie Larson.' Magnus continued, reading out the death dates along with the names. '1992.' 

_There was no hope _.__

 _ _'Egil Housten. 2004.'__

 _ _

Isak looked up at his friend now, shooting him a disapproving glance. 

'Shut up, Magn-' 

The boy went on, indifferent. 

'Shhh. It's interesting.' Magnus replied jovially, skipping between the headstones, nearing the other where he sat on the bench, stepping over a few pansies in the makeshift garden bed. 

'Ingrid Olsen, 2012. Dag Nils, 1986. Fuck, that guy was old.' The teenager mused, Isak groaning, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. 'Kari Bech Naesheim, 2015. Tomas Berg-' 

Isak froze, becoming paralyzed as his heart beat loud in his ears. 

'W-what did you just say, Magnus?' He cut him off, rising to a stand, eyes wide, surveying the graves. 

The other boy looked dumbfounded, grimacing in confusion. 

'Tomas Berg?' 

'No, no.' Isak muttered, so astounded that he almost seemed calm, walking hurriedly over to where Magnus stood in front of the burials, peering down at the headstone he was referring to, stumbling a little on his own feet. 

_Kari Bech Naesheim._

'Th-that's-' Isak stammered, raising a shaky finger to the name, engraved in capitalized, bolded text, the adolescent short of breath, heart rate running miles. 

'That's Even's last name.' 

Magnus nodded, frowning, not quite registering it. 

'Really? Wow...' The other blonde muttered to himself in bemusement. 'That's a bit of a coincidence. Him having the same last name as some dead chick...' 

But Isak barely heard the idiotic remark because his head was spinning, the only thing on his mind being the name on the headstone, burning into his brain and uprooting questions, the whole world stilling around him. 

_Kari Bech Naesheim._

Who was she? What did she mean to the vampire? Could her name be the key to finding the older boy, the love of Isak's small and uneventful life? The answers to these questions, the teenager did not know. 

But he did know one thing. 

This meant something. 

_Even had taken him to the cemetery for a reason._

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Seize the moment because tomorrow you might be dead"  
> \- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 1997
> 
>  
> 
> So, last chapter I received an overwhelming lack of feedback. I know that Even is somewhat absent within the narrative right now and that is probably the reason some of you have lost interest, however, his absence is vital for plot progression as well Isak's character arch. This is an Evak fic at it's core, so, although it doesn't need to be said, Even will most definitely return. I have just began university so I am very busy and while I really enjoy writing this, it is difficult for me to be motivated without comments and critique as it is essentially the feedback that makes this experience rewarding and prompts me to continue. Thank you to those who have supported me through this, you are wonderful and I love and share your enthusiasm for SKAM and Evak. The chapters I have planned, although few, are quite lengthy, this meaning that their development would be very time-consuming. Please let me know if you would like to see this story finished, I really do want to complete it but I also want to know whether or not it would be worth it and if this is still enjoyable because at this point, I am quite unsure. Thanks for reading, much love xxx.


	18. "Live people ignore the strange and unusual"

**Kari Bech Naesheim**

**8.1.1930 - 20.10.2015**

Isak had written the gravestone inscription into the notes app on his iPhone, the two boys exiting the cemetery shortly after identifying the information, Magnus leaving the other to return home for the night, promising to revisit him the next day in order to resume their expedition. Isak was grateful for this, as the other teenager's presence, although providing comfort, was becoming increasingly taxing, the boy wanting to be alone with his thoughts, wanting to be able to think soundly, to make sense of it all. 

Kari Bech Naesheim was almost undoubtedly Even's younger sister or cousin, the adolescent doing the maths and figuring that the deceased woman would have been eleven at the time of the vampire's human death in 1941, her own passing relatively recent, occurring in the previous Fall. 

Isak wondered abstractedly why his lover had never mentioned the obviously significant family member, coming to the desolate revelation that there was probably a great deal of things the older boy had neglected to tell him about. 

The teenager barely knew anything about Even's past at all, most of the information he had obtained being given to him by Sonja, the recount he had received being relatively brief and twisted by resentment. 

Settling into his bed, jittery with anxiety, the adolescent pulled out his laptop, impatiently waiting for the machine to buzz to life, opening Google and hesitating slightly before typing in the name of the unknown girl that plagued his conscience, the boy scrolling through the sea of resulting Facebook profiles before his eyes fell on a link to a PDF of the local newspaper, blinking a few times before clicking it, fingers strumming over his mousepad anxiously as his computer sluggishly loaded the web page. His screen became alight with what looked like a scanned obituary notice, the teenager surveying the uprooted content meticulously, squinting, forehead creasing as he tried to absorb the data in his slightly frenzied state. A picture of an elderly woman appeared to the left of the text, grainy and monotone, Isak sighing in irritation at the low quality of the photograph. The bolded words beside it read: 

**In Memory of Kari Bech Naesheim**

**Died peacefully in her sleep at age 85 on the 20th of October, 2015. Family and friends are welcome to attend a service for Kari at 5:00 pm, Wednesday, 27th of October at Vulkan matsal Vulkan 5, 0178, Oslo, Norway.**

**For more information please contact Anette Johansen at 9 401 7789 09.**

Isak stared at his screen with vague uncertainty, the information provided scant but relevant, the dates matching those that had been inscribed on the tombstone verbatim. 

The boy’s heart began to flutter with hope as he read over the provided phone number in wonder, the numerical combination glinting at him, promising him answers, answers he desperately needed. 

The adolescent promptly print screened the document and sent it to Magnus, fingers shaking with what felt like excitement, leaving his laptop on even as he tried to get some rest, the dull blue glow lighting his room, Isak unable to sleep, hoping for a response from his friend despite the fact that it was close to five in the morning. 

*** 

'What do you mean you aren't going to call the fucking number?' Magnus exclaimed erratically, taking a disgruntled bite of his cheese toastie as Isak fretted, his blue eyes wide with incredulity. 

It was the next day and the boys were once again in Isak's bedroom, mulling over the death notice, the two bickering lightly over how exactly they would move forward in their operation, taking into consideration the newly acquired information. 

'I _am_ going to call!' Isak urged defensively. 'I'm just fucking stressed okay? I don't know what to expect.' 

The boy fumbled with his phone, a heavy frown imbedded in his brow. 

Magnus huffed, wrenching the mobile off the other with a light groan of disapproval. 

'God, Isak, you're such a pussy.' He muttered in complaint, tapping in the number displayed on the laptop screen with a sigh and pressing the phone to his blotchy cheek. 

Isak's hands turned to fists in panicked anticipation as his friend waited for an answer, the boy sweating with nerves as the other hummed contentedly to himself, carefree. 

_Why was Magnus always so damn cheery?_

The teenager sighed, inspecting his friends stupidly mirthful face. 

_Ignorance really was bliss._

'Hello?' Magnus sang brightly into the mobile, smiling widely, Isak's entire body tensing, on edge. 

'Is this Anette...?' He asked politely, voice sycophantic, sweet. 'Yes... I'm Magnus, I'd like to inquire about Kari Bech Naesheim...' 

He paused. 

'Mmm hmm... Yeah... Well, the thing is...' Magnus frowned in thought, the adolescent biting his lip and shrugging before taking a steadying breath, his tone even, faultless. 

'M-my brother and I only recently learned of her death, we didn't even know we had an aunt...' 

Isak scoffed quietly at the blatant lie, Magnus shooting the other a wink, evidently proud of himself for smoothly constructing such a complete fabrication. 

'Yes... Yes, it's very sad...' He muttered on in mock concern, smirking triumphantly as his voice dropped, becoming insincerely grave. 'My family didn't tell me about her, it's quite a distant relation, twice removed...Yep... Oh, that'd be lovely...' 

Magnus fist pumped the air, the other boy blinking in confusion, brimming with anxiety and desperate to know what was going on. 

'Sure... Of course.... Absolutely! See you then...' He laughed then, high and jovial. 'I hope you have a good afternoon too!' 

Isak's entire form was rigidly inclined towards Magnus as he hung up, the boy's green eyes almost crazed with urgency. 

'What'd she say? Who was she? What's going on?' He shot out almost feverishly, the modulation of his voice coming out way too fast, the other teenager handing him back his phone with a smug grin. 

'She was one of Kari's only remaining friends.' Magnus stated matter-of-factly. 'She's invited us to her house for coffee next Friday. She's going to text the details. She seems like a wonderful lady-' 

'N-next Friday?' Isak murmured in a daze, voice wavering. 

'Yep. That was easier than I thought.' Magnus said with another smile, taking in his friend’s awestruck countenance. 'I know, I know, save the applause, I'm a fucking legend.' 

Isak was so thrilled that he almost agreed with him, stopping himself, however and instead rolling his eyes, even then, quite unable to hide how genuinely impressed he was. 

He gave Magnus an approving smile and an awkward yet friendly pat on the shoulder, the two boys making travel arrangements and deciding to play Grand Theft Auto V for the rest of the afternoon. 

_Everything seemed to be falling into place._

*** 

The house was small and painted almost entirely in various shades of blue, the terra-cotta tiles of the roof sitting in perfect contrast with the pale bricking, vibrant stained-glass windows lined by wooden framing working to obscure the home's interior, the glasswork exhibiting a floral, scenic design, purple sparrows and blue roses flitting across the crystal-ware, made up of thick, intricately melded shards of glass that glimmered in the afternoon light. A small terrace laced the house's threshold, upon which sat a frilly blue sofa, dirtied and greyed by the elements, blue pots, filled to the brim with blood-red roses surrounding the dilapidated couch, Isak recoiling as he observed the sinister little garden gnomes that sat scattered amongst the flowers, their roughly hand-painted faces smiling menacingly at the boy, the entire spectacle terrifying, seeming straight out of a fairy-tale. 

Isak turned to Magnus, who stood dumbly with the string of his hoodie in his mouth, peering up at the strange little building with a vacant smile. 

'What the fuck?' Isak mumbled, completely creeped out, ready to abandon all of his mustered motivation and simply turn and run. 

_This looked like the kind of house that inspired movies like The Conjuring and Insidious and every other poorly written James Wan film that scared the living shit out of him._

The teenager shuddered. 

Sure, Isak Valtersen could deal with horror, he could even deal with the existence of real-life vampires, going so far as actually falling in love with one. But there was not a single universe in existence in which the adolescent would ever be able to deal with the prospect of ghosts, and Anette's house, with it's Victorian eeriness and innocently haunting atmosphere, was no doubt crawling with all kinds of demonic, doll-possessing spirits. 

Of course, Isak had always told himself that ghosts and supernatural entities _weren't real_ , that there was nothing to worry about, that his fear was all just illogical paranoia. This type of denial, however, had became ineffective the moment that Even Bech Naesheim had entered his life, the vampire's existence ultimately proving that anything was possible. 

Isak gulped. 

'I think it's charming.' Magnus amended with a frown, walking excitedly through the unkempt lawn, climbing the steps to the veranda and approaching the front door. 

Isak sighed, stumbling after him with apprehension, hands in the pockets of his jacket, wondering idly what exactly this visit would achieve and swallowing down his fright. 

Without hesitation, Magnus rang the dated manual doorbell, which was blackened and rusted with age, Isak keeping his gaze drawn to the ground, trying desperately not to make eye contact with a particularly ghoulish garden gnome that sat the doorway, it's empty black eyes seeming to look into his very soul. 

A long moment ensued, both boys glancing at each other. 

'She probably isn't even home-' Isak murmured shakily, wanting to leave, his voice cut short as the front door swung open, nearly hitting into Magnus who jumped back, the two teenagers staring in bewilderment at the hobbling old woman who stepped out onto the doormat. 

She was a sight to behold, Anette Johansen, her hair her most distinct attribute, the silvery tresses rinsed with a light purple dye and pulled up into a nest-like bun that sat matted at the top of her head, a few dry strands falling in strings over her wrinkled face, her large grey eyes wild and dusted with heavy blue eyeshadow which settled into the deep lines that sunk from her orbital bones, her thin, lipstick sheathed lips a bright obnoxious red which matched the shade of her generous rogue. She wore a kimono of sorts, the garment made of bright turquoise silk that had been adorned with light green embroidery and intricate beading, the skirt of it hitting the floor, brushing against the yellow moccasins that covered her feet. One of her thin, frail arms extended to hold the open door, her other hand grasping a cigarette from which she took a long, deep drag as she inspected the boys. 

The inside of her house smelt of tobacco and incense. Isak's brow furrowed, vaguely disturbed. 

_Weird colorful spirit lady._

She frowned, eyes squinting as if she was having trouble with her vision, the woman's face twisting in abject terror as something seemed to become clear to her. 

'Oh no!' She exclaimed in a shrill, unusually pitched voice, recoiling from the teenagers. 'Not the Mormons again...' With more speed than her elderly form would suggest she was capable of, Anette slammed the door shut, protectively shutting herself inside of her home, the clanking of the chain on her door locking audible. When she spoke again her speech was muffled and high-strung. 

'I told you last time that I wasn't interested in your salvation crap, I don't want to be enlisted in your inbred cult! Go away!' She shouted in a fretful, warning tone. 

Isak blinked in confusion and looked at Magnus, who was giggling, evidently quite amused. 

'No!' He said in a friendly tone. 'You have it wrong Ms Johansen. We aren't-' 

'I know exactly what you are!' She shouted from behind the door. 'You're a bunch of sexually repressed homophobes that have no appreciation for art and culture- I've seen the documentaries-' 

'We aren't Mormons.' The teenager finished with a laugh. 'My name is Magnus, I called you last week about Kari Bech Naesheim-' 

'K-kari? Oh yes.' The latch of the lock tinkled, the door opening once again, this time at an incredibly slow, diffident rate, Anette's face slightly weary. 

'We're her nephews.' Magnus reiterated, extending a hand. 

The woman softened perceivably, obliging the gesture and gripping the adolescent with a hard shake. 

'Oh!' She exclaimed in realisation, her face contorting into a warm expression. 'I forgot all about that.' 

She smiled welcomely at them, lipstick smeared across her yellowing teeth. 

'Why, she left such a good-looking family.' Anette went on brightly, unexpectedly reaching to roughly pinch Isak's cheek with her cold, wrinkled fingers, the boy jerking back, startled, offering a nervous and polite little laugh in response. 

'And what's your name?' She asked the teenager in a sweet, babying tone, as if sensing his emotional fragility, the woman beaming at him with her wide, disarming smile. 

'I-Isak.' He muttered timidly. 

'Well, Magnus, Isak-' she nodded at them as she addressed each boy individually. 'I invited you over because I have a few things for you: keepsakes, photos and such...' She turned into the house, opening the door further. 'Do come in. I must apologise for being so standoffish, I mistook you for the Mormons. The bastards heckle me all the time. I thought for a moment they'd taken to wearing plain clothing just to trick me.' 

Isak just nodded, he and Magnus stepping over the velvet rug that lay gathered in a heap in the doorway. 

'Elder Smith can suck a fat one.' She muttered to herself, continuing to lament about the missionaries, grumbling slightly and lighting another cigarette as she trod through the organised chaos of the living room. 

The inside of the strange little house was just as unsettling as it's exterior, Isak flinching as he took in the faded baroque-patterned walls which were covered almost completely in artwork; medical charts, botanic illustrations and obscure depictions of female nudity plastered everywhere, all printed in muted colours and enclosed within golden ornamented frames. Large, mahogany book cases stood filled haphazardly with thick, aged volumes as well as a plethora of garish paraphernalia; a few models of the Earth, delicate toy soldiers made out of tin and various pieces of taxidermy, tiny stuffed birds and pure-white sheep skulls gleaming chillingly amongst the cluttered shelves. 

But the most frightening of all objects were the collection of immaculate little porcelain dolls that sat in a heap atop a velour purple armchair, the marionettes dressed neatly in elaborate eighteenth century Parisian attire, their glassy, blue eyes seeming to follow Isak as he shivered, shuffling past them in horror. 

_Fuck._

'Sit down, pigeons.' Anette hummed jovially, gesturing to the tufted brown leather couches that sat around the large wooden coffee table that was piled with old books, newspapers and unwashed decorative tea cups. 'Coffee?' 

The two boys nodded and sat down next to each other on the sofa as Anette disappeared into the kitchen, Isak widening his eyes in judgement, glancing at Magnus with a grimace, the other teenager only giving him a disapproving frown and mouthing: 

'What? She's cool.' 

_Of course. Of course Magnus liked the crazy lady._

'Here we are cherubs.' The old woman sang as she came back with a silver tray, setting it down on a clearing on the table and handing a cup to each of the boys, the teenagers thanking her graciously. 

Isak looked down at his drink. It seemed far too yellow and smelt strangely herbal. There was no way he was going to drink that. 

'Great coffee.' Magnus murmured chivalrously, taking a sip and smiling brightly. 

Anette returned the affection, settling into the sofa adjacent to them, her face becoming sober, reflective. 

'H-how did you know K-Kari?' Isak asked suddenly, reinvigorated with purpose, wanting answers. 'I-f you don't mind me asking.' The boy added in a stutter. 

Anette's face lit up. 

'Oh, I was her closest friend. She attended the historical readings group I hold here every Monday night.' She took another drag of her cigarette, grinning. 'You boys should come, we could use a few fresh faces. The ladies and I are looking at some interesting stuff, we're currently working our way through _Mein Kampf,_ which is really Hitler's most influential work...' 

Isak just nodded, affronted. 

'Sounds... Interesting.' He muttered, quite scared. 

'Anywho, she was also my neighbour.' Anette added informatively. 'She lived right across the road in that house over there.' The woman extended a bony hand to point out of the front window to a large, grey-bricked building that appeared to be built in the early 1900s, rigid and devoid of colour. It was so dark and imposing that Isak was unable to look at the house for too long, his eyes plummeting to his own hands which were trembling slightly, still wrapped around his untouched coffee. 

'She grew up there.' The old woman explained solemnly. 'It's abandoned now, the real estate agents aren't sure what to do with it as it's not very marketable. That's where I found her body, you see?' 

Both boys balked slightly. 

'You found her? That must have been terrible, Anette.' Magnus said in his sweetest voice, shaking his head sympathetically. 

'Oh not really...' She said softly. 'Death is a part of life, son.' She gave a meaningful smile. 'We all die, that's what makes everything so beautiful.' 

_Not all of us_ , Isak thought bitterly. 

'Y-you said you had some things for us?' Magnus prompted eagerly, obviously overcome with curiosity. 

'Ah, yes!' Anette exclaimed, rising spritely to her feet and waltzing over to one of her bookcases. 

'Hmmm... Let me see.' She muttered as she began rifling through her belongings. 

'You have a lot of cool shit- I mean stuff.' Magnus commented, editing himself and blushing fiercely. 

'Oh don't censor yourself for me, love.' Annette said, turning to the boy with a grin. 'Censorship is the work of the government and the government cannot be trusted.' 

'I've always thought that!' Magnus agreed, visibly star-stuck, in awe. 

Isak glanced in vague disgust between the two. 

_What kind of fucked up Harold and Maude shit was this?_

'Oh good! Here we are!' She announced triumphantly, sitting back down on the couch with a cardboard box in hand. 

She opened it with a small pen knife, pulling out a few old, black and white photographs, decrepit and crumbling at the edges, worn with age. 

'This is your great aunt when she was a child.' She informed, handing Magnus the picture, who looked at it blankly for a moment before passing it to Isak, shrugging. 

'Cool.' He muttered half-heartedly. 

The image was nothing particularly interesting, just a little girl smiling amongst trees and wearing a simple white dress, her blonde hair in ringlets and tied with thick ribbons, her eyes light and intense, piercing even amidst her pudgy, childish face. 

They must have been blue, her eyes. Pale blue. Just like Even's. 

Isak's heart jerked, a sudden and unexpected ache hitting his chest. 

'You can keep them.' The old woman murmured carefully as she inspected the boy's sudden onset of emotion, handing Magnus another photo. 'This one is Kari and her older brother, he went missing when she was very young.' 

Magnus' eyes widened as he inspected it, the boy hastily shoving the photograph towards Isak. 

'Dude.' 

Isak snatched it off him as soon as he saw it's contents, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest, pumping blood through his body far too rapidly, painfully, even. 

Pictured was the same tiny girl, her smile even wider as she looked up at a vastly taller young man, the boy's thin yet elegant body clad in an opened neck white shirt that was tucked and belted into a pair of dark, high-waisted trousers, his blonde hair styled into a perfect sweep, his eyes shining, his own smile brighter than the sun, seeming to expel colour even in the grayscale image. 

_An angel._

_Even_. 

'It’s strange.' Anette muttered, cutting through Isak's hysteria. 'You probably don't know him, since you're so far removed, but your aunt has a grandson.' She took a sip of her coffee, staining the cup with red. 'He was the only young person at the funeral. Lovely young man, a bit odd but immensely handsome, he looked _exactly_ like Kari's brother in that photo...' 

Both adolescents stalled. 

Even _was_ Kari's brother. 

Isak was looking right at his lover, the beautiful human boy with his little sister, the boy appearing so tender and soft to the teenager that he nearly forgot about who Even would live to become. 

A vampire, a murderer. 

But none of that mattered now anyway, Isak thought, hit with wistfulness. None of that mattered when the mortal's stomach still fluttered with figurative butterflies when he looked at Even, even there in the grainy photograph, none of that mattered when Isak loved him and would always love him, the boy's affections unconditional. 

The teenager would not define Even by his mental illness, nor would he define him by his species. Even was not like any other vampire and he wasn't like any other human either. He was complex and dazzling and flawed and beautiful and he was Isak's. 

And Isak would get him back, even if it killed him, even if it was the last thing he ever did. 

Because despite all the bloodshed caused by the vampire's hands and teeth and all of the horror and sin committed at his will, the young man was still, at his core, that sweet, sick angel smiling down at his younger sibling. He was just an innocent who had been messed up by the darkness of the world, corrupted by Sonja and her black hatred and burnt out by the demands of his illness, his thirst for blood. But there was one part of him all of that was never able to scathe, an essential part of him that nothing could touch; his heart. His heart that despite being dead and cold in the physical sense, was still so full of light, full of softness, the boy possessing a capacity to love that Isak had never encountered and would most likely never encounter again. 

All Even needed was someone to nurture that softness, someone to look after him and encourage his humanity, someone to cancel out the dark and hold him like he needed to be held. 

And Isak would be damned if that individual was not himself. 

Without realizing it, the adolescent had begun crying, this only registered by the teenager when a heavy tear fell with a light tap on the photograph he was now clutching in white-knuckled hands. 

'Oh dear... It seems your brother is quite emotionally affected by this.' Anette muttered to Magnus in observation, frowning as Isak wheezed out quiet sobs. 

'S-sorry.' The boy cried out softly, trying to stop his emotional reaction. 

'Don’t you dare apologize for crying.' Anette ordered almost harshly, causing both teenagers to physical jolt, the small woman coming to a sudden stand. 'It’s hard to process a loss of this nature, you never even got to meet Kari. These are complicated emotions.' She said tentatively as she approached Isak, patting him on the head, the gesture odd and uncomfortable. 'I understand, little frangipani.' 

Isak continued to cry, frowning slightly at the bizarre term of endearment. 

'Watch over him, Magnus, I'm going to get the poor darling something to drink.' Magnus nodded, looking vaguely sympathetic but predominantly confused, nearing Isak as Anette exited the room. 

'What's wrong, bro?' His friend asked him hesitantly, reaching out to touch the other boy’s shoulder, only to be swatted away with aggression. 

_What's wrong?_ What a stupid question. Everything was wrong. 

Magnus eyebrows just gathered in puzzlement, the boy shrugging, his expression smoothing, his voice coming out in a whisper. 

'It really was kind of strange that Even looked _exactly_ like Kari's brother...' He stated dumbly as Isak began to calm down, drying his tears with the sleeve of his own hoodie. 

The other teenager's mouth dropped open in astonishment. _Wow_. 

'Like, dude, the resemblance is fucking uncanny.' Magnus continued absently, shaking his head, his face blank, perplexed. 

'Oh. My. God.' Isak pronounced slowly in complete disbelief. 

The boy knew that Magnus was stupid, but he didn't think he was _that_ stupid. 

'Are you serious?' Isak asked in a scathing whisper, not wanting Anette to hear. 'Are you fucking with me right now?' 

Magnus blinked. 

'No.' He said innocently, continuing to grimace in confusion. 

'Jesus Christ.' Isak exclaimed, careful not to raise his voice, his face overcome with frustration. 

'Even _is_ Kari's brother! He's fucking immortal Magnus, he never ages. How can you-' 

'Oh yeah.' Magnus muttered in realization, cutting the other short and nodding his head as everything seemed to become clear to him, his frown settling, his eyes narrowing slightly in thought. 

_What the fuck went on inside of that empty empty head?_

'Alright, this should make you feel better.' Anette sang as she re-entered the living room with a glass of water, patting Isak's head once more before handing the drink to him. 

'T-thanks.' He mumbled, setting his now cold coffee down on the table and taking the other beverage in his unsteady hands. 

'I also have one more thing that should interest you boys that I almost forgot all about, silly me!' She went on, almost erratically, leaving the loungeroom once more, Isak lifting his glass to his mouth before drawing back, surprised by the strange, medicinal scent of the drink. 

That was _not_ water. 

'She's great!' The other boy murmured merrily. 'I wonder what she has for us.' 

Isak just rolled his eyes. 

Anette returned with a broad grin on her face, Magnus jumping up from his seat with a gleeful shriek as she carried in a relatively large, slightly overweight Siamese cat, the animal's face oddly stoic, it's green eyes unimpressed, the creature giving out a sharp 'meow' as the stupid teenager lunged for it. 

Isak's eyes widened, unconsciously beginning to shake his head rampantly. 

'No-' he let out involuntarily, his complaint going unnoticed. 

'Aw!' Magnus exclaimed with a joyous giggle, taking the limp cat from Anette and hugging him close, the feline oddly unbothered by the embrace. 'A kitty!' 

'Wha-' Isak began, only to be stopped short. 

'This little angel is Kari's cat, affectionately known as Copernicus.' The old woman explained cheerfully. 'She left him with me but I think she would have preferred he be with her family. It's what she would have wanted.' 

'We get to keep the kitty!' Magnus shouted with unconfined excitement, happier than a kid on Christmas morning, beaming at Isak in pure euphoria. 

'I don't think-' The other teenager started, Magnus cutting him off. 

'This is the best day ever! Oh thank you Anette!' He chanted happily, swinging the animal a little in his arms. 'Fuck yeah! We get a free cat!' 

The old woman just laughed, charmed by Magnus' boundless lightheartedness. 

'I'm glad you boys can take him. He and my other cat, Cookie, do not at all get along and it's caused me quite a bit of grievance.' She murmured, sighing in relief. 

'We really can't-' Isak tried again, Magnus interrupting him once more. 

'Oh please, Anette, we're more than happy to give him a home.' The other boy amended, speaking over the other, practically giddy. 

Isak huffed, overpowered by stress and compelled to take a gulp of his water, sputtering as soon as the stinging liquid hit his tongue, his eyes watering and his mouth burning with the toxic taste of hand sanitizer. 

'What is this?!' He exclaimed in shock, doubling over in a fit of coughing. 

Anette frowned. 'Don't panic, love, it's just a bit of spirits.' She said casually, sucking on her cigarette. 

Isak gasped as the residual burn stung his throat. 

'Did you just give me a glass of straight vodka!?' The teenager shrieked in vast dismay. 

'You were distressed. Vodka has always helped me.' Anette explained carefully, strolling over and gently taking the glass off of him. 'I didn't know you would chug it back so quickly.' 

'I'm seventeen!' Isak exclaimed in a frenzy. 

_This was madness_. 

'Oh Isak, don't be rude, it's not like you haven't been drinking since you were a twelvie.' Magnus shot from where he stood, cradling Copernicus like a baby and defending Anette with disapproving scorn. 

'I apologize, dear.' The old lady said kindly. 'Would you like some lemonade or something, sweetpea?' 

'No, it's okay.' Isak murmured softly, feeling impolite. 'Thanks for everything, Ms Johansen, you've been very helpful.' 

It was a complete lie. Ms Johansen had not been helpful in the slightest. The woman had been a hindrance, if anything. 

But she was a nice enough and Isak felt bad, so he said it anyway. 

'You're very welcome, snowflake.' She crooned with another yellow-toothed smile. 'Anyway children, I hate to dismiss you but I am leading a Mediterranean interpretative dance class in my kitchen in about an hour or so and it completely escaped my memory.' She sighed, gathering a few dishes off the coffee table. 'I need to do a bit of cleaning and iron out my leotard. Unless you too would like to join-’ 

'That sounds like fu-' Magnus began to say, face lighting. 

Isak cut him off. 

'No, no.' The teenager said, his voice almost hysterical. 'You have been so hospitable but we _really_ must be going, our mother is expecting us.' 

He glared at the other adolescent, willing him to agree. 

'Yeah.' Magnus muttered reluctantly, shoulders dropping. 

'Oh, that's too bad.' Anette said with a warm smile, the two boys leaving shortly after, Isak filled, head to toe, with a sense of utter listlessness. 

*** 

'Well that was pointless.' Isak muttered miserably as they stood in front of Anette's house, wondering what _the hell_ they were going to do next. 'This whole thing has been a waste of time.' The boy threw his arms up in despair. 'All we've gained are some photos and a stupid cat-' 

'Shh! He can hear you!' Magnus shouted with anger, his wide blue eyes infuriated as he shielded the animal’s ears, the cat letting out a small meow as he petted it's head. 'Don't listen to him Copernicus.' Magnus cooed, fluffing the feline's white fur. 'He's just a meanie with an attitude problem.' 

Isak groaned in exasperation. 

'Oh for fucks sake.' He grunted, rolling his eyes in aggravation and gesturing to the cat. 'You wanted him, he's your responsibility, okay?' 

'Shit yeah!' Magnus shouted enthusiastically. 'Mum's gonna love him.' 

Isak just sighed and dropped to the front step of the terrace. 

_How the fuck were they ever going to find him?_

A long moment extended as Isak's head fell into his own hands, the boy's brain a blur. 

'Isak?' Magnus murmured finally, his face earnest, voice breaking through the silence. 

'Yes?' The other teenager mumbled in response, head down. 

'Was it just me or...' Magnus began, as if thinking carefully. '...or was that Anette lady kind of hot?' 

Isak's neck jerked up at this, his expression twisting in disgust. 

'What the _fuck_.' He said in a flat, unimpressed voice, the boy not at all surprised at his friends perversion but thoroughly revolted regardless. 

'Oh come on, bro.' Magnus went on defensively. 'Admit it, you'd put one up her.' 

Isak just blinked, cringing internally at the visual that came to his mind. 

Straight guys were _disgusting_. 

'Firstly,' Isak said in an even voice, wondering why he was even responding to this in a serious fashion. 'No, I would not _put one up her_ -' The boy winced. 'I'm gay.' 

Magnus nodded, as if understanding this, continuing to pet Copernicus with a blank stare. 

'And even if I wasn't.' Isak continued, looking at his companion with unconcealed judgement. 'She's like eighty dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?' 

Magnus frowned, evidently quite stung. 

'I-Isn't that a bit hypocritical?' He said, highly offended. 'You've fucked a ninety-year-old!' 

Isak shook his head, flushing slightly but remaining composed. 

'Even doesn't look ninety, Magnus.' He argued, not having a second of it. 'Anette has a walking stick... She was wearing a hearing aid.' 

'Oh whatever.' Magnus muttered after a few seconds. 'It's not like I'd do anything anyway. I'm totally into Vilde.' 

Isak was unable to hold back a mean-spirited little scoff. 

'Yeah.' He jeered. 'Good luck with that, man. That girl is fucking intense.' 

'I know dude, trust.' Magnus said, agreeing with a shake of his head. 'The other day we were fooling around and she just like, meowed. Bro, I've never come faster in my life-' 

Isak grimaced, truly repulsed, moving towards the other boy to reach for Copernicus, who sat contentedly in his arms. 

'Okay, I'm taking the cat.' Isak snapped, pulling the resisting feline from Magnus. 'That's just fucking sick.' 

The cat squirmed in Isak's awkward hold, thrashing a bit and digging in his claws. 

'It's not like that! At least I'm not into bloodplay.' Magnus teased, face challenging, 'Now _that's_ sick.' 

'Shut the fuck-' Isak began, shrieking suddenly as the cat let out a sharp hiss and scratched at the human, leaving a thin cut at the boy's neck and scrambling out of his grip, landing onto his paws with a small squeak and padding towards Magnus, begging to purr lightly as the other teenager patted his back. 

'Ow!' Isak screeched, rubbing the shallow wound at his throat, startled. 

'Look even Copernicus doesn't like you.' Magnus muttered as he picked up the cat, ruffling the fur at the scruff of his neck. 'He can sense your bad Chi.' 

Isak frowned, dazed and bewildered. 

'Chi?' 

'Your life force energy, Isak.' Magnus said, like it should have been obvious. 'It's a fundamental in Chinese Taoism. Yours is pretty low, animals can feel it.' 

For whatever reason, Isak felt attacked by this statement. 

'My Chi is not low!' 

'Yes it is.' Magnus retorted. 'You are being a Negative Nelly.' 

'What?' The other boy murmured, scowling. 'What are you even saying-' 

'You're acting like it's all hopeless when it really isn’t.' Magnus stated simply. 'Kari and Even grew up in _that_ house, yes?' He pointed fitfully at the dark building. 

Isak nodded, not quite sure what his friend was getting at. 

'Maybe he's hiding out in there, like, it's where he was born and raised, I mean, it's a place of significance.' Magnus explained. 'It makes sense.' 

Isak glowered, groaning again. 

'No, it doesn't make any sense at all!' He exclaimed in frustration. 'He could be in Ethiopia for all we know!' 

'Now that's just stupid, Isak, why would he go to Ethiopia?' 

Isak face-palmed. _He wanted death._

'My bet is on the house.' Magnus continued, voice rife with motivation. 'Like, it looks like exactly the kind of place a vampire would go to reflect and sulk about the failed relationship with his human boyfriend-' 

Isak perked up a bit. It was entirely unlikely, but the teenager was running out of options. 

'You know what?' The boy said suddenly, his posture straightening. 'It's worth a shot.' 

The adolescent got up from the step he was sitting on and moved swiftly towards the other house, walking out onto the empty road, determined. 

'It’s all boarded up.' He murmured upon close inspection, Magnus coming to stand beside him, cat in hand. 'How the fuck would we even get in.' 

'We _break_ in.' Magnus said, as if it was just that easy. 

'Yeah...' Isak muttered dryly. 'But how?' 

'Well, first we've gotta wait for nightfall, it's way too out in the open right now.' Magnus' eyes squinted as he thought. 'Then we’re gonna need a hammer.' 

Isak just nodded, mind racing, willing to go along with all of it. 

'Okay...' Magnus turned to the other, eyes burning into Isak's, his face free of it's usual vacancy, becoming sentient, resolute. 'I say we go home, load up on snacks and caffeine. There's nothing worse than breaking and entering on an empty stomach - and I'm pretty fucking hungry.' 

'Alright.' Isak murmured in subservience. 'We can do that.' 

'And once we're fully loaded-' Magnus went on, his eyes afire with unbridled drive. '-we're gonna come back here at around nine tonight in carefully constructed disguises-' He paused for a long, dramatic moment, adjusting Copernicus, who was become a little restless in his grasp. '-and we're gonna fuck shit up.' 

The other teenager nodded once more. It sounded like a better plan than anything he could think of and although Magnus was an idiot and following his guidance was most likely a very very bad idea, at this point, Isak Valtersen was willing to try _anything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Live people ignore the strange and unusual"  
> \- Beetlejuice, 1988
> 
>  
> 
> I apologize for taking so long with this, I have been suffering from the absolute worst writer's block of my existence. It has taken me a whole week of sulking, eating copious amounts of instant noodles and avoiding of all of my responsibilities for this chapter to be slowly pieced together, and although Vampire!Even is still absent from the narrative, I hope you enjoyed this or at the very least found it funny. I know how stressful it can be when waiting for a fic to update and I'm sorry for being an unmotivated bitch. Thank you for your patience, I have every intention of updating shortly, however it may take - at most - a week, as I have been plagued with many the unwanted assignment. Next chapter is going to be A LOT so please, take the time to drink some tea and mentally prepare yourselves. Do comment and leave kudos if you haven't already and have a wonderful day/night/existence.


	19. "Come what may, I will love you until my dying day"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that this took almost a week over the amount of time I said it would, I was simply having a lot of difficulty with this particular chapter and was very unsatisfied with my earlier drafts. Again, I would like to say thank you to everyone who reads this, especially those of you who comment, you are truly wonderful, insightful little beings of joy. Feedback is much appreciated, have a lovely day. <3
> 
> Trigger warning: This chapter contains moderate violence and mild satanic references.

Isak waited at the bus stop, sitting rigidly on the provided metal seating and shivering in the cold, withdrawing into his heavy black parka as the night air washed over him. 

The sky was dark blue and the crescent moon was cut into a thin white sliver, obscured slightly by swirling grey clouds, not a star in sight, the atmosphere desolate, eerie. 

The teenager was waiting for Magnus, the two boys deciding to go home separately in order to eat and properly prepare for their break-in, Isak growing anxious as the minutes passed by, wondering idly if his friend had ditched him. 

He looked at his phone, it was 9:20. He'd been by himself in the darkness for almost half an hour and he was becoming increasingly fearful, Isak Valtersen of all people knowing exactly what kinds of horrors the night was home to. 

His heartbeat started to hammer in his ears as he peered down the open and empty street, few people outside, the area hauntingly still, dim-lit and distinctly quiet, unusual for a Friday night, fine perspiration prickling at the back of his neck as he noticed that aside from a few roaming, grave-faced loiterers, he was well and truly alone. 

The boy found himself rising from the bench, trembling as he thought back to the night, months ago, now, in which he had been attacked, cornered in the alleyway and leered at like a piece of meat by a grimy, revolting stranger. He thought of what would have happened if it hadn't been for Even, if the vampire had not been there to save him. 

Isak shuddered, willed only by pure fear, beginning to pace frantically from the bus bay, hands in his pockets, mind drifting, his gut twisting as a horrifying realization settled into the crevices of his brain. 

_Even would not be around to save him this time._

The boy was just about to cross the road, opting to wait for his friend in the safety of a nearby cafe, when the adolescent suddenly felt rough arms come around him, his blood freezing, the teenager letting out a high pitched yelp as he turned to face his attacker, easily shoving him off and scampering back, heart jolting to his throat and eyes squeezing shut, shivering in trepidation. 

'Fuck!' Isak coughed, hysterical, the strangers face appearing to be masked, shielded in the haze, the man's outline murky and indistinct, menacing. 

'Isak!' The man exclaimed jovially, his voice light, that of a boy, excited and familiar, his scent strong, a strange mixture of cheap aftershave and Doritos. 

_Magnus._

'Oh my god!' Isak shrieked, voice high and strung out, the boy inundated with what felt like an amalgamation of bewilderment and relief, his breathing beginning to regulate and panic slowly evading his body as he inspected the other, Magnus appearing utterly terrifying, dressed entirely in black and donning a full-face mask, sloppily cut holes revealing his eyes and mouth, the boy even going the extra mile, wearing a tool belt strapped across his chest and what appeared to be knee-pads. 

'What the fuck, man!' Isak exclaimed breathily, hand on his heart, inhaling deeply, trying to hide how completely petrified he had been. 

Magnus, who had never really been the compassionate kind, began to laugh, doubling over as the other just stared in a state of abject shock. 

'I thought you were a fucking serial killer!' Isak shouted unevenly as Magnus continued to snicker, straightening his posture in order to speak. 

'It's just my disguise.' He explained between laughter. 'You should have seen your face, man-' he panted out, holding his stomach with a huge grin plastered on his stupid face. 

'I thought you said we needed to be inconspicuous!' Isak protested, voice almost whiny as he gestured in exasperation to his friends elaborate attire. 

The boys had agreed to wear black in order to easily blend in with the night. Magnus had obviously gone a little overboard, the boy dressed like a _fucking burglar._

 _ _'What?' He asked, dumbfounded, his expression becoming serious, seemingly offended. 'Is the ski mask too much?'__

 _ _

'Yes!' Isak exclaimed fretfully. 'Yes, the ski mask is too much!' 

His friend huffed in irritation, pulling off the covering aggressively, his blonde shaggy hair sticking up in a mess and his face twisted in dejection. 

'I looked cool.' He mumbled unhappily. 

'We are going on public transport.' Isak sighed, frustrated. 'And take off the knee pads. You look like a fucking ninja turtle.' 

*** 

The teenagers walked into the empty road, Isak stalling slightly as his eyes roved over the large, sinister building, Even's childhood home, dark and concealed slightly by the thick, unkempt shrubbery that bordered it, it's ambiance made even blacker in the dimness of night. 

Anette's house, which sat adjacent and on the other side of the court, possessed the only discernible light in the street, a strange pink glow emanating from the stain glass windows and offbeat whale music sounding, the thumping of bongo drums cutting softly through the gloom. 

'That'll be the Mediterranean dance class.' Isak muttered snidely, turning his head from Ms Johansen’s dwelling as both boys neared their target direction. 

They hesitated at the front yard, Magnus surveying the rest of the street while Isak took a deep, steadying breath, bracing himself. 

_What if...?_

His mind raced, his heart rate increasing as his head spun. 

_What if Even really was in that house?_

He quivered, throat tightening in anxiety. 

'The coast is clear.' Magnus announced after a moment, voice ridiculously austere, the boy inching onto the lawn and stretching his leg forward as if to mimic a praying mantis, his face solemn, focused. 

_Idiot._

Isak rolled his eyes and followed after him cautiously, gaze darting everywhere in paranoia as they reached the small veranda that laced the house's front, the teenagers stopping once again at the steps, looking at each other as if they had only then, in that second, completely registered what they were about to do. 

Magnus slung a friendly arm around Isak's shoulders, lessening the unease of the situation, the other teenager squirming slightly, however, all in all, starting to get used to his friend's excessive but platonic gestures of affection, unbothered by the embrace. 

'Look at us, Isak.' Magnus remarked, squeezing the other a little tighter, eyes twinkling. 'We're like the dream team...' 

'I am not on any team with you, Magnus.' Isak said indifferently, mustering some gumption before shrugging the other adolescent off and walking towards the very entrance of the house. 

The front door was shut, the windows barricaded with thick planks of wood nailed in horizontally across the glass, Isak huffing as he realized that their task may be near impossible. 

'Did you bring that hammer?' He asked Magnus abruptly, the other boy reaching into his belt and pulling out the required implement in an instance. 

'Look at that Mags, you're actually good for something.' Isak muttered teasingly, taking the hammer from him and frowning in contemplation. 

'Bro, you love me.' Magnus crooned with a smile, unscathed by the other's acidity. 'I can see it in your little gay eyes.' 

Isak scoffed mean-spiritedly. 

'Shit, man, maybe you should start wearing glasses because I don't think you’re seeing correctly.' 

Isak squinted slightly in assessment before he wedged the back of the hammer behind one of the pieces of board, brows gathering in determination, the boy pulling with all his strength, a small noise of disgruntlement escaping him as he managed to split the wood and pry it, with difficulty, from the window. 

Magnus just strolled about the terrace, not at all helping and instead tinkling absentmindedly with the items in his belt and humming to himself. 

'Why you gotta be so dismissive?' He complained with a laugh. 'Like. We could have it all, we could be besties like Bill and Ted, I'd be Keanu Reeves and you'd be the less famous, less attractive one.' 

Isak grunted, not at all inclined towards hands-on labour, starting to break into a heavy sweat as he laboriously removed another plank, panting coarsely as he did so. 

'Again.' Isak breathed out with a harboured groan, distinctly uninterested in his companion's drivel. 'I don't know what you're talking about.' 

' _Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure_?' Magnus exclaimed. 'Dude!? It's like a classic 80's bro-film. You really need to do your homework.' 

'Fuck.' Isak heaved, steadily ignoring the other, clammy hands slipping around the hammer as he struggled with a particular piece of wood, face going red as he aggressively wrenched it in half, splinters flying around him as he moved on to the next plank. 'God-fucking-dammit.' He muttered to himself through clenched teeth. 

'Jesus Christ.' Magnus mumbled with a smirk before wandering out of eyeshot. 'Don't give yourself a hernia.' 

Isak just continued with his work, pushing past the tired ache of his arms, wood chips imbedded in his hair, the splinters only just having missed his eyes. 

'How else are we going to get into this fucking hell hole?' He spat irrately as he braced himself, gasping in air before he moved to tear off another thick slat, jumping back in fright as he was met with Magnus' face, laughing at him through the glass of the window, his blue eyes wide, his smugness visible even in the minimal light, Isak gasping and falling back into the framework of the terrace, hammer flying out of his hand and landing in a nearby bush. 

'How...?' He murmured in a daze, wincing as he lifted himself from where he had landed on the deck, flat on his ass. 

'Dude.' Magnus called out merrily as he pranced from the window, opening the front door from the inside of the house and dancing out onto the veranda, looking at Isak with a disapproving shake of his head. 'The front door was opened the whole time...' 

'What!?' Isak shouted in exasperation, his body hurting all over from the physical exertion, his entire face flushed scarlet and sheathed in a veil of sweat. 'Why wouldn't you check that bro...?' Magnus muttered as Isak came to his feet with a sudden hostility, storming into the building in a state of burning fury. 'And to think, everyone says _I'm_ the stupid one.' 

'Shut up Magn-' The other muttered bitterly, wiping his face with his sleeve as he did so, his words cut short when he lifted his gaze, taking in the exterior of the house. The front room was empty, only a few shapes visible amidst the pitch black; the outlines of the wallboards, the high rafters from which hung a singular, sparsely ornamented chandelier, it's muted crystals barely touched by the dull, ghostly light of the moon that filtered through the remaining slats of the window, the place heavy with a feeling of grief, grief that bore into Isak, sticking thick within his stomach, coating his intestine and making him tremor. 

'This is some fucked-up, Grave Encounters type shit, man.' Magnus murmured, equally confronted, the teenager immediately turning on the flashlight of his phone and sweeping the narrow light over the room, the pair staying close together, both respectively terrified, Isak even going so far as to awkwardly grip at Magnus's elbow, their wide eyes following the torch, the front of the building seemingly empty, devoid of even a single piece of furnishing. 

'Th-this reminds me of an episode of Buffy where sh-she-' Magnus began. 

'Enough about Buffy!' Isak ordered, voice panicked and irritated, cutting him off yet still refusing to let go of his arm. 'We have to stay focused. We have to find h-him.' 

The boy had tried to sound strong but his voice broke on his last word, betraying him. 

There was no point trying to hide it. Isak was absolutely petrified. Anette's house had seemed moderately haunted but _this_ took the prospect to a whole other level. Isak wanted to leave, he wanted to turn and run and never return to this ghoulish, forsaken building with it’s frightening high ceilings and encapsulating darkness and eerie emptiness. But he couldn't. The sheer possibility, albeit it minuscule, that Even was somewhere in the house, kept the teenager stuck in his place, transfixed there. _He couldn't turn back._ _He had to try._

The boy swallowed down a panic attack, pure adrenaline beginning to pulse through him, the adolescent letting go of Magnus and taking his phone from him, lighting a path and charging deeper into the premises, the other stumbling after him, offering little words of half-heated encouragement as Isak half-sprinted up the rickety staircase, the foundations of the building creaking with every heavy step, his knuckles going white as he clutched at the faltering railing for support. 

Once on the second floor, the boy was overcome with a feeling of blinding, almost crazed desperation, nearly forgetting to breathe as he bounded from room to room, eyes glazed over and searching frantically, coming up empty, the teenager suppressing his ever increasing fear as he was met with nothing but endless black, again and again, the desolation of the house immeasurable, suffocating, his lungs almost giving in under the pressure. 

It was only when the boys came to a particular doorway, high and daunting and situated at the very back of the residence, that Isak was forced into a state of stillness, the blaring, impenetrable silence of the building somewhat thicker there, the chilling atmosphere causing him to freeze, both adolescents becoming almost paralysed by a sense of unfathomable dread. 

'I don't like the chakric energy here.' Magnus said quietly, dead serious, staying close to Isak, his form shivering against him. 'It’s really fucking low. I don't know what's in that room, man, but I don't wanna go in there-' 

'Magnus!' Isak exclaimed erratically, turning to the other boy who had extended what looked like a makeshift dagger towards the door. 'You can't back out now! This was your fucking idea-' 

The teenagers green, teary eyes fell to the weapon in his friend’s hand, tension slipping from him and his face scrunching in confusion. 

'Is that a... s-stake?' He asked absently, almost in a daze. 

'Yes.' Magnus said simply, thrusting it forward once again into the doorway, dramatically fending off absolutely nothing. 

'Why the fuck did you bring a stake?' Isak questioned again, reaching to snatch the dagger off of the other with a scornful expression. 

_How did he even make that?_

'We're vampire hunting.' Magnus explained, dropping his posture and shrugging as if it was an obvious point. 

Isak started. 

'No we aren't!' The boy exclaimed wrathfully, grabbing for the weapon again. 'For fuck’s sake, we are not hunting Even!' He huffed. 'I'm trying to make a romantic gesture!' 

'Oh.' Magnus mumbled, implement still in his grasp, his eyes squinting dumbly. 'Yeah... I knew that...' 

'Put the stake down!' Isak ordered hysterically, arms raised in annoyance as the other just stared at him blankly. 'Put it down!' 

Magnus blinked a few more times before reluctantly letting go of the dagger, the wooden apparatus hitting the aged floorboards with a loud clank. 

'Sorry.' He said curtly, mouth turning into a pout, sulking like a child. 'It’s not like I was going to slay him or anything. It was just an accessory. God.' 

'Just. Shut up.' Isak muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration before gathering himself and advancing to enter the room ahead. 'We need to check in here. It's the last room.' He announced resolutely, clutching to the last, fraying threads of hope, his jaw clenching as he opened the door, gulping, a cold chill creeping down his spine. 

The temperature seemed to drop as soon as the boy entered the new space, an icy draft pouring over him as he slowly dragged the light of his torch over the weathered, panelled walls of the small compartment, the cobwebs draped amongst the woodwork of the ceiling becoming illuminated, glistening wet with moisture, Isak puffing out ragged breath that turned into a whirling fog as it left his lips. 

'There’s nothing in here.' Magnus whispered, standing almost directly behind Isak, pressed into him imposingly, shaking in terror. 'It’s the same as all the others, we should leav-' 

But his speech was cut by the effeminate, blood-curdling scream that escaped him as Isak's flashlight landed on the spectacle directly ahead of them, Magnus' arms flying forward to grasp the other teenager around the waist for support, pulling him closer, body convulsing in violent quakes against Isak, who had just about gone numb, his bodily reflexes switching off almost in a state of shock and his mouth falling open, both boys staring ahead of them with gaping expressions of unadulterated horror. 

'Fuck... fuck! Nope!' Magnus cried shakily, almost sobbing as he edged back, pulling Isak with him, hugging his friend's back to his chest. 

Isak was so stunned that he forgot to complain about the contact, letting himself be gripped and dragged to the far side of the room, clung to like a life-sized doll. 

'W-we need to leave.. That is some satanic, fucked up, mother-fucking shit and I don't want _anything_ to do with it.' 

What Magnus was referring to was on the wall adjacent to them, the surface painted over in jewel-tones, blues, greens and reds, applied thickly to the chipping wood, the garish pigments coming together to form what appeared to be an appropriation of the Christian concept of The Devil, an imposing, scarlet-hued figure extending to the high ceiling, muscular arms outstretched across the timber, talon-like nails twisting from thick, vein-popped fingers and large, black, curved horns protruding from the crown of the beast’s skull, it’s head resembling that of a goat, it's sinister eyes painted black, like voids, bottomless and flat, pointed fangs jutting out ominously from it's mouth, painted in pure white, the teeth glinting threateningly even in the darkness. 

Surrounding the image was a number of indecipherable ramblings, a series unrecognizable runes and what appeared to be quotes from the bible, the letters scrawled in paint, the handwriting almost incomprehensible, Isak reeling, gasping slightly, recognizing it immediately. 

It was all there in the art, the same expressive line work, the same implication of movement, the exaggerated, intensified sense of naturalism. 

_Even._

_Even had painted this._

Magnus was hyperventilating, face buried in the crook of Isak's neck, hiding from the monster on the wall and panting, his proximity unwelcomed, his frantic breath unpleasantly tickling the other boy's skin. 

'Urgh.' Isak choked out, elbowing Magnus off of him. 'Pull it together, man.' 

He left his friend to cower alone in the corner of the room, the teenager moving closer to the painting in order to inspect it, shining light on smaller parts of the image and frowning in absorption. It certainly wasn't painted recently, that much he could surmise, the colour bold but aged, settled into the grooves of the wood, the outlines faded considerably up close, chipping and flaking away. Scattered, residual fragments of yellowing floral wallpaper peppered the entirety of the image, this denoting the fact that it had once been covered, that concealment eventually torn down, the beast freed, given air. 

Even must have painted it when he was human, most likely in the midst of a psychotic breakdown, Kari, perhaps, being the one to eventually liberate the portrait, probably in order to try to properly understand the dark side of her brother, the soft, loving brother Isak was sure he had been, the mural, although horrifying, possessing a beauty, a savagery, a distinct aura of _Even,_ the teenager absentmindedly stepping forward to touch the layered, decrepit paintwork, running his fingers over it and letting the sombreness of everything rain down over him, fascinated in the soft rivets and lumps left by the messy brushstrokes. 

'D-dude...' Magnus fretted from the other side of the room, Isak turning to find his friend quite literally holding himself still, arms wrapped around his own body, the shaggy-haired boy shuddering, devoid of his usual giddiness, eyes haunted, face paled, every last sliver of mirth slapped from him. 

'H-how come you aren't freaked out by this...?' He cried shakily. 'It's so... fucked... I-I think... I think I've pissed myself...' 

Isak wrinkled his nose at the admission, and although no signs of urine were perceivable, the teenager made a mental note to keep his distance from the other for the remainder of the expedition. 'You have no idea the kind shit I have seen.' Isak muttered dryly, all earlier fear evading him, shrugging. 'This is a painting, it’s nothing.' 

He gathered himself, turning from Even's depiction of Lucifer with a wistful sigh, hands clenching into anxious fists. 

'This is an old house.' He whispered, beginning to wander out of the room, flashlight in hand. 'There has to be a basement.' 

*** 

The basement, it turned out, was not very difficult to find, the boy charging back down to the second floor, heart leaping in his chest, Magnus scuttling wearily behind him, the cellar door right beside the minuscule, deserted, white-tiled kitchen, Isak wrenching it open without hesitation, mind ablaze with determination, beginning to ascend unsteadily down the shoddily built steps and into the immense darkness. 

'W-what are you doing?' Magnus called out fearfully, standing at the threshold, trembling visibly, still evidently shaken and reluctant to go any further. 

'I’m checking the basement.' Isak snapped, not at all caring if his companion followed, the adolescent stepping down onto the loose floorboards, unable to see his friend who still stood above, the boy lighting the small, empty room, dark and decaying like all the others in the house, the only article within being a large, black, nondescript suitcase that sat in the far corner of the space, the teenager beginning to feel the crawling sting of hopelessness as he paced through the tiny abyss. 

'I-I'll just wait out here.' Magnus shouted down, voice breaking. 'To keep look out.' 

_Pussy._

But the boy couldn't find humor in his friend’s trepidation, a hard lump forming in his throat and a gentle twang manifesting in his stomach as profound but undesirable truth began to set in. 

_Even wasn't here._

The boy began to drop to his knees, deflated, falling like a puppet getting slowly released from it's strings, limbs lifeless, eyes bleary, body feeling like led, his entire form jolting when suddenly he heard a quiet but distinct creak from the very back of the forsaken basement, hushed but ringing clear, unmissable even in his state of defeat. 

'Magnus!' Isak yelled out, jumping up as if electrocuted, eyes widening as he slowly moved to the centre of the cellar, looking out in anticipation, buzzing with anxiety. 

'What?' He heard the other ask faintly from outside, the desperation in Isak's voice seemingly to propel Magnus to step fearfully down the stairs. 

'Did you hear that?!' Isak exclaimed, beginning to pace about the room, hands threading in his own hair, eyes squinting in concentration as if it were possible to will the sound back to him, the teenager’s movements manic, scrambling for the source. 

'Look... Bro.' Magnus started, voice strangely sympathetic as he cautiously entered the tiny room. 'I didn't hear anything... I'm not saying you made it up but-' 

'I heard someone. I swear I did. I heard-.' The other shot out breathlessly, stopping himself short, ducking in a frenzy, eyes glassy, determined. 

'I don't know if-' Magnus tried again. 

'He has to be here.' The boy said, wringing his hands and choking back threatening tears. 'Where else would he be?' He asked almost angrily, crazed, shooting Magnus a frantic, demanding glance, the sentence less like a question and more like a vocal manifestation of the all-consuming fruitlessness of the situation. 

'Where else would he be?' He repeated, voice lowering, even softer, his shoulders dropping in vanquish, thin frame stuttering. 

'H-he could be anywhere, Isak.' Magnus said quietly, after a long moment extended between them, the friend crossing the room in order to comfort the other boy, resting a hand on his arm, Isak unfeeling of it, caught up in his own thoughts, circling, struggling to breathe. 'H-he's just not _here_.' 

Magnus's face was weary, careful, eyes filled with concern. 

'I'm so fucking weak.' Isak cried quietly, heart twisting as sobs began to rip softly from him, the pain no longer suppressible, broiling over and spilling outwardly. 'He probably doesn't even want me anymore...' 

And although, to the core of him, Isak knew that couldn't be true, that is wasn't possible, the thought still ate away at his soul, tormenting him, leaving him breathless, agonized. 

'Even loves you, Isak.' Magnus said simply, pulling the other boy into an awkward hug. 'He loves you like Angel loves Buffy and it's going to work out.' 

Isak ignored the reference, barely even scoffing as he neither sank into nor pulled away from Magnus' hold, his body needing support, his ailing mind needing reassurance. 

'And you're not weak.' The other boy continued, patting Isak's shoulder, the touch mechanic but well-meaning, the weeping adolescent feeling vaguely soothed. 

'I mean, if it's any consolation, bro, I think all of this shows that you're pretty fucking brave.' Magnus' voice was sombre, wistful, the other teenager taken aback by the sobriety of his register but finding a strange comfort in it regardless. 'Like, despite everything going against you, you're still willing to fight, not only for yourself but in the name of love.' Magnus let him go, looking Isak in the eyes and offering him a fist. 'You're stronger than you look man. Respect.' 

The other obliged him weakly, the two fist bumping, the gesture causing Isak, even in his state of distress, to let out a small, weary laugh, his hand lifting to swat away his own tears. 

'Thanks Magnus.' He croaked out after a long moment, the words simple but holding vast weight, Isak filled top to toe with gratitude. 'You're a pretty cool guy yourself.' 

Magnus beamed at this, teeth flashing even in the gloom of the basement, the boy ecstatic. 

'I know right? I'm the coolest. No one gets it.' He laughed, expression quickly smoothing, becoming solemn. 'Anyway, I have a feeling that vampire fucker will come around. He'd have to be stupid to let go of a sick bitch like you.' 

Isak hoped that Magnus, for the first time in his life, was right, he hoped with all his heart that Even _would_ come around, that the vampire would see reason. But the boy couldn't help but shudder at the nagging feeling in his chest, telling him that his searching was pointless, that his hopeful pursuit of the phantasmagorical young man was useless; all in vain. 

*** 

**I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear. It tore the wiring of my brain, I did my best to keep it clear. So dear no matter how we part I hold you sweetly in my head, And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.**

The boy stared at the words that filled the screen of his phone, the text from an unknown number, sent to him once he had returned to the flat after he and Magnus had raided Even's childhood home, Isak having to leave, having to accept, with a heavy, aching heart, the fact that the vampire was gone, that Even was nowhere to be found. 

The passage had become instilled deep within the mortal's brain, looping, only increasing the bitter pain, only deepening his frustration. 

The message was clearly from Even, the thought that the creature was still out there thinking of Isak, eating away at the human's tormented mind, swallowing his consciousness and prohibiting from moving forward. 

Even now, as he sat in history, the following Monday afternoon, slouched in the back, hoodie drawn over his head, blonde hair messy and falling into his reddened, dry eyes, the adolescent couldn't stop wondering about the older boy, thinking of where he might be and why he couldn't just come back. Why he couldn't just return or instead, allow for the mortal to simply grief, grapple with the loss and go on miserably with life. 

He read over the words, unable to listen to the seemingly faceless teacher that stood at the front of the classroom, not willing nor able to hear at all, the sounds around him contorted and distant, as if he was underwater, encased in silence, his body giving in, floating serenely to the bottom, deep down, the boy surrendering and drifting into nothingness. 

He fidgeted with his pen, flicking it listlessly across the table, his entire abdomen craned over his desk as his attention was suddenly drawn to the class, his tired ears pricking as the teacher gave the lesson directions in a flat, uninterested voice, gesturing lazily to the whiteboard as she did so. 

'And now...' She muttered haplessly. 'We are going to be looking at how Civilians lived in German occupied Norway during the Second World War and the various ways people prepared for attacks and air raids... Please turn to page 82 of your textbooks and read the information in order to answer questions 1-7 on Bunkers, Bomb Shelters and Survival.' 

Isak's eyes widened, the boy opening his workbook to the designated page and skimming over the information, a sensation that felt not dissimilar to excitement beginning to build within him. 

**Bomb shelters were built within most 1940s Norwegian homes as the threat of air raids were a daily reality.** Isak's breath hitched, becoming rigid in his seat, his eyes flitting across the page, his thoughts racing as his mind sprinted, moving in bounds, making connections. 

**Fallout shelters were typically built either on the outside grounds of the house or installed beneath basements, and often contained bedding, rations, oil lamps and various first aid supplies in case of long term containment.**

Without so much as a pause, Isak slammed the textbook shut, shoving his belongings into his backpack in a frenzy and rising from his seat in the middle of the lesson, a number of students turning to gawk at the now red faced teenager that tore through the tables and chairs and darted for the door. 

'Isak Valtersen!' The teacher called, seeming to do it purely out of obligation, generally unfazed, barely standing from where she leaned sluggishly against the front desk, her careless demeanour indicating that she was in no mood to chase after him. 'Where are you going?' 

But Isak wasn't listening. He didn't care about her or his classmates or their whispered snickers or curious eyes, some of the more disruptive pupils even going as far as to chant hollers after him. 

He couldn't hear any of it. 

There had been a noise below the basement, a creak, a movement, the boy was sure. 

_It all made sense._

The adolescent’s heart began to shudder against his ribcage as he burst down the school hall in an almost deranged flurry, his breathing coming out shallow and strangled, hysteria settling in his gut. He knew where he needed to go. 

_Everything was clear now._

_Isak knew where Even was._

*** 

Isak burst through the front door of the home in which Even grew up, his vision tunnelled, the teenager unhinged yet indescribably focused, his thoughts clear, the teenager more alert than he had ever been in all of his seventeen years of existence. 

The boy charged for the cellar door, it's bright red paint evident now in the soft glow of twilight, the adolescent throwing down his schoolbag at the threshold before lunging for the cold handle, tearing into the basement, every hair on his body standing on edge, every centimetre of his skin flushed. 

'Even!' He screamed as he paced the dark room, his voice strangled, inexplicably irate. 'Even!' the teenager shouted again, breathing ragged, not at all caring how loud he was or who heard him or whether or not he disturbed the neighbours. 

He would scream and scream and scream, he would scream until he felt like he couldn't anymore, until his throat was strained and raw. Even then, the boy wouldn't stop, not once, not until he was answered, not until his lover heard. 

'Even! Even!' But there was no reply. 

_He was there._

Isak knew that now, felt it in every fibre of his being. 

The adolescent, physically drained from his travel yet determined, dropped to sit down on the large suitcase that still resided within the attic, willing to wait it out, body hitting the briefcase with more force that he had intended, the teenager, now somewhat comfortable, opening his mouth to shout for Even once more, when suddenly, the ground beneath him was splitting open. 

'Fuck!' Isak screeched as the aged floorboards gave in around him with a defining crack, the boy's insides jolting as he lost all equilibrium, gravity evading him as he fell through the floor like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, his mind ablaze with a sense of foggy surrealism as he seemed to levitate in mid air for an elongated second, before crashing down with the suitcase onto a hard, cold surface, his body reeling inwardly at the force, the boy quivering amongst the rubble as hot pain swept over him, his spine twisted, his leg grazed from ankle to hip and what felt like a broken chunk of flooring pressing unforgivingly from behind him at the small of his back. 

'Fuck.' He murmured again, breathlessly now, momentarily losing sight of reality, fleetingly confused. 

His eyes darted around him. There was nothing but black to be seen, his vision straining against the murkiness, only the tiniest whisper of light seeping into the space from the open cellar door above, the boy glaring up to the vast, gaping opening he had fallen through before the attention of his faltering eyes was dragged to his left, his terrified gaze sweeping the lightless vault in which he was now trapped. 

Movement. Isak might have been going crazy, his brain amiss, having suffered from the fall, but the teenager could have sworn on all that was good and pure in the world that he saw something move amidst the shadows. 

His heart began to throb in his chest, much too quickly, painful in it's velocity, hitting into his aching ribcage as it pumped his blood with rampant speed. And then, so sudden and unexpected that the boy almost forgot to react to it, Isak felt something near him. 

_Even._

Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for the onslaught of emotion that assaulted his frail, injured body as he felt the sudden warmth and weight of another person press over him, as he felt himself being straddled, pushed down further into the pile of broken wood on which he was sprawled, as he inhaled the deep, sweet smell of violets and leather and _something else_ , as his entire mind was soaked with the unmistakable scent and feel of Even. 

His soul ached, tingling with relief, wet tears beginning to drip in heavy streams from his unseeing eyes, his every muscle trembling, turning to liquid, the boy feeling as if he would just melt into the ground, shatter to nothing under his lover's touch, the touch he hadn't felt for weeks, the touch he had thought he might never feel again. 

'E-ven.' He sobbed out as he reached weakly for the vampire’s face, desperate to feel the older boy's skin under his fingertips, wanting his full lips, once more, against his own. 

But something was wrong, _very very wrong._

Isak let out a pained, guttural scream as each of his hands were grasped in a hard, punishing hold, the boy hearing his own bones crunch against each other as his arms were pinned aggressively to his sides, the creature above him letting out a low, animalistic growl that caused the blood in Isak's veins to turn to ice. 

The boy thrashed against the iron grip, whimpering in agony, both of mind and body, shuddering with tears as the vampire let go of the human's now swollen fingers only to grasp the teenager by the shoulders with cruel force, his nails digging harshly into the mortal's clavicles as he slammed him violently into the stony ground beneath him, the adolescent snivelling as his head snapped back limply, hitting against slate, his mind turning to static as pain took him. 

'W-why...?' He cried softly, his skin still tingling where Even had touched him, his heart still fluttering, even now as he was being mercilessly attacked. 

The creature wasn't sentient, moving too jaggedly, too quickly, a monstrous grunt escaping his lips as razor sharp teeth came down to puncture the fragile skin at Isak's throat, the boy's spine curling, his entire form arching upwardly as his struggle was intercepted with a savage, deep bite, the human letting out a dry moan as the first hit of bittersweet pleasure struck him, the vampire's venom co-mingling with his blood. 

This wasn't a _love bite_. This wasn't like the soft, passionate grazing of teeth the older boy lovingly administered during sex. This was like the very first time he'd ever been bitten, sitting on the bench in the backyard of that boring party on that fateful night that changed everything. This bite was murderous, brutal and lethal and so painful that it made the teenager feel numb. 

Even was going to kill him. 

_But... why?_

It didn't make any sense to Isak, the boy sobbing, hanging helplessly between agony and euphoria as Even drank from him, the vampire's mouth devouring, his sucking rampant and feverish, like he had been starving, suffering, like he hadn't consumed anything in weeks. 

And then it all occurred to the boy. 

Even probably _hadn't_ consumed anything in weeks. 

The adolescent remembered the young man's words, spoken so long ago now, whispered quietly in the warm safety of Isak's bed. 

_A vampire doesn't necessarily need blood to live, it's more like we need blood to function_. 

The teenager groaned as Even pulled back for only a quarter of a second, lapping at the blood that dripped down Isak's collarbone, the boy shivering under the hot, smooth tongue before the vampires pointed fangs sank even deeper into the boy, gliding easily into his neck, like the human's flesh was made of butter. 

__

_Over time you become senseless._

The creature had told him. 

_You lose complete sight of who you are and what you've done, you turn into a true animal, nothing on your mind except for the dull ache of hunger._

Even had starved himself. He had starved himself and he had crawled down into that bunker beneath his childhood home just to waste away and _rot._

__

Isak thought of his lover there, in that forsaken little cell, hidden for all those weeks, isolated in darkness, hating himself so much that he wanted to perish, hating himself so much that he lost his mind, slowly morphing into a deranged, loveless animal, slowly morphing into a _monster._

__

A monster that was killing Isak. 

__

The boy let out one last cry of anguish before he let his body become slumped, surrendering, allowing his lover to drain him lifeless. 

__

If anyone was going to be the death of the teenager then Isak was glad it was Even Bech Naesheim, it was poetic almost, meaningful, dying for love, the noblest cause, the best way to go. 

__

Isak Valtersen had never thought about his last words, had never put much thought into what he'd say and often wondered if there was any point in saying anything at all. 

__

However, now, as he slipped from living to dead, in the bruising arms of the man who owned his heart, the man who was killing him, drawing the life from his mortal body, the boy felt inexplicably prompted to say something, to speak, to vocalize the one truth he had come to know, to let it have air, to let the creature hear it somehow, even in his state of savage delirium, the adolescent hoping for the words to touch the monster's beautiful mind, even subconsciously, for the sentiment to reach him, to heal him, to stitch up his broken soul. 

__

As the vampire sunk his teeth further into the human's flesh, making the boy convulse in agony, hot blood dripping from the wound over which his full lips were parted, sucking hungrily, the feeding a messy, gruesome and excruciating spectacle, the adolescent reached a weak, shattered hand to grasp shakily at the monsters silken gold hair, feeling it between his fingers, feather-soft, being reminded of the Even he had known, the gentle boy, the passionate lover, the artist, the visionary, the angel. 

__

Slipping away, letting the bonds of life evade him, feeling them free his wrists and ankles, hurtling him towards death, Isak choked out his three last words, words only a few months ago he'd never expect himself to say to anyone, words that he didn't want to take to his grave, words, like rain aching to leave blackened clouds, that needed to be said. 

__

'I-I love you.' Isak whispered in a soft wail, speech obstructed by the tears that had formed in his eyes, the tears that continued to trail down his pale cheeks, his skin whitened unnaturally by blood loss. 

__

The boy accepted his fate, holding the monster closer to his body, wanting to feel every line of his lover as he died, even if he were tensed and violent and killing him. 

He heard Sonja's harsh words, echoing in his ears endlessly, over and over, burning into the indents of his brain, scarring him. _Blood always prevails, blood always wins_. 

__

But something changed in the vampire, the creature stiffening with each of the boy's words, the sucking sensation evading Isak's throat, his blood no longer being drawn, the arms around him becoming careful and fretful, loosening, Even's bloodied mouth lifting from the adolescent’s neck, his wide blue eyes sparkling in the darkness, sentient and staring at Isak with tormented astonishment. 

__

And suddenly the boy was being pulled frantically into a gentle cradle, his head pressed softly into Even's chest, cool hands coming down at the jagged puncture at his neck as he heard a sob rip from the older male's throat, the young man grappling at Isak's wound as if trying to hold it shut, stop it from bleeding out more, pools of sickening crimson liquid coating the both of them, staining them irreversibly. 

__

'I-Isak!' Even coughed out, pulling the boy back slightly and resting a reddened, trembling hand to the teenager’s pallid face, tapping lightly, his lips planting frenzied, warm kisses on Isak's forehead, cheeks and chin, all over, bloodied fingers meshing in his golden curls, trying to rouse the human who was already half dead and driven slightly mad by physical pain, Isak staring back at Even with a look of dreamy indifference, the vampire, even in the gloom, appearing like a god to the boy, like a wingless angel, the teenager, despite it all, filled with a sense of peaceful euphoria for having cut through his lover's blood-starved psychosis, for having witnessed what he himself had done, for having proven Sonja wrong. 

__

His mamma had been right all along. Love would always prevail. And even if the boy died right then and there, he would die happily, knowing that love was all powerful, strong enough to unite two completely different people, strong enough to conquer the potent grips of a vampire’s lust for blood, strong enough to pull the human from the monster, because _human_ after all, that's all that anyone was. 

__

'No, no, no, no, no-' The older male fretted, rocking Isak in his arms, pink liquid spilling from his pretty blue eyes. 'Y-you weren't supposed to come down here.' He whimpered, his features twisted in sheer torment, looking utterly helpless. 'You weren't supposed to find me. No!' 

__

He held the younger boys face in his slick, red hands, pulling him up so that their foreheads were touching, crying hopelessly, their tears mixing, their respective pain becoming one. 

__

'No... No...' Even sobbed without breath, moving to clutch both of Isak's hands in one of his, his other arm keeping the trembling adolescent tight against his chest as he pressed tender, warm lips to the boy's fingers, the cold digits numb and purple, becoming lifeless. 'What have I done...?'

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Come what may, I will love you until my dying day"  
> \- Moulin Rogue!, 2001


	20. "You can stay forever"

Black. 

That's all Isak Valtersen could see as he drifted away, seven miles deep to the bottom of the ocean, trapped within tranquilizing silence, all air knocked clean out of his lungs, his brain decaying as he drowned, quiet serenity enveloping his entire form, the water around him gentle, soft but steady, swaying him tenderly as he sunk to his death. 

All pain was gone now, the boy forgetting who he was, forgetting his own name, forgetting exactly why he was drowning, his heartbeat calm, the adolescent overcome with a sense of peacefulness that he had never felt before, not once in his life. 

One by one he felt each of his muscles let go, he felt his fisted hands unfold, his grasp going lax, he felt his attachments evade him. The boy's sense of individualism flitted from his brain, his figurative soul becoming one with the darkness in which he was encased, disappearing, his thoughts detaching and scattering away like the air leaving his lungs, floating in translucent little bubbles from his lips and venturing to the water's surface, miles above his head, his insides filling with brine as the duality of his mind and body forsook him, breaking apart. 

But something was grappling at him, something faint and indistinct at first, wrapping around his ribcage in a whisper and wrenching him upwards, threatening to drag him from the salvation of descent, hooks catching in his skin, the gentle tug increasing in it's velocity, becoming inexorable, forcing him into inevitable compliance, unfaltering and strong like the undeniable pull of gravity. 

'Isak...' 

The boy heard as he tried to thrash free from the iron claws that entrapped him, the word meaning nothing to his ailing mind, the tissue of his brain waterlogged, the voice, spoken low and velvet smooth, deep and grounding, warm against the cold of the ocean, beckoning him. 

'Isak...' 

The hold on the adolescent suddenly tautened, what had only seconds earlier felt like metal entrapments morphing into careful, strong arms, inexplicable heat pooling around the boy as he was held, pulled from the depths of the deep blue sea, an unfathomable fire beginning to lick at his mind, spreading through his chest and settling at his throat, his neck. 

_Burning._

_The boy's neck was burning._

And suddenly the blackness around him was breaking, collapsing in on itself, the adolescent tumbling out of it's vacant embrace, falling from the watery confines like a goldfish liberated from a tank, the glass shattering, light pouring in, bright and yellow, the gentle glow too intense for the boy's straining retinas, piercing. 

And with the light, came everything else. 

His memories, his breath, his life, his name. 

_Even._

Even, who was presently clutching onto the vaguely conscious boy with fervid hands, pressing the adolescent with frantic aggression to his warm chest, shifting and rocking the human at a fretful yet tender pace, attempting to comfort, attempting to soothe. 

The vampire's face was only inches away, the proximity allowing Isak to see the young man properly, right in front of him, appearing like a dream, like a nightmare, so unbelievably close for the first time in months. 

Despite the suffocating pain, despite the throbbing of the wound at his throat and the vague realisation that something sharp and stinging had been jabbed into his right arm, Isak was filled with an odd sense of bliss, woozy from the sight of his lover, the older male looking utterly monstrous; his face gaunt and ghostly, bright blue eyes dark and tortured, streaming with pink tears and heavy with purplish circles, blood smeared across his perfect, plush lips, the deep crimson stained in streaks down his neck and clavicle, his blonde hair matted and falling in strings over his forehead and his entire form shuddering and agitated and sickly. 

But even like that, unkempt and savage and veiled in the boy's blood, the vampire looked mind-numbingly beautiful to the teenager; resoundingly pure, angelic, godly. It was almost as if the young, nightmarish man wore a halo, it was almost as if he was ringed with gold. 

'Isak...' Even coughed out once more, broken voice painted with relief now as the human's green eyes fluttered up to gaze at him, bleary and wet and filled with stars. 

Isak let out a small whimper of strangled contentment as a loving but shaky hand came down to imbed in his hair, a careful thumb stroking his jaw. 

_Even._

_His angel._

Returning entirely to his senses under the soft, electric touch, the boy's blood began to pump afresh, the teenager's heart twisting, becoming fractured within him. 

Isak did not know why his body felt like lead, he did not know if the rampant, acrid pain that pulsated through him would ever commence and he did not know where in the world he was, barely able to look around him, barely able to tear his eyes from the only thing that mattered; from Even. 

Nothing was of importance, not his breathing, not his pain, not a single thing. Nothing except the cradling embrace of his lover. 

Isak could have been anywhere in the world, hanging in purgatory or thrown into the depths of hell, but it wasn't of any consequence. 

He was with Even; he was at home. 

No, not home, something beyond that, something more. 

_Heaven,_ that's what it felt like, the overwhelming, almost religious experience that rose within his figurative heart. 

The human had ascended to heaven, right there and then, finding divinity under his lover's fingers, salvation in his vampire's arms. 

'Isak...' Even sobbed, voice gravely and strained, bloodied tears melting down his face like wax dripping from a candlestick, thick and unwavering. 

'Oh th-thank g-god...' He wretched breathlessly as he pulled the boy's face closer to him, the human seated in his lap, Even holding him like a small child as he ducked to kiss Isak's cold face, his lips feeling indescribably hot to the chilled mortal, brushing tenderly to both of his cheeks, his nose, his eyes, burning holes into his withered skin. 

The older boy sobbed between kisses, his tears falling onto Isak's cheekbones and running down his neck, alongside his own. 

'My love...' Even cried, blood sheathed hands knotting in Isak's golden hair, pulling the boy's mouth to his, gentle and slow, bridled with aching. 

The adolescent's entire form tingled at the contact, veins quivering, the kiss shocking his senses, chaste and loving and breathing new life into his weak and battered lungs. 

'Lille Sol...' The taller boy cooed, still weeping as he pulled back only an inch, sparkling eyes boring into Isak, the vampire's expression one of unadulterated agony. 'I-I'm s-so sorry...' 

_It was fine._

_Everything was fine._

'Even...' Isak hummed weakly, lifting a damaged, trembling hand to smooth the lines of distress that had settled in the older boy's beautiful face, wanting to rid him of all sorrow, outside and in. 

But the teenager's injured arm could only reach so far before Even grasped it carefully and pinned it back down gently to the human's lap, Isak realising idly that his limb had been intercepted with a thick, pinching needle, a tube extending from the puncture in the bend of his arm to a clinical bloodbag filled halfway with dark, crimson liquid and hanging from the doorknob beside which he and Even sat, acting as a makeshift intravenous drip. 

'I'm so s-sorry...' Even wheezed out again, cutting through Isak's vague confusion. 'I wasn't... I...' The taller male was shaking, rigid and tense as Isak leant in to press his nose soothingly against the other's, forehead to forehead, nuzzling softly before the older boy closed the distance, kissing him again, parting Isak's lips affectionately, tasting sweet and sad on the human's tongue. 'I'm so so sorry.' He murmured into the boy's mouth, shuddering with tears. 'I wasn't conscious... I wasn't-' 

'I know.' Isak whispered softly, affirmatively, reigniting the passionate kiss, Even's full, chapped lips scraping him, his tongue grazing his, the feeling so unbelievably good, laced with melancholia but sending thrills down the boy's spine all the same. 

'I was killing you...' Even whimpered morosely, pulling back completely now to wrap Isak in his arms and pull him flush against him, holding onto the boy so tight, too tight, like he didn't have plans of ever letting go. 

'I was killing you and you...' He trembled, burying his face in the crook of Isak's bleeding neck which had been wrapped with a bandage fashioned out of torn clothing, the vampire inhaling sharply, grounding himself. 'You told me- you told me that you loved me...' 

Isak wept with him, his free arm winding around the older boy's shoulders, damaged fingers clawing at the fabric of his black coat, hurting and going white at the knuckles. 

'I do, Even...' He cried softly, going pliant in the other male's arms, intoxicated by him and his strong hold and sweet, all-consuming scent. 'I've missed you so much...' He sobbed quietly, face pressed into the warm skin of Even's throat, body quivering. 

'Shhh, baby. I've got you.' The vampire murmured, his register breaking as he rubbed a large, gentle hand over Isak's aching back, turning his head so he could kiss at the teenager's temple, the boy quailing faintly under the tranquillising affection. 

They sat there, tangled like that in silence for a long moment, kissing and touching and just breathing each other in, letting the pain and heartbreak crash in waves around them, safe and sound in each other's arms, Even's tears becoming fewer, the vampire visibly calmed under the human's hands. 

'W-where are we?' Isak asked suddenly, stammering, his tearful eyes beginning to drag across his surroundings as he melted into his lover's hold. 

They were huddled against a wall beside what seemed like the front entrance of an expansive, unfamiliar living room. The space was large, minimalistic in design but denoting sophistication, the walls stark white, tasteful floral castings reminiscent of the Victorian era embellishing the ceiling and framing the obscure, global light fixture that hung stylistically from the high roof; the only source of illumination, the large orb glowing soft; pale and imposing like a full moon. Below sat a vintage tufted sofa, devoid of cushions and upholstered in a deep, midnight blue velvet, a large bookcase standing behind it and lining the entirety of the back wall, the shelving filled excessively with a multitudinous number of DVD's and video tapes, a few stray books shoved in amongst them; biographies and encyclopaedias and what appeared to be thick religious volumes. There was a black fur rug strewn across the white floorboards, the area devoid of any further furnishings with the exception of an obnoxiously large television. 

Isak squinted about, blinking in confusion. 

'We're in my apartment.' Even murmured in wry explanation as the boy took it all in, the older male stroking tenderly at Isak's curls and squeezing him closer. 

'Oh.' The human murmured stupidly, mind fogged by the intensity of the situation. 

_Even had an apartment?_

Isak hadn't thought of this, hadn't thought of the vampire actually living somewhere. The teenager had always seen Even as an element of the night, at one with the shadows, sweeping in with them as they fell and retreating as they receded. 

'I'm so sorry.' Even murmured once again, almost inaudible, sober now, his face plagued with guilt, weary eyes haunted, jaw set. 'I know you forgive me already, Isak, but you shouldn't. You really shouldn't.' He leant down to plant a kiss to the adolescent's nose, now pink and ruddy, colour returning to the human's face as blood refilled his emptied veins. 

When Even spoke again his words were choked, heavy with despondency, flat and full of restraint. 

'I'll never forgive myself.' 

Isak squirmed a little in Even's embrace, shifting in order to lift the arm that wasn't hooked up to the IV, his bruised hand moving to cup limply at the older boy's jaw. 

'It's okay, you weren't yourself, Evy.' The human murmured carefully, trying to pacify the other, caressing his cheek with an unsteady thumb. 'I'm okay.' 

Even turned his face to fill Isak's palm, placing his hand over the teenager's fingers and pressing his lips to the blotchy, injured skin. 

'Look at your hands.' The vampire whispered raggedly, breathing warmth onto the cold digits, stroking the boy's knuckles. 'I'm a fucking monster.' 'No you aren't.' Isak argued faintly, heart sinking. 'You didn't mean it.' 

But Even's face remained dejected, tears beginning to pool once again in his pale eyes, glistening and tinted red. 

'I never wanted any of this.' He whispered solemnly. 'I'm so sorry, I never wanted to-' 

'Even-' Isak pleaded, the boy's breathing becoming shallow as he realized how familiar the vampire's words sounded. 

_Even was spiraling._

'Look at what I've done to you-' The older boy went on, fingers curling into Isak's, clutching him gently. 'You almost died in my arms... I've hurt you-' 

And then it occurred to Isak. 

Nothing he had done had made any difference. He had lost Even, almost irretrievably, he had lost him and mourned him and fought for him. He had finally found him, the older boy safe and secure in his hold, breathing against him, strong and definitive but slipping away. 

It was there in the vampire's face, in the quivering of his lips and tear-stained cheeks and haunted stare. 

_Even Bech Naesheim didn't have any plans of staying._

Isak felt himself become inscrutably hit with the nausea of vertigo. 

'You're going to leave me again.' The adolescent wheezed out abruptly, the world beginning to spin in a blur around him, bitter tears stinging his eyes. 'Aren't you?' 

Even just hushed him, his face paling. 

'Shhhh, Isak.' He whispered, petting the boy's golden locks and swatting a tear from the human's flushed cheek. 'Quiet now.' he ordered benevolently. 'You need to rest.' 

'Aren't you?' Isak repeated, resisting, becoming stringent, stiffening under the vampire's belittling ministrations, the boy speaking sharply through gritted teeth. 

'Isak. Please.' Even's voice was firm, the older male trying to quiet the human, trying to shut him up. 

Isak felt a burning hysteria start to rise in his chest, a strange fury beginning to broil within him. 

'No.' Isak shot back with acid, lifting as much as he could in Even's iron grasp in order to look the vampire dead in the eyes, the older boy flinching back in astonishment. 

The adolescent was sick of this, sick and tired of being shut up, sick and tired of being coddled and treated like a child, treated like he had no ability to think for himself. He had naively assumed the entire time that Even knew what he was doing- that the older male knew better, that he was rightfully in charge. 

But that, Isak had come to realise, couldn't be further from the truth. 

The truth was that every single decision the vampire had made thus far had been resoundingly destructive, illogical and misguided. 

He had broken the teenager's heart over and over, shattered him both physically and emotionally and nearly killed the both of them in the process. 

Isak was not going to let himself be quietened any more. 

He would not be silenced. 

'Don't wait.' The adolescent spat harshly, reinvigorated with a sense of power, despite his frail bodily state, green eyes burning with rage, anger causing the teenager to lose all composure. 

'If you're going to leave, leave now.' He shoved at Even, trying to escape the cage of his tightening embrace, beginning to sob as he scrambled uselessly for freedom. 

_It wasn't fair._

_None of it was fair._

'Shhh.' The vampire hushed him again, pulling the struggling boy firmly to his torso and kissing the crown of his head. 

Isak retaliated with a grunt, elbowing him in the ribs as hard as he could. He knew Even was a vampire and it wouldn't hurt at all, but that wasn't the point. The human would sooner die than ever _actually_ harm Even, even if it were possible. He was just furious, wanting to communicate his refusal to comply, wanting to show the other how adamantly he refused to submit to the vast injustice. 

The vampire couldn't do that, touch him and kiss him and pet him so sweetly and then _leave._

'Don't look after me just so you can fuck off afterwards!' He sobbed, pushing against the vampire's lock-hold, trying to protect his own mind and heart, his afflicted limbs aching, the needle in his arm pinching and twisting into him as he thrashed violently, the pain causing him to wail. 

'Enough!' Isak screeched through betraying tears, shaking now, trembling with anger and looking at Even with unbridled resentment, the cold, angry glare evidentially causing the other to stall. 

The vampire slumped against the wall, seemingly paralysed, blue eyes wide, stunned, looking at the human with an exasperated, tortured expression, as if the boy had just shot him in the chest, his arms falling limply to his side in what appeared to be shock. 

'Unhook me from this shit...' Isak cried, his arm tangled in the tube of the IV, taking advantage of Even's perceivable inability to move and wrenching the needle out of himself by his own accord, sucking in a sharp breath and scuttling unsteadily to his feet, the human's entire form alight with savage delirium as he pulled the implement roughly from his own flesh. 

The sight of thick, crimson blood splaying from the disengaged surgical tube and splattering in red, definite streams across the stark, paper-white wall behind them was enough to snap Even out of his catatonic state, the vampire omitting an enraged growl as he lunged for the teenager. 

'Fuck!' Even grunted, gripping the boy and dragging him to the ground, blood pulsing out of the laceration in Isak's arm and staining the floorboards beneath him. 'What the fuck, Isak?!' 

'Fuck you...' The boy whined, thrashing like a wild animal as Even forced himself over the smaller male to hold him in place, one large, firm hand pushed flat against the mortal's chest, the other grasping the needle. 

Isak's arms fell back, the boy whimpering as he realised that fighting was useless, the vampire's body softening, shoulders dropping at the teenager's pained noise. 

'Be still.' Even ordered gently, looking down at Isak with a wistful expression, his oceanic eyes tender and understanding as he moved to reinsert the needle with medical precision into the boy's bloodied limb. 

It stung, Isak unable to stop himself from wheezing as it pierced through his vein, coughing back a few tears. 

Even hummed sympathetically, moving his hand from the adolescent's chest to smooth back his sweat-dampened fringe, leaning down to kiss the boy's forehead, Isak's eyelashes fluttering, heart twanging. 

'It's okay.' Even whispered soothingly into his hairline. 'I know you're upset but you just need to stay put for the transfusion.' 

The teenager scoffed belligerently. 

_Upset_ was an understatement. 

Even went on, his register kind but authoritative. 

'Without the transfusion you might die, Isak.' His face went grave, voice dropping. 'I'm not going to let that happen.' He pulled back slightly to look at the boy, his liquid eyes tormented, pleading. 'Please cooperate.' He begged. 'Please don't make me force you.' 

Isak sniffled, body plagued with exhaustion, his head whirling as he felt his muscles unclench, going slack in submission. 

'Can you be still?' Even asked carefully, shifting some of his weight from the shivering human. 

'Y-yes.' Isak stammered in a small voice, crying harder now, defeated. 

Isak let his body go limp as Even lifted himself off of him, hesitantly kneeling to take the human back in his arms and pulling him onto his lap, the embrace looser this time, void of intimacy, the vampire becoming less tactile as if to respect Isak's apparent need for distance. 

Except Isak didn't need distance. What he needed was Even to hold him like he meant it, he needed Even to hold him like he was going to stay. 

Isak continued to wail quietly, shuddering at the impossibility of it all. 

'Please don't cry.' Even pleaded coarsely, the immortal refraining from touching the boy further, his face twisting in agony. 'I hate it when you cry.' 

Isak didn't comply, his tears coming out heavier as if his body itself was trying to prove a point. 

'W-where did you get the blood from?' The boy asked absently, gesturing to the blood bag, not at all interested but trying to distract himself from the bittersweet aching in the core of his chest. 

Even blinked, taken a back by the arbitrary nature of the question. 

'I... Um.. I bribed a worker at a blood donor...' He explained shakily. 

Isak frowned, brows knitting in confusion. 

'I wanted to stop killing people, when we first met...' 

The teenager nearly laughed in his face. 

'Well that plan fucking fell through, didn't it?' He muttered blackly, tears streaming down his reddened, puffy cheeks. 

'Yes.' Even murmured sullenly. 'It did.' 

Isak hated this. He hated how cold he was being with Even and how remote the vampire was being with him. It was hard to think that only moments earlier the two had been holding and kissing each other like doing so was their sole reason for living. 

Isak still wanted to kiss Even, he probably always would. 

That fact hurt more than anything else. 

'Can you please put me down?' Isak asked quietly, strained, not able to exist within Even's empty embrace for a moment longer. 

'Your body temperature has dropped, Isak.' The vampire replied mechanically. 'I need to keep you warm.' 

It was almost funny, Isak thought wryly, because as of that moment, wrapped in the older boy's arms, the human couldn't have felt colder. 

'I don't want you to touch me.' Isak breathed out miserably, turning his eyes from the other in dejection. 

It was a complete lie. Isak always wanted to be touched by Even. He just couldn't stand the feeling of the other boy slipping away in his hands, seeping like sand through his fingers, scattering to nothing with the wind. He couldn't stand the vampire's touch because it reminded him of the older boy's profound impermanence. He couldn't stand the affection because it made him miss the other already. 

Even swallowed audibly, jaw clenching, seeming as if he was trying to stifle a sob. 

'You have every reason to hate me.' He murmured shamefully. 'But for now you need to be reasonable, you've lost a lot of blood.' 

'I don't hate you.' Isak shot back, lifting himself with difficulty to gaze at Even, regenerated with purpose. 'And I've been reasonable.' He said curtly. ' _You're_ the one who's unreasonable.' His eyes watered as he spoke, the teenager becoming increasingly frustrated. 

'What's with- what's with all the mind-fucking and the goddamn romantic texts?' The boy asked in exasperation, coming face to face with Even, jostling himself towards the other in order to add confrontational emphasis, the vampire holding onto the human's waist as he wobbled slightly from the dizziness that the sudden movement caused him. 'If you're gonna leave, stay the fuck away...' Isak wheezed out, gripping onto Even's shoulder for support as he began to cough slightly on his words, not at first realising how scratchy and dehydrated his throat felt. 'D-don't play with my heart.' He gasped out, voice cracking, shaky. 

'Please.' Even said softly, rubbing tender circles into Isak's spine, encouraging his breaths. 'Shhh. You're exerting yourself.' 

'No, I'm not!' The boy countered stubbornly, becoming angered again at having been dismissed. 'Jesus, I really am stupid, thinking this whole time that you actually care about me when-' 

For the first time during the entire hour or so that they'd been in that room, Isak saw Even's face flicker with rage. 

'Isak, that's-' 

But Isak cut him off, drinking in the other boy's vehemence, soaking it up like a sponge. 

'Maybe Sonja was right.' Isak said cruelly, inexplicably overcome with the desire to infuriate Even further, to make him as angry and frustrated as the adolescent was himself. 'Maybe you don't have any idea what you're fucking thinking.' 

Even's eyes blazed, the boy letting out a yelp as he was suddenly seized at the jaw, the vampire almost snarling. 

'Isak...' He said through clenched teeth, fingers gripping the cleft at Isak's chin. 

The boy was scared, of course he was. However, he was also delirious from both his physical and emotional devastation, so he couldn't bring himself to really care what happened to him. 

He just wanted to make Even feel something, something deep and tangible and burning. Something to make him rethink his _stupid_ decisions, something to make him stay. 

Isak took in a large breath and lifted his eyes, meeting the vampire's cold gaze with unsurpassable malice. 

'What are you going to do?' The human jeered bitterly. 'Kill me? Go ahead. You want to, don't you?' 

Even grimaced at this, his face contorting in pain, the older boy seeming irreparably wounded at the teenager's accusation. 

'Of course I don't.' He said weakly, pink tears in his baby blue irises. 

'What?' Isak snapped. 'Of course you do, Even. You want to kill me like you want to kill everyone because you really _are_ a fucking monster, cold-blooded and empty inside and _incapable of love_.' The words were all bullshit, complete and utter nonsense, pouring from his mouth and tearing into the vampire in front of him one syllable at a time. 'That's what you want me to believe, right? That's what you've been trying to tell me-' 

The hold on Isak's face tightened, the teenager thinking for a moment that his jaw might snap under the pressure, mewling slightly before the vampire's hand softened, the older male bringing the teenager's face to his so that their noses were touching, so close that his breath was on the human's lips. 

'L-let me go.' Isak wailed quietly, frightened by the intensity of the other's eyes. 

'No. Listen to me.' Even said, low and steady and finite. 'I might be a fucking monster, I might be insane and I might not always be sure of who I am or what I'm doing, but there is one thing I know for certain.' He skimmed his nose against the boy's, inhaling sharply, eyes falling to a close as his voice dropped to a shaky whisper. 'I _am_ capable of love.' He wavered, choking back a tear. 'I _love_ you, Isak Valtersen.' 

And just like that, the teenager turned as soft as butter in Even's hand, liquifying, all harshness slapped clean out of him, all anger leaving his body like an exorcized demon, his heart beating so hard he could feel it in his throat, butterflies flitting to life within his stomach, fluttering against his insides and threatening to find refuge through his esophagus. 

'Even...' He hummed softly, green eyes going hazy as he peered up at the vampire that owned him, mind and body and soul. 

'You think I don't want to stay with you?' Even asked softly, moving his hands to either side of the boy's face, fingers tangling in the adolescent's soft curls, his speech tender, hushed against the chaos of the teenager's shallow breathing and shuddering heartbeat. 

'Heaven, Isak, is a universe in which you fall asleep every night, naked in my arms. Heaven, is the sight of your face when I'm inside your perfect body, heaven is watching you try to understand art-house films, laying beside you in your room, heaven is playing video games with you, thrashing you at FIFA.' 

He caressed Isak's tear-slicked cheeks, drawing a sweet, closed-lipped smile from the human, the teenager unable to take in oxygen, pressure eroding his chest and his lungs and his heart, his body feeling too small for it all, too small for the undeniable affection, too small for the soul-shattering love he felt for the vampire boy. 

Even pressed their foreheads together, face solemn, eyes burning blue like the hottest part of a flame, smoldering and strong. 

'I've never believed in God but when I look at you I think maybe he must be out there, for only a divine entity from above could possess the artistry required to create such incomparable beauty, such an exquisite soul...' He paused, leaning in to meet Isak's lips with his own, the teenager reciprocating, having been reduced to nothing, weeping as their mouth's crashed together, body aching, sparks flying. 

'I love you, my angel.' The vampire whispered into the kiss, quivering at the electricity that surged between them, high voltage, their brains short-circuiting. 'Even if we can't be together.' 

'Even.' Isak murmured, barely audible, gasping in air and sinking back into the older boy for another kiss, needy and wet, lips catching, teeth hitting, the teenager trembling as they crumbled into each other. 

'You're everything to me.' Even hummed softly as he drew back, swaying them slightly in the gloom. 'Everything.' 

'We _can_ be together, Evy.' The teenager breathed gently, lifting a purplish finger to catch one of the vampire's bloody tears. 'We can, why can't you see that?' 

The older boy shook his head. 

'We can't. I'm not good, Isak, not like you. I've sinned. I don't deserve Heaven.' 

Isak stalled, soft hands grasping the sides of Even's neck, the teenager's voice coming out careful now, passive yet still possessing it's argumentative tone. 

'And you think I deserve hell?' The human asked challengingly. 'Because that's what you'll put me through by leaving.' 

'Maybe it'll be hard at first, but you'll move on.' Even retorted wearily, face laced with subdued sorrow. 'Humans have that ability, they're growing and changing and dying.' He gulped. 'You'll forget, you'll meet a nice boy and he'll give you everything that I can't-' 

'I could _never_ forget you.' Isak said resolutely, cutting him off, eyes prickling with moisture. 'I could _never_ love anyone ever again, not properly, anyway. No one is like you, Even. You've ruined me for everyone else.' 

The vampire frowned. 

'No I haven't.' He shot back miserably. 'There are plenty of people, billions. You've never even been in love with anyone else, how can you know that for sure?' 

'I just know.' Isak said simply, shrugging his shoulders as the vampire huffed at him in exasperation. 

It was true. If Isak knew anything at all it was that he loved Even, he loved him and could never imagine loving another. Everyone paled in comparison. Everyone seemed dull and lightless and monotone in contrast with the fluorescent-lit vampire, with his sunshine smile and poetic words and wild, chameleon soul. 

'This can't happen, Isak.' Even muttered ruefully, cutting through the boy's internal musings. 'You can't be happy with me. You can't be mine.' 

'But I _am_ yours.' The teenager said in a sob, holding onto his vampire's jaw, emerald eyes determined, desperate. 'I belong to you, Even, only you. And i-if you really cared about my happiness then you would just fucking see that and accept it.' 

'But I'll only hurt you if I stay, I'm destroying your life-' 

'Even.' Isak said firmly, moving his hands to grasp onto the other's gaunt face, holding him in place and speaking slow, wanting him to take in every word. 'Before I met you I did drugs all the time and cried myself to sleep every single night.' He looked at his knees, reflecting on that time, on the constant high and vast, unending emptiness. 'I didn't have a _life_.' He admitted carefully, register steady, tentative. 'I was so fucking lost in my lies that I didn't even feel like a person. I was fake, I was fucking numb.' The boy's face went indescribably soft. ' _You_ changed that, Even. _You_ showed me love, _you_ saved me, you made me feel _real_. You helped me accept the truth, y-you set me free, you made me comfortable with who I am.' The boy gulped, unable to look the vampire in the eyes, scared of the other boy's piercing blue irises, frightened of what he might find there. 'In all honesty-' He continued lowly. '-if it wasn't for you, I would probably be somewhere in the back of a club right now, denying my homosexuality and overdosing off fucking pills, because that's where I was headed.' 

'You're right, Isak.' Even said curtly, the teenager lifting his gaze to find that the vampire's eyes hadn't calmed, his expression doubly tormented. 'You aren't in the back of a club doing drugs. Instead, you're getting a blood transfusion because I _almost killed you_.' 

'But you didn't!' Isak exclaimed, his grip on the vampire's face slipping as Even cried out silent tears. 'Why can't you see? This isn't one of your tragedies, Even! This isn't Romeo and Juliet. I didn't die. I'm alive and you're never gonna starve yourself like that again and we can be _happy_ , we can be togeth-' 

But Even was hearing none of it. 

'Please, just lie back, you're getting really pale.' The vampire said fretfully, colour leaving the human's face in his state of excited agitation. 'I'm worried about you... Please...' 

'No!' Isak shouted, protesting slightly as Even forced the boy's head into his chest, making his posture involuntarily relax. 

'Shut up and listen to me.' The teenager ordered sharply, smacking away Even's hands and jolting back up to look at him. 'You've given me happiness, Even.' He said fiercely, enunciating each word like he was trying to communicate to a foreigner. 'And yes, you've hurt me, but that's what human beings do, we hurt each other. We are all flawed, you know? We fail the people we love most and we can't help it.' 

Even just stared at him, doe-eyed, reddened mouth ajar, watching Isak like a child being taught the alphabet, vaguely astounded, vaguely dazed, absorbing everything the human was saying, frowning slightly in contemplation. 

'But everything's been worth it, Evy, it's all been fucking worth it because of the...' He paused, trying to find the right word, trying to explain the sensation properly. '...because of the _joy_ you've brought me.' The boy smiled at the vampire, wide and toothy, Even unable to stop himself from smiling back, as minute as the facial expression was. 

'Joy...' Isak said softly, revelling in the other boy's beautiful smile. ' _Real_ joy, well, that's the reason we're all here. Nothing means shit, not money, not religion, not success, n-not anything. The only thing that has any fucking worth is happiness - a-and love.' 

Even opened his mouth to say something, frowning for a moment before his voice came out as a soft whisper, breathless and strained. 

'Isak...' 

'No!' Isak protested ardently, tapping the older boy's cheek in order to quiet him. 'Let me finish! I might be a human and you might be a vampire but we both still hurt and feel. We both still need love. And we've found it, we've found something so fucking rare. So why deny it? Why take that away from me and from yourself? Your not being selfless, if anything you're being fucking selfish, you're just feeding your own feelings of inadequacy.' 

Isak hadn't realised but he was sitting entirely upright now, clutching both of Even's shoulder's and ranting at him with maniacal passion. 

'You need to lie back.' Even said firmly with what sounded like the whisper of a chuckle. 'Your lips are going purple, baby.' 

'No! I don't give a fuck about my lips!' Isak yelled at him in protest. 'Stop shutting me up and treating me like I'm stupid! I know you think I am, but I'm not, I'm not stu-' 

Even was firm then, lifting a hand to hold the side of Isak's face, pulling gently at his hair in order to silence him. 

'I know that, Isak.' He murmured wholeheartedly, face saddened, eyes solemn. 'You're not stupid at all. I'm sorry I ever said you were, it was a complete lie.' He shifted closer to the human, kissing softly at the space between his eyes, sighing into the skin. 'You are the strongest, most intelligent person I've ever met. And you're right... You're right about everything.' 

Isak blinked, letting Even pull the boy back into a cradle, happy to submit to him, happy to be _his_. 

'Does that mean you'll stay?' He whispered hopefully, humming in contentment as the vampire's hand's brushed his cheek and mussed his hair. 

'I just want you to be happy...' Even said quietly, curling a finger around Isak's ear, touching every part of the boy's exposed skin with warm, feather-soft caresses. 

'Then stay.' Isak murmured, sinking into the vampire's arms once more, eyes squeezing shut. 'Please, that will make me happy.' He begged drowsily, the toil of everything beginning to weigh him down. 'Please.' 

'I will.' Was all the vampire said, the words plain and bold and definitive. 

'A-are you just lying to calm me down?' Isak muttered abstractedly as he began to drift away, yawning sleepily into Even's coat. 

'I'm not. I won't ever lie to you again. As long as you want me, Isak, I'll be here. I'll stay.' 

'Promise?' Isak whispered hazily, clutching the vampire's hand in his own, their fingers intertwining. 

'I promise.' 

*** 

Isak awoke again to the vampire placing him gently on the velvet sofa, shifting the boy carefully to rid him of his sweaty, bloody clothes. 

The teenager whined, shivering as cold air caused goosebumps to rise on his exposed skin, his hair standing on end as Even peeled off his garments right down to his underwear. 

'E-Even.' Isak whimpered in a drowsy protest as he felt his boxers slide down, the vampire dragging them gently from his legs and wrenching them off of him. 

'Shh, angel.' Even cooed as he bent to take a hold of the naked boy, lifting him up effortlessly and carrying him like a bride, his own chest void of clothing, Isak draping a limp arm around the vampire's bare shoulders, pressing his face into Even's clavicle. 

'You're covered in blood.' The older boy murmured soothingly. 'I'm only going to wash you.' 

'Mm'kay.' Isak mumbled, still half asleep, nuzzling at Even's chest as he was carried off into another room of the apartment. 

The teenager was vaguely amazed at how Even could support the boy completely in only one arm as he started the shower with the other, the tiled space large and pure white and closed off by tall glass walls that had already become fogged by thick plumes of steam. 

The vampire lowered Isak onto his feet to gain better access to the human's body, holding him tight around the waist as he pulled the adolescent underneath the heavy stream, the teenager humming softy as the pressure of warm, surging water cascaded over his aching muscles and filthied, crimson-stained skin. 

'Is it too hot?' Even asked worriedly, Isak blinking up at him, the older boy glistening wet, his thick eyelashes clumped together with droplets of water and his smooth, bare torso shimmering with moisture, strong and pale and inviting. 

'No.' The other murmured shyly. 

Even was completely undressed and the teenager was having a difficult time trying to avert his eyes. 

If Isak wasn't so out of it, drunk on delirium and plagued with exhaustion, the human would have been insatiably turned on, begging and pleading with the other to take him right there and then. 

But instead, he just blushed, in awe at his lover's perfection, letting the older male hold him close and lather him in soap, each touch soft and innocent and nursing, the boy leaning into the vampire as he ran large soapy fingers through the teenager's matted, bloodied hair, massaging his scalp gently and whispering sweet nothing's through the heavy downpour of the shower. 

Isak hugged himself to the vampire's naked torso, shuddering into his chest and watching idly as the dirtied, red-tinged water that came off their bodies trailed across the white floor and circled the shower's drain, both boys rinsed clean of the blood and filth and tears, the hurt and pain seeming to be gone forever, sucked up and exiled from them for all eternity. 

It almost felt like a baptism to Isak, standing there under the heavy water, stripped bare and pressed, chest to chest with the boy he loved. 

He tilted his head upwards to look the vampire in the eyes as he scrubbed softly at the teenager's back, rubbing lotion soothingly into the aching muscles and skin. 

'You're my favourite person in the world.' Isak muttered drunkly, standing weakly on his toes to give Even a small, wet kiss. 

Even smiled warmly, obliging the embrace but frowning down at the drowsy human. 

'I'm not a person.' He said softly, flicking a few of Isak's wet curls out of his eyes. 

'Yes you are.' Isak retorted almost angrily, kissing the taller boy's chest, right over his un-beating heart. 'You're my person.' 

Even chuckled, bending down to peck the top of Isak's head, squeezing Isak just a little too tightly in response. 

*** 

The vampire placed the trembling, dripping-wet boy onto the soft comforters of his large bad, Isak wrapped in a thick black towel, Even giving his damp curls a quick kiss before moving to the tall cupboards and rifling through them, trying to find something comfortable for Isak to wear. 

Even's bedroom was dark, painted black, the ceiling a juxtaposing white, opaque curtains shrouding the solitary window and nondescript mahogany nightstands sitting on either side of the bed, each boasting a strange little Art Deco lamp and a multitude of scattered notebooks, stacked high and bound in leather. Another large television hung on the wall adjacent to the vast mattress, below which sat an 18th century coffee table; a sleek black record player along with a few stray vinyls lacing it's surface, not much else gracing the space, everything in the vampire's house seeming to mimic the night; everything a varying shade of carbon black. 

The teenager's bite wounds had began to sting from the pressure of the water, most of the bleeding having stopped despite the dull, consuming pain that now permeated his entire body. He squirmed in the sheets, sniveling only a little, letting the smell of Even's duvet bring him subdued comfort. 

Even sat at the blue velvet headboard of the bed before gently lifting Isak onto him, taking a hold of the fluffy bath towel to dry the boy off, the soft, warm fabric soothing his skin, the vampire drying the teenager's hair with gentle affection, planting kisses on Isak's bare shoulders as he carefully rubbed the boy's throbbing scalp. 

When the older male was satisfied, he shifted Isak slightly in order pull a large, black cable-knit sweater over the boy's head, helping him into a fresh pair of black boxers and guiding the adolescent gently into the soft black covers, letting out a sudden gasp and stalling as his eyes darted over the teenager's unprotected wounds, face going grim. 

'Shit.' He whispered, leaning close to inspect the bite marks. 'I don't have any proper bandages.' 

Isak gulped, clinging to Even as he began to edge away. 

'S'okay.' He murmured softly, not wanting to be parted from the other for even a minute. 

'No it isn't, your wounds need to be covered.' The vampire said firmly, petting Isak's cheek. 'Wait here for one second, I'm going to go break into the convenience store next door.' 

And with that, almost in a blur, Even was torn from the human's grasp and out of the window. 

Isak huffed sulkily. 

_Vampires._

The older boy had not been exaggerating when he said he would only take a second because before Isak knew it, Even was back, holding what looked like a plethora of medical supplies in both of his large hands and dropping them onto the bed, sorting through them almost frantically before finding what he needed with a self-approving smirk and moving back to Isak, pulling the boy's head onto his lap and turning the teenager to the side, exposing his throat and beginning to treat the angry, irritated wound. 

'S-stings.' Isak whimpered quietly as the vampire dabbed disinfectant over the sensitive, marred flesh. 

Even wove a reassuring hand through Isak's wet hair, thumbing lovingly at the boy's eyebrow. 

'I know, baby.' He murmured softly. 'I know.' 

*** 

Isak lay flat against Even's chest, the two curled together in bed, the boy bundled in blankets, the vampire evidently overestimating the human's sensitivity to cold and shrouding the teenager an unnecessary amount of coverings, the adolescent beginning to sweat, becoming slightly feverish due to the immense heat but unable to find it within himself to complain. 

How could he? Everything was just so soft and comforting and smelt like Even. 

'How are you feeling?' The vampire whispered as Isak's eyes fluttered open, the boy having woken from a momentary nap. 

'A little overheated.' Isak wheezed out sheepishly. 'But apart from that, I feel amazing.' 

Even let out a faint laugh, pulling back a few of the layered blankets and snuggling the boy even closer. 

'That's good, sweetheart.' He murmured benignly, sitting up against the bed-head and pulling the teenager with him, settling the human down on his lap. 

'Have some water.' He ordered softly, picking up a glass from the dresser and pressing it to the adolescent's lips. 

Isak was unable to do anything but open his mouth against the cold glass and allow for water to be poured onto his dry tongue, the boy gulping down the fluid with more urgency then he himself had anticipated. 

'You must be dehydrated.' Even commented in careful observation, refusing to let up until the boy drank every last drop. 'I'm sorry that didn't think about that. It's been so long since I've had to keep up with human necessities.' 

Isak just flushed, offering the vampire an embarrassed little smile. 

'Are you hungry?' Even asked abruptly. 'You must be. I didn't have anything for you but there's a Chinese take out down the street, so I got some stuff.' 

Even gestured to the side of the bed to which a small table had been dragged, the surface of it piled with an overwhelming mass of noodle boxes and take-away containers, the smell of oil and oriental spices hitting Isak's nostrils, his stomach rumbling in hunger. 

'That's a lot of Chinese food.' He stated flatly, trying to decipher which box to approach first. 

'Yeah...' Even muttered, nodding his head in agreement. 'I didn't know what you'd like so I just ordered everything.' He shot the human a wide, heart-breaking smile. 'Film?' 

Isak blinked in confusion, dazzled by the way the vampire's eyes seemed to glitter when he grinned. 

'What?' The boy muttered apprehensively. 

'Never mind.' Even replied with a shrug, ruffling Isak's hair. 'Do you like soup?' 

'Yeah, I guess.' Isak murmured shakily, figuring that soup would probably go down the easiest at this point. 

The boy squirmed slightly as Even picked up one of the polystyrene cups, opening it and ducking to smell it's contents, the vampire grimacing and gagging slightly in repulsion. 

'Eugh.' He groaned. ' _Human food._ ' 

'W-what are you doing.' Isak asked with a frown as Even picked up one of the many plastic spoons that littered the table, scooping up some of the soup and bringing it to his lips to blow on it slightly, eliminating steam before extending the utensil to Isak, holding it under his nose. 

'You can't feed yourself.' Even said matter-of-factly. 'Your hands are injured.' 

Isak shook his head in mortification. 

'They're not that bad.' He whined. 

And it was true. His hands weren't _that_ bad. Sure they were swollen and shaky and peppered with bruises, but the teenager could still hold a god damned spoon. 

'Seriously, Even-' 

But the vampire would hear none of the boy's complaints, giving Isak a stern and governing look and shoving the utensil to his lips. 

'Eat.' He ordered rigidly, blue eyes assertive. 

So Isak slumped against the older boy, letting himself get fed like a baby but continuing to grumble bitterly in between mouthfuls. 

The soup was of the pleasant, chicken-noodle kind, the teenager gradually becoming revitalized as he swallowed it down, Even forcing him to take sips of water as he ate. 

'This is humiliating.' Isak muttered as Even once again brought the spoon to the teenager's mouth, prompting him to open up. 

Even's brow knotted, full lips becoming pursed in frustration. 

'I did this to you, Isak.' He cooed softly, setting down the cup and taking a careful hold of the boy's battered hand, kissing every finger. 'I hurt you.' He said quietly, face full of shame. 'Let me take care of you, baby, let me make it better.' 

*** 

'Why would you actually _take_ the cat!?' Even exclaimed with a resounding laugh, the sound making Isak's figurative heart quiver. 

The older male was sitting against the head board of the bed, cross legged with Isak's head rested carefully in his lap, the vampire twirling the teenager's air-dried curls in his fingers as he listened to the boy, Isak recounting how he and Magnus had come to uncover Even's whereabouts. 

'I didn't want it.' Isak reflected bitterly, speaking of the heirloom. 'I was practically goaded. You should have seen Magnus, he was so excited, I couldn't say no.' The adolescent sighed. 'That guy has an unhealthy obsession with cats. I worry about Copernicus, I really do.' 

Even chuckled again, Isak thinking idly that there was no other sound that he ever wanted to hear. 

'Your friend sounds like an awesome guy.' The vampire said with another laugh, peering down at the teenager with adoring eyes. 

'He's an idiot.' Isak muttered flatly, almost out of habit, the boy beaming back up at the other, holding onto the large hand that had moved to grasp his. 

Even wasn't wrong. Magnus, despite his distinct and incurable stupidity, _was_ a pretty incredible person. This, of course, wasn't something that Isak would ever readily admit, even if it was the truth. 

'Anyway.' The human went on, clearing his throat in order to continue his story. 'Then we broke into your childhood home...' 

Even stalled for a moment before nodding, eyes narrowing, as if in contemplation. 

'Yes.' He murmured softly. 'I heard that.' 

_What?_

Isak frowned, beginning to sit up, turning to the vampire with speculative eyes. 

'Wha-' 

Even took the boy into his arms, gently forcing him to lay down against the pillows, pulling a single blanket over him and laying beside the other, the vampire cocking his head slightly as he examined the bewildered expression on the teenager's face, his thumb moving to smooth the lines of confusion that had become imbedded in Isak's forehead. 

'I was in the bunker the entire time.' Even explained nonchalantly, as if it was obvious. 'I heard your voice above me. I thought I was hallucinating.' 

For whatever reason, Isak was stunned by this revelation, sinking into the warmth of the bed and gazing up at his lover with wide eyes. 

'Y-you heard me?' He asked in astonishment. 

'Yes.' Even said carefully, carding his hand through the golden locks around the adolescent's face. 'It was just before I slipped away completely.' His voice fell, becoming somber. 'That's why I texted you. Even though I was out of it, I wanted you to know that you'd always be loved-' 

Isak cut off his words, winding his aching arms around Even's shoulders and pushing his lips to the other's, grappling him with unbridled urgency, kissing the older boy hard on the mouth. 

Even chuckled into the fervent kiss, shifting to hover over Isak, his chest pressing carefully against the other's as he looked down at the human with fire in his eyes. 

The teenager grinned up at him, lifting his head to kiss the vampire's forehead. 

'You're beautiful.' The human mumbled, lifting his hands to touch Even's smooth cheeks, flushed pink from the intimacy. 

'No I'm n-' Even began, rolling his eyes. 

'Yes you are.' Isak shot back stubbornly, leaning up to meet his lips once more. 

Even kissed him softly, tongue opening him up, warm and tender and loving. 

'I missed this.' Isak whispered breathlessly, his vision flecking, the boy seeing constellations, asteroids, shooting-stars. 'This past month, I was such a fucking wreck.' His voice was small and strained, heavy with grief. 'Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night and just have a panic attack because I thought I'd forgotten your face...' 

Isak swallowed down the hard lump that formed in his throat. There was no need to be morose; not when all of that was over, not when the human was as sure as he could be that they'd never part again. 

The face that he had missed was here, right here in the _now_ , dusted with emotion, mere centimeters away. 

The boy was overcome with a profound sense of happiness as he looked up at the vampire; his sharp, angular features softened and eased with affection as the adolescent traced the immortal's nose with his own, reaching up to touch his strong jaw with his fingertips, leaning back a little to watch the small tears form in those sapphire blue eyes. 

'It's okay, baby.' Even hushed him softly, pulling the boy tight against his firm chest and breathing into his hair, encasing the adolescent completely in warmth. 'I'm here.' 

Isak tried not to cry too, he tried to be strong, not to break under the weight of relief. 

Even was here, Even was staying. 

The boy felt like he might burst. 

'What'd _you_ do, all those weeks?' Isak asked quietly after a long moment of comfortable silence, the vampire drawing lazy invisible patterns on the small of the teenager's back as the human snuggled into him. 

'I... I don't even want to talk about it, Isak.' Was all Even said. 

'Alright.' 

The human peered up at Even then, offering his lips, waiting expectantly for another kiss, the older male ducking and claiming his mouth with smoldering passion, their legs intertwining, the vampire's finger's finding their place in the boy's blond tresses, pulling at the curls a little too aggressively as he tasted the teenager's mouth. 

Isak let out a small squeal at the accidental roughness, skin prickling hot as he gripped the vampire's shoulders and continued to lick hungrily at his warm tongue. 

'Sorry, sorry.' Even whispered regretfully, letting the boy go and shifting back, face lit with worry as he pet the human's cheek. 

'No.' Isak groaned frustratedly, writhing underneath him. 'It's okay. Don't stop.' 

The human grasped the fabric of Even's shirt, successfully moving to straddle the other, despite his ailing limbs, the boy grinding his hips down softly onto the vampire, Even having gone unresponsive, the boy sulking, frowning in displeasure before shifting to trail sweet, stubborn little kisses down the older male's throat, trying to reanimate him, his unsteady fingers sinking to the hem of Even's shirt. 

'Isak-' Even grunted in exasperation, prying the teenager off of him with perceivable reluctance. 

'I'm fine-' The adolescent whined. 

Isak wasn't fine. His heart was beating too fast and his head was whirling. He felt like he was going to faint. 

'Isak.' The vampire said firmly, definitively, sighing before tucking the teenager under the duvet in one quick sweep. 'I have just revived you from near death.' He shook his head, chuckling, evidently finding Isak's boundless libido to be quite amusing. 'I am _not_ going to make love to you right now-' 

Isak scoffed petulantly, pouting as Even pulled the blanket to his clavicle. 

' _Make love._ ' Isak grumbled lowly. 'Who _the fuck_ even says that anymore?' 

Even huffs out a laugh, sliding under the covers with him and winding a strong arm around the teenager's waist. 

'Shut up.' He muttered softly, kissing the human's temple. 'I promise you there will be plenty of time for _that,_ but right now, you need to recover.' 

Isak sulked. 

'You're no fun.' 

Even pressed his lips to the corner of Isak's mouth, smiling at him mischievously. 

'Oh I can be plenty of fun.' The vampire whispered suggestively in the adolescent's ear. 'And you know it.' 

The boy shivered. 

'Why the fuck would you say something like that for?' The teenager complained, turning to Even with a look of mock resentment. 'It's not fair. It's like you're purposely teasing me.' 

The older male just clicked his tongue. 

'It's not my fault that you're so easy to tease.' 

Isak glowered at him, turning his back to the other, shifting in the vampire's arms. 

'I take back everything I said.' He muttered indignantly. 'I hate you.' 

Even laughed another beautiful, musical laugh, the noise melting every bone in the human's body. 

'No you don't.' Even whispered, spooning the the teenager, his back against the vampire's chest, the older pressing warm kisses at the scruff of Isak's neck. 

'It's true.' Isak murmured quietly, slipping under, dragged by the oars of exhaustion, sleep, once again, creeping over the mortal's body. 'I don't.' 

Even squeezed him closer, leaning forward to kiss the boy's cheek once more, wrapping the teenager in a few more blankets. 

'Rest now.' He said softly, his voice following Isak into his dreams. 'I love you, Lille sol.' 

Isak sank back into the vampire, words on his lips as he floated away, drifting into quiet, untroubled unconsciousness. 

'I love you too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You can stay forever"  
> \- Notting Hill, 1999
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for waiting almost four long chapters for Even's return. This update was originally going to be a much shorter snapshot, however, because you have all been so patient, I decided to just give you guys this long, angsty, fluffy fuckfest of emotion. I hope you like it, I wrote it while moderately tipsy on shamefully cheap wine, in the middle of the night, listening to Placebo and crying quiet tears. Thank you for everyone who has read up to this point, we're nearly at the end! Kudos and comments are always appreciated, I hope you have a lovely day. ❤️


	21. "Dead but delicious"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn! Porn for everyone!

**ONE MONTH LATER**

Isak sat at the cafeteria table, slouching lazily in his chair as he took small bites of a bread roll, trying uselessly to seem interested in Magnus' drivel, the idiotic boy talking at high speed as he shoved his phone in Isak's face, flicking through photographs of Copernicus and beaming like the proud mother of a newborn baby, each image more mundane and stupid than the last. 

'-and here he is eating out of his little bowl.' Magnus sung as Isak nodded absently, feigning a smile. 'And this one's Vilde holding him. Isn't that just so fucking cute!?' 

'Yep.' The other boy hummed, giving the screen a quick, fleeting glance and taking an exasperated sip of his juice. 'Adorable.' 

Magnus frowned. 'Aw, come on, bro, you didn't even look at it.' He complained, almost sulking as he shoved the phone so that it was right under Isak's nose, the boy blinking from the harshness of fluorescent-lit screen, his vision spotting, the adolescent letting out a sharp sigh. 

'I did.' Isak exclaimed in a flat lie. 'I told you, it was really adorable.' 

Seemingly satisfied, Magnus smiled, humming in agreement, pulling up another image of the fat, Siamese cat, this time wearing what appeared to be a sombrero, the feline looking vastly unhappy under the human-sized hat, the teenager chortling high as if it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. 

Isak just shook his head. 

_His friend was a dickhead._

'Isn't that fucking hilarious?' Magnus asked through breathless laughter. 'He looks like a little Mexican.' 

Isak face-palmed, pinching the bridge of his nose at his friend's boundless stupidity. 

’Poor fucking cat.' He muttered under his breath, relief flooding him as Magnus put down his phone, only to look off dreamily to the opposite end of the food court. 

'You know, I really think I found her. The one.' Magnus murmured, voice going hazy as he gazed off into the distance. 'The Sarah Michelle Gellar to my David Boreanaz.' 

'What? You mean Vilde?' Isak asked, confused once again by his friend's relentless penchant for pop culture references. 

'Yep.' Magnus affirmed, smiling complacently. 'She's amazing. She's only sitting over there and I miss her already.' Isak followed Magnus' eye-line to find that he was looking at his girlfriend, seated with her group only a few tables away, Vilde smiling coyly as she ran a fork through her salad, fluttering her eyelashes and gigging like a middle-schooler as Magnus shot her a ridiculous wink. 

'I'm happy for you, man.' Isak muttered half-heartedly, mildly repulsed by the rampant hetero-normativity but determined to support his friend anyway. 'You guys are cute together.' 

'Cuter than you and Even.' Magnus shot back with a self-satisfactory smirk, raising his eyebrows in a challenge. 

'Well Even's a blood-drinking vampire so you're probably right.' Isak muttered with a small laugh, unable to stop a blush from creeping over his cheeks as he thought of his immortal boyfriend. ' _Cute_ isn't the word I'd use to describe him.' 

'Speaking of Even-' Magnus started casually, leaning back in his chair, blue eyes curious. 'Me and Vilde want to have anal sex-' 

'Magnus!' Isak exclaimed, his blush deepening, the teenager choking a little as he took a gulp of his beverage, the boy, despite now being open and comfortable with his sexuality, a private, archaically modest person at heart. 

'What!?' Magnus asked defensively, raising his open-palmed hands. 'Stop being so weird about it, we're bros!' 

'I am not discussing this with you.' Was all the other said, taking a grounding bite of his bread with an irritated sigh, eyes darting, trying to think of a way to change the subject. 'I wonder if the canteen has any specials-' Isak began fruitlessly, his words cut off by Magnus' rapid fire questioning. 

'Help me out, man!' He exclaimed in complaint, completely indifferent to Isak's discomfort. 'Is there any preparation we need to do? What's a rim-job like? Should I give her one or is that just more of a gay thing? I heard about douching-' 

'Jesus Christ!' Isak almost shouted, violently withdrawing, his eyes widening in pure revulsion as his brain was assaulted with imagery involving Magnus and Vilde that quite frankly made him want to experience mild memory loss. 'Look man, if you really want to know about this then just ask Eskild, I'm sure he'd just love to tell you every last detail-' 

'What you guys talking about?' Asked Jonas suddenly, seeming to materialize out of nowhere and approaching the table, back-pack slung over one shoulder, his grey eyes bewildered as he took in Isak's horrified expression, Mahdi standing a little bit behind him, typing apathetically on his phone. 

'Anal sex.' Magnus said nonchalantly, shrugging as he reached over to take a casual sip of Isak's drink. 

'Magnus!' Isak hissed, turning a distinct shade of pink as Jonas took a seat beside him, the boy reclaiming his juice in a peevish snatch before groaning and sliding it back, realizing he no longer wanted it now that it had been tainted. 

'Don't worry about Isak.' Jonas muttered jokily. 'He's always been a prude.' 

Isak just scoffed, giving Jonas a playful shove, his childhood friend chuckling as he set down his bag. 

'They're selling waffles at the canteen.' Mahdi said suddenly, still standing, pocketing his phone and looking on expectantly. 

'Shit really!?' Magnus exclaimed, rising from his chair with a rampant immediacy. 'Bro, game changed.' He said joyously, mussing Isak's hair and giving Jonas a fist bump. 'Laters haters.' 

Isak chuckled as he watched as Magnus pranced away, Mahdi following him in his toe, the blonde teenager blowing an obnoxious kiss in Vilde's direction as he passed her, the pale-haired girl giggling, big-eyed and rosy cheeked, reaching a hand up to catch it and smiling so widely that it looked like it hurt her teeth. 

'The two of them together are fucking ridiculous.' Jonas said with a seemingly disgusted sigh, taking a sip of his red bull and rolling his eyes. 

'They're in love.' Isak said, surprised by the sweet, idyllic nature of his tone. 

'Wow, Isak. Your relationship has turned you into a softie.' The browned-hair boy laughed, tucking a dark curl behind his ear before his face became serious, the teenager extending a hand to squeeze Isak's shoulder. 'I'm glad things are working out for you and Even. It got a bit... Eh-' He struggled, as if trying to find the right word. ' _Interesting_ there.' 

Isak winced at the sudden regurgitation of the bitter memories, not ever wanting to think of those times, of how immensely he had hurt, drowning within the emptiness Even's absence had left, wide and gaping, his past despondency contrasting so violently with the life he now lead, the happiness he had now found. 

Fortunately the teenager had been able to play off his earlier confessions as simply a marijuana-induced bout of schizophrenia, the boy reassuring both Mahdi and Jonas that he didn't _really_ believe his boyfriend was a vampire and that the delusion had all been a part of the momentary break-up, a mere ramification of the healing process. 

'I know, I know.' He muttered, shaking his head in embarrassment as Jonas gave his shoulder a supportive little shake. 'I was just broken-hearted and very, very high.' 

A part of Isak was still weighted by the fact that he couldn't be entirely honest with his oldest friend, the boy understanding that the reality of things was quite a hard pill to swallow for someone of a normal mindset, the adolescent coming to accept that Even's vampirism was a prospect that he had to keep quiet about, only really being able to discuss such a topic with Magnus. 

It wasn't perfect but nothing in life was perfect, the boy comforted by the fact that an existence alongside Even felt pretty damn close. 

'I'm good now, though.' Isak murmured with a muted smile, reiterating the point. 'Everything's good.' 

'That's fantastic man.' Jonas said with a heartfelt nod. 'You look great, Isak.' 

'W-what?' Isak stammered, blinking, taken aback by his best friend's emotional sincerity. 

'You look radiant.' Jonas said simply, grinning wide and giving Isak another playful shove. 

'What the fuck bro?' The other asked, a small, bashful giggle escaping his lips. ' _Radiant_?' 

'It's true! You're looking better than you have in years.' Jonas exclaimed with an unapologetic shrug, laughing his high laugh, his face settling, his stormy eyes warm and calm and grounding like they always had been. 'You look happy.' 

'I am.' Isak murmured quietly, not hesitating for even a second, a smile flickering on his lips, his heart beating soft. 'I am happy.' 

*** 

'Die zombie scum!' Linn yelled at the television, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Isak as they played _Call of Duty: Black Ops_ , the boy having gotten home from school a little over an hour earlier, chuckling as the enraged redhead gripped her controller, struggling to keep up with his roommate's vast video-gaming skill set. 

'Die motherfucker! Die!' She screamed, tearing her machine gun through several zombies at once, their animated blood and guts splatting across the screen as she howled at her own success. 

Isak laughed again, slightly overwhelmed by Linn's raucous aggression, stalling slightly as his phone started ringing, the boy checking the screen with a slight frown. 

**Mamma.**

'Ah, Linn...' Isak said suddenly, starting to shuffle from his place on the bed, hesitant to interrupt the fiery-haired girl, her eyes violent and ignited with determination. 

'I gotta take this call.' 

Linn groaned, hitting pause on the game and looking up at him with a vastly riled expression, tossing her controller to the side, red-faced from zombie-killing-induced fury. 

'Fine.' She grunted, shifting to pick up the bag of chips at the foot of the mattress and stuffing a sloppy handful into her mouth. 'But make it quick man, we’re on a fucking roll.' 

Isak nodded, smirking and stepping past her, leaving the room to stand in the hallway, leaning into the wall before accepting the call, taking a deep breath in order to steady himself. 

His mother had long been released from her stay at the institution, Isak's relationship with the woman slowly but surely repairing, the figurative hole within the teenager's chest closing up ever so slightly with every visit, the void he had felt since childhood filling in little by little with every phone call. 

Still, it was difficult, the pain and abandonment he had felt as a child never quite evading him completely, the boy having to swallow it down, having to understand that maybe things would never be one hundred percent; that maybe nothing could ever erase the years and years of unintentional trauma the woman had caused him, coming to the conclusion that maybe that was okay. Maybe fifty percent was better than nothing. 

'Mamma.' Isak said into the phone, looking down at the timber of the floorboards. 'How are you?' 

'Isak, darling.' His mother replied softly, her voice calm and jovial, indicative of her steady frame of mind. 'I'm good. I just wanted to check in on you, sweetheart.' 

Isak smiled, touched somehow within the most vulnerable part of him at his mother's concern, feeling like a six-year-old, heart aching. 

'I'm doing really well.' The boy murmured truthfully, the smile widening on his lips. 

'That’s good, love. And how are things with Even?' She asked softly, a grin in her voice. 'I still haven't met him. I'd like to, Isak, you should bring him over for dinner next week-' 

'Next week?' Isak muttered, frowning. 'Dinner?' 

'Yes.' Marianne affirmed concisely. 'I'll make spaghetti bolognaise, your favourite.' 

Isak chuckled, the irony of the proposition lost on his mother. 

'I don't know if dinner is a good idea.' He murmured, struggling for words. 'I mean, Even's not really into... Food...' 

His mother scoffed in bewilderment. 'What do you mean, not into food?' She snapped, her voice governing. 'Does he have some kind of strange dietary needs?' 

'You could say that.' Isak choked out, stifling a laugh. 

It was almost funny now, ever since Even had stopped _killing_ for sustenance. The vampire kept a small fridge full of donated blood bags to feed from, obtaining the bodily fluids through illegal trading but refraining from murder, the only fresh blood he ever drank coming from Isak, drawn in small amounts during the throws of passion. 

'Well, we'll figure something out.' Marianne said decidedly, the woman clicking her tongue with an exasperated sigh. 'I just want to make you a home cooked meal, Isak. God only knows what kind of over-processed junk you are scarfing down on a daily basis.' 

Just as she said that, Isak could hear Eskild from the other room, barging into the kitchen with a loud slam of the door. 

'Pizza!' The eldest roommate exclaimed, almost in song, voice characteristically jovial. 'Pizza for everyone!' 

The commotion coerced Linn from Isak's bedroom, the girl stumbling out into the hallway and off into the dining area, propelled by the mention of food and the wafting smell of pepperoni. 

'Linn! Isak!' Eskild shouted out, voice motherly and impatient. 'Pizza!' 

'Uh... Mamma, I need to go.' Isak mumbled into the phone, plagued with childlike guilt. 'My roommate got us food and he's gonna flip it-' 

'Oh no that's fine, Iss.' His mother said delicately, her tone sweet and understanding, her slight disappointment hidden well. 'We'll text about dinner with Even, okay? Have a good night, darling. I love you.' 

'Okay.' Isak murmured, voice strained with inescapable emotion. 'I love you too, Mamma.' 

The boy's voice was faint as he hung up, shaking his head and running his hand through his own hair before strolling into the kitchen to join his friends. 

'It’s about time you actually paid for food around here instead of stealing everyone else's.' Linn grumbled to Eskild, sitting cross-legged in her chair around the small dining table and piling her plate with three large slices. 

'Shut up Linn.' The young man snapped, placing a pizza-laden plate in front of Isak and patting his head. 'Noooooora!' He called out melodramatically, a whine in his voice. 'Stop with that now! Have a slice of pizza!' 

The blonde girl was seated on the couch in the living room, her white-gold hair messed, sticking up in an array around her pretty features, the adolescent wearing a large grey sweater and craning over a laptop, her eyes crazed, paying the rest of them no mind. 

'Urgh. Shhh!' Noora hushed him, pushing a few strands of her pale hair out of her face and tapping the keyboard of her computer with restless velocity. 

'Noora wants to leave us, she's been searching for apartments all day.' Eskild muttered morosely, taking a bite of his pizza with a glum expression and turning to the boy. 'Can you believe that, Isak?' 

Isak shrugged guiltily, stuffing some pizza into his mouth as he remained silent. 

The teenager couldn't help but feel bad that Noora was sleeping on the couch. He knew it wasn't his fault and that she had moved out to be with William, but he did more or less take her old room. And when she had come back from London, her heart broken entirely and her faith in love irreparably shattered, she had nowhere to go but a fold-out sofa in the small, shared living room. That, or Eskild's bed, the latter option being less than ideal. 

‘This was never meant to be permanent, Eskild.' Noora said tersely, standing begrudgingly from her seat in the lounge room and making her way the table. 'I just can't sleep on the couch anymore.' 

'But this is your home!' Eskild exclaimed in a whimper, sounding as if he were about to cry. 'We can get a bigger couch, Noora, or you can even sleep with me-' 

'I am _not_ sleeping in your cum-stained sheets.' The girl shot back, raising an eyebrow as she sat down, reaching for a plate. 

'I'll have you know that my sheets are spotless.' Eskild murmured with a dignified flick of his hand. 

'Only because I wash them.' Noora muttered, biting into her pizza with a roll of her stark blue eyes, lashes fluttering. 

'Exactly! Who's gonna wash my sheets when you leave me!?' 

The girl sighed, shaking her head in grievance and looking at Eskild with a stern, sobering expression. 

'I'm sorry, Eskild. But there's not enough room for us all.' 

Eskild just sulked, face going pouty, his shoulders dropping in exaggerated turmoil. 

'Is it really so bad of me to want all of my children under the same roof?' He asked miserably, each of his roommates scoffing in respective dismay at being referred to as his offspring. 

'Can you please stop calling us your children?' Isak muttered with a groan. 'You're 21, Eskild. It's weird.' 

'Oh Isak.' Eskild chirped, extending a hand to pinch at the adolescent's cheek. 'My ever-grumpy little gay son.' 

'Seriously.' Isak complained, smacking him away, eyes lit with annoyance. 'I'm not your son.' 

'Maybe not biologically.' Eskild snapped. 'But spiritually, it is if I have carried you in my gay womb and birthed you out of my figurative gay vagina-' 

Isak dry-retched, he and Noora putting down their pizza in unison while Linn just glowered at the beaming young man in revulsion. 

'Ew...' The redhead muttered, each roommate in a varying state of disgust. 'What the fuck?' 

'Whatever, Linn.' Eskild said acidly, dismissing the other as he always did. 'I think it was beautiful metaphor.' 

'Alright.' Isak murmured, wrenching himself from the table, having thoroughly lost his appetite. 'Thanks for the pizza but I'm leaving. I've got, uh, homework.' He waved limply, pushing in his chair and taking his plate to the sink. 'Bye.' 

'Goodnight, baby Jesus. Love you.' Eskild sang as Isak nodded awkwardly before staggering into the hall, desperate to retreat to the solace of his bedroom. 

'Yeah. Love you too, Eskild.' Isak muttered reluctantly as he shuffled off, knowing that if he didn't return the sentiment he would never hear the end of it. 

*** 

The boy waited for night to fall, sitting at his window for what felt like the millionth time, cold, frigid air filtering into his bedroom, the teenager watching idly as the gentle glow of twilight became eaten by darkness, the sky morphing into an inky blue, speckled with thousands of stars, the points of light unusually visible, like twinkling embers flickering bright against coal, the moon hanging in the midst, halved and silver, shining light onto the adolescent's small, pallid face. 

'Hey baby.' Isak heard from beneath him, the boy jostling in fright as Even appeared at the ledge of the window, crawling up to sit beside the teenager, the vampire looking unnervingly beautiful, his honey-blonde hair swept in a perfect tousle, his paper-white, porcelain skin dusted with pink, rosy from the cold, his full, reddened lips twisted into a delightful smile, the brightness of the expression seeming to light up the vast bleakness of the entire night. 

'Hey...' Isak murmured in almost a whisper, dazzled, shivering as the older male drew him close, grabbing the boy at the waist and kissing him chastely on the mouth, hard and close-lipped but making the teenager whimper. 

'I was thinking...' Even muttered, pressing the boy into the warmth of his black, woolen coat, cerulean eyes glimmering, tepid, wide and enchanting. 

'Mmm?' Isak hummed softly, feeling as if he were hypnotized, breathing fast as the vampire stooped, kissing tenderly at the adolescent's cold cheeks, his lips hot and gentle and sweetly inebriating. 

'Do you want to stay over at mine tonight?' Even inquired affectionately, toying mindlessly with the waves of Isak's fringe, twirling a particular curl around his finger and leaning in to give the adolescent's hairline a tender kiss. 

'I just bought this really cool projector off of Amazon, the one I was telling you about from the 1950s-' 

Isak huffed. 

Even had made a hobby of collecting various articles of vintage film paraphernalia and equipment, typically originating from the era in which he was first born. Isak wasn't exactly sure where or how Even got the funds to aid his penchant for antiques, the boy deducting that it was probably for the best that he refrained from questioning it. The older male had once briefly mentioned something about money laundering, Isak deciding to just shrug it off, coming to the conclusion that criminal fraud was probably one of the least shady aspects of the vampire's morality. 

Plus, it wasn't like anyone would ever stand a chance in tying to arrest him. 

'You're not going to make me watch another black and white film, are you?' The teenager muttered in complaint, squirming a little when the vampire seized his jaw, grinning down at the human with sunshine in his irises. 

'Seriously, Isak-' 

But Isak interrupted him, shuddering softly as he was assaulted with another loving, blood-warming kiss. 

'I-I just don't think I can sit through another two hour length movie about some overly dramatic straight people during world war fucking two-' 

Even flinched, his arms remaining enlaced around the boy but loosening significantly, the older male jolting back, almost as if he had been physically wounded. 

'Excuse me.' Even murmured, face alight with mock offense, his eyes facetiously sorrowful. 'Casablanca is a cinematic masterpiece.' 

'It was boring.' Isak shot back flatly with a rebellious grin, deepening the insult. 

'I'm going to let you get away with making that truly blasphemous comment purely on the grounds that you're pretty.' Even snapped, drawing a light giggle from the boy as he kissed at his nose. 'But that is all you have to stand on right now.' 

'Shut up' Isak murmured belligerently, trying to stifle a smile. 

'I won't.' Even hummed, ducking to nibble at the teenager's jaw and chuckling at the boy's sharp intake of breath, marvelling momentarily in how easily flustered the adolescent could become. 

'But anyway.' Even began softly, tearing himself from the adolescent and once again crouching at the window's sill. 'I'll have you know that we're going to be watching a film from _your_ era. You'll like it. It's has a lot of bright colors and upbeat dance numbers. All the kind of things to keep the uncultured youth entertained.' 

Isak scowled. 

'Whatever.' 

'Meet me out the front in one second, okay cutiepie?' Even sung brightly, leaning in to plant one last kiss to Isak's cheek, wet and soft and branding, before he hopped out of the window, moving at a bleary, supernatural speed. 

'What the fuck?' Isak muttered, leaning out over the pane with a grimace, peering out into darkness as he heard a jovial snicker from below. 'Don't call me that-' 

*** 

Isak lay with his cheek pressed against the vampire's chest, the two curled into each other on the velvet couch in Even's living room, the large projector being the only source of light, casting soft shapes of colour over the lovers' entangled bodies, the boy's heart fluttering in his chest as he sunk into the warmth of his boyfriend's strong embrace, the adolescent blinking back tears as the final minutes of Baz Lurhman's Moulin Rogue! bled to an end, the film eliciting a strange emotional response from the typically sardonic human. The teenager flushed with mortification as he let out an involuntarily sniffle, hiding his face bashfully in the soft fabric of Even's t-shirt as the vampire moved a large hand to ruffle the smaller boy's golden curls. 

'You're crying?' The older male murmured with a chuckle, craning his head slightly in order to give the teenager a look of mock disappointment, clicking his tongue. 'God, Isak. You're such a fucking sap.' 

Isak quailed as Even grasped him by the chin, forcing the other to look into his liquid blue eyes, the vampire giving him a smug, mirthful grin and swatting away the boy's tears with the tips of his fingers. 

'Piss off.' Isak muttered, frowning sulkily in Even's hold and sniffling once more. 'It's not my fault that the love Christian and Satine share is heartbreakingly beautiful.' 

Even cocked his head to the side, smirking. 

' _You're_ heartbreakingly beautiful.' He shot back, lifting his eyebrows and smiling mischievously. 

Even though he knew the comment was mostly facetious, Isak couldn't help but blush even deeper, tearing from Even's grasp with a sheepish scoff. 

'Jesus, Even. Who's the sap now?' He muttered, eyes casting to the side as he fought the smile that played on his lips. 

'Still you.' Even said smugly, taking Isak abruptly by the wrists and flipping him on his back with overwhelming speed, laying the adolescent flat against the cushions of the couch, craning over him with a sickeningly sweet smile. 

The teenager's head whirled as the vampire ducked to plant a scattering of tender kisses down the sensitive skin of Isak's throat, the touches gentle, feather soft but broiling hot. 

_Fuck._

'I know you love me.' Even murmured into the boy's neck, the warmth of his breath making Isak shiver. 

'W-what on Earth gave you that impression?' Isak asked breathlessly, fingers clawing at the vampire’s back, clutching the fabric of his shirt and sighing as Even nipped softly at his collarbone. 

'You've said so, multiple times now.' The other replied through his painfully gentle ministrations, pecking at the shell of the human's ear, a smile in his voice. 'Thought it all slipped by me, didn't you?' 

'I-I don't know what you're t-talking about.' Isak stammered faintly, reduced to putty as Even shifted so that their foreheads were touching, his flushed lips ghosting ever so slightly over the mortal's own. 

'I quite like how it sounds.' Even murmured deep and low against the boy's mouth, nose skimming the other’s, hands exploring the adolescent's torso, hipbones grazing. 

'Yeah?' Isak breathed out softly, cursing the fabrics that sat between them, wanting Even to tear the clothing to shreds, wanting his skin against his, the teenager already becoming hard, gasping and rolling his hips into the grinning vampire. 

'Yeah.' Even whispered back, register latent with seduction, his blue eyes burning, pupils blown, appearing almost pure black with lust. 'Say it again.' 

'Mmm?' The adolescent hummed, his thoughts fogged, the older boy uniting their mouths in a passionate kiss, his tongue stroking against the adolescent's top lip before opening him up, sweet and sickly and tasting like poison. 

'Say it again.' Even repeated, almost sternly, pulling back with an expectant expression, irises twinkling. 

'I love you.' Isak almost moaned, grabbing at the back of Even's neck with desperate hands and lifting his chin, eyelashes flitting, the boy offering himself up for another kiss. 

Even grinned widely, the expression almost blinding, world-crushingly perfect, leaning back in to claim Isak's awaiting lips, biting down softly and eliciting a shallow groan from the teenager underneath him. 

'And again.' He demanded, smiling sweetly and grinding into Isak as if to punctuate his order, his cock rock-hard through his pants, pressing into the adolescent's inner thigh and making him quiver. 

'I just s-said it.' Isak gasped stubbornly, trying to hold onto the last threads of his dignity as he felt his body become boneless. 'This is stupid.' 

Even grunted lowly, taking Isak's bottom lip between his teeth once more and giving him another nibble, this time a little roughly, drawing a small amount of blood, his hot tongue lapping at the microscopic incision, the boy moaning, skin pricking in pleasure. 

'I said say it again, Isak.' Even said firmly, looking down at the boy with a playful scowl. 

'I love you.' Isak repeated, feigning annoyance, finding the internal strength to roll his eyes. 

The impertinent expression was wiped clean from the human's face as Even hissed, kissing the boy with fervent hunger, sucking and biting and licking the teenager’s lips with a fresh aggression. 

Isak didn't want to ever break away, not even for air, his arms winding around the vampire's solid shoulders, the boy wanting to disappear into the kiss, wanting to get lost in every part of Even Bech Næsheim. 

'Once more.' Even ordered when he pulled back to let Isak breathe, eyes glittering, hands grasping at the teenager's waist, firm and possessive. 

'I love you, I love you, I love you.' Isak gasped out, managing to hold a sarcastic tone even in his weakened, frustrated state. 'For fuck’s sake.' He groaned. 'Are you happy now?' 

Even just grinned, unsheathed canines glinting, his beautiful face mischievous, menacing. 

'Almost.' 

And before Isak knew it he was off of the couch, scooped up like a baby and cradled in his lover's arms, the vampire beaming down at him as he carried the teenager to his dim lit bedroom. 

'Stop picking me up like this all the time.' Isak complained in a half-hearted grumble. 'It compromises my masculinity.' 

Even just scowled, making his way to the foot of the bed before throwing Isak down onto it, the boy's nerves turning to fire, the flames of desire licking his insides and making him ache as the vampire stalled for a moment before pressing him into the mattress, crawling over the human and pecking at his cheeks. 

'Define _masculinity_ , Isak.' Even said pretentiously, glaring at the squirming teenager challengingly, eyes dark. 

'Whatever, you know what I mean, don't be-' Isak began to mutter breathlessly, the vampire's soft hand coming down to muffle his words, pressing over the boy's mouth. 

'Quiet now.' Even said, his voice turning deep and authoritative, tinged with playfulness. 'Unless you feel like telling me you love me again I want to hear nothing more from you.' 

Isak mewled softly into Even's palm as the vampire ground into him, showing the boy the full extent of his arousal, the older male removing his hand only to replace it with his plush, blood-red lips, kissing Isak with feverish urgency, his fingers shifting to the hemline of Isak's sweatshirt, wasting no time, only breaking their kiss to pull the article of clothing over the adolescent's head and toss it on the ground. 

'Look at you.' Even groaned into Isak's wet mouth, the boy trembling, struck with bone-deep want, the vampire's fingers running over the teenager's toned abdomen, exploring the soft rivets of his lean muscles and the flat, smooth plane of his stomach. 

'You're so beautiful.' Even crooned, dragging his lips down the human's chest, stopping at the waistband of his pants and running the very tips of his fangs across the supple, tender flesh there, barely breaking the skin but making Isak squeal. 

The vampire let out a low, dark chuckle, looking up at the dishevelled mortal with starved, wildfire eyes before moving to undo the fly of his jeans. 

'N-no.' Isak moaned as Even slid the teenager's pants past his underwear-sheathed erection, his hot breath making the teenager convulse. 

'What is it?' Even asked worriedly, pulling back completely, his pretty face lit with concern as he gazed up at the human. 'W-what's wrong?' 

Isak blushed fiercely. He knew what he wanted but he felt small under Even's eyes, inexperienced. 

He took a soft hold of Even's shoulders, guiding the yielding vampire to lie on his back. 

'N-nothing's wrong.' Isak said timidly, moving to straddle his undead lover, mimicking the vampire's earlier movements and reaching to pull off his shirt. 

'I-I want to- uh... I want to make you feel good.' Even moaned at this, softening under Isak's unsure fingers, letting the human undress him and offering the younger boy an encouraging little nod as he ran his shaky hands over the vampire's lean, lightly sculpted chest, exploring his lover with shy hesitation. 

The vampire's skin was taut and flawless and porcelain white, feeling almost like silk to the touch. 

Even grinned tenderly at Isak as the human marvelled at this, green eyes smouldering, the boy never really having had the chance to properly inspect the other despite their previous sexual encounters, the vampire always taking the reins, perpetually guarded. 

The teenagers cheeks burned as looked up to the other for reassurance before lowering himself to kiss at Even's pallid collarbone, pressing his lips to his smooth pectoral muscle and sliding down his boyfriend's elegant body, peppering his ribcage with shy, sweet kisses and leaving a trail of soft, wet pecks all the way to the deep v-cut of the vampire's stomach, the young man sighing at the adolescent's every touch, moving his long, pale fingers to tangle in Isak's blonde hair, pulling on it lightly as he began to unzip Even's pants. 

'Isak...' The older boy groaned, letting out a sharp breath as Isak nudged the vampire's hardness with his nose, Even's cock straining against the cotton of his black boxers, the boy peering up at the other through thick eyelashes, trembling with excitement and pressing tentative, hot kisses to the older male's imposing but clothed length, sighing into the fabric as Even let out dry, guttural moans. 

'Baby...' He all but grunted, his fingers tautening within Isak's curls, his nails grazing the boy's scalp, the adolescent letting out a soft whine, shuddering under the dominant touch, heart racing with giddiness at Even's approval. 

'Are you sure?' The vampire gasped, conflicted, struggling in the midst of his lustful haze to ensure Isak's comfortability. 'You don't have to.' He breathed out weakly, peering down at the boy with a thinly veiled look of savage desire. 

'I want to, Evy.' Isak hummed softly, fumbling a little nervously with Even's underwear, struggling to yank it down. 

The vampire didn't need any further convincing, assisting the other in his pursuits and removing his remaining garments in a lighting quick flurry before lying back on the bed once more, letting out a deep growl as Isak shuffled between his legs, lowering his face to Even's freed, raging boner, the sight of it making the human bite his own lip. 

_Fuck._

'Isak...' Even groaned as the teenager pressed his lips to the tip of the shaft, the human's face hot and flushed, his blood pumping fast as he tried to remember what he'd seen in the countless pornographic films he'd watched for the entirety of his adolescence. 

Making an effort to hold eye contact with the vampire, the boy batted his eyelashes, gazing up at Even and sticking out his tongue, moaning a little as he licked at the slitted head, already dripping slightly with sticky sweet pre-cum. 

'Fuck... Isak...' The older male hissed, his deep, animalistic grunts causing something to tighten within the pit of Isak's stomach, the boy running his tongue up the smooth, hot skin of his lover's shaft before taking the appendage deep into his mouth with an imprudent level of enthusiasm, the stiff cock straining at his jaw and hitting sharply at the back of his throat, causing the boy to choke slightly, sputtering on the vampire's erection, his eyes watering as he gagged, pulling back to gasp for air. 

'Careful, baby...' Even murmured in a strangled growl, amusement gracing his famished, blackened eyes, his hands becoming gentle in Isak's locks, smoothing back his fringe, soft and soothing. 'Don't take too much at once.' 

Isak's cheeks reddened profusely at his own inexperience, the boy nodding, becoming shy again. Even just smiled at him, watching the teenager duck, hesitantly taking him in his mouth once more, this time only the first few inches, the strangely sweet skin hot on his tongue, the boy clasping his hand around the remaining length, stroking and rubbing as he sucked, the sensation generally uncomfortable, yet somehow exhilarating, the boy becoming even harder, his arousal almost painful as the vampire let out breathless, appraising groans. 

'Isak...' Even gasped as the teenager adjusted, the older male grasping the human's golden tresses and guiding him down, thrusting a little and encouraging him to take more. 'Yes... you're so good at this...' His voice was ragged, soaked with pleasure. 'Fuck...' 

Isak hummed contently around Even's cock, tingling all over, feeling as if he could come right there and then, untouched, just at having pleased his lover. 

'...Enough, baby.' The vampire cooed after a short while, hips bucking as he wrenched the boy off of him with perceivable difficultly. 'I'm not going to last...' 

Isak quaked as he was suddenly placed on his back, shoved into the pillows, the vampire ridding the boy of his pants and underwear within seconds, kissing at his lips, hard and wet, cupping the teenager's cheeks and clawing at his curls and consuming his soul. 

'E-Even.' Isak whined, wanting to be destroyed, wanting Even to take every last bit of him, to claim him, to _wreck_ him. 

'You're so fucking hot, Isak.' He said in a strained whisper, making the boy's heart squeeze, his breaths turning to pants. 'You never cease to amaze me.' 

And with that, the vampire made his way to Isak's groin, licking and biting and kissing down the human's burning flesh before settling between his thighs, giving the milky soft skin there a few tender pecks, the boy gasping as lips brushed teasingly at his perineum, a hand moving to palm the teenager's stiff cock, the movements deliberately lazy, enough to make Isak wail and thrash and grasp at the sheets beneath him, but not enough to allow him any kind of release. 

Isak whimpered in bitter ecstasy as he felt Even's scorching tongue circle his entrance, wet and hot but barely grazing him, painfully soft, painfully slow. 

'E-Even.' Isak moaned, jolting violently at the sinful contact, the vampire resting a pacifying hand on the teenager's stomach as his tongue became fervent, lapping at the boy's rim in harsh, solid strokes, the human shuddering in pleasure, making sweet, strangled little noises as the older male devoured him. 

'Y-yes.' Isak cried softly, melting into the bed, his entire form feeling as if it had been suddenly electrocuted, sparks shooting through the wiring of his veins and his back arching as Even spread him wide, large hands sinking under to grab the soft fullness of the adolescent's ass, grasping Isak's cheeks and wrenching the boy's hips up from the mattress in order to allow himself better access as he slipped his hot, rough tongue into the human's tight, sensitive entrance. 

The feeling was like nothing Isak had ever experienced. It was warm and wet and intimate and _filthy._

He _loved it._

'Even...' 

Isak let out tearful whines as the vampire fucked him with his tongue, jutting in and out in a cruel, slow rhythm, fingernails digging into the supple flesh of the teenager's ass, a low groan on the older male's lips as he ate out the other, the frequency of the sound seeming to vibrate through the human's entire body, a cold chill rolling up his spine. 

'More... Even...' Isak begged in a cry, wanting to be opened up, craving a bigger intrusion. 'Please...' 

Even pulled back, pressing a soft, wet kiss to the boy's inner thigh before evading him, the vampire moving in a blur amidst the dark as he retrieved a bottle of lubricant, snapping it open, the boy gasping as his lover's warm breath returned to the space between his legs, the older male dripping the ice-cold solution over Isak's slick, abused hole, hesitating for a long, painful moment before shifting to ease a single finger past the teenager's rim, the adolescent letting out a strangled gasp. 

'M-more...' Isak pleaded again, his eyes squeezing shut in anticipation, his breathing coarse. 

The older male obliged, adding a second, twisting and stroking and searching for Isak's sweet spot, the boy letting out a high, breathless screech as Even found it, the older male pressing down on the bundle of nerves with punishing pressure. 

'Fuck...' Isak moaned, the vampire working his way up the boy's body as his long fingers remained inside of him, the vampire's face stony and monstrous, his lips curled into a silent snarl, teeth bared, his midnight blue eyes thirsty and ravenous as he thrust hard against the human's aching prostate. 

Isak shuddered, his fretful form becoming paralysed as Even kissed him once more, growling low, stealing his breaths. 

Even after all that had happened between them, even after the heartache and the tears and vulnerable professions of love, there was something about Even Bech Naesheim that still managed to _terrify_ the boy. 

But the fear was welcome, exciting and frightening, eliciting hot, thrilling adrenaline, making him quail and shiver with unadulterated need. He was safe with the vampire, that he knew. He was safe in his arms, free to let go, free to forsake the false bravado he put on around his friends, free to be needy and soft and Even's. 

He could forget all the expectations that had been put on him and just submit, let the vampire break him apart and put him together and _love_ him. 

'Even...' He mumbled faintly into the kiss, struggling for air. 'Please... Please... I want...' 

Even pulled back then, still inflicting Isak's hole with increasingly fast, lube-slicked digits, a devious smile forming on his full lips. 

'You want something?' He asked in a teasing voice, resoundingly smug as Isak wailed and rocked on his fingers. 

'Yes... P-please.' Isak choked out, head thrown back as Even sprinkled his throat with soft, burning kisses. 

'What do you want, angel?' He hummed against the boy's neck, eyelashes brushing as he nipped tenderly at the flushed skin. 

'I... I...' Isak gasped as Even's fingers scissored inside of him, wrenching him wide, nails grazing, stinging and scalding, the boy's eyes rolling back in their sockets as he moaned in euphoria. 

'If you want something you need to ask for it properly.' The vampire's voice was low, dripping with lust, the older boy toying with the other, dark eyes tantalising. 

'I want you to... fuck me...' Isak gasped in a plea, voice hitching, the boy practically sobbing for it, far too turned on to be embarrassed. 'Fuck me... Even... please...' 

The vampire grunted, wrenching his fingers from the human's ass and stepping off the bed all together, the boy feeling cold and alone without the other's proximity, letting out a faint whine as the older male leered at him, standing and stroking his own cock as he watched the teenager writhe against the black covers. 

'Get on your hands and knees.' 

The order caused the muscles in the pit of Isak's stomach to clench, his cock throbbing and his skin prickling as he scrambled to obey, the boy positioning himself almost awkwardly, hands fisted in the duvet below his palms, the teenager rocking his hips back in anticipation, desperate, needing the release that only the vampire could bring him. 

'Fuck Isak.' Even groaned from behind him, unseen to the human, his voice ragged and restrained. 'You have no fucking idea what you do to me.' 

Isak let out a high grunt as he suddenly felt his lover's body heat against the back of his thighs, the vampire gliding the head of his unforgiving length over the boy's throbbing entrance, the adolescent hissing, quivering in delight and then whimpering in agony as Even drew back, leaving him needy and flustered. 

'P-please.' He mewled, tears in his eyes as a large hand moved to grip the creamy flesh of his ass, groping and kneading each cheek in rough grasps, Isak gasping as he suddenly felt the soft plushness of lips caress his skin, the older male kissing and sucking and nibbling at the boy's buttocks, marking him, teeth grazing the epidermis and making Isak whine. 

'You're so pretty like this, Baby...' Even cooed softly, massaging the globes of the boy’s ass, hands turning gentle, tranquilizing. 'Spread yourself for me.' 

Isak let out an embarrassing noise, drawing his knees further apart in obedience and sliding so that he was down on his elbows, hips elevated in the air, the position obscene, leaving him completely exposed, thoroughly bared to the vampire behind him. 

'Good boy.' Even crooned, administering a soft tap to Isak's left cheek, making the boy jump. 

The whole thing should have been humiliating to the teenager, degrading even. Except somehow, it wasn't. Isak couldn't think of a place he'd rather be than right there, on all fours, vulnerable to the older male's every whim. 

'Please... Even... Please...' He sobbed, practically grovelling, unable to take much more of the torment. 

'Shhh... Baby.' Even murmured tenderly, rubbing calming circles into the boy's lower back as he moved to grasp the teenager by the hips. 'Don't fret. I'll give you what need.' 

'Yes... Yes, Even... Please.' Isak cried, pushing back on him, teardrops rolling down his face, flushed in pink, the teenager gasping as Even returned the tip of his cock to the adolescent's rim, running it along the sensitive tissue, causing Isak's form to stutter. 

'You know I'll always take good care of you...' The vampire purred, taking a firm hold of the human's hips, thumbs digging into the soft indents at the base of his spine as he sunk into him. The boy screamed, the sound breathless and throaty, Even's hard length splitting him open, the feeling of it indescribably perfect, sending waves of relief and rapture through his torso, like a breath of air after near suffocation. 

Even let out a growl as he pulled the boy all the way back on his cock, the adolescent's ass hitting his hipbones with a soft clap. 

'Fuck... Fuck...' Isak gasped as Even stilled within him, the sensation torturous, the boy needing friction, needing movement. 'Move...' He cried, writhing against the large hands that held him in place. 'Please Even... Move...' 

Something in the boy's desperation appeared to resonate with the vampire, Even beginning to drag himself out, torturously slow, the teenager screeching between clenched teeth as the older male slammed back into him, rough and hard, intoxicating pleasure rippling through the both of them, their respective groans becoming one. 

'Yes...' Isak moaned as Even thrust in and out of him, alternating his rhythm from soft and slow to hard and fast, leaving the teenager in ruins, sobbing and aching as the vampire's cock ground against his prostate, hitting it straight on, sending sharp pangs of ecstasy through the human's body, unrelentingly sweet, over and over. 'Yes, E-Even... Yes... Yes.' 

'Isak... Fuck...' Even grunted, pounding into the teenager with such unbridled fervency that it almost sent the boy knocking into the headboard. 'Fuck.' 

'I... I need to-' Isak sobbed, voice breaking. 'Please... Please let me...' He was destroyed, face buried in the sheets beneath him, his back arching to receive Even deeper, crying as he felt the vampire pull out, the boy falling into the mattress in a heap of shaky limbs as the older male let out a chuckle, low and dark. 

'Of course not.' Even hummed softly, moving to the top of the bed, sitting upright on the pillows and leaning languidly against the headboard, running a steady hand over his own furious erection, his beautiful face taking a predatory expression as he watched the human, Isak looking at him with wide, bewildered eyes, his entire form trembling from the sudden abandonment. 

'Come here, my love.' Even ordered sweetly, patting his own thigh in invitation as he palmed himself, the boy letting out a sharp breath as he understood what the vampire wanted. 

'Even...' Isak breathed as he crawled over to his lover, the vampire looking like a god, regal and waiting to be sated, his soft blonde hair falling in a sweep, the gentle smoulder of his powder blue irises contrasting with the effortless dominance of his laborious body language. 

'I adore you.' Even murmured softly as Isak moved close to him, still on his hands and knees, their faces inches apart. 'My gorgeous boy.' 

The vampire closed the distance between them, taking the human by the chin and claiming Isak's lips in his, the kiss boiling over with passion, Even's hands imbedding in Isak's curls and dragging him nearer, drinking him in. When the older boy broke away his expression was softened, hazy, the vampire smiling warmly, giving Isak's nose a gentle peck before settling back against the bed head, gazing at the teenager with inviting eyes, beckoning him forward. 

'Sit.' He said simply, gesturing smoothly to his groin, his register alluringly low, the boy wavering nervously, blushing scarlet. 'Only if you want to.' The vampire added, extending a hand to brush a few of Isak's curls off of his forehead, fingertips soft and grounding. 

_Isak wanted to._

The teenager stalled for only a second before climbing atop Even's awaiting lap, his sweaty palms gripping the older boy's shoulders, breathing ragged as the vampire wound his arms around the human's waist, holding him up and pulling him close, their torsos perfectly aligned, the head of Even's shaft nudging at the threshold of Isak's entrance, the boy quivering, sucking in air, bracing himself. 

'At your own pace, angel.' Even said reassuringly, large hands moving to capture the flesh of Isak's ass, the older boy kissing the human once more, his lips gentle and warm, feeling like a whisper. 

Even groaned as the boy sank down onto him, slow and steady, the teenager making a high, breathless noise as he lowered himself on the vampire's hardened length, tears of elation stinging his eyes, his soft moan turning into a strangled scream, the new angle causing him to shudder, the teenager throwing his head back in pure hedonistic bliss as he became completely impaled on Even's dick. 

'Fuck... Isak...' Even grunted, fingernails scraping into the boy's delicate skin as the human began to push up and down, arms wrapping around Even's shoulders, leaning into him for support, the human's knees shifting against the mattress as he groaned at the exertion, plunging down as his lover thrust upwards, their movements harsh and primitive, the boy quavering at the impact, hiding his face in the crook of Even's neck, his pleasured screams muffled by the vampire's warm, ghostly-white skin. 

'E-Even...' Isak whined as he felt the older male's hand move to his hair, grasping the curls and wrenching his head back, the vampire hissing, his expression ferocious. 

'Look at me, Isak.' He growled, kissing him with feverish aggression, the boy becoming faint, melting on Even's brutalizing hardness, the vampire holding the teenager tight, his grip strong and protective as he bounced Isak on his cock, lifting the adolescent effortlessly before slamming him down, again and again, the boy having transcended to something beyond pleasure, his mind abuzz, his thoughts swirling, nothing on his brain except _Even._

'Even... Even... Y-yes... Even...' He sobbed, becoming lost in those soft, sky blue eyes, never looking away, ensnared by the vampire’s gaze as he was fucked with blissful severity. 

'You're so beautiful, baby.' Even lilted tenderly, moving a hand to grasp Isak's jaw, licking at the teenager's gasping mouth. 'Such a good boy.' 

'Even... Even...' Isak wailed in response, balking as Even pummelled into him, the initial whispers of release beginning to flicker in his gut, his breath stuttering, the boy trembling against the vampire's torso, holding for dear life and whimpering low, painful chills creeping up his spine. 'Fuck... Even... I'm going to co-' 

But it was all too good to be true, the boy crying desperate, frenzied tears as the older male wrenched the adolescent off of his cock, pushing the teenager down on his back and pressing him into the bedding, the boy sniffling in frustration as the vampire pinned his wrists above his head, kissing Isak's wet, swollen lips with unrestrained tenderness before pulling back to look down at the human, his eyes glimmering with affection. 

'You're mine.' He growled softly, the boy mewling at the words, shuddering in bliss as Even leant in for another gentle kiss, warm and hushed. 

'Yes...' Isak gasped quietly, heart pounding, quailing against the vampire's mouth. 'Yours, Evy... I'm yours...' 

'My angel.' The older male hummed lovingly, a smile on his pretty mouth, the vampire pecking softly at Isak's ruddy cheeks, his lips moving to roam the adolescent's neck and shoulders, the kisses feeling almost painful against the human's flushed, blistering skin, brushing over Isak's hardened nipples and causing the boy to sob even harder, the touches gentle and sweet and excruciatingly torturous. 

'Please...' Isak gasped, wailing and thrashing a little against Even's iron grip, letting out a small, tearful squeak as the vampire's tongue flicked at his right nipple, the older male chuckling at the high-pitched sound. 'Please Evy, please... I need to come... It _hurts_...' 

'Fine.' Even murmured, softening at the human's neediness, rubbing the tip of his cock to Isak's overstimulated entrance, the boy whining and writhing against the manacles of Even's hands. 'Tell me you love me again and I'll let you come.' 

If the teenager wasn't so sexually agitated, desperate and driven almost mad by intoxicating yearning, he would have rolled his eyes at his _ridiculous_ boyfriend. 

'I-I love y-you.' Isak heard himself mutter instead, his words choked by the moan that escaped him as Even licked at the sensitive pink of his areola, teeth grazing the tender skin, the sight of it making the teenager go wild, shuddering in on himself as the older male smiled, taking joy in tormenting him. 

'I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that correctly, you stuttered.' Even said with a grin, gathering both of Isak's wrists in one large hand and keeping them in place as he moved to tweak at each of Isak's nipples, one by one, pinching down lightly and smiling, making the boy yelp. 

_Fuck._

'What'd you say?' Even raised his eyebrows, his expression expectant, cocky. 

'I love you!' Isak growled, his tone sharp and aggressive, simmering down to a whine, tears streaming from his wide green eyes, the boy's breaths choppy and strained, his entire body quivering with undeniable need. 'For fuck's sake, Even... I need to come... Please... I love you, I really fucking do... just-' 

The vampire beamed, stooping to kiss at Isak's forehead, Even's face becoming the picture of innocence, blue eyes sparkling, a soft flush on his cheeks, his smile high voltage, breathtaking. 

'Oh, that's so nice of you.' The older male cooed, brushing his nose against Isak's, his free hand carding fingers through the teenager's soft, sweat-dampened curls, his voice sweet, dripping with sugar. 'You're so nice, Isak. I love you too, baby.' 

Before the human could open his mouth to gasp out another plea, Even's face turned monstrous, his eyes becoming devoid of light, his lips curled back from pointed, razor-sharp teeth, the vampire re-entering Isak with hard, merciless force, the boy letting out a shallow scream, his head snapping back in bitter delight as the older male's cock filled him, ploughing into his pliant body, the undead young man alleviating his aches, finding the adolescent's deep, carnal itch and systematically relieving it. 

'Even!' Isak shrieked, his body shaky, hysteria rising within him as he became close, teetering at the edge and wanting nothing more than to be pushed off. 'I l-love you.' He whimpered as the vampire fucked him with ceaseless rapacity, the boy praying to the God that he didn't believe in for Even to keep going, hoping with every fibre of his blistering soul that his lover wouldn't stop. 'Even... Even... Yes... Y-yes...' 

The vampire grunted, releasing Isak's wrists as he tore into him, letting the human's hands claw at the blades of his shoulders, their foreheads touching, the older male giving Isak a slick, ravenous kiss as their bodies moved in faultless synchrony. 

'Isak...' Even groaned, moving his hands to cup the human's face, forcing the boy to look up at him, the vampire seeming to gaze into Isak's very soul, his eyes tender, as if he was fond of what he saw there. 'Let go for me. Let go.' 

Isak did as he was told, moaning and weeping as the vampire fucked him hard to climax, the older boy's full lips searching the human's neck before biting down at the base of his throat, drawing blood, the teenager convulsing in ravishment as he felt the built up tension leave his gut, blasphemous thrills shooting through his body, rippling up him and sputtering like the initial sparks of a firework, exploding and crashing against his insides, the boy crying and clinging to the vampire's rigid form as Even came inside of him, the teenager screaming as they combusted, flooded with pure, sickly, bone-chilling rapture. 

'Isak...' Even crooned softly, licking tenderly at the teeth marks he had left in Isak's skin, lapping up the blood, the human boy going limp, his body numb, obliterated, the teenager letting out shaky pants as the vampire stroked his hair and kissed his eyebrows and whispered sweet words in his ears, pulling out, the adolescent shuddering, deflating at the loss. 

'I wasn't too rough with you, was I?' Even asked tentatively as he moved to lay on his back, the human trembling, scrambling to bury his face in the vampire's side, unable to look at him, overcome with both bashful embarrassment and vast irritation. 

'Isak, my love?' Even hummed gently as he was met with silence, ruffling the head of curls half hidden under the pit of his arm, Isak letting out a disgruntled whine, pressed sheepishly into Even's ribcage as the older male wound an arm around his waist in order to snuggle him closer. 

'Are you alright?' 

'No.' Isak sulked haughtily, voice muffled and flat. 'I am not alright.' 

Although he meant the words facetiously, the boy felt the vampire stiffen. 

'D-did I hurt you?' Even asked quietly, voice becoming grave, strained and tormented, hands moving to pry Isak back, struggling to inspect the teenager's face, the boy letting out an annoyed grunt, the light-hearted noise causing the older male's body to relax. 

'Y-you're so mean.' Isak grumbled, unable to stop himself from sighing contentedly under Even's fingertips, the older boy drawing hazy patterns over the small of Isak's back, gently caressing the flushed skin. 'Why do you have to torture me like that?' 

Even just scoffed, fingers tracing the nape of Isak's neck and sweeping down his spine. 

'You mean, me being an excellent lover and extending your bodily pleasure for as long as humanly possible?' Even muttered unapologetically, giving the boy a soft squeeze. 'I don't feel bad about that, not in the slightest.' 

Isak just huffed, lulled into a state of serenity under his boyfriend's gentle ministrations. 

'You should.' He whined stubbornly, nuzzling further into Even's armpit as the vampire let out a musical chuckle. 

'Come on, Lille sol.' He murmured in a delicate plea. 'Don't hide your pretty face from me.' 

Isak huffed, lifting his head with vast hesitation, his cheeks pink and his eyes still wet with residual tears, his expression lit with feigned insolence. 

'You're a cunt.' He muttered petulantly as he was met with the smug grin of his lover, the older male's eyes warm but arrogant, the boy letting out an irritated huff as Even shifted, craning over him once more, his full lips pouted, his countenance one of exaggerated disapproval. 

'That language is far too ugly to come from such a sweet mouth.' The vampire snapped, clicking his tongue before ducking to plant a tender kiss to Isak's jugular, laughing softly against the boy's throat before depositing a tiny bite to the upper part of the teenager's neck, the small wound prickling with blood, the adolescent groaning and swatting him away in annoyance. 

'Ow!' He complained angrily, rubbing the small but stinging laceration, his forehead creasing in dismay. 'What was that for!?' 

'For using such an insensitive and misogynistic term.' Even said pointedly, smiling brightly at the irritated human and leaning in to give him another soft kiss. 

'Great.' Isak muttered, perceivably softening at the vampire's affections but trying to remain snarky all the same. 'Thanks a lot, asshole. Now I'm going to have to wear scarves for the next two weeks.' 

'That's not a bad thing.' The older male shot back jovially, happy with himself. 'You look adorable in scarves.' 

Isak rolled his eyes, shoving at Even's warm embrace and making a show of turning his back to the other, edging away on the bed, the boy regretting his choices almost immediately and allowing for the vampire to pull him back in, the teenager unable to resist Even's touch, even in the name of stubbornness, nestling into the older male's strong chest with a defeated little groan. 

'Why am I with you?' He grumbled quietly, yawning softly as Even dragged out the blankets from underneath them, the sheets lightly stained, the older boy working to cover the naked human, Isak sinking into the warmth as Even pulled the duvet up over both of them, tucking it into the teenager's sides and hugging him tight, cocooning the mortal in heat. 

'Because I have magical vampire sex powers.' Even quipped snidely, kissing the boy's fringe and making him scoff. 

'Yep.' Isak muttered, smirking in jest. 'That's becoming the only rewarding part of this relationship.' 

'Fuck you.' The other murmured back, the words holding no malice, sweet and quiet, sounding more like a term of endearment than anything. 

The boy smiled to himself in the vampire's arms, feeling like a fool, buzzing with dizzying joy and feeling both sleepy and exhilarated, as if he'd just downed five shots of vodka, drunk off Even and everything about him, the couple just laying there, warm bodies entwined and for a long moment, the older male's voice cutting through the comfortable silence, deep and velvety and all of a sudden. 

'Move in with me...' He said quietly, the words unexpected, causing the teenager to jump. 

'What?' 

'You've said yourself that there's not enough space in your flat.' The vampire muttered with a shrug, pulling back a little to peer down at the human, moving a finger to smooth the crinkle of Isak's furrowed brow. 'Noora could have her old room back and you could live here. I could make you grilled cheese and you wouldn't even need to pay rent-' 

The teenager frowned, wanting nothing more than to share a home with his beloved vampire but not at all sure that the idea was prudent. 

_Was it too soon?_

_Where they rushing into things?_

_How the hell was Eskild going to react?_

'Even-' He started, green eyes coloured with ambivalence. 

'Come on, Isak.' The vampire crooned, shooting him one of his fifty watt smiles and ducking slightly to press his nose to the boy's, eyes shining, soft and persuasive. 'It's still close to your school and climbing to your window is tiring.' 

Isak melted. Maybe for most people, such a big step so early on in a relationship would be a foolish decision. But Isak and Even weren't like most people. 

_They basically lived together as it was anyway._

_Fuck it._

'I don't know how I'm going to break this to Eskild...' The boy murmured, smiling coyly and lifting his face to kiss his boyfriend, sloppy and brimming with excitement. 

'So it's a yes!?' Even exclaimed, his smile, if it were even possible, brightening further, his eyes wide and baby blue, the size of the moon. 

'Of course it's a yes.' Isak muttered, giggling as Even kissed him again with a sudden ferocity, running his tongue along the seam of the boy's mouth and nibbling down on his lips, the vampire ecstatic, breaking the kiss suddenly and sitting up in order to rifle through the bedside drawer, the boy flopping against the pillows, eyes glued to the pale, moonlit skin of his lovers' back. 

'Good.' Even murmured, turning back to the adolescent when he found what he was looking for, tossing the item at Isak with a grin. 'Because I already got you keys cut.' 

Isak looked down at the silver house keys that had landed in his hand with a clank, glinting in the dark and tied together with a thick, black ribbon, done up in a bow. 

'You're unbelievable.' Isak muttered, smiling in awe and tinkling them lightly in his fingers before lying back down into the mattress, clutching at Even as he joined him, the vampire laughing soft and kissing along the teenager's forehead, running his lips from temple to temple, whispering softly into the human's hairline. 

'You are.' 

*** 

It was only in the heart of the night that everything settled, the hormonal hysteria of their love softening at the edges, the atmosphere becoming subdued and languid like the stillness after a storm, a peaceful silence falling over the lovers as they lay together amidst the afterglow of passion, their heartbeats syncopating, their breathing calm and steady, the boys feeling like the only two people left on Earth, the air around them smelling of rain. 

'You're the only thing in this entire cosmos that I ever want to look at.' Even whispered in the gloom, fingertips grazing the boy's cheek and lips and eyelids, administering soothing caresses to every inch of the teenager's sleepy face. 'You know that?' 

Isak blushed, sinking into himself a little before smirking. 

'What about in other universes?' He murmured in a challenge, nuzzling into Even's hand. 'There are probably a lot of better things to look at out there.' 

'Other universes?' The vampire frowned, running a thumb along Isak's jaw. 'I don't believe in that shit.' 

'I do.' The boy murmured, cuddling into Even when he drew him closer, inhaling his scent. 'I like to think that there are an infinite number of universes, where an infinite number of different possibilities are playing out. Like, everything that can happen, will happen-' 

Even chuckled into his hair, pressing kisses to the crown of Isak's head as the teenager buried his face beneath the vampire's chin. 

'I don't know.' The older boy hummed quietly, scratching softly at the human's scalp. 'I just don't buy that stoner nonsense.' 

Isak scoffed. 

'It's not stoner nonsense. It's really cool.' The boy said grumpily, breaking away to look at the other, face bright, green eyes full of wonder. 'Think about it.' He murmured as Even gave him a speculative grimace. 'There's probably another version of Isak and Even right now, laying like this, except, I don't know, maybe the curtains are a different color.' 

The vampire smiled, seemingly deciding to humor the boy. 

'Yellow curtains, then?' He muttered, tracing the soft muscles of Isak's back with gentle fingers. 

'Yeah.' The adolescent whispered, grinning, collapsing back into Even's warmth, becoming drowsy under the touch. 

When Even talked again his voice was heavy and strained, the arm around Isak's waist tautening, holding the boy too tight, like the vampire was scared of him slipping away. 

'Do you think there's an alternate universe where I died back in 1941 like I was supposed to?' He murmured, hushed and choked. 'A universe where you and I will never meet?' 

Isak contemplated this for a moment, shrugging his shoulders and wriggling closer to Even, ducking to dust the vampire's clavicle with tender, reassuring kisses. 

'Yeah. Probably.' He hummed softly, reaching up to touch the older male's strong jaw, fingers trailing his neck and shoulder as he leant up to face him. 'But I feel sad for the Isak in that universe.' 

'Why?' Was all Even said, quiet and low, as if the point wasn't obvious. 

'Because he's all alone.' Isak murmured gently, leaning in to kiss the vampire chastely on the mouth, chest aching at the thought. 'He'll never get to be with his soulmate.' 

The vampire kissed him back, their lips melding, sweet and slow, Isak's heart still fluttering, pattering softly within his ribcage, butterflies in his stomach, even now. 

'Soulmate.' Even muttered against his mouth with a low chuckle. 'What's happened to you, Isak Valtersen? Where is all of your 21st century cynicism?' 

Isak just giggled, nestling into Even's warm chest, sated and peaceful and wanting to descend into sleep, wrapped safe, right there, in the arms of his boyfriend. 

'Fuck off.' The boy mumbled with an obnoxious yawn, the vampire laughing at the noise he made, playing with his hair. 

'I won't.' He murmured tenderly, warm and velvet-smooth. 'I'm not going to fuck off ever again. Not unless you want me to.' 

Isak kissed the vampire's heart, skimming the skin there with his nose, sighing him in. 

'I'll never want that.' 

'Good.' Even whispered softly, pressing his lips to the boy's forehead, running a hand through his curls. 'Let's just stay here like this then. Forever.' 

'Mmm.' Isak hummed quietly, tilting his face towards the vampire and gazing at him with adoring, heavy-lidded eyes, the older boy smiling at him, his closed lips up-turned with fondness, no sight more beautiful. 

'Can we?' Even persisted with another gentle kiss, this time to the space between his eyebrows. 

The teenager sighed contentedly, settling into the sheets, his arms winding tighter as he sank further into his lover's strong embrace, looking up into the sparkling blue eyes of the boy he loved, the boy who was smiling at him like the sun, the boy who had saved him countless times, the boy that Isak had saved right back. 

'Yes.' He answered in a murmur, voice soft, heart painfully full, overflowing with the only thing that really mattered, overflowing with love. 'We can.' 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dead but delicious"  
> \- What We Do In the Shadows, 2014
> 
> Okay, so we're at the end. After many sleepless nights and litres and litres of coffee, this monstrosity is finally finished. This fic is the result of both heavy Skam withdrawals and one slightly drunken idea between friends that obviously got a bit out of hand. Thanks so much to those of you who have given kudos and consistently commented, the feedback is really what got me through and I truly appreciate all of you wonderful people and fellow Evak lovers. I must also give special thanks to my two best friends; Nicole (DEURIKKEALENE); my beloved babydaddy and the one who pushed me to write this in the first place, helped with research, provided harsh but constructive criticism that I needed to hear and tamed my sexual freakiness, as well as Isabella (MacDaddy), who upped and encouraged my sexual freakiness, provided constant moral support and advice during the entire writing and editing process and made it her job to ensure that I didn't, under any circumstances, accidentally use the wrong 'your.' This whole experience has really strengthened my writing, this work being my first fanfiction and the longest thing I've ever written. I'm sorry for vomiting my vampire fangirlism all over you and I apologize for all the angst and pain (I'm a dark bitch), but I hope in the end you enjoyed this and it brought you some distraction from the dull monotony of day-to-day living. In the words of Ulrikke Falch, my hero and the owner of my bisexual heart; I hope your night (or day, depending on wherever you are in the world right now) gives you good, happy, chocolaty thoughts. 
> 
> Big platonic hugs and kisses to each of you, season 4 is upon us! 
> 
> ALT ER LOVE.
> 
> ❤️  
> 


End file.
